Posts by Thomas Baker

Police poison speed debate with fuzzy figures

Residential streets.

The thing for me that makes speed cameras a load of old haddock is that there aren't ANY on normal residential streets, you know the ones, where your kids live, old people, pets, normal people, etc. Every street I've ever lived in, people hoon up and down them, often past small schools and day-care centres, not a speed camera in sight. The little street where I work, people ping up there at 40 and 50 all de day long.

but of course, get out onto a country road where there's feck-all danger of hitting anything other than a rabbit, (A34 anyone?), and all of a sudden it's imperative you do 30 or you're nicked me' old beauty. It's utter balls. It's not about safety, it absolutely can't be when you look at their choice of placement and distribution in any given town. Follow the money...

So here's a question, if you can prove that you were somewhere else when the camera got your plate, (i.e. you're claiming someone must have cloned yours), do you get away with it? If so, let's start up www.speedingalibi.com whereby lots of people in the UK register and stand testimony once a year for some random other dude somewhere else in the country saying something like: "Mr Davies? Speeding in Renfrewshire on Saturday? Couldn't have been, he was with me watching the cricket!" Or somesuch. Or go one further and use CCTV in your home, at your work, shop, blah on any given day, change the date (which is often configurable), hey presto, alibi!

Failing that, how about clear but smokey stickers that go over the lenses of the cameras. They'd take a sec to put in place, be unnoticeable until used and would fuck up any image making them useless. I've often thought about this, do your community a service and get a broom-stick with a little sucker on the end of it, get a clear but foggy sticker of roughly the same proportions as the camera lens and as you walk past the camera, quickly splodge it on. Job jobbed. I'll do my local ones if you want and you do yours. Come on chaps, Battle of Britain Spirit and all that!

Sarko demands withdrawal of voodoo doll

Ah Sarah Bee.

Your writing gives me stiffness:

"Preposterous presidential playboy Nicolas Sarkozy is not amused by a voodoo doll of himself for sale in French bookshops, and has demanded the pernicious pin-based product is pulled from the shelves, er, post-haste."

Musical aliteration, absolutely musical.

Keep up the killer articles; love 'em. If only more journos could dish out a bit of well-worded ridicule like this more often. That's why I read The Reg, sterling stuff. Cheers.

Watchdog snarls at Commando Krav Maga

Because the Israeli army...

...have started many wars, have conquered many enemies, have defeated many heavily-armed, hugely outnumbering foes...oh wait a minute, no, no they haven't. Oh well. I'd rather learn a system of martial arts from Switzerland, at least they've been *close* to a proper war, with only a toy knife to protect them instead of 500 gigabazillion dollars' worth of free army, navy and air force gear from America. My Mum could kick anyone's arse with that kind of arsenal. It's easy being tough when some giant super-power's got your back.

Did you hear about the botanist who placed a Moss Ad?

I'll get me' coat...

Aaaaannnnd *cue* death threats.

VbyV password reset is childishly simple

I like this comment:

"We're at the early stages of this system so we need something that allows people to re-register easily. As people get more used to it customer authentication can be ramped up. Some banks are already introducing two-factor authentication for online transactions."

Imagine a car manufacturer saying:

"We're at the early stages of this car so we need something that allows people to drive it easily. As people get more used to it we'll add stuff like brakes, lights, seatbelts, bumpers, crumple zones, etc later..."

The rest of us out here in techie land have to get things right first time, we go through iterative testing, and beta and all that crap; we define a final goal and work towards that goal and don't release a product or a method until that goal has been achieved.

They're saying, "In the early days, thousands of people could be ripped off, but we'll make it more secure later, honest..."

What, using the same idiot-minds you're using now? What will it be, another layer of duct tape over the existing layer of duct tape?

Oh for a government that had any kind of corporate responsibility agenda in its back pocket.

Balls.

Prof: 'Taser-proof vests put cops in danger'

Mothers.

That was my idea! I was going to call it Mithril after the LOTR vesticle thingie. I was thinking more along the lines of copper thread in a fine mesh woven into a cotton garment or whatever. I was also thinking more of protecting the public from those loonies who call themselves the police these days. You'd sell millions of 'em.

I also looked forward to all the youtube videos of some dude saying "Don't taze me bro'" and the police tazing said dude, only for said dude to stand there laughing at 'em. Mind you, then they'd just gun him down where he stood so meh.

I also thought about how you could stand there and say, "Human evolution has taken a step forward, and I'm it - you can taze me if you want but I'm impervious." And then watch the police stare in horror as their electric toy gun did you no harm whatsoever, which of course would give you vital time to kick 'em in the nadgers and scarper.

But of course, these bastards have stolen my idea, typical.

This icon will be my trademark for Mithril but don't ask me why...

UK.gov says: Regulate the internet

I remember when...

I was 12 when I found my first grumble mag discarded in some nearby woods. Not only did my kidneys not explode, neither was I mentally disturbed, corrupted or in any other way harmed - it nudged me towards the path of true happiness and enlightenment.

pr0n - for the life you've not yet had™

As for the anonymous coward way up the page who wrote:

"My son even submits some of his homework by email, never mind doing all the research online."

That's what was known ten years ago as cheating. Homework = cut&paste - done in five minutes and straight onto WoW, sweet - "research"...(cough).

Also, when he's doing his "research" can you hear what can only be described as a "smacking" noise as if a very slobbery dog was shaking his chops side-to-side in slow motion? And five minutes later do you hear the fan in the toilet come on? Followed by the sound of the toilet roll holder squeaking?

Have you done your homework son? Grin...

Hoon: Not building überdatabase would be terrorist licence to kill

Sorry if someone's suggested this already...

As we've got Whacky-Jacqui, can we have Loony Hoons as well?

I was thinking we need another icon using this picture here:

http://images.scotsman.com/2003/01/07/0701hoonb.jpg

And this one as a guide:

http://www.dan-dare.org/FreeFun/Images/CartoonsMoviesTV/LooneyTunesWallpaper800.jpg

And this font here:

http://www.typenow.net/themed.htm ---- Font No. 80 - Looney Tunes

I'm miserably un-talented with Photoshop can someone do the honours?

In fact, why not put the whole cabinet in?

And if it's not done by morning, I'll chop your balls off!

Wacky Jacqui's yoof ID site goes silent

How about: "We'll publish the results later"

The Home Office sent us the following statement: "Key findings will be published once all the data has been analysed. The written research findings will be published on the IPS website. This qualitative report will explain the range of views expressed on the site, the structure of those views, and will illustrate what underpins the hopes and fears expressed by the participants."®

God help us all.

Or, in case you want to put your trust in something real, find out how guns and bullets are made and get out there in your garage, 'cause pretty soon you're gonna need 'em if this lot aren't ousted. And don't think Cameron will be any different or do any repealing of laws or regressing of powers, 'cause he won't. He ain't even promising to.

If one politician stood up tomorrow and said I'll run for Prime Minister and we'll pretend 9/11 never happened and just get on with life as we were doing in 2001 pre-Bush, and I'll stop all this made up terrorist nonsense and surveillance bullshit, and take down all the speed cameres apart from the ones distinctly absent from outside most schools??, etc. What's that you hear? 60,000,000 people rushing to the poll booths chanting "Please get us out of this madness!!!!"

I like the lewinsky: Whacky Jacqui - very good. I think we need a campaign similar to that of the Turnip Head photo of Graham Taylor. Whacky Jacqui, eyes bulging, spliff hanging out of her mouth, in a Nazi get up for preference, spewing incoherent gibberish. I'll have to knock something up and stick it on youtube.

And we definitely need a Whacky Jacqui icon so that we can attach it to any half-baked, loony comment, (like this one), in the future.

Hmm, after a quick google image search...

Jesus Christ! I've shat things prettier than that!

Is it just me or does anyone else think that at least one of Jacqui Smith's parents must have been a potato?

http://www.independent.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00025/Jacqui-Smith_25769t.jpg

Das überdatabase: Inside Wacky Jacqui's motherbrain

A fiendish idea

Could be fiendish, could be not-thought-through-because-I'm-an-idiot but...

What if everyone, as a signature on every email they send, everywhere around the world, puts in any sub-set of a generic block of words like: Kill Bush, C4, Assasinate Jacqui Smith, plot, Parliament, Death to Disney!, pr0n - (whoops, sorry, how did that get in there?), etc, including loads of words in arabic and pashtu and what have you, lots of "Allah will grant us victory over the decadent donkeys of the West", blah. If someone could cobble together a huge long list of words likely to get GCHQ's attention and then we all use a decent smattering of them in every email we send, all de day long, every damn day.

As we're all being treated like criminals anyway, may as well act like them right?

And try sifting through that flood ye fokkers!

Jacqui Smith resurrects 42-days after Lords rejection

Hmm, seems pretty clear.

All those in favour say aye: ... . ... .. .. sound of tumble weed scritch-scratching across the car-park.

All those against say nay: 60,000,000 voices sing out in unison - NAY!!!!

Heard that Jacqui? Want me to turn it up? You tit.

DarkMarket carder forum revealed as FBI sting

A few have beaten me to the punch.

Entrapment. The site by its very existence is entrapment due to the fact that it provides a marketplace and a forum for people to exchange ideas and merchandise. You could argue that someone with access to sensitive data, credit cards, etc - or - a hacker/programmer who was thinking about getting into it - would reasonably argue: "What's the point?" - "There's no market" - "Where would I sell the information I gathered?" - "How would I learn better ways of doing it?"

This site has not only facilitated the dissemination of information that could help someone commit a crime but has also provided a market-place they could use to sell that information. Remember the laws of supply and demand?

No fence/method of getting rid of stolen property = no point in stealing anything.

No resource for sharing/swapping techniques = no-one gets more clued up than when they started.

Entrapment is any crime that might not have taken place without a deliberate act by the police to mitigate that crime. You can't catch someone doing something on a site that perhaps they wouldn't have been doing had that site not existed.

Icon just 'cause it's still wigging me out...

Black widows: Coming soon to a kitchen sink near you

Tip

Keep thick, stiff gardening/ranch-hand style gloves in a safe place. Whenever you go anywhere you think there might be spiders, put 'em on. In the garage, garden, dusty cupboards, loft/attic, underneath anything that hasn't moved in a while - i.e. the missus. That way if you encounter anything, it can't hurt you and you can just squash it with your fingers or retreat and get the shotgun out. Snipe-nose pliers work well for black widows too, watch that fat black body burst!

Advice not applicable to retards.

Penguin because clearly not enough birds eat spiders... I mean c'mon, they're just hanging there more often than not, it's like lunch on a line, get on with it.

PayPal top-up card is titsup

I think...

...that Google should start up an online auction site with associated payment mechanism. It would clean up. eBay and Paypal have taken the piss for too long. Time for some competition. Perhaps craigslist to invest in more UK-centric advertising/presence?

Tombstone as I hope eBay dies for the way it treats users, and thus PayPal likewise.

Vista scrabbles for X Factor

@Paul Murphy.

Nice use of the word "crapperer". So perfect for this thread. I call Vista - Fista, as that's what it does to you. You get nothing extra that actually you want over XP, loads of shit you don't want though and all the memory-suck that goes with it, oh but you do lose an awful lot of functionality and features to boot.

This would be my winning slogan:

Microsoft Windows Fista - It's Just Crapperer.

US woman shot by cast iron stove

Ovens - Contents, etc.

That's not the most frightening thing to ever come out of an oven though, my wife's cooking is lethal! Shallow wound to the calf!? Try lasagne to the oesophagus! Lightweight Americans, I don't know...

WTF is this icon supposed to be? Reminds me of Koolaid, ET and Morse Code.

Serial troll bitchslaps Reg hack

The word was invented for this moment:

Twaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.

This page has been intentionally left blank

Somebody actually said that in today's world?

Indeed, so impressive is the makeover that one interior design analyst was moved to comment: "Hi I'm famous because I had sex on camera with some no-talented hack. With two wars and a financial crisis who gives a shit about Kim whatever's bedroom. You people are pathetic she's a wh0re. Kim do something that involves talent. Or play in traffic. Either one is good." ®

Sweet. Whoever that is, give them a payrise and have them write in as many papers as possible.

Indian Moon mission is go for 22 October

@Andrew Moore

A perfect comment. And of course the BBC don't take a pop at America for this and other profligacy. It's funny how we measure the whole third world/developed country thing. The people on the ground have one version and the politicians/corporations have another, as always. I worked for a homeless shelter in San Francisco for a number of years and also for the SF Aids foundation and yeah, I'm sure they appreciated NASA's spending/budget...cough.

In a country where education is an option and even if you take it, it's laughable. Water's not safe to drink in a number of small towns. Electricity and road networks are missing or infantile in a number of places too. A large number of people below the poverty line, three-quarters or the population still stuck in the dark ages, happily boarding a plane one minute and then extolling the virtues of Creationism/decrying the scientific method and doctrine the next, without a hint of irony. Am I talking about India or America? America of course.

Anyway, whatever...

If India are trying to acheive something then fair play to 'em and the BBC (Britain's answer to Fox News) can go take a long walk off a short pier; they are irrelevant as a news source.

Cold War comfort on software engineering’s birthday

Coo, what an interesting article.

Thanks - I enjoyed that.

Fish snapped snacking at 4,200 fathoms

1,600 elephants on the roof of a mini?

That's no so much. Mini's are quite strong you know. I once tried to get my starter motor off after it'd been caked in shit from the road for 20 years, and would that thing budge? 1,600 elephants or not, some things on a mini are the immovable object. Don't know about the roof though... The fish'd be alright if they were inside listening to the radio I would think though, no? There'd probably be room for them to squidge in the nooks and crannies as the roof caved in. They might die from being out of the water though... Not sure this was all that well thought through.

Got coat, wore coat, flew.

UK.gov and UK.biz pour £60m into IT skills gap

@Simon Painter - you beat me to it.

I think there's approximately a million IT workers out there currently who've answered an ad in the local paper, trying to get into an IT career, and have taken a crash MCSE course and have passed, wouldn't you know, with flying colours. And you give 'em two computers and ask them to lash the two together, share a file and a printer and they look at you gone out. The MCSE is truly one of the most meaningless exams/courses ever...not counting the CCNA of course; you can get that without ever having seen a Cisco router let alone connected to one. Colleges and degrees are no better. Practical, real-world, hands-on, scenario-driven training and practice are what's needed. But no, I'm sure this will be more wandering through the OSI model or some other such useless nonsense. The government getting involved in IT stuff, hmm, that sounds like a recipe for success...

Hadron boffins: Our meddling will not destroy universe

Argh!!

I know it can give you hairy palms and potentially ruin your eyesight, but I didn't realise it could destroy the universe?

Oh, wait a minute, "Hadron boffins" you say? Sorry, I'll get me' full length raincoat.

7-year-old faces M&S Inquisition

But of course the law doesn't protect you...

...when an organisation or the goverment want to abuse it. I've had a great deal of personal information about me spread to whoever was listening by a DWP worker. You write and complain and invoke the Data Protection Act and they either laugh at you, insult you or ignore you, or in my case, all three. The Electoral Roll willingly give out your info to anyone who wants it, in spite of your current girlfriend having been repeatedly threatened and stalked by her ex. If you contact those in charge of enforcing the DPA they too ignore you or fob you off, and if you read their website carefully you see that really they have no power whatsoever. They can't shut someone down, they can't impose fines, they can only suggest and advise that the offending company or government organisation take a look at their internal procedures...yeah right.

I had a car accident where I was a named driver and after weeks of reporting the accident, dealing with the assessor and many many phone calls, it turned sour, as it always does, as the insurance company in question started breaking the law with regards transfer of ownership. So I had a go at them and low and behold, all of a sudden, because of the DPA they couldn't talk to me and had to talk to the policy holder only. Even though they'd told me everything there was to know repeatedly, already.

The DPA is a joke and only stands as another layer of bureaucracy that companies and the government can use to obstruct when it suits them, to get out of facing up to their responsibilites or putting something right, but when the shoe is on the other foot it's an empty, meaningless, unenforceable load of insulting garbage.

Burned by Chrome - Fire put out

The logo/icon thingy for Chrome.

First off, doesn't really say 'Chrome' to me. 'Chrome' makes me think of kitchen taps and the like.

But also, why have they chosen a logo that looks like one of those Simple Simon games from the 80's? Anyone else remember that game? It lights up each colour in a certain sequence with Casiophonic sounds to accompany them and you have to follow the sequence exactly by keying it in on the same plastic buttons. It was lame and wasn't fun even for a few seconds but did sell rather well. I think it was called Simple Simon but I might be wrong. I think it was named after the "Simon Says" game, whereby your local Catholic priest or Scout leader would help you earn a back row place in the choir and thus light duty on the singing/a new badge - by saying "Simon says: Reach for the soap", or whatever. I found it difficult to play by virtue of the fact that I'm not called Simon and felt a tit pretending to be so.

Anyway, crap Google Chrome logo imho.

Government kids database under fire, again

@Revolution - AC

Unfortunately you are dead right. 60% (pick a figure yourself - lots/many/most) of people in Britain are stupid, lazy, ignorant, spoon-fed, moronic fucks and are incapable of doing anything unless a corporation/advertiser or the government tells them to. There will be no revolution in Britain today or ever in the future. As it was once said in America: "George Bush could butt-fuck a 4 year old child on the White House lawn in front of a crowd every day and no-one would stop him. There would be a press conference, the children would be called terrorists or somesuch, and America would dust itself off and carry on as if nothing had happened." This is true of this government and it's people also.

I've emigrated twice but unfortunately circumstances bought me back to this repugnant place both times. Soon I'll be off again and never will I return...never I say!

The best thing you can do if you're in the small minority of Britains who has a brain and is outraged with what's been going on for the last 10 years in this country (probably longer), is to learn one or more foreign languages and get the fuck out of Dodge. You can take language lessons one-on-one online now with teachers 'round the world, for absolutely no money. I pay $8 for 45 minutes with a teacher in Central America via video conferencing on my laptop. Do it, get out and leave this shithole for the idiots who love it. All the "nothing to fear nothing to hide" morons, all the "don't do the crime if you can't do the time" idiots. All the TV watching 'tards and anodyne product-buying plebs. Leave 'em all behind and go live somewhere still relatively free and preferably warmer!

But don't start a revolution and die (get into trouble) trying to save the majority who don't want to be saved and don't want things to change. All they care about is being able watch Eastenders/Corrie or whatever, have a pint, have a curry takeaway and buy a new Ford Bastard every three years. You want to risk your neck for them? Don't bother.

Cloud computing: A catchphrase in puberty

Same people complaining about swearing again and again and again...

Why do you read this website?! Stop coming back if you're offended by swearing - it's not exactly rocket science is it? Either in the articles or in the posts or both, people swear on this website. Got it? Unbelievable. I've said it before, I'll say it again: If you don't like Chinese food, don't move to China.

And so if the greatest writers of our time, or orators or anyone who had something profound to say over the course of some hours, dropped one swear word in, you'd discount the whole thing?

YOU ARE FUCKING IDIOTS THE LOT OF YOU.

Happy to say Country but not Cynt.

Happy to say Foccacia but not Fuck.

Happy to say Flush it,/Push it/Smash it but not Shit.

Utterly pathetic. Go to disney.com and live a happy life but leave the rest of us alone. We do after all, live in a *society*.

Feck.

Dear BBC,

I'd like to complain in the strongest possible terms about the theme-tune to Eastenders. I hate that music yet when I tuned in today, again, at the usual time, as I do every day, I still had to endure that awful song.

Yours, like a hamster, in a cage,

Jonathan Fuckspastic

Clitheroe.

Judge slaps Fasthosts for rubbish kit and support

Can I say something stupid that is neither funny nor ironic?

...and then when I get flamed for being a 'tard and exposed for having said something 'tarded, just make out like I was making a joke and being sarcastic all along...

Is that OK? It seems to work. Just sign in as someone else and make a few comments about trolls, flame symbols, anvils, repeat the word "irony", etc.

Could easily just be one person wiping egg off their face. Might not be...but then again, just might be. I've seen it a few times on The Reg and it seems to follow a pattern.

Ho hum.

McKinnon supporters plan Home Office demo

@David Dimpson

Hacking is not illegal and you're an idiot for saying so. You clearly know absolutely nothing about network security and should just shut your mouth and stop spouting off about shit you're completely ignorant of.

Anti-Kremlin website owner shot dead in police custody

In plain view at least.

Just shot him in the head and dumped him outside a hospital, classy.

It's funny how the Brishit and the Yanks also kill people daily but they're so good at press management that it doesn't even get out. It's always a "heart attack" or yet another unexpected "suicide". It's funny/sad how everyone suddenly jumps on Russia when they do it; how churlish.

Also I can't remember the last time Russia invaded a country and bought about the death of almost a million people, and displaced millions more, leaving them without food, water, electricity, basic medical supplies. Cough...I think a little perspective is needed here.

And, if someone shot pretty much all the journalists in this country, I for one would fucking have a party and send whoever was responsible a six-pack and a slice of cake. Imagine the good it would do! Mind you, the Brishit and American press never ask any awkward questions or really criticise incisively or in the wrong place or in any meaningful way that would bring about change, so they're very unlikely to piss anyone off enough to get shot. Pathetic really.

Springsteen: "And the poets down here don't write nothing at all, they just stand back and let it all be - And in the quick of the night, they wind up wounded, not even dead...tonight...in...Jungleland".

Pirate Bay evades Italian blockade

What I don't understand is...

...remember when Metallica sued Napster for 'theft'. They couldn't accept that their new album sucked the sweat off a dead man's balls and no-one wanted to pay good money for it, but because of previous heritage people were interested enough to have a listen. My point is, you can't equate number of downloaded copies to number of copies that would've been sold, had downloading not been an option. I've lost count of the number of films I've watched that I would never ever have rented, I was just bored and wanted something to do, half the time I only get through ten minutes and think, "this is crap" and turn it off.

If the music and film industry stopped churning out such garbage ad nauseum and looked for talented music/film makers, then maybe people'd want to pay for their products.

For example, if you showed someone a picture of an empty street and said, "Feel like stealing that bike?" - they'd reply - "What bike?" - as there was no bike in the picture. How much of downloading goes on just cause it's there? Just cause it's free? How much of it is discarded as the rubbish it is after barely a listen/view? If they shut the internet tomorrow I wouldn't buy any more CD's or DVD's. I'd go without, as so much of it is shit. Also though, I'd never hear or see anyone's work at all as I don't have a TV and hate the radio and MSM newspapers - thus I'd never be tempted to buy ANYTHING AT ALL. How would they like that?

Having been a musician for many years I reckon you should make your money on gigs and merchandise at shows, online, etc and distribute your music for free electronically; when you're starting out as a struggling muso you'd happily get a play on the radio or give someone a CD for free if only to have them listen and hopefully garner new fans. When/if you become more well known you can make good money from touring - you don't need to be a millionaire, and make some record exec a multi-millionaire. And you'd still sell an amount of paid for downloads or CD's or whatever.

Same question, Mr Cotton's parrot.

Tiffany demands reappraisal of eBay counterfeit decision

Has anyone...

...ever tried to email eBay? About anything? Do you only ever get an auto-response that bears about as much relevance to your questions as would a recipe for poo soup? I've reported a number of items as fake on eBay; guitars, software, etc and they just ignore you. I've been through the loop with them regarding trying to sell one lousy bottle of unwanted perfume for the missus and after a million emails I couldn't get them to answer one of the questions, not even refer to the fact that I've asked a question. It's all: "At eBay we always try and ensure a safe environment to blah blah blah....and...we're sorry that you're not happy with our reply but at eBay we always try and ensure a safe environment...etc"

I believe that there are thousands of users out there who can demonstrably prove that eBay don't list to their users and in particular don't listen to reports of counterfeit goods, and thus do not take appropriate action and therefore are liable for litigation by a brand-holder. Their argument falls apart. Basically they couldn't give a flying-fyck about anyone as long as they sell stuff all day long. They don't care if it's counterfeit because when it sells, they make money.

I'm no supporter of Big Corp or Brand holders at all but also can't stand lying and general bullshit, the likes of which eBay are guilty of thousands of times per day.

I wish that google would get it's finger out and launch an auction site, with fanfare and a huge exodus of users. It'd probably be pretty good 'n all.

May not be a real penguin...

Govt persuades two people to share worst job in IT

Heaven help us...

"Bellamy has been at the Department of Work and Pensions since 2003."

Which means that any system he gets involved with will result in the following situation:

Despite having paid tax and NI for 20 years, and despite having a broken back, and despite being born in England and being about as English as you can get as far back as you can trace and despite your Grandfather having fought in both world wars, with distinction, you won't be entitled to any help on the NHS whatsoever due to a newly thought up and bizarrely interpreted technicality.

Oh wait, that's already the case anyway...forget I posted.

Sun may or may not be about to obliterate Oracle and Microsoft

If you don't like Chinese food...

...then don't move to China.

If you don't like swearing, then never leave the house or go on the internet or turn on any communication device or interact with other people in the world at all, ever. Simple. Then you won't be offended all the time.

This was a great article, made me laugh, was interesting too, well written and not utterly lame, spineless and basically a government/corporate sponsored missive like most journalism. Keep up the good work I say and next time I want my pizza with extra swear words, thanks.

Also, to the puritan-maid brigade, do you realise that every time you and your fellow religionuts search the internet through some kind of sterilizing proxy software that you are in fact invoking an incident of each swear word for every page you seach for? Whoever wrote the software had to type in, or make reference to another typed resource, the words: fuck, c*nt, piss, toffee, horsefuck (kudos), etc. And so each time you access any page your proxy asks: Does this page contain the word 'fuck'? No, OK then, what about 'shit'? OK then, what about 'horsefuck' (kudos)? So you are invoking thousands of utterances of swearwords all de day long my friend. Whoops...you're going to hell boy! If a tree falls in the forest and no-one's there to witness it, does it make a sound? If every swear word you've ever thought of and many you probably haven't are invoked hundreds of times a day by your internet browsing, do they still cause offence?

Are you also a pro-lifer who'd gladly kill a doctor at an abortion clinic?

Also, who the fuck do you think you are, telling other people what they can and can't say and what they can and can't hear? Fuck off and go and live in hole somewhere. I don't tell you how to live your life.

The swearing in this article made it more interesting and more professional in my opinion as it reflects the reality of how frustrating programming can be and the reality that a massive amount of people in the world form certain phonetics into certain words that have been classified by a tiny-minded tiny group of people as swear words, nothing more. What makes them swear words outside of your self-induced offence? There's a reason why it's called 'being offended' or 'taking offence' because it's purely subjective.

Grrr...I wish someone would horsefuck Windows Fista.