* Posts by Ken Darling

63 publicly visible posts • joined 7 Aug 2008


That sub-$100 Android slab you got on Black Friday? RIDDLED with holes, say infosec bods

Ken Darling


We use pounds in this country. We're not part of the USA, yet, thank fuckery.

Trousers down for six of the best affordable Androids

Ken Darling

Re: The LTE version isn't a Mk II

Not all the handsets can be unlocked. There are whole swathes of IMEI numbers for which no unlock code is available.

Windows Phone will snatch biz No 2 spot from Android – analyst

Ken Darling

I doubt you have...

Have you tried Office 365 on all devices for yourself, or are you trotting out statements you've read elsewhere?

Bloody lazy commentards.

[Downvote button below]

PHONDLESLAB-ULOUS: Motorola Moto X Android phablet

Ken Darling

Re: Camera Quality?

Except you didn't read what I'd written, did you? You 'conveniently' missed mention of the original Moto X also shipping with a sub-par camera.

People such as you only embarrass yourselves with your 'selective hearing', or to respond to a comment without resorting to infantile name calling.

And to think, you might make it to adulthood and reproduce. ;-)

Ken Darling

Camera Quality?

Moto X, Moto G, Moto G 4G, Moto G 2nd Gen, all shipped with cameras that are surpassed in quality by my 12 year old 2MP fixed focus Fujifilm digital camera.

The quality is seriously shit. Low resolution, needless aggressive noise reduction, inability to focus on the chosen subject... And Motorola knows it: https://forums.motorola.com/posts/e2f2722bfc

If the camera feature is of mild use to you, you're better off elsewhere. Of course, if you're never going to use the camera, then Moto phones are great value for money.

I'M SO SORRY, sobs Rosetta Brit boffin in 'sexist' sexy shirt storm

Ken Darling

Re: Sad, y'know?

What's to stop feminists wearing shirts depicting half naked men?

They really do have a bee in their bonnets, don't they.

Jony Ive: Apple isn't here to make money. And students shouldn't use computers so much

Ken Darling

Up his own arse...

Oh, but what a beautifully crafted arse it is.

Samsung launches 'perfect pair' of skinny mid-range phones

Ken Darling

Same old boring Galaxy design

Come on Samsung, give your phones a face-lift! The design of the Galaxy range is stale,boring, and overwhelmingly plastic. Even Microsoft's Lumia range make plastic look a little more interesting with it's odd mix of rounded and angled corners and retina-damaging bright colours.

And PLEASE do something with TouchWiz. I don't want to hear the sound of a turd plopping into the bowl everything I press a button.

Amazon sells Fire Phone in UK ... on CONTRACT

Ken Darling

In what sense is this 'News'?

Been on display in my local O2 store for three weeks.

Note to RegEd: man has landed on the moon, the Queen has celebrated her Golden Jubilee, Channel Five has launched, The News of the World has closed down, you are an arse.

Happy 2nd birthday, Windows 8 and Surface: Anatomy of a disaster

Ken Darling

Re: Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory...

The fact that Linux isn't as mainstream as Windows has a lot more to do with the fact that the average punter buys a computer and it comes with Windows on it...

No, the reason it isn't as mainstream is that it's a darn sight harder to use.

Last time I tried Linux and attempted to install Firefox I first had to find an installer for the distribution I was using. Then I had to decide from a swathe of nonsensical file types, gar, tar, bar har-de-har-har (with no explanation of what they meant or do). Finally I had to go through the rigmorole of 'unpacking' them, and typing a load of cryptic command to try try to complete the install.

I know this will be downvoted by those too blind to see that if Linux is to succeed in making it to the desktop of Joe Average, it will have to get a lot friendlier. We are used to double clicking a file to install it, so don't make us jump through hoops. EXPLAIN things, don't keep it a closed shop for those who laugh through their noses.

I would drop Windows at the drop of a hat if Linux was more accessible to the uninitiated.

Man, that iPhone 6 Plus won't fit in my pocket. Oh, here's a mobe store that'll resize my jeans

Ken Darling

Re: ...adjust customers' trousers* to fit the large handset

Yes, it's a UK site, but the Register has neither quality control, an editor, nor any real idea what technology is.

Why on earth has it started reviewing television programmes?

Ken Darling

Pants Pocket?

Do people really keep iPhones in their pants? I supposed those who use iVibrate might.

Personally, iKeep myPhone in myTrousers.

Radiohead(ache): BBC wants dead duck tech in sexy new mobes

Ken Darling


What a terrible idea.

Manufacturers aren't going to put a DAB chip in phones for just the UK market. Why on earth would they? We want lower handset cost with longer lasting batteries, not aged technologies that will cause handset prices to increase and batteries to be bled dry within an hour.

Apple's iPhone bonk to 'Pay' app launches on Monday

Ken Darling

"Apple is likely to face a tough job reassuring punters that their credit card details are safe."

Seeing as many Apple fanbois don't think Apple can do no wrong, I doubt that statement is true. Apple won't seek to reassure anyone. It will just work.

Britain’s snooping powers are 'too weak', says NCA chief

Ken Darling

Sounds like the ID Card sophestry again

Tony Blair and his acolytes claimed ID cards would keep us safe from terrorists, yet failed to explain how. All an ID card allows you to do is identify the perpetrators AFTER the event.

In a similar way, unless the CONTENT of our communications is records, rather than just the metadata, then there is no chance of protecting anyone from anything. The arguments put forth - paeophiles, terrorists, ne'er-do-wells - is pure sophistry.

I don't NEED a mobile phone, I don't NEED email. Try to take my data, and you will end up with nothing. There is an off-switch. I will use it.

Nokia Lumia 735: Ignore the selfie hype, it's a grown-up phone

Ken Darling

Re: No thanks

"I've never seen or used a windoze phone but I know they are rubbish and won't be buying one. Thanks."

I've never met you, but I know you are an arsehole and I won't be making your acquaintance. Ladies and gentlemen, I thank you.

EU probes Google’s Android omerta again: Talk now, or else

Ken Darling

Re: Rings familiar...

"Internet Explorer bundled with Windows"

MS also inextricably tied IE in with the OS so that it couldn't truly be uninstalled without catastrophic results.

All of Googles services can be removed - plenty of custom ROMs don't bundle them - though, granted, you may need a rooted device.

Microsoft on the Threshold of a new name for Windows next week

Ken Darling

QA: Questionable Abbeviations

Windows NT - New Technology

Windows XP - eXPerience

Windows RT - Runtime

I suggest Windows AWE for the next version. AWE - Arse WipE

Le whoops! Microsoft France boss blows lid off 'Windows 9' event

Ken Darling

Re: Time flies

You don't know what you're missing... Some car crashes just have to be seen to be believed.

Google+ GOING, GOING ... ? Newbie Gmailers no longer forced into mandatory ID slurp

Ken Darling


Google+. Google PLUS. What are the 'Plus' features offered to users of Gmail? Are there added features to the search function when you sign up to Google+?

No, there is no added value.

Now, Google+ gave us privacy from Google, that WOULD be worth signing up for.

Microsoft's axeman Nadella fills baskets with 2,100 fresh heads

Ken Darling

Re: Nadella fills baskets with 2,100 fresh heads ?

So, we're not allowed to speak in metaphor any longer, just because of some crackpot extremists?

That means I can't call you an arsehole.

Speaking in Tech: 'I'm an Apple guy and I COULD CARE LESS about the iWatch'

Ken Darling

Think about what your saying

"I could care less" - there is still room for you to care less about something. In other words, you do care about it.

Huawei ditches new Windows Phone mobe plans, blames poor sales

Ken Darling

An announcement...

doesn't mean those phones will make it to market.

I proudly announce myself to be the President of the United Kingdom of England, Wales, and Northern Ireland.

Doesn't mean a thing.

Drag queens: Oh, don't be so bitchy, Facebook! Let us use our stage names

Ken Darling


Many celebrities' real name is different from their stage name. Are they supposed to use their real name, too (if any of them are on Facebook).

Maurice Micklewhite, Georgios Panayiotou, Caryn Johnson, Peter Hernandez, Ilyena Mironov, to name but a handful.

Or is it a case of one rule for them...

(Not a user of Facebook myself, so I have no idea if 'celebrities' use this medium.)

BBC Trust candidate defends licence fee, says evaders are CRIMINALS

Ken Darling

Re: BBC content is no longer worth the Licence Fee.

Couldn't agree more. Gave up my license / television viewing when the BBC decided the Commonwealth Games opening ceremony was new and simultaneously broadcast it on BBC1 (sorry BBC One) and BBC News.

And quite honestly I haven't really missed it at all. Nor has the rest of the family.

It turns out we were watching out of habit rather than because there were outstanding programmes worth watching. Yes, we've watched iPlayer a couple of times - Dr Who and Great British Bake Off - but, just like normal television, we wouldn't miss it if we couldn't watch it... Indeed, the DVD player's implementation of iPlayer will be decommissioned at the end of the month, so I suspect the television's version will die shortly afterwards. No great loss.

Amazon Prime Video will give us more choice and better choice at half the cost.

This is the digital age; time the BBC introduced digital viewing cards. No pay, no view. I'd support that for iPlayer, too.

Apple's big bang: iPhone 6, ANOTHER iPhone 6 Plus and WATCH OUT

Ken Darling

And the most revolutionary announcement was...

.... dropping the 'i' from the iWatch.

Even better than the iThing: Apple's Cook is strictly pro Bono

Ken Darling


Total iCock.

iBored before it's even iBegun.

Nokia Lumia 530: A Windows Phone... for under £50

Ken Darling

A whiff of....

...Eau D'esperation.

Yes, I can definitely detect that odour in the air, wafting on the autumn breeze. Not a pleasant bouquet at all.

Don't bother with Apple's 9 Sept hype-day: Someone's GONE AND BLABBED IT ALL

Ken Darling

Re: Biting on the Apple

"Can anyone with a 3 year old Android phone say the same?"

Yes, my Samsung Galaxy Ace (bought in 2011) is running perfectly, despite its lowly processor and meager RAM. It runs smoothly, and all the apps I need run without hesitation, even the SatNav.

Superb piece of kit.

It will even run Android 4.4.4without too much trouble, though I tend to stick with 2.3.6.

TROLL SLAYER Google grabs $1.3 MEEELLION in patent counter-suit

Ken Darling

Re: Legal term?

Not 'oops' at all.

I do not profess to make a living from journalism.

Nor do I have an editor whose job it is to ensure that that copy is correct - grammatically and factually.

Pay me, and I will ensure my writing is unambiguous, grammatically correct, and fully fact-checked.

Ken Darling

Re: Legal term?

Oh, Keef, you must be new here. This bastion of IT news reporting is rife with poorly written copy. From missing prepositions, to typos create neologisms, to statements that are false and clearly copied from an unchecked source, you'll fnd it all here on The Register.

And it is never corrected by the editor / copy editor.

This place is more like a forum where "wannabee" journos post their reports in the hope that they will be talent-spotted . That's the only reason I visit here. It's certainly not for for the IT 'news'.

EE plonks 4G in UK Prime Minister's backyard

Ken Darling

But it stilll won't...

...give speedy resolutions to customer complaints.

6 Obvious Reasons Why Facebook Will Ban This Article (Thank God)

Ken Darling


I already got rid of whatever clickbait used to be on the left hand side of MORE FROM THE REGISTER

Thanks for reminding me I have AdBlockPlus installed. I turned it off to see what you mean, and sheesh! there's more advertising than editorial, just like in Computer Shopper!

ABP switched back on. Small adverts I will tolerate, and even read; huge great monstrous animation turn me off. Too Windows Phone for my liking.

True fact: 1 in 4 Brits are now TERRORISTS

Ken Darling

It does no such thing

shows a man with a London accent appearing to behead journalist James Foley.

Have you seen the video or are you just repeating what other lazy journalist are stating? From what I understand, the video fades out so any 'beheading' is not shown.

Although there is no doubt that the beheading DID take place, it is NOT shown in the video.

Claim: Microsoft Alt-F4'd Chilean government open-source install bid

Ken Darling

MS, as a company, should never be trusted by anyone, ever, in any circumstance for any reason.

Just one reason why I won't buy a Windows phone.

Other reasons are the words Microsoft and Windows which are synonymous with the phrase Malware Magnet.

Microsoft refuses to nip 'Windows 9' unzip lip slip

Ken Darling

Re: WIndows 8, SP2?

it's clear that Microsoft got the interface right for the next generation of users

All the next generation users I know are predominantly using Android devices, with a few using iOS. I know of none who are using Windows 8.x.

The wife, on the other hand - a current generation user - does have a Win8 laptop, with Classic Shell installed, but uses the touch features only to scroll up and down pages, and nothing more.

Déjà vu: Virgin Media jacks up broadband prices

Ken Darling

Re: I'm not surprised they are increasing their prices

BIn them? No. I just write 'Return to Sender' on the envelope and pop them back in the post.

Let the Post Office who delivered this junk to me sort it out. Eventually one or the other of them will get the message.

Regarding the pricing: Phone line with PlusNet - £10 a month, including evening and weekend calls; Broadband with PlusNet - £2.99 a month. If I want fibre broadband, over the course of 18 months, PlusNet will give it to me for £11.24 a month. So £21.23 a month all in. Cheaper than Virgin and better customer service (from my experience. YMMV.

Microsoft: We plan to CLEAN UP this here Windows Store town

Ken Darling

Re: History repeats itself...

"Of course, if WP starts gaining decent traction, I'd be willing to bet good money that someone will find a hack and we'll start seeing stuff a lot worse than fake apps for a price."

Regardless of whether it gains good traction we'll see stuff a lot worse. After all, you only need to write that scam program once and it will run on all three flavours of Windows 8.1.

Write once, run (amok) everywhere.

Great thinking, Microsoft.

Ken Darling

History repeats itself...

Windows attracts malware like sh*t attracts Apple fanbois. It's always been that way, and always will be. When will Microsoft learn?


Is it an iPad? Is it a MacBook Air? No, it's a Surface Pro 3

Ken Darling

All things to everyone...

...Nothing to no-one, if you'll excuse the double negative.

Just what is the surface? A tablet, a laptop, a netbook? What. I haven't a clue. It seems to me that Microsoft doesn't know, either. They've created the computing equivalent of a Transformer, but without the appeal.

To quote Slade:

"See the chameleon

Lying there in the sun

All things to everyone

Run Run Away!"

Kate Bush: Don't make me HAVE CONTACT with your iPHONE

Ken Darling

Dear Audience...

"The moment I see a phone, tablet, camera raised in the air, the concert ends.

"Thank you

"I still dream of Organon..."

Nice and simple.

YES YES YES! Apple patents mousy, pressure-sensing iVibrator

Ken Darling

Re: Haptic vibrations

"Haptic refers to a feedback, i.e. output, mechanism."

You know that, I know that. But this is The Register the 'journalists' for whom really don't understand tech, let alone how to write English.

Pop-up ad man: SORRY we made such a 'hated tool', netizens

Ken Darling

Re: Karma remains balanced

"Someone else invented AdBlock."

And someone else invented the AdBlock detector so pages won't display unless it is disabled.

4oD is just one example (not that there's anything worth watching on C4, or any televsion channel these days.)

Japanese boffins invent 4.4 TREEELLION frames per second camera

Ken Darling

Re: What's a billion?

I recall Gordon Brown giving a speech in Parliament, and very carefully stating "One Thousand Million...." It might have been pounds (£). Can't recall what context it was in; maybe during a Budget speech.

He certainly didn't refer to it as a Billion.

Apple, Intel, Google told to stop being tightwads and pay out MORE in wage-fix settlement

Ken Darling

Lucy Koh Crusoe

I always thought it was Robinson Crusoe who 'ruled' Friday.

Turns out it was Lucy Koh.

Microsoft blasts sueball at Samsung over Android patent royalties

Ken Darling

Re: I'll get the popcorn

"Who's of thought"

Who'd HAVE thought. There's no verb 'to of'.

Microsoft: The MORE Surfaces it sells, the MORE money it loses

Ken Darling

What on Earth is...

... Microsoft Thursday? How often does Microsoft Thursday come around? Weekly, monthly, once in a blue moon?

Perhaps Microsoft Thursday is the new name for Patch Tuesday.

Microsoft mocks Apple and new iPhones in vids it quickly pulls

Ken Darling

Interview? An Hilarious....

Who wrote this article? Whoever it was is needs to go bad to school to learn simple English. And the editor/copy editor should seriously reconsider his/her position.

1. Those two people were pitching an idea to DIFFERENT honchos (there was more than one). There was no interview.

2. 'Hilarious' does not have a silent H, so it's 'a hilarious'.

Headmaster calls cops, tries to dash pupil's uni dreams - over a BLOG

Ken Darling

"nothing I had done was illegal...

"... so why such severe action?"

Indeed. And nothing the headteacher did was illegal, so why the tantrum. You have to learn that your actions have consequences.

It's clear you are too immature to realise that.

IP telly upstart stuffs Comedy Central, MTV in Freeview box

Ken Darling

When is a compatible Freeview HD TV not compatible...?

When it's a Sony Bravia. Bought mine as it was advertised as Freeview HD compatible. Yes, it receives the HD channels, and very nice they look too, but it doesn't do IPTV and that great Sony support doesn't extend to releasing a decent firmware update.

Shame, as some of those channels are one's I'd be interested in.