* Posts by Anonymous Custard

2288 posts • joined 25 Jul 2008

Tech set responds in wake of American protests, police violence and civil unrest

Anonymous Custard Silver badge

Re: The next step...

As the saying goes, "they who don't know their history are bound to repeat it...".

Sadly that seems rather apt at the moment. We can but hope that sense and decency prevail.

After 30 years of searching, astroboffins finally detect the universe's 'missing matter' – using fast radio bursts

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

What maketh a man?

The computer or device you're using right now to read this is made up of it.

And not inconsequentially, you are made of it as well...

Dude, where's my laser?

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Linux

Re: "it did end up spending a winter at the South Pole."

I guess "penguins with frikkin laser beams..." doesn't quite have the same ring to it somehow

For the price tag, this iPad Pro keyboard better damn well be Magic: It isn't... but it's not completely useless either

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Because ... it’ll just work : Nope

Because it works for a damn long time.

I have almost every generation of Mac Mini filling up one cupboard

The key marketing trick that Apple have achieved is to have the former and yet still have their customers feel the desire to do the latter as well. Given how contradictory the two stances actually are if you stop and think about it, given the generations aren't that far apart.

Runaway Latvian drone found meditating in tree after shutting down nation's skies

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Joke

Re: Great

They got to the root cause of it in the end...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

It's obviously searching for its prey tree.

Once again the well known magnetic attraction between aerial drones and large wooden objects...

Das reboot: That's the only thing to do when the screenshot, er, freezes

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Ever had to resort to words of two syllables or less to get the message through to a user?

In my experience, upper manglement generally require the 2-syllable words to be printed on something like a baseball bat or a length of 2-by-4...

Must be a lack of oxygen up there?

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Funny that

Or the old ctrl+alt+arrow keys to rotate the screen...

Huge if true... Trump explodes as he learns open source could erode China tech ban

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: By Any Other Name

Yeah, I realised that after the edit period had expired.

I blame CIA redaction. Can't be that I can't spell :)

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Joke

By Any Other Name

The "Stealth Anti-Tracing Intelligence Remote Exfiltration" group is just "House Intelligence Liason and Associated Resource Information (Official Security)".

A real loch mess: Navy larks sunk by a truculent torpedo

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Pure 'Carry on ' gold.

*cough* get_iplayer *cough*

Works just as well for radio as for TV...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Kids Toys

Jawohl herr Commandant!

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Pirate

Re: What could have been ...

Keep calm and carry bomb?

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Joke

Re: At least the O-ring wasn't frozen this time...

At some point, someone somewhere will reveal that the name is short for "Oh, no!" rings...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Of course it was going to hit the boat!

If the PARIS flights (and the early LOHAN tests) proved anything, it's the almost magnetic attraction between model planes and wooden objects like fences, posts and trees...

If American tech is used to design or make that chip, you better not ship it to Huawei, warns Uncle Sam

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Also Microsoft

The problem is that all of the fabs and manufacturers (Intel, TSMC etc) use semiconductor manufacturing tools from 3rd party vendors. The largest of those vendors is Applied Materials - a US company.

Trump's declaration is trying to enforce that the makers can't use any of those tools sold by US tool vendors to make chips, even in overseas fabs.

Whether trying to make such restrictions on tools that have been sold and installed and that are the property of the overseas fab is left as an exercise for the lawyers...

If you don't LARP, you'll cry: Armed fun police swoop to disarm knight-errant spotted patrolling Welsh parkland

Anonymous Custard Silver badge

Not to mention some of Tommy Boyd's jumpers on the same show...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: WTF ?!!

Or in layman's terms, a ballistic beanbag in the bollocks...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: "...society's untouchables..."

The computer is your friend, either way...

The Rise of The (Coffee) Machines: I need assistance. I think I'm running Windows. Send help

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: First person

Although it does also lead to the best one I ever saw:

"Rail Replacement.

I'm a train! Choo Choo!"

Images available on t'web via your favourite search engine...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: What a curious picture

Ah so you've tasted the output of these machines when they are working...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Not quite Windows

It's just the WIndows way of trying to emulate and integrate with its common user base, as most of them would simply report "It's broken, so fix it. It's urgent!" or something similarly nondescript and useless.

I guess someone in Redmond took the decision that as users never read, note or report the details of error messages, they're obviously not worth including in them in the first place?

It is unclear why something designed to pump fuel into a car needs an ad-spewing computer strapped to it, but here we are

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Huh?

And how many don't know about the Petrol pump symbol on the fuel gauge which tells you the side the filler cap is on?

From experience of the many hire cars I normally have to endure per year, around 10-20% of motor manufacturers...

It's always fun in such vehicles when you have to fill them before returning them, and you just have to guess when you pull up at the pump unless you've remembered to check first.

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: I hated the pump ads...

@Shadow Systems - oh that all advertising cookies were so desirable...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Caring is sharing...

We offer no "paymant" for borks, other than the warm glow that comes from inclusion in the hallowed halls of The Register and there is always room for more.

But given it's "paymant cared" that's displayed, at least it's nice to know someone cares...

Behold: The ghastly, preening, lesser-spotted Incredible Bullsh*tting Customer

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Joke

Re: Love in a multi-member team

You mean PC doesn't stand for problem creator?

It looks like you want a storage appliance for your data centre. Maybe you'd prefer a smart card reader?

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: That's nowt

Maybe for the one that was "this big" that got away?

Elevating cost-cutting to a whole new level with million-dollar bar bills

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Never saw a car crash into a computer

If I remember correctly, they've been there for a long while, just cunningly disguised as backhoe's.

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Been here before!

If there's one thing el Reg (and most especially this particular section of it and the similar ones) has taught us all, it's always to look on the other side of the wall. Vital tip for the troubleshooting toolbox.

And they say I waste time reading these articles!

20 years deep into a '2-year' mission: How ESA keeps Cluster flying

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Alien

Re: Activate Omega-13.

Especially as it goes full circle, that movie of course being a (semi-veiled) homage to Star Trek, which itself was (originally) a 5 year mission that's now been ongoing one way or another for over 50 years...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Pint

"Never Give Up, Never Surrender"

Nice nod to a great movie (Galaxy Quest) that itself was a homage to the most famous "5 year mission" that has now been ongoing on TV syndication and re-runs for over 50 years, namely Star Trek: TOS.

Yet another space team who have definitely earned their beers...

Getting a pizza the action, AS/400 style

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: ONU

historically yes, though IBM eventually made amends of a sort by introducing the "EIEIO" instruction to PowerPC :)

If it failed, did it buy the farm?

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: "Hopefully he also added a bit of text along the lines"

In such cases ask the cleaner, the canteen staff or if you're really desperate, someone from the C-suite or a corner office...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Pineapple good. Pepperoni bad.

This reminds me of the first time I had Sweet and Sour Pork in the Netherlands (many years ago).

It seems their version of it translates as pieces of pork, battered, fried and served with a tinned fruit salad. Suffice it to say it never got ordered again, lesson learned.

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: "Hopefully he also added a bit of text along the lines"

I read somewhere that "it [unix] came with a set of distgustingly dangerous utilities that meant nothing but could render a system useless within seconds".

Aren't they called users?

Ofcom waves DAB radio licences under local broadcasters' noses as FM switchoff debate smoulders again

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Great timing...

Not to mention allowing national amorphous blobs like Heart to absorb all of the local stations, rename them and then basically switch their output more and more to national networked shows, effectively closing down the local stuff completely.

They nuked all the local breakfast and drivetime shows last year in favour of national rubbish, at which point I just gave up on them completely and tuned elsewhere.

Things that go crump in the night: Watch Musk's mighty missile go foom

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Starship?

I also think Musk has watched too much Thunderbirds.

Is that actually possible? F.A.B.

ESA missions back doing science after precautionary pandemic plug pull: We talk to space boffins about Mars Express emergency command line

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Pint

Engineering magnificence

At least as normal as operations get for Cluster, now over 20 years into a two-year mission, and the veteran Mars Express spacecraft.

Another fine example of the superb engineering on these things, although admittedly it probably also says something about the caution of the mission planners as well. How much all these missions just keep on giving is truly marvellous.

Definitely some homebrew (or home stock at least) for all these guys and gals (except when they're programming the things of course)!

Lost in translation and adrift in cloud storage

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: And there coimes a point in IT

After all, as the old saying goes - "to err is human, but to really f**k things up you need a computer..."

Announcing the official Reg-approved measure of social distancing: The Osman

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Linguine hoops anyone?

Captain Caveman rides to the rescue, solves a prickly PowerPoint problem with a magical solution

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Did they blast you with the air duster before or after the tour?

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Pint

Re: Yesterday

Gotta say in the current chaos I've had the exact opposite experience.

Our IT department have been absolute heroes, sorting out everyone with what they need for remote working (including soft phone via Avaya) and making what kit they can available such as extra monitors and cabling. I already had softphone installed, but it hadn't been configured. One quick email to the helldesk and within 5 minutes a document appeared with all I needed in it to set it up (30s work).

So I'd like to take a moment to raise a virtual pint to all the unsung backroom heroes helping to get all we enforced working from homers (d'oh!) up and running.

This is for you guys and gals ---------------------->

Not exactly the kind of housekeeping you want when it means the hotel's server uptime is scrubbed clean

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: There's a Terry Pratchett Quote for That...

LMGTFY:

https://gizmodo.com/mike-pence-touches-nasa-equipment-labeled-do-not-touch-1796704891

Schermata blu di errore: Italy might be in lockdown, but the sh!tshow must go on

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Achoo You BSOD

Come on, it's at least a Biohazard Sneeze of Doom.

Boots on Moon? Well, the boot part is right: Audit of NASA's Space Launch System reveals more delays, cost overruns

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Boondoggle

Moonboggle would be more accurate?

Grab a towel and pour yourself a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster because The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is 42

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Alien

The other records

Aside from the original albums, does anyone also remember the Marvin singles?

Came across them in my student uni days (at University Radio Nottingham) and might have even played them on the air a few times...

Marvin, Metal Man, Marvin I Love You and Reasons to be Miserable iirc.

Anonymous Custard Silver badge

Re: I can thank Blue Peter or Tomorrows World for my love of the series

It was Tomorrow's World.

At least the bit with the animatronic head was on there, with Peter Macann doing the piece if I remember correctly.

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: If there is a Salmon of Doubt

If not then get_iplayer certainly can grab radio as well, with a suitable IP address...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Alien

Re: Some further reading

And indeed if those with access to iPlayer want some further listening, there was a whole series of programmes last night on BBC Radio 4 Extra celebrating this very anniversary:

Click here for them.

And certainly agree on Salmon of Doubt. Just a sad reminder of his passing and that the master will never finish the work though and what might have been. But then it would also have needed more hotel room lock-ins probably anyway.

Disk stuck in the drive? Don't dilly-Dali – get IT on the case!

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

I look forward to a contributor being renamed Custard.

Of course it could be followed up with Roobarb the week after...

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