* Posts by Anonymous Custard

2864 publicly visible posts • joined 25 Jul 2008

Nolanverse Batmobile leaps barrier between film and reality – but it'll cost you

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

(I don't need anymore toys, though... :D )

Does not compute, please explain this concept... ;-)

I made this network so resilient nothing could possibly go wro...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Triple redundancy?

And what percentage of the diesel is actually rainwater that may have leaked into the system...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Boffin

Re: busy hands

From bitter experience around here, there's nothing more likely to lead to unplanned downtime than preventative maintenance...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Every network admin has done this

As the saying goes, the better engineer learns from their mistakes, but the best engineer learns from other peoples mistakes.

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: He pulled the trigger too fast

But then he'd have been regomised as "Null" or "None"?

Ex-Intel board members make an ill-conceived case for spinning off Foundry

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: China

There is a "rumour" within the industry that arrangements have been considered for a "scorched earth" policy if China did invade - that the fabs would be deliberately destroyed rather than be allowed to fall into Chinese hands.

Whether this is actually true or not is very much open for debate (although given the chemicals around in fabs, it would have at least some plausibility) but it does put a slightly different slant on the scenario (although would still be a massive disaster for the industry and for electronics in general).

From a quick search for more substance - https://asiatimes.com/2022/12/us-mulls-scorched-earth-strategy-for-taiwan/

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Somehow all their outpourings really shows why Intel is in the state that it currently is, unfortunately...

Sadly it's all looking like too late to do much about stopping this slow car crash.

Top-secret X-37B space plane ready for daring new orbital maneuver

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Boffin

Re: Thunderbird One

Maybe more Thunderbird 3 if you include the ring, but yes I can see what you mean...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Joke

Re: atmospheric drag and a tight periapsis

The first reading of "a tight periapsis" made me think that they might be nervously suffering from squeaky bum syndrome on this one?

BOFH: Boss's quest for AI-generated program ends where it should've begun

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Pint

Re: Excel has a large() function!

Large(pint) - with a nod to Robert Rankin...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Obligatory quote...

"Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it."

Groucho Marx

After we fix that, how about we also accidentally break something important?

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Boffin

Or in a cleanroom suit, in which they are also rather lacking...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Facepalm

I think around here the response would be "yes you did break it, you rebooted it!".

That is certainly one of those no-win situations of course.

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

In our business, the swear word/phrase is "BKM" (best known method).

Customer managers seem to love using it, without ever qualifying it. So the usual response is "best known method to do what exactly?"

It's amazing how often that seems to throw them off kilter, leading to the standard response of "everything".

Most often it leads to the quiet lesson in the fact they can't have everything.

And the usual example I counter with is "what's the best vehicle?" without qualifying whether you want to drive very fast around a track, move a wardrobe with it or to park it safely in a city-centre location.

The "BKM" for each is of course rather different, and as it's an at least semi-real world example, it does usually get the point across.

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Coat

Re: No good deed …

As it was optical fibres, at least there were no sparks...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Joke

Oh I don't know, someone else caught on CCTV with their hands in your pockets would I think look rather more suspicious...

NASA switches off Voyager 2 plasma instrument to stretch out juice

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Happy

I resemble that remark...

Although I guess it's when it goes a step further and bits start falling off that the concern really sets in.

Hands up who hasn't made an offer to buy some part of Intel

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Joke

I got a cappucino in the cafe last time I was on-site.

Does that count?

Intel frees its Foundry biz – and that's just one of many major shake-ups today

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Based on what's happened in Ireland, a lot of middle management (which is mostly not a huge loss, from the feedback of some who are remaining) but indeed there are a fair wedge of good and experienced engineers and tool owners who are taking the opportunity.

From what I've heard from on-site colleagues the place is currently like a ghost town (empty and the fab not running much).

Those who remain are varying between nervous, depressed or just utterly fed up.

The other problem of course is the knock-on effect for suppliers and vendors. On the one hand they need us more due to that loss of experience, but on the other they haven't got the cash available to fund the contacts etc, so our lads and lasses are on dodgy ground too (or on flights to Germany or further afield).

Intel has officially entered the grin and bear it phase of its recovery

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Hmmm.

ESMC (the TSMC plant in Dresden) broke ground a few weeks ago.

It's mostly TSMC, but there are partner inputs there from NXP, Bosch and especially Infineon. Hence the E (European) rather than T (Taiwan) in the name.

ESMC is literally next door to Bosch, and just down the road from Infineon (and GlobalFoundries). Plus both of them are also investing in their own Dresden fabs.

Indeed Intel were the somewhat outlier with their foundry fab in Magdeburg (an hour or so away from Dresden, about half way up towards Berlin), but that is now looking on even more dodgy ground than when the newts were actually found on the ground and got somewhat in the way of the initial investigative work.

Oh and there is already a TSMC fab in America as well. It's just outside Phoenix, again just down the road from the Intel one there in Chandler.

Crack coder wasn't allowed to meet clients due to his other talent: Blisteringly inappropriate insults

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Pint

Hold my *%£%ing beer...

To patch this server, we need to get someone drunk

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: 'Exit interview'

[2] to quote Bernard

Could you imagine an exit interview conducted by the Stout one?

That would be awesome to sit in on!

Microsoft PC accessories rise from the grave just in time for Christmas

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

I still have several Intellimice - for me they're one of the best for general use with the 5-button design.

Have found that over an extended period the microswitches do wear out, but given such extended periods for some of mine are 10-15 years I don't think that's too bad, and it's not that difficult to swap them out for new ones (even a klutz like me can do it).

So somewhat sad to read they won't get resurrected as a product line, although a second MS keyboard might be nice for my home office set-up to match the one on my "play" PC that has equally been doing strong for many years but is now out of production too.

A nice cup of tea rewired the datacenter and got things working again

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: The second-nicest thing in the world

Doubly so if aforementioned someone is your boss, or even better someone higher up the tree who is wise enough to know exactly what their role should be in such circumstances (ie support, facilitating and tea-boy - generally getting behind you and not in your way).

BOFH: Videoconferencing for special dummies

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: it's just that new equipment always brings new problems

Brings on horrible memories of "wireless" displays at many customers (and indeed some of our own) offices. Invariably have to hunt down the dongle-thing, plus in the USB (on the mandatory 3rd attempt) and then go through all the hoops to get a connection that drops after 2 minutes, freezes or just doesn't work at all.

To their credit, our IT department does have our laptops set up to allow the most common dongles to install their required drivers etc (software install generally is locked down to admin-only, not for minions) although once or twice that's screwed up due to esoteric, weird or just plain Chinese-knockoff equipment.

Many is a time you just yearn for a simple HDMI cable that "just works".

Pass the brain bleach (or several cold pints) please nurse...

Developer tried to dress for success, but ended up attired for an expensive outage

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: On-site security

Reminds me of a time I pulled into a service station to fill up the car, and noted several military vehicles about (fueling up, plus presumably having a general convoy pitstop) surrounded by various guys and gals all in their regulation camo gear, but with high-vis vests on over the top of the kit.

Gave me a wry smile of conflicting attire...

NASA pushes back missions to the ISS to buy time for Starliner analysis

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Options

...and a SpaceX rescue will kill Starliner.

You say this like it's a bad thing?

There is no honor among RAM thieves – but sometimes there is karma

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Always a good tactic to be on the good side of (and preferably owed a few favours by) the secretariat. Both within industry and even more so in academia.

They are one quarter of the holy quartet (secretaries, storesmen, technician and security).

If you can be on good terms with those, you can get absolutely anything done (or alternatively get away with anything) as they are the ones who *actually* run the place...

BOFH: It's not generative AI at all, it's degenerate AI

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Pint

You say this like it's a bad thing?

Boeing's Starliner set for extended stay at the ISS as engineers on Earth try to recreate thruster issues

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: IT Crowd Solution

"Have you tried turning it off and back on again?"

The thrusters were doing that all by themselves, and indeed that's the crux of the problem...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Alien

Re: This is the third flight.

NASA might just insist on a couple of C-suite beancounters to get the point across concerning the prospects of keeping their contract?

Glass rain, supersonic winds, and Eau de Rotten Egg – just another day on HD 189733 b

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Yup - one of the very few things I actively remember from A-level chemistry.

Whilst the smell is unpleasant, it's when you stop smelling it that you need to worry, as it desensitizes the nose and is also rather toxic.

Users rage as Microsoft announces retirement of Office 365 connectors within Teams

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: "Office 365 connectors within Teams will be cut"

Ssssh, don't tell him that that isn't the luxury version.

But it is, it's got the half-bucket...

Outback shocker left Aussie techie with a secret not worth sharing

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Ouch!!

Good to know.

My youngest just turned 18, so it's been a while since I've frequented such places myself...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Ouch!!

Our place was similar, if not quite so bad.

Two sheds at the far end of the garden, with wire coming out from somewhere underneath the eaves of the conservatory (wire being standard cabling, think what you'd find coming out of a table lamp) and then cleated onto the fence (without any protection) up to the first shed. It then went in there, out again and down into a sunken piece of plastic pipework under the paved area between the sheds and up into the second one.

Pipework wasn't at all sealed, and of course was full of water, leaf mush and general muddy crud. Alarm bells rang when I first saw it, heightened when I heard previous owner mention that breakers had been tripping over the winter for that part of the house...

Needless to say it was the first thing that got disconnected, and as the sheds were both fairly much rotten anyway they didn't last much longer.

Said previous owner was I believe a school headmaster, and over the years we've been in the place, we've uncovered all sorts of other delights that he's similarly bodged.

His enthusiasm for DIY far outstripped his ability, but that particular one had to be the worst offender (at least so far)

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Ouch!!

I never saw these plugs in the usual shops so I imagined there were specialist boutiques for this clientele: Dotty Old Dears 'R' Us.

If you mean what I think you do, they're actually from the other end of the age range.

Places like Mothercare, Ikea and similar stores sell them and they're to stop wandering toddlers and crawlers from sticking their fingers (or anything else) into sockets.

Edited to add - as I see you've realised yourself as well...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: 48V

Been there, done that, got torched teeth?

Innocent techie jailed for taking hours to fix storage

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: They took his pager

Depends on how many bars of signal he had?

Japan's digital minister declares victory against floppy disks

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Discs into gold (or beer)

They are still around in industry. Some of our older tools which customers still run in daily production have floppy drives, but being able to source actual discs for them is becoming quite a challenge.

Hence I've got quite a large plastic crate full of them in the bottom of my cupboard at work that I've scavenged over the years during office moves and from less foresighted people who've "had a clear-out". These I share with colleagues supporting those tools when needed and if their own stocks are exhausted.

It's amazing how many pints of beer you can earn in exchange for a simple box of discs, or in some cases even from single discs.

For the record: You just ordered me to cause a very expensive outage

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Joke

Re: "Norman" who is an electrical engineer by trade and during one phase of his career

It sounded like he just went ohm...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Electrical Engineer?

For anyone still not sure about the reference:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4X_bdJox8w

Admin took out a call center – and almost their career – with a cut and paste error

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Vicidial

I don't think we ever actually used it in to induce anger though

FTFY?

You're wrong, I'm right, and you're hiding the data that proves it

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Brian may not have been the messiah ...

Although the users and "Spartacus" were certainly cross...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Joke

That might have been a bit fiddly?

Techie installed 'user attitude readjustment tool' after getting hammered in a Police station

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Yep, been there

The analogue to value brands in supermarkets (and their quality) is possibly apt here?

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: User attitude readjustment tool

Although given FLA is a TLA in itself, it's probably recursive and acronyms all the way down...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Rubber Mallet

Along similar lines, but more heavy iron rather than electronics - wheeltappers.

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Unilever Basingstoke

Similar story from the University of Nottingham Physics Dept, with their MBE machines and other chunky bits of kit.

Back in the day, the area of the building for them was on the ground floor, but didn't have suitable access to get the kit actually into it. So queue walls being removed and stuff being hoisted in from the car park on at least 3 occasions.

Went back there last year (youngest offspring looking at UniNotts for 1st degree, not in Physics but as we were there I took the liberty of touring the department anyway for nostalgia reasons) and they've now finally redesigned things so there is a suitable goods entry for such kit. But it was fun listening to the lad taking us around on the tour talking about it, and then being able to add more details having actually witnessed one or two of said events personally.

Now there's at least another area upstairs (where the old machine shop used to be, which I actually found quite sad) in addition to the original one, hence the expanded and improved access.

And it wasn't 30 years ago, honest guv'nor! WTAF indeed...!

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: User attitude readjustment tool

With it's sister tools, the "percussive maintenance device", the "gentle persuasion device" and the "clue-by-four"...

The first two being increasingly large hammers, and the latter either a length of wood or a baseball bat (nail optional).

We need a volunteer to literally crawl over broken glass to fix this network

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Sounds like ...

Clearly an inside job...