* Posts by Skizz

155 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Aug 2008

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iPad's brain not so unique

Skizz
Joke

Would you like to see that...

...through the round winodw, the square window or the arched window?

Skizz (showing just how old he is)

Time to kill the zombie health records

Skizz
Big Brother

NO2ID's issues...

It's not the 'computerisation of patient data' that's the problem (I mean, have you seen the paperwork the keep at your local GP), it's 'keeping it all in one place' that's the problem. It introduces single point of failure problem - if it goes wrong, everyone suffers. It provides a single attack point for hackers / insurance companies / etc. It takes control of personal information out of the patient's hands entirely.

A much better solution is to have patient details stored at the GPs surgery and define a framework to allow other GPs, hospitals, A&E departments and so on to access the data. GPs would then be involved in the patients data access providing an extra level of control over the data.

Can you give to charity and cost Microsoft money?

Skizz
Joke

He'll reach Land's End in...

nine days, no, 30 mintues, no, a month, make that 7 hours, now it's six days...

Perv scanner todger quips provoke Miami airport assault

Skizz
Thumb Down

Zero Tolerance

They might have "a zero tolerance policy for workplace violence" policy, but what about a "a zero tolerance policy for workplace bullying" which is pretty much what's been going on.

Google borgs 3D desktop

Skizz
Thumb Down

So I can now...

...lose documents on my virtual desktop the same way I can lose them on my real desktop. Big step forward there then. Explain, exactly, how I'd find a particular PDF in that that pile of PDFs early on in that video?

How Labour’s Web2.0rhea cockup helped the photographers

Skizz
FAIL

Clear something up for me....

If this Clause 43 goes through and money is being paid to this external licensing entity, what happens to the money? Does it just sit in a bank account somewhere? Hidden under a matress? Goes into the CEO "I'm not related to Lord Mandel-Devil-Incarnate-Son honest guv"'s bonus?

On the one hand, it's awful that the small guy is being shat on from a great height once again, but the scheme is a true evil-genius plan.

'Go veggie to save the planet' UN, EU plans debunked

Skizz

Basically, we're f*cked.

We clear the rainforests of Indonesia to grow palm oil to make bio-fuel. clear the Amazon to create pasture land for beef, build huge boats to get every last fish out of the sea...

Climate scientists - had handy smokescreen for big business.

Home Secretary swats away calls for Mosquito ban

Skizz
FAIL

Big Fail

When will they realise, like CCTV, it doesn't solve a problem, just moves it somewhere else.

Industry groups leap to Chip and PIN's defence

Skizz

Newspeak

Of course fraud has gone down since the introduction of chip-and-pin, it's now called 'customer negligence'.

Compulsory perv scanners upset everyone

Skizz
FAIL

@Nigel 11

I've a human right not to be run off the road by irate car drivers whilst cycling to and from work. But I don't see the government doing anything about it, even though it is far more likely I will be involved in such an incident than being on a plane and being blown up by terrorists.

You are clearly missing the point - the scanners will not, in any way whatsoever, make flying safer from terrorists. Terrorists will, as has been shown every time a new security measure is introduce, figure out a way to get around it. It is only because terrorists are stupid that they don't cause more havoc.

It will however, make the queue to get through security longer. Imagine all those restless, bored kids annoying you as they wait in line to get scanned.

Government IT strategy confirms savings target

Skizz
Coat

Would the cloud use open standards?

In which case, it would be an Open Government Cloud, or OGC for short! Long live comedy logos.

Would the data centres hosting the G-Cloud be called the G-Spots?

Airport scanner staff object to vetting

Skizz

It'll all end when...

...Angolina Jolie (other celebutards are available) is made to use a scanner and the picture pops up on Face-Twitter-Space or whatever faster than a government U-turn.

Acutally, thinking about it, the Sun would probably insist everyone goes through the scanner and the images made public just so they can publish 'shocking' images of celebs.

Now the Queen needs a passport, would she have to go through one of these as well?

US makes travellers go online, before getting onboard

Skizz
Black Helicopters

Visa Waiver

I always wondered what 'moral turpitudes' were. But then it does ask if you've been convicted of one of them and nothing I've ever done has led to a conviction....at least, not yet.

Then there's 'are you a spy?' Answer: 'Yes, arrgghh, I mean no, sorry, first day on the job and all that...'

Southampton chap lodges todger in steel pipe

Skizz
Thumb Up

A candidate...

..surely for the year's first playmobil perversion!

Sony to co-launch 3D TV channel?

Skizz
FAIL

Die 3D Die

Well, as Mark Kermode off Live 5 says, Avatar 3D was supposed to show the world just what 3D could do and the answer was: not a lot.

Can anyone explain the chunnel fiasco?

Skizz
Coat

Oops

Your description of the signalling system is incorrect. The high speed continental trains do not use track side signals, nor do they use red/yellow/green signals. They mainly use speed based signals, the driver is shown the target speed for the end of the current block and the speed for the next block, flashing if different. The red/yellow/green signals are only widely used in the UK.

I'll stop now before getting into the really geeky stuff.

Mine's the one with the train spotter's almanac in the pocket.

Spook firm readies Virgin Media filesharing probes

Skizz
FAIL

Whatever results they come up with...

...will have a huge error margin. Encrypted data will no doubt be added to the 'illegally shared file' total. And the music recognition algorithm is by no means 100% accurate. I'd be amazed at 20% accuracy. In the end, if there was no illegal file sharing then the music business will lose out since fewer people will be buying music. Who would fork out money to listen to music that is highly likely to be shit. Try before you buy.

Cartoon smut law to make life sucky for Olympic organisers

Skizz
Grenade

What if... Part II

Not only do you e-mail the MPs dodgy cartoons, you encrypt them as well, clearly supplying the decryption key. Then, when the cops turn up, they can be done for either a) not providing the decryption keys to access the file under the terrorism laws, or b) having dodgy pictures, which has strict liability and therefore it doesn't matter that they never solicited the e-mails. Brilliant.

Skizz
FAIL

What if...

...someone e-mailed all the MPs a cartoon containing illegal images. Could we then arrest anyone who received said e-mail?

Skizz

Sky talks up subscription 3D merits

Skizz
FAIL

3D Must Die

It doesn't add anything. It's a fad. A good script well acted can be more 'immersive' than 3D. Ooh, I get it now: get some cheap shit, make it 3D, profit! Can we please, please, please get the digital / HD stuff done and working well (my STB, a V+ box, is slow and buggy) before trying to shovel rubbish at us.

Appeal Court: Mod chips infringe game copyright after all

Skizz

It wouldn't be so bad...

...if the console manufacturer didn't region lock games. Come to think of it, what is the point of region locking?

The Prisoner set for Sunday release

Skizz
Go

The blocks at the bottom of the map...

are a Code39 barcode.

Election makes net snooping a pariah policy

Skizz
FAIL

How to Stop IMP

Just tell everyone it's the same as the having the government open all the letters that are posted every day and having a quick look to make sure there are no 'terrorist atrocity plans' inside or pictures of kiddies.

Actually, it all makes sense. Get everyone using e-mail by running the Post Office into the ground and then snoop on everyone all the time.

Skizz

MPs prepare to beat off phantom Olympic hooker invasion

Skizz

"Found this spoon, sir. "

40,000 single women going to Germany during the world cup. And nobody noticed.

Skizz

HP, Dell punters furious over Windows 7 upgrade delays

Skizz
Thumb Down

Upgrading now

I have an Acer laptop and got the 'free' upgrade last Saturday (from the Czech Republic of all places). I'm installing it now and it's not great so far. Firstly, it requires running as administrator, but it doesn't tell you this when you do run it, it just tries to do the upgrade, fails, and doesn't tell you. So you're sat waiting not knowing it's failed. Then it told me some apps were incompatible and a restart was needed, but it didn't restart automatically, just dropped back to the desktop. It's copying files now.

The packaging suggests the upgrade will take 2-3 hours! An Ubuntu 9.04 install (with office apps and stuff) takes about 25 minutes on the same PC!

Skizz

How malware frames the innocent for child abuse

Skizz
Big Brother

They say...

...that the best form of defense is attack. I wonder how long before there's a bot-net pushing images (not just kids, but anything extreme) onto every vulnerable PC and then sending the IP address of the targets to the police. It would, I fear, make it impossible to prosecute anyone for possesing this stuff.

Spain cuts off 3m pre-pay mobiles

Skizz
FAIL

A logical extreme

Terrorists make plans by talking to each other. Therefore, to stop future terrorist plots we must stop people from talking to one another.

Employers to take fingerprints for CRB checks

Skizz
Paris Hilton

So how do CRB checks work then?

If I apply for a job that requires a CRB check, who then verifies that I'm the person that turns up at the police station to get finger printed? Surely I could get someone else to go for me?

Paris - 'cos she's always up for being fingered.

Mandy declares 'three strikes' war on illegal file sharers

Skizz
FAIL

Worth and value

"consumers needed to be educated about the “value of intellectual property rights”"

It may have value to the IP holder, but it's only worth what someone is willing to pay for it. From the figures the IP holders often produce, it seems there's a whole lot of worthless rubbish out there. If they want people to buy their stuff, they need to improve the quality, make it something people want to pay for.

I wonder what the ratio of illegal downloads versus legitimate purchases between quality products and the rubbish ones (LoTR vs PoTC3 for example).

Skizz

ID fraud prevention week fights UK's fastest growing crime

Skizz

How much?

£1.2bn a year. That figure has been used for God knows how many years now. You'd have thought it would be increasing.

Almighty rumpus in Swedish lesbian enclave

Skizz
Happy

Fake

That's so obviously a photoshop fake! The lighting's all wrong, shadows in the wrong place and it's as clear a daylight where Optimus Prime has been digitally removed (the great one using his transforming abilities to provide the enclave with suitable electro-mechanical assistance).

US court says software is owned, not licensed

Skizz

If I own the software...

...can I choose to uninstall it from one machine and install it on another. It's a bit like buying a CD but only being allowed to play it on one CD player. Want to take it out and play it on another CD player - nope, must buy a new CD.

CanOfWorms->Open ();

I see lots of money being spent on Senators in the near future (or whoever, I'm not American and I'm only vaguely knowledgable on US politics).

How to host your very own Windows 7 launch party

Skizz
FAIL

@abigsmurf

"When a sales person say "and this PC comes with Windows 7" it'll spark up and "oooh, I've heard people talking about this" response and they'll be at least a bit curious."

That would only work if there was a choice available. Walk into any high street shop that sells PCs and try to find anything that hasn't got Windows on it.

One does wonder who these adverts are aimed at. People buying new PCs will just accept what's pre-installed so that's no gain for Microsoft. The only area where Microsoft gains is people upgrading their OS on existing PCs (so Microsoft gets two licenses for one PC). It's a very hard sell:

MS: Upgrade your OS.

Customer: Why?

MS: Because you can do all these cool things, more productively and safer!

Customer: But that's what you promised last time.

MS: .... How about a party?

Skizz
FAIL

Who are they kidding...

that last video, speech recognition that good, hah! I wonder how the voice recognition would cope with "he said 'I want you to stop listening to me now.'" I'd like to see it tackle a geordie accent. Also, that guy was reading from a badly written script. Was it me, or did all those sceen captures look a bit sluggish?

Just who comes up with this stuff.

I wonder if trading standards / ASA would be interested in that speech recognition demonstration as it is total bullshit.

You know, every release of Windows / Office has always been touted as being better, faster, more productive. Why then, do I feel like it's getting slower to use my PC. I recently got a laptop with Vista - my God, how bad can it get!

Microsoft takes on Wet Willie's to punt Windows 7 in Paris

Skizz
WTF?

Let me see

Ethnic minority guy....check

Old person....check

Geek.....check

Annoying sex-and-the-city attention seeking tart...check

Shaky camera....check

Breaking the fourth wall....check (take that Apple, hah!)

I wonder how long before someone posts an edited version where the black guy's head is replaced with a white head (but leaving the hands/arms).

Skizz

Demon splurges details of 3,600 customers in billing email

Skizz
FAIL

Password

The 'passwords in plaintext' is a non-issue. The e-mail was about a new service, e-billing, which required a username and password to log in. It's a chicken and egg situation. You need a password to log in, you have no password so how do you log in. Ah, yes, the provider gives you a password, but it has to be in plain text.

This CSV file is just a data source for an e-mail merge that accidentally got attached to the e-mail itself. There's no reason to suppose the e-billing system stores passwords in plaintext.

So someone pressed the wrong button in Outlook. Stupid mistake. Easily fixed. Nothing to see. Move along now.

Skizz

Sony and BBC clash over PS3 problems

Skizz
Thumb Up

@Mike Bird

Thanks for those links to the Sale of Goods Act, it really helped. I recently bought a laptop and it had a dead pixel. I complained about it but the retailer stated they could only do anything if it had five or more dead pixels (even though there is no mention of this anywhere on their web-site). An e-mail containing suitable references from the SoGA and an offer of accepting a partial refund for the fault (one of the remedies the act provides for) and they've totally changed their tune.

Skizz

James Martin apologises for cyclist outrage

Skizz

I'm a lycra-clad cyclist and proud of it.

But I do get annoyed by the minority that act irresponsibly, which, luckily, there are few of where I live. Why lycra? It's comfortable, doesn't weigh you down when it rains and dries quickly when it stops raining (which, in the UK, is really useful) and is brightly coloured.

As for the Vehicle Excise Duty argument, car drivers have a far bigger issues than cyclists not paying. From the last budget report:

Expenditure on transport: £13.7bn (that's all transport)

Income from VED: £6.1bn

Income from Fuel Duty: £25.7bn

So, road users appear to paying out more in taxes and duties than is spent on the roads. Your payments are being spent on non-transport sectors (people claiming benefits, MPs' expenses, etc) and other transport methods (buses, trains, airports, shipping).

Skizz

Disclaimer: There is a chance I've misinterpretted the budget report (it is a tedious, long document) and the figures may be incorrect.

Skizz
FAIL

Fauxpology

Another fine example of a fauxpology. God I hate them. He's not apologising for writing drivel and annoying cyclists in general (those kind of comments will put people off cycling). He's apologising for the offense people get from reading it, like it's our fault and not his!

Skizz

Philips waves farewell to point-and-press remote controls

Skizz
FAIL

You can tell...

...this idea has been led by marketing, they've used an olive-skinned curly haired woman to demonstrate it because 'it relates the the widest possible demographic'. In reality, think 'Royale Family'*. You can imagine the thought process. Marketing chimp buys a Wii, thinks, hey, this is cool, you could wave something like it change channels on the TV. Of course, the big problem is that I use my V+ box to select the channel to watch, I hardly ever use the TV remote.

I wonder what guestures they'll have:

Increase/decrease volume - point at ear and flick up/down

Find porn channels - wave control up and down vigoursly

'Oh my God, it's Jamie Oliver, quick change the channel' - throw control at screen

Skizz

* It would be much better to have a Jim Royale character on a sofa with the slogan: "fat slobs need exercise, get a 0.5kg remote to workout those arm muscles"

MP asks UK.gov: Why are you still using IE6?

Skizz

@Greg J Preece

"why aren't they upgrading to IE8"

You're not thinking like a civil servant:

"Why do it once when you can do it twice for twice the price"

Jammie Thomas calls for file-sharing trial #3

Skizz
FAIL

Oh dear.

@ Ian 45: Technically, she's not a thief, just someone infringing copyright. Theft implies the original owner no longer has the item in question (like a CD from a record shop).

The whole copyright of music is crazy beyond imagination. For example, CDs usually contain in the small print a clause to prevent public performance, so I technically broke the copyright by using the track in a pass-the-parcel game at my son's birthday party. Copying it to my iPod is an infringement I believe.

These fines are designed to deter people from running their own CD pressing facility churning out counterfeits.

As for the 'incalculable damage' claim - if they were to actually try to work out the damage, they would have to admit, in a court of law, that a proportion of the shared files led to legitimate purchases, a proportion would have been listened to once and then discarded and the copier would never have bought the item anyway and only a small amount would be regularly listened to. Which of course they would never do.

This fine is just crazy on so many levels. As James O'Brien suggested, the artists probably won't see any of the fine since the copyright is held by recording company. So, the big companies screw two groups at the same time - artists and consumers.

Skizz

Hydrogen-powered two-seater car unveiled

Skizz
Unhappy

To make Hydrogen really work...

...needs lots of pollution free electricity, which solar, wind, wave and other green methods just won't be able to produce enough of. If only governments had the balls to think really long term and invest heavily in something like fusion (plentiful supply of fuel, easy to mange waste, zero greenhouse gases) rather than trendy, headline grabbing short term solutions.

Skizz

Downing Street on Phorm: 'Meh'

Skizz
Thumb Down

Hypocrites!

"The Government is committed to ensuring that people's privacy is fully protected."

That would be same government that's trying to stuff an ID card and national ID database down our throats.

Politicians - we should round them all up and nuke them from orbit, just to be sure!

Pudsey Bear refused UK passport

Skizz

When will people learn...

Identity does not equal identification. Mrs Bear's identity did not change, she is who she is and her name doesn't change that. Her identification did, we now call her Mrs Bear.

That what really grates me. My identity is more than just my name and my fingerprint. It's who I know, what I think, what I do and so on.

Skizz

MPs to probe ISP snooping and throttling

Skizz

How to convince people that DPI is bad...

Imagine if the Royal Mail opened and read all your correspondance and then inserted 'relevant' advertisements and then delivered it to you.

Also, the whole anonymous thing is bollocks. I mean, how can they serve up ads based on browsing habits without keeping a track of what I do - there must be an IP / browsing habit correlation and it doesn't take a genius to find out where an IP address is mapped to (just threaten the ISP with legal action).

Also, to inspect the packets, the data must be stored locally. What if the data is an obscene image? Would Phorm be liable to prosecution?

Skizz

Bucks village repels Street View spycar

Skizz

Shooting at planes...

So, will the good citizens of Broughton be shooting down Microsoft's bird's eye view camera planes: http://www.multimap.com/maps/?qs=Broughton+&countryCode=GB#map=52.05045,-0.69378|20|256&be=22145255|North&bd=useful_information&loc=GB:52.05036:-0.69336:14|Broughton%20|Broughton,%20Milton%20Keynes,%20Buckinghamshire,%20England,%20MK10%209. I think this is far worse than street view as it shows the back gardens which are usually obscured from public view.

I wonder which house is Mr Jacobs?

Skizz

Man turns finger into storage

Skizz
Paris Hilton

For God's sake...

don't let Kevin "I'm a cyborg media tart" Warwick see this.

Paris - well, fingers, Paris, need I say more?

Court rules airline secret security list is stupid

Skizz
Paris Hilton

Raspberries

Surely, the racquets could be used to propel grenades further down the plane, or if there's no grenade to hand, the more dangerous airline chicken tikka masala.

Paris - because she doesn't keep it secret!

First 'fully accurate' totally voice-controlled phone unveiled

Skizz
Stop

Something fishy...

There's footage of people hand soldering components - considering the size of the device and earpiece I doubt it was made in that factory. Looks like a plastic mock-up to me.

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