* Posts by Ron Eve

189 publicly visible posts • joined 21 Apr 2007


'Clippy' coup felled by Microsoft twitterati

Ron Eve

I see you're trying....

I always thought this was the reaction to Clippy in an office....


Brit musos now trouser more crumpled fivers from online music than radio

Ron Eve


This'll be the same PRS that cold call companies asking the question 'do you listen to music in your office?' And on a reply of 'yes' from the receptionist/ intern/ dogsbody, sends the company a massive bill for infringing licensing.

No not making it up. I know 3 companies where this has happened (two of them very small, < 5 people).

Rackspace sues 'the most notorious patent troll in America'

Ron Eve

Re: A Very Good Thing Indeed.

I hate to be pedantic (oh alright then) but strictly speaking you are offered a reduction of the fine, usually 50%,if you pay up within 2 weeks. Also if you contest it within the first 14 days everything is put on hold until it's been reviewed. If its upheld you then still get 14 days to pay 50%. This can take a while... *cough*

Jobs confirms iCloud's murder of iWeb

Ron Eve

Umm indeed...

I'm sure this'll annoy the usual suspects...

The other day I thought I'd try iWeb again (after a couple of years not even touching it) just to see what I was missing. The first thing I found out was that it will publish to any host and, by heck, the settings page for this couldn't be easier. I then created a site using 2 albums from iPhoto, a quick bit of editing for titles etc and published to my personal domain. Less than 30 minutes later I was emailing the fine result to my family and friends.

You see, for a lot of people this opens the door to self-publishing and sharing pictures and what have you. They're not in the least bit interested in CSS, PHP or whatever and don't even know what they are.

For what it is and what it achieves (for free - other than my cheap domain), it's very very hard to beat.

Just my 2 bobs worth (that should also give you a clue).

Once-in-a-lifetime gag tops Fringe quip list

Ron Eve


I"ll try again and see if this post gets through...

"...the hoi polloi" is grammatically incorrect as 'hoi polloi' means 'the masses' or 'the many', so your sentence reads "the the masses'.

/my coat is most definitely ready...

Orange gives the green light

Ron Eve


As other posters have said here London generally is rubbish for Orange. I've been working in the Camden area for about a year and I've just about given up trying to use my mobile. Even out in the open on the canal the service is spotty. I've had to direct all friends and clients to email me where possible. Several attempts at numbers, connections dropped, horrendous service...

If what some of the people here say is true (cells not working or repaired) then surely we have some recourse to recompense for the failure in service. I swear I got better results than this 20 years ago with my first mobile phone...

Facebook login page still leaks sensitive info

Ron Eve


Nope. It's definitely not a "classic case of the end user (good guys) being penalised or inconvienienced by systems put in place due to the potential actions of spammers/hackers (bad guys)."

Everyone should take responsibility for their own security. And that should mean, as others have pointed out, the login pages should NOT give the opportunity of second-guessing email addresses or passwords.

If it means writing login details on a Post-it note because the user hasn't enough brain cells to remember then so be it, at least then that user takes responsibility for being a twunt.

Shopping mall mulls Supreme Court bid to back no-speaking ban

Ron Eve


It's to do with the prevention of unauthorised persons/organisations from effectively setting up shop within a commercial property i.e. the mall. The tabloid (if that's what it is) is subverting the actuality.

Quite right too (the prevention, that is).

They haven't paid any rent to the owners for the space they're occupying and they're likely to seriously piss off paying customers with their proselytising about imaginary beings. I mean how would you like to walk into <name of supermarket here> for your weekly supply of toilet paper and be confronted by someone trying to force your to do 'Personality Tests', as formulated by a late science fiction writer?

Thought not.

Perseid meteors 'thrill star-gazers'

Ron Eve

@Out in Grimsby

Blimey! Since when did Grimsby have Romantics living there?

I think we should be told!

/foil coat

Blackhole your malware

Ron Eve
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No problem here....

Good article, thanks for that.

Perseid meteors - brace for endazzlement

Ron Eve
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@An absolute shower

haha! That really made me chuckle..

Conficker's 6m strong botnet confounds security probes

Ron Eve

I for one...

...welcome our Conficker Bonet Overloads - it's Our Density

Czechs toast Bud-beating beer win

Ron Eve

Thank goodness...

...that reason prevailed.

That anyone should think US Budweiser is a beer in anything but name should be taken outside and pelted with their own shite. They should be hauled up under the Trades Description Act then flogged.

Major Road-Works (Retd)

Tunbridge Wells

Tesla Roadster runs for 241 miles in Monte Carlo e-rally

Ron Eve

@Then there is the Top Gear Episode

You've got to be careful here. Tesla protested all sorts of things about that day, including the 'fact' that the TG team had to push the car home. Which was untrue and TG had to admit it later.

A friend of mine did some work for Tesla (only body parts) and he said TG were determined to stitch them up. He said the acceleration, for example, is so strong he couldn't move his head of the head-rest.

No doubt battery life won't be as good as they say here, but since when have any manufacturers told the truth about this?

Apple Mac Pro

Ron Eve

AC @ 11:37

The clocks changed last weekend - but I reckon you need to bring yours up from 1998.

Street View captures traditional British Christmas

Ron Eve


It's been removed already, bastards... if you 'step' along the street that image is 'removed' although one step beyond (!) you can turn and look back and see those guys.

Is this the new sport then? See what turns up on StreetView and alert everyone before it gets pulled?

By the way, it can't have been done at Christmas, everyone's wearing t-shirts. Unless they're Geordies....

/just a coat - I'm a soft southern bastad.

Opera chief: Microsoft's IE 8 ‘undermines’ web standards

Ron Eve


"Why is this a problem? What MS has done is what Firefox, Opera et al don't do and that is... MAKE THE BROWSER COMPATIBLE WITH THE INTERNET!!!"

Errrm... I think you'll find that that's what adhering to W3C standards is all about....


Feds file new felonies against alleged Palin hacker

Ron Eve

@ AC 11:43

The time to worry is when you CAN comprehend his comments.

Court rules airline secret security list is stupid

Ron Eve

Could they be....

... weapons of mass string tension....

Doors to manual

/llfejacket - exit

Nude Apple iMac pics leaked to web

Ron Eve
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All I can say is thanks goodness for ifixit.com. Brilliant site showing how to safely dismantle Macs. Their instructions are actually easier to follow than Apple's official ones (well, those I've seen).

As for the rest of these comments @Simon Hobson is spot on. Get over it.

The Borings renew Street View fight

Ron Eve


Well spotted. I always thought Merikans, as in those with surnames like 'Boring', had only been around for about 400 hundred years, somewhat short of a millennium, considerably destitute for 'millennia'.

Maybe the lawyer is going for a Pulitzer.

Italian iPhone makes like Roman candle

Ron Eve
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And in other news...

.... a car broke down and me mum's washing machine packed up.

How many iPhones sold? How many have suffered this problem?

Good grief. Slow news day lads (and lass)?

/El Fail

Hitler ordered Luftwaffe to spare Blackpool

Ron Eve

Oh who do you think you're kidding Mr Hilter...

Obviously the cnut never went there.

But I started thinking, there's that whole range of Hitler spoofs on YouTube like this one:


Maybe someone could create a new one with Blackpool as the theme....

Next-gen Mac mini 'photo' surfaces

Ron Eve


Actually it is hard. Well, it is with an auto focus camera phone in low light - which is what this looks like. Low light = wide aperture = little depth of field, hence if the auto focus focuses on the table the object on it is likely to be out of focus.

/camera bag

Apart from that, this 'new' mini looks really unlikely. Why 5 USB ports?

Hacker pokes new hole in secure sockets layer

Ron Eve

Interesting but...

... sorry to be a pedant, "through several clever slights on hand" is all wrong. The expression is "by sleight of hand' as in like a magician's card trick or disappearing handkerchief.

I'm pretty sure you can't have a plural 'sleights' either. Maybe "through several clever tricks" would have sufficed.

And now I really must get out....


Robert Llewellyn drops Red Dwarf clanger

Ron Eve

There is a god

Big Suse and Red Dwarf - together.



Apple shares MacBook break-in tips

Ron Eve
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Epic fail, El Reg

El Reg. As others here have pointed out this is SO not news. It's not even a view balanced viewpoint. Did your writer not get get his soy latte this morning?

As someone who takes Macs apart for a living taking out 8 easy-to-reach screws is a no-brainer. The early iBooks and PowerBooks were a different matter, requiring major disassembly to replace the HD. But even with those you exercise good working practices. Lay it all out on cloth covered, well lit table (so the screws don't bounce off and stay where you put them). Turn to http://www.ifixit.com/Guide/ to find the relevant model and away you go.

I think I can safely say MOST Mac users don't want/need to upgrade their compters. A bit more RAM maybe, but when it comes to changing the HD it's usually because the original has failed.

Does the average Joe expect to change the engine of his car if it fails? No he takes it to a mechanic....

Mind you, I can remember trying to upgrade RAM (or drives!) on the old PowerMac 8500 towers... First tool on the table was a box of Elastoplast (Band-Aid to our US cousins) as you could guarantee cutting something fleshy during the long, tedious process...

Missed flight woman goes absolutely mental

Ron Eve


Call that a tantrum? She's just throwing her toys out of the pram. They had proper tantrums in my day. For a real tantrum check Keith Moon or Elton John. Oh yes.

Times are a changin' tho...


UK.gov to tap BT as data harvester

Ron Eve

Another chocolate teapot

Retaining all this data will be just like keep all the CCTV recordings - useless until after the event.

I thought it was all about crime PREVENTION. If our guvmint dealt with the social issues that lead to the actions by the murdering fuckpigs then maybe we could live in peace.

Just my two bobs worth (yeah, I remember them).

The Boss bitchslaps Ticketmaster

Ron Eve
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'twas ever thus

Samo samo. It's never been any different. In all the years I worked in the music business the way tickets are distributed and sold has never been anything more than a scam to fleece the punter. Even going directly to the box office (i.e. the Albert Hall) to buy tickets for future events there, you still pay a 'booking fee'. If you question it you will never get a direct answer other than 'it's a standard charge for booking'.

It's the same deal with distribution. Promoters and agents tie all this in with the venues and sometimes even with artists management. In the old days it used to be that they'd all sit in the office while the gig was on, count up all the tickets (other than pre-sold), count up the cash and then divvy it up to be carried out in brown paper bags. No, I'm not making this up.

Ticktemaster have been one of the worst offenders for charging all these extras and they hold a near monopoly. I don't really know what can be done about it though. Good for Springsteen on calling them out on it. If he can start the ball rolling with all the other major artists then that would be a great thing. There are a lot of artists (especially big acts) who have been grumbling for years about this.

Well done El Reg for reporting this, I haven't seen it anywhere else yet!

Half Life 2 used for firefight fire drill

Ron Eve


Please! Won't someone think of the children!

Seagate kisses Maxtor goodwill goodbye

Ron Eve

@ Celibrate (sic)

I keep reading so many 'in my last job I replaced so many <insert drive mfg> comments, plus, after reading Google's report on drive failures (related to 10,000+ units), that I'm really getting annoyed. Surely someone somewhere can put all this together and come up with the definitive 'most reliable drive' manufacturer?

Drive manufacturers all have their ups and downs (currently it seems to be Seagate's turn for flagellation), but it must be possible chart these. All you guys who are fitting hundreds of drives must have some data...

Woman jailed for texting while driving

Ron Eve


The headline is unhelpful in that it implies she was found guilty of causing death by texting while driving. Leaving aside the ambiguity ("While I'm driving I think I might kill someone by sending them a text message") she was, as has been pointed out, found guilty of 'death by dangerous driving'.

Here you can find the definition of this offence. You can also see the guidelines by which the judges may operate. The maximum sentence is remarkably, ahem, stiff.


Very interesting.

Call me old-fashioned but I think hanging is too good for this obnoxious, thoughtless twunt of a bitch. Just my opinion mind.

Council fields world's first rubbish-fuelled rubbish truck

Ron Eve
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Nothing changes

Why oh why etc... First we have garbage trucks that have horrendously noisy engines and now they're completely silent. I wish they'd electrify those horrendously noisy buses too.

Reminds of an apocryphal story from some years ago when some bright spark in health and safety thought it was a good idea to make the indicators on motorbikes beep when used (non-bikers: the indicators don't self-cancel). Apparently when a bike was waiting or turning slowly at a junction with said beeping indicators deployed the sound was uncannily like the beeping pedestrian crossings when it's safe to cross. Only it wasn't. Funnily enough they don't fit them anymore.

Coming soon: Pills to 'turn down' your ears at clubs

Ron Eve


I see a few other people here (no pun intended) suffer from tinnitus. I've had it for years now, bloody nuisance...

A couple of years ago I was referred to the audiology dept of Charing X Hospital (London) where I tried out some new in-ear devices that treat tinnitus by feeding back the specific frequencies in to your ear at a low level to train your aural networks to ignore it. It was getting better but the devices were very fragile and kept breaking. (The audiologist said the NHS had complained but the manufacturers weren't interested in fixing the problem).

Since then there's been the release of a software-based solution which I'm about to try. It's had some very good reviews. It also explains in detail the current knowledge about it.

Sorry for slightly off-topic comment, but it is relevant, IMHO.


"Bit more 4k please"

Ron Eve

Hello? Hello?

What the Fuch's the use of that...?

Or do you put the pills in your ears?

/with the ear muffs

Librarians redubbed 'audience development officers'

Ron Eve


Who elects these twunts into a council anyway? How on earth do they get away with such poo.

“There will always be an appropriate level of staffing in libraries."

One would always hope that there'll be sufficient staff to do the job...

Any staff freed up by self-service will be used across an expanded, more customer-focused library service for Edinburgh.”

One would always hope the customer comes first...

FFS can we not get rid of these troublesome clowns.

Asus' angular laptop-of-the-future designs spied

Ron Eve


... a PC with some style.

Actually looks quite nice, albeit not dissimilar to another manufacturers earlier foray into white plastic...

Ah wait... There are no stickers all over it!! Wait until the Beast of Redmond's marketing get hold of it!

Banks told to spend £1bn on new IT to prepare for failure

Ron Eve


I thought cheques were being phased out... Imagine your surprise when you try to pay it in and they point to the sign "Cheques no longer accepted".


If they're so advanced and hi tech why cant' they sort out their *kin web sites so that they're W3C compatible and not just Windoze/IE? Some do so it really can't be that difficult. Or are the back handers from M$ to big to ignore?

/mine's the one with the fake paying-in slips in the pocket...

Apple iTunes Store goes '100% DRM-free' - allegedly

Ron Eve


Why let facts get in the way of a good story? All those bleating about Apple, DRM. bit rates and region coding - please do a little research (you can happily search El Reg for all this).

For Apple to even think about selling music they HAD to bow to the record industry (RIAA et al) and infect everything with DRM. There was NO choice about this otherwise the labels would simply not license the music.

Bit rates - Although to some extent there were space considerations (higher rate - more space) again the music industry didn't want any material released at high (i.e. lovely for pirating CD's etc) bit rate.

Movies - substitute the MPAA for the RIAA.

Region coding - <sigh - this is getting boring> see MPAA and RIAA who want to maximise profits from around the world.

Can you see a pattern emerging? If you can't then you need to get back to your class while your computer is downloading all that 'free' stuff, you thick cnuts.

Pranksters infiltrate live Macworld feed

Ron Eve
Jobs Halo

@AC - Steve Jobs Is Not Dead!

That mate, was one of the funniest things I've read in weeks, including the story about the Zune 'lying down for a bit'.

Any chance you could write some articles for El Reg?

Marvellous stuff.

Apple unveils 17in MacBook, iLife tweaks, Tony Bennett

Ron Eve

@The internal battery...

"The reasons not to have a removable battery are simply laughable, not to mention that Apple has a long history of defective batteries... "

Errm.. defective batteries are not the preserve of Apple alone, plus, these are usually outsourced items from the likes of Sony.

250,000 battery recall by Fujitsu


4.1 million battery recall by Dell


28,000 battery recall by Sharp


Acer to recall 27,000 batteries


Sony to pay out $432m to recall nearly 10 million batteries


I guess you can see where this is going...

Flame on?

Steve Jobs dismisses death rumours

Ron Eve
Jobs Halo

@ AC 16:23 -- Re: @Ted

Nah - can't be Webster. Sentences are too well constructed and nowhere near enough bile dripping from every word.

I sometimes wonder if I live in a different world. Admittedly I deal with (mostly)Macs in (often very) mixed environments, working alongside IT staff who have to deal with both and I've not found anyone yet who has anything but praise for the way Apple have turned their platform round. (OK some still don't like Macs but that's a personal thing).

OS9 was pretty dreadful on a mixed network but OS X, because of it's *nix roots uses the same 'standard' protocols as everyone else.

The OS X interface is pretty universally recognised as being very easy to use, but perhaps you're one of those souls who believes that unless you're getting your hands dirty with command line then it's not a real OS.

Oh wait, have I just taken the bait?

What the Freetard Photo book tells us

Ron Eve


Work (if you can call it that) of utter and mind-numbing banality. Really really ordinary snaps that show SFA of the subject's personality.

Whereas the Oxford Project engages the viewer with not only a visible time-line but the portraits (which is what they are) exude a tremendous sense of the characters portrayed.

In other words, the Free Souls book is total bollocks.

Apple wants to swipe your iPhone

Ron Eve


"Apple have, for years, adopted a business model whereby they produce products that are a refinement of existing technology and then, when sued for infringement, either buy the other company or settle out of court. It's a business model that I've always considered bizarrely high-risk but it means they get products on the shelves more quickly than if they went through proper due-diligence so they obviously believe the risk is worth it (and their bottom line seems to confirm they are right and I'm wrong)."

Oh really? Links to proof?

In the ditch with DAB radio

Ron Eve

I don't get it.

So you can get more channels on DAB. That's just more channels of shit. Look at TV - you've got five basic channels of shit. If you get Freeview you get even more shit and if you get Sky/Virgin you get a shit load of shit.

I know 4 people with DAB radios, who listen to stuff that's on FM, only in mono. I've never come across DAB in a car and I do a lot of travelling.

Oh wait, we had the BBC computer for a while didn't we? <sound of wind in empty corridors>

Meanwhile I'm listening to Radio Paradise (via iTunes or web site) with no ads and no dj's wittering on about the neighbour's cat.

Apple ejects iBoobs

Ron Eve

@AC 13.30

Calm down dear, it's only a commercial!

Apple update purges 21 security vulns from OS X

Ron Eve

Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be Webster Phreaky!

Blimey. 'Daily Mail reader, Mr Angry from Tonbridge Wells, moves to the USA'.

Frothing, sputum-flecked bile. Hey AC! - it's only a commercial dear!

I don't use Windows unless absolutely necessary (>0.1%) but when I do to me it's just another tool...

... I just prefer using Snap-On instead of WalMart.

Pret customers get free Wi-Fi

Ron Eve
Paris Hilton

Hah! You nasty English bed-wetting types!

I'm currently working regularly in Peterborough which means travelling by National Express with their 'free' wifi. It's slower than dial up, almost useless. Like someone else here I tried it 'on the train' but i haven't bothered for months.

And staying at the Holiday Inn Express (near the showground) where they charge (business rate, not walk up which is £90) £75 per night, they want £15 extra a day for wifi... or you could get the £11 per day version which 'allows simple web surfing'.

So I found a nice little b&b nearby - free wifi, freeview tv and Sky, beers for a pound and the owner picks me up when it's too wet to walk.Oh err.. £45 per night. If only the rest of the world worked that way, what do you reckon?

I wonder how much Paris would charge per night?

Apple spreads 300 million iPhone apps

Ron Eve
Jobs Horns

Waste of time reporting

Tch!! "Pandora is not available in the UK iTunes store"

Why didn't you mention that when posting the link?


Irritated of Tunbridge Wells.