* Posts by Bruce Leyden

45 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Aug 2006

TechCrunch dubs Linux a 'big ol’ bag of drivers'

Bruce Leyden
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"Much in the way that everybody who saw Sideways is now an expert on wine, the tragedy of blogging is that anybody with a laptop and a Gmail account is an expert on technology."

Hear f*cking hear!

Scotland Mountain Rescue turns on Ofcom

Bruce Leyden

Fatuous Scotland/bagpipe comment in a Reg article? Never!

"until Scotland's mountain rescue decides to issue bagpipes"


"until Cornwall's RNLI decides to issue highly-trained messenger pilchards"

Mind you, the pilchards would be infinitely easier for the rest of us to live with. In fact yes, I can see the upside now: issuing bagpipes might help keep more folk away from the mountains and thus ultimately prevented from ever getting stuck up one.

Knife crime Definitely Maybe linked to games, claims Oasis man

Bruce Leyden

Sure he's not on the wind up?

If he isn't then the headline should be revised to read:

"Twat Noel Gallacher Opens Twat Mouth and Declares Himself Twat"

Available to buy: your own frakkin' 7ft Cylon

Bruce Leyden

@ Robot Love

Never mind articulation, the question is: does it do nice even golden brown toast?

Flirty texting could land Scots in jail for 10 years

Bruce Leyden


Last time I checked there was actually a distinction between the letter and the spirit of the law. Seems to me the spirit of this one is perfectly sound. Mind you, judging by the Sun/Star/Mirror-style righteously indignant tone of 99% of the comments here, it looks like they have rather shot themselves in the foot with the ten year maximum sentence thing. Fuck knows what the *actual* tabloid response will be. Must remember to buy myself a copy tomorrow - it's the end of the month and I suppose I am running low on bog roll.

OpenSUSE 11 a redemptive OS with a Mactastic shine

Bruce Leyden


Check the context next time you see the word 'freetard' in a Reg article. I think you'll find it has little to do with FOSS. Also I think you mistake El Reg's anti-useless-pish bias for an anti-OSS bias.

Biggles battles Yanks for right to sport tash

Bruce Leyden


Tash? Tosh. Try 'tache.

Sony Alpha 200 digital SLR

Bruce Leyden


"The macro mode wasn’t bad, but the A200 struggled at times with close-up shooting and we often had to move a fair bit back from the subject to get a sharp image"

Perhaps try using a macro lens or extension tubes then. You can't expect the cheapo kit lens to do everything.

Social networking site bans oldies over sex offender fears

Bruce Leyden


Sorry I don't understand - we seem to be in agreement as far as I can see.

@sabroni - your original post was anonymous. how was I to know I had been condescending to you? anyway I was quoting Brasseye.

Bruce Leyden


Irrelevent. The day you are referring to is your one and only Birth Day. Subsequently, when we say "birthday" we are referring to the anniversary of that day. Your 36th "birthday" is exactly that - the 36th anniversary of your birthday. So put your condescending tone away and get on with some work. There are issues it's worth being pedantic about and this is not one of them.

Bruce Leyden

@ Anon Coward

"The 36th birthday is the day one turns *35* years old."


By your nonce-sense logic, your first birthday would be the day you turn zero years old.

And how come no one's mentioned Chris Morris yet?

Bruce Leyden

Gang of Paedophiles

Lol - "Gang of Paedophiles". Great name for a band. Think of the free publicity. Hello, is that the Daily Mail? Yes, I'd like to take out a full-page ad for our upcoming album. Yeah, it's called "The Kids Are Gonna Love Us".

Mine's the tatty mac with the pair of binoculars in the pocket.

Samsung handset promises audio bliss

Bruce Leyden
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If I want the best sound for my pound, I do not go to Bang & Olufsen, nor do I buy a 'phone. If I want a chunk of the money I spend on a 'phone to go as licensing money to a lifestyle "hi-fi" company I suppose I might buy this. Pure marketing pish.

MPs say shared service sums 'don't add up'

Bruce Leyden

The NHS is like a half-dead horse surrounded by hungry mosquitoes it can't do anything about

Ooh it's like Vicorian times... "I know how to fix the NHS! It's horrible and inefficent and wasteful, so we need leeches! Leeches for everything! Miracle cure for ineffectual bloatedness - tenacious, bloodsucking, pond-dwelling invertebrates!"

I sincerely hope Xansa shareholders lose badly out of this, but somehow I think everything will be done to make sure that doesn't happen.

Exec sounds death knell for games consoles

Bruce Leyden

Not what I've read elsewhere

This contrasts with articles I've read recently which state that the "static" hardware platform provided by consoles (as opposed to the ever-changing capabilities and ever-increasing complexity of the PC platform) along with several other factors like consolidation of the games industry, "cloud computing" and games as a service would cause developers to focus more on consoles, to the detriment of PC's.

Mobile phone stress stalks quivering nation

Bruce Leyden

What about us socially-avoidant types?

I jump every time the bloody thing rings. My stress levels drop considerably when I'm out of range or am allowed to have it switched off - i.e. all weekend.

Time was (when this was all fields - nineteenticketytwo or thereabouts) you could just pretend not to be at home when the phone rang and didn't have to come up with some lame ego-massaging excuse for not having been arsed to speak to someone.

Keyboard PC design recalls Amiga era

Bruce Leyden


...EFF - Eighties Form Factor

Ubuntu does bird beta

Bruce Leyden

@ David Wiernicki

For more gusto, Spoonerisms are your friend... How about Hery Hardon?

BBC Micro creators meet to TRACE machine's legacy

Bruce Leyden
Paris Hilton

Glad it wasn't just me

My friend: "What's Geeky Mark doing?"

Me: "He's studying the circuit diagram for his SAM Coupé, trying to see if he can improve it in any way"

My friend: "Ah, so he wants to see if he can make it subtract as well?"

I seem to remember a lot of the old my-computer's-better-than-yours fights used to revolve around how many colours one's machine could render. The spoilt-brat Amiga boys always wheeled that one out.

Paris because she can't subtract either (er, probably)

Police raid CeBIT stands

Bruce Leyden
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Hence my (slightly sarcastic) point. A friend worked for Philips in Eindhoven doing, amongst other things, materials research for circumaural headphone earpads. As you say: "real value R&D" from which they make good money licensing - income they can and should protect.

The impression of Philips as "just a manufacturer of run of the mill consumer electronics" couldn't be further from the truth. If that were the case they would have disappeared long ago.

Bruce Leyden
Paris Hilton

@ Sam

You weren't aware that Philips spends an absolute fortune on R&D, from which huge amounts of real-and-lovely-money-generating IP are created? You weren't aware that Philips is a big multinational capitalist pigdog with a pack of slavering legal attack hounds on permanent standby to guard that income? Watch out, the world's a scary place.

Paris cos she'd have the legal attack hounds rounded up and kitted out with fluffy pink booties in no time.

Automated crack for Windows Live captcha goes wild

Bruce Leyden
Paris Hilton

Apologies if this has been mentioned already...

Instead of trying to deduce the captcha string heuristically or by serving the images in return for free porn, if I was a spammer I'd be serving them one after the other to some poor hired hand on a piece rate per correct answer.

Paris 'cos that job could be right up her street - apparently she needs the money these days.

Camcorder flashlight ready for nighttime YouTube shoots

Bruce Leyden


Sorry, but the word you're looking for is "torch".

Winamp blighted by bug brace

Bruce Leyden

@ GrahamT

I rarely laugh out loud at comments, but that was funny as f*ck. My morning is now slightly more bearable, thank you.

Sony beefs up bottom-end Alpha DSLR

Bruce Leyden
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ISO Rating

"While the a100’s ISO sensitivity stopped at 1600, the a200 tops out at a slightly more acceptable ISO 3200"

"Slightly more acceptable"? Eh? ISO3200 is already at current sensors' useful limits, especially for a budget DSLR such as this.

YouTube biker clocked at 189mph

Bruce Leyden

To every commenter here who sees motorists as a persecuted group:

Get real.

Covenant energy sword added to Halo 3 replica arsenal

Bruce Leyden

Oh really?


700MHz attracts Paul Allen

Bruce Leyden

@ Ashley Pomeroy

Inspired. That is all.

Darling plays wait and see on HMRC disc loss

Bruce Leyden


'Echelons', surely? Unless you're referring to the HMRC command heirarchy as some sort of Escher/echelonment hybrid which, now it comes to mind, is probably not very far from the truth.

Counterfeit Vista rate half that of XP

Bruce Leyden

One more voice

I said I was never going to install XP as "2k does everything I need" but I seem to remember that at the time there weren't a whole load of options available to pseudogeeks such as myself when it came to cutting the Microsoft cord. It's getting to be more and more of a buyer's market with every passing day, and shit like this coming from Redmond only helps the cause - long may it continue!

I'm pretty sure I could get a working copy of Vista without much hassle (except possibly a lack of BitTorrent peers, natch) but am I going to bother? Ha ha! Go on! Pull the other one.

Apple Macs

Bruce Leyden
Jobs Halo

@ Poor old Ivan

Yeah - you should have seen me - it took three whole goes to count all the words, through my sleepy eyes, using nothing but my index finger and a finely-honed sense of my own superiority, yet still I managed to read not a single one of them. I really should be a Mac user!

Bruce Leyden
Paris Hilton

@ David Glasgow

Hear hear!

And poor old Ivan Headache - 700 word comment on a "My First Mac" story at ten to midnight? Who on earth do you think is actually going to read it/care?

US man sets himself on fire and cuts off his own arm

Bruce Leyden

Oh, and @ MTT...

Take a deep breath, count to ten and slowly, very slowly, realise that you are taking this all a bit too seriously. Also you're wrong.

Bruce Leyden

The Weather

Ok so the first video I got after clicking the link was atually a weather forecast (the armless dude was further down) but I didn't notice and carried on watching.

Can someone please tell me why on earth the word "forecast" has been replaced on this, er, forecast, with "futurecast"?

Voiceover: "AND NOW - THE WEATHER F-U-T-U-R-E-C-A-A-A-A-S-T, with lasers and stuff."

Diane: "And, as we crank up the WS10 time dilation field, we can see that it will be mostly raining crispy chunks of charred farm worker's limb."

Todd: "Gee, Diane, don'tcha think if that farmer had access to our WS10 time dilation field he might still have both his arms today?"

Diane: "Yes Todd, that is a thought, although our producers think the viewers would have preferred us to put it to better use by actually having the WS10 roving camera there, on the scene, capturing Real Life, As It Happens"

Todd: "Ha ha yes. You're so clever."

Running queries on the HMRC database fiasco

Bruce Leyden
Paris Hilton

If I had a pound for every time...

Shit! If I got paid that much for chopping up a CSV file...

*goes misty-eyed*

Glasgow is UK's runner-up in software piracy stakes

Bruce Leyden

Before it's too late for what exactly?

Is the BSA's enforcement army massing on the outskirts of Greater Glasgow, ready for the simultaneous swoop on thousands of unsuspecting businesses at midnight on December 1st?

Philips looks to build 'huge' video database for video ID service

Bruce Leyden


There is no use for the so-called word 'proactive' where 'active' would not suffice, except as a reliable indicator that bullshit repellent may be required.

I really, really hate that word.


Newest Ubuntu dubbed 'Hardy Heron'

Bruce Leyden

@ Glasshouses and stones

Comma splice bad

Russian cops cuff neo-Nazi murder film suspect

Bruce Leyden

@ Why so grammar/punctuation-free?

Hear hear!

Successful hijacking of article on Russian neo-Nazis for a spot of good old British tea time grammar nazism!

..oh, and @ Why so reticent:

"Do some serious stuff or go home this is the big time boys no pussys allowed"

Yeah!!!11!1! Testify! You go get 'em Master Danger!

Scotland ranked 'worst small country'

Bruce Leyden

Anonymous: Right again?

Can't argue with numbers, but the bottom line is the UK is the UK, and Scotland is just one part of it, whether you like it or not. You clearly have an axe to grind about what you see as English Money keeping Scotland afloat. Logically then, I would imagine that you have the same problem with local under-privileged and underperforming council estates, or would you disagree because they are closer to home than a relatively far-flung region whose problems you see as causing detriment to the UK as a whole? If Scotland were not there for you to focus on in this way, who would be next?

Also, you said "But, as you say, there's more to life than money. Scotland also has worse health, worse education, and higher CO2 emissions per capita."

Health - definitely, we're the worst of a bad bunch and I made reference to that in my last post. Britain isn't the dirty old man of Europe for no reason.

Education - depends which figures you choose to believe.

CO2 emissions - The difference between Scotland and the rest of the UK is minimal and can be rationalised to the point of making no difference. So what point is it you trying to make by stating this? Furthermore, Scotland's CO2 emissions per capita are falling faster than those of the UK as a whole are rising, but I am not so churlish as to believe that is not my problem as much as it is yours.

United we stand...

Bruce Leyden

To Anon

You misunderstand me. I would deny none of that, but to say "England pays" is to over-simplify in the extreme. We do not live in a socialist state and the distribution of wealth is far more complex than simple per-capita tax/spend.

As one simple example, many corporations based in England (predominanly London) make money in Scotland, just as many international companies make money in Britain. For British tax purposes, these companies are almost invariably London-headquartered. Tax pounds from profits made by those companies are therefore "paid" by English companies, regardless of where the work is produced. Without wanting to sound too much like Alex Salmond, UK oil and gas production is one hefty example of recent years. Sure, local economies flourish thanks to investments made on the back of such industry, but fringe benefits like these are a drop in the ocean compared to the massive profits some of these national and international companies make for their shareholders, and the taxes "paid in England" by "English" companies such as BP and their international cousins such as Total.

I know Scotland and Scottish politicians are seen as a bit of a running joke by certain English elements in general and Westminster in particular, but as long as that situation continues, these people perpetuating the stereotypes are drawing attention away from far more important issues. If you truly believe that Scotland is leeching off England, then I suggest you think again. If you listen to the figures spouted by anti-Scottish MP's then listen to the figures spouted by the likes of the SNP - they are all lying in equal measure.

You are right, Scotland would have a nightmare going it alone. As it stands, we are a "country" with little left in the way of natural resources, with a high proportion of bitter, unhealthy, spent people. We, along with the north of England, Wales and Northern Ireland, suffered through decades of Tory neglect and aggregation of capital to London. However ridiculous it may seem to you, the one thing the Scottish parliament has done is bring back power to the people - or has at least brought it closer to the people. So if simple tax/spend is your measure of provincial contributions to the UK economy then perhaps in time Scottish people will stop being so bitter, get wir axes to the collective wheel and put a cheque in the post. If only it were that simple.

Funny how stereotypes go eh? I thought it was Scots who were meant to be tight-fisted...

Bruce Leyden


"Well they don't have to do a lot, do they? They just rely on Westminster's McMafia bleeding England dry so they can "re-distribute" money north of the border."

Shove it. Adults living in Scotland are more likely to be working than those from any other part of the UK, plus they are more likely to be working in low-paid jobs.

I have worked since I was 14, full-time since the age of 18. I'm 28 now and there's not a hope in hell of me being able to afford a house in my own town, let alone a decent house, because Scotland has the highest level of house price inflation of anywhere in the UK thanks in part to all the financial high-fliers relocating from elsewhere. Christ, I haven't even been on holiday for four years.

Is it easier for you to repeat your local little-Englander politicians' rhetoric than it is to come out with something a little more reasoned and constructive? Most of the money in Britain is in London and the South East, while the rest of the UK supplies industry, workforce and food. Are you trying to say that the reason for that is everyone south of Watford Gap is innately harder-working than the rest of Britain, and Scotland in particular, whose only contribution is to send politicians to London to steal all YOUR money? Really? Are you that stupid?

Rivals torture consumers via Microsoft

Bruce Leyden


"I must be so old fashioned, had no idea. As the years go by I've simply maintained my structure of directories containing squillions of files (all with meaningful file names of course), as a result I've hardly ever had to 'search' for anything. So I couldn't care less if there was no search facility."

Hear hear!

Kilted Debian lovers to overrun Edinburgh

Bruce Leyden


"Save yourself the typing and just let it go"

...implies that some people might think a kilt is anything but a skirt. Of course it's a f*cking skirt!

Slim Devices Transporter high-end digital audio player

Bruce Leyden

What would be the point...

...of creating such a device if it didn't incorporate lossless formats? Previous commenter should perhaps read the whole article.

I reckon it's a step in the right direction. Storing/playing music using computers has always had a pretty crappy image in the audiophile world, even with the advent of FLAC/Apple/Windows Lossless et al. Giving these CODECs quality hardware will mean they have a chance prove themselves 'properly' (or not, as the case may be).

It's just a pity that, as gear like this is coming out, more and more recordings suffer from abysmal/amateur studio engineering.

If I could afford it, I'd buy one.