Posts by You're my wife now Dave

Desktop renaissance? Nope, rebound of hefty PCs is just because there's notebook shortage – analysts

Remember when?!

Remember that time when Lenovo shipped laptops pre-loaded with malware?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superfish

Virgin Media to hike broadband prices by nearly 7 per cent

VM F*** Right Off

I quit VM in August after they tried to increase my BB only contract by >10%

I have a mobile phone so no need for a landline also. I decided to consolidate all of my internets into one easily repayable internet

Now I use Three's one plan unlimited, which is truly unlimited! £26 p/m with a new HSDPA phone. You can go for a 4G LTE model if faster speeds are required, but in good areas I regularly achieve 17Mb download, ~2Mb upload

No punishment for tethering either, so I wirelessly tether everything to my phone. Worked out cheaper as free calls and texts etc, speed is actally better than Virgin Media's miserly 10Mb, in most cases this is adequate but check your coverage before ditching the VM cretins

Virgin Media keeps mum as punters fume at crippled web access

Unable to ping the IP address for stackoverflow.com (198.252.206.16), tracert doesn't get further than the router I am using right now on VM cable

There are clearly some internets broken inside VM, has been like this for at least a few weeks, however phoning those VM dicks to report something like this is not good for your mental health!

Japan hides anti-piracy warning on P2P networks

Re: FM

I think the original poster was being ironicle

Sixth of Britain's cellphones have traces of poo on them

Angry turds?

Everyone normally has bacteria (mainly friendly flora) on their hands, so were the 16% tested without working in the bleach factory at the time?

Police send Reg hack CRB check database

tut tut

Hope they're going to re-imburse you pro-rata for any time spent removing the copies of this data from your mail server backups etc. This expense is forced upon El Reg to comply with the law, so they should be forced to pay!

SAP promises maintenance metrics 'soon'

Acronymetrix

Seems like my German colleague was right, SAP = Smile And Pay

Once you're in balls deep with these guys there's no easy way back

Das überdatabase: Inside Wacky Jacqui's motherbrain

Method in the madness

Found this working on a USB key I found in a taxi, labelled TOP SECRET MEGA UBER DATABASE DEV TEST SYSTEM

Luckily there's only test data in the tables so no real security breach to report

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use orwellian_live_devsys -- ha ha this is so easy to do its money for old rope

select terrorist.name, terrorist.address, terrorist.location, * -- we can charge these mugs £28Bn for it and £20Bn PA maintenance

where terrorist.name is not in ('jackie smith',gordon brown','osama bin laden') -- gotta keep the bosses onside but you can remove the first 2 items when item 3 says so

order by skin_colour, religion, ethnicity desc -- this is current standard do not alter EVER

--

Mines the one with the GPS tag/camera/mic combo in the hoodie

Virgin Media ADSL punters suffer 2-day email meltdown

@ Michael Jennings

Ha, my ISP is VM but my old ISP still delivers my mails - for free, 4 years on!

Makes you wonder why some ISP's are so lax at deleting lapsed mail accounts - what's in it for them?

Security researchers' accounts ransacked in embarrasing hacklash

@ Dave Hall

I intuitively guess that most readers here rely on 3rd parties to provide some layer of security every day (insert names of OS vendor & web browser here)

Do any privacy policies explicitly guarantee complete protection against hackers?

It's doubtful any firm would make such a bold claim, security can be compromised in many ways, some methods even circumventing what's in your direct control

Whatever works now can never be guaranteed future proof. Just look at the *KNOWN* lists of many high profile companies, .gov sites, ISP's, banking, IM & e-mail systems that have been caught with their pants down in some way or another

There's no hope, be afraid of the future, back to pen & paper everybody! Ahem, were *my* pants down when I started?

<blushingly pulls 'em up and wonders if a pants down icon is suitable for the reg>