* Posts by Joseph Eoff

157 posts • joined 25 Jul 2008


Fleeing Aussie burglar shot in arse with bow and arrow

Joseph Eoff

"Personally I would have notched another arrow."

That's nocked, damnit. Nocked. You don't want notches in your arrow, and the thing on the end of the arrow that goes over the string is called a nock.

What should the Red Arrows' new aircraft be?

Joseph Eoff


How about the Avro Avrocar (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avro_Canada_VZ-9_Avrocar)

See icon for a pic of the pilot.

'Geek gene' denied: If you find computer science hard, it's your fault (or your teacher's)

Joseph Eoff

Back to the roots...

They need to go back to the source of the idea of bimodality in CS ability (http://www.eis.mdx.ac.uk/research/PhDArea/saeed/paper1.pdf)

"The camel has two humps" was a paper which seemed to show a bimodal distribution of ABILITY in people BEGINNING a CS course. The grades weren't the criteria, rather a test of ability given to people who had not as yet attended a CS course.

The Internet of Things isn't just for Bluetooth toothbrushes, y'know

Joseph Eoff

" 39 per cent of SMEs are worried about the upfront cost of deploying IoT."

So, 61 percent are totally fucking stupid.

And, you can bet that not one of them considers the costs in keeping the "Internet of Tat" crap running.

Orlando shootings bring Facebook's safety check to US soil

Joseph Eoff

Re: Guns don't kill people....

People kill people.

He could have just as easily blocked the exits and set the joint on fire.

In obesity fight, UK’s heavy-handed soda tax beats US' watered-down warning

Joseph Eoff

Re: Aspartame

Aspartame can be as safe as it wants to be. I ain't drinking anything with it because it tastes effin nasty.

Spaniard live streams 195km/h burn-up

Joseph Eoff

Re: Meanwhile in Germany...

I don't know what part of Germany you were in, but that description doesn't match anywhere around here.

I HATE driving on the autobahn here. Full of dipshits who think 200KPH is slow.

I much prefer the french toll roads. Limited to 130kph, and people drive like civilized human beings.

The contrast when returning home from a trip to France was shocking. The last hour home through Germany was more tiring than the entire trip up through France from Frejus (between St. Tropez and Cannes.)

Linux command line mistake 'nukes web boss'S biz'

Joseph Eoff

rm is avalaible to all users. Deleting stuff in the root directory does require root access.

Isn't this a tech site? Don't ya'll know this sort of thing?

Surprise! Magic Kinder app could let hackers send vids to your kids

Joseph Eoff

Re: Bollocks

Sorry, but if you *like* the taste of black liquorice then you have no taste buds *at ALL* left which makes your opinion on the taste of *ANYTHING* absolutely invalid.

Adobe will track you across all your devices with new co-op project

Joseph Eoff

Note to Adobe:

Fuck off and die, and take the marketers with you.

I have no interest in being tracked in any way, shape, or form when reading PDFs or eBooks.

I give not the slightest of fucks for your poor marketers who have no data to work from.

Looks like I'll be making more use of alternative PDF and eBook readers.

Big data boffins crunch GPS traces, find altruistic route planning is good for everyone

Joseph Eoff

Re: Hmmm...

Sure, I can do that. Now explain that to everybody trying to find their way to my small town...

Ain't gonna happen.

Joseph Eoff


Before we start trying to make the damn things "social," why don't we try not making them dumber than shit?

Where I live, we have a lot of smaller roads and a few highways.

You can get anywhere you need to go by travelling the highway then turning off onto one of the smaller roads for a mile or two.

The stupid machines route everyone through the smaller roads, and it takes twice as long to get anywhere. People who come to visit think you live in the farthest corner of a big forest because they spent an hour dodging bambis and wild on little roads so narrow they only have one lane shared in both directions (single lane, no dividing line, drivers have to cooperatively share that lane when to cars coming from different directions meet.)

Care to guess how this happens?

The major highways all have speed limits in the map databases, so that areas where you have to drive slower are known. The databases don't have that information for smaller highways, so the stupid machines assume that you can drive the maximum speed for that type of highway - which is always higher than the average that the machine can figure for the major highways in its database.

So, the damn things send you through the backwood because they think you can maintain 100kmh on a winding, single lane country road instead of sending you down the major highway where you can only average 90kmh.

Stupid machines.

Austrian mayor spunks €40k on virgin-eating dragon

Joseph Eoff

Is it just me or is that a really poor excuse for a stylized dragon?

The dragon looks pretty lousy in both logos. The head looks more like a squashed pacman than anything else.

Humans – 1 Robots – 0: Mercedes deautomates production lines

Joseph Eoff

Re: More likely higher flexibility...

Germany has a lot of laws protecting the workers that make it hard to hire and fire temporary workers. The point of those laws is to prevent employment fluctuation so that you don't have people continuosly switching from employed to drawing unemployment pay and back again and again.

Retailers urged to create 'CCTV-like' symbol to inform customers of mobile tracking

Joseph Eoff

Re: Not to defend the app-peddlars, but...

Can you really not get along for those few minutes without receiving calls or text messages?

Joseph Eoff


Just use the "Eye of Sauron" and be done with it. Says it all.

Eye of Sauron images

Obama: What will solve America's gun problem? What could it be? *snaps fingers* Technology!

Joseph Eoff

Agreed. That goes along with fixing root causes, though. Those folks with mental health problems ought to be helped, then they wouldn't be out shooting people - and the other people wouldn't be buying guns in fear of the crazies.

Joseph Eoff

Re: What about 3D printers?

Uh, no.

You can create a piece of crap with a 3D printer that looks like a gun but is as dangerous to the user as to the target. It still needs metal pieces to work at all.

A Zip gun is safer and easier to make and doesn't need an expensive toy to produce.

Joseph Eoff

Fix the underlying problem:

Too many desperate people who turn to criminality in order to get by. That reduces the number of people keeping guns out of fear of criminals.

The guns aren't the problem. The things that cause people to own guns out of fear are the problem.

Longing to bin Photoshop? Rock-solid GIMP a major leap forward

Joseph Eoff

Re: Does it still hate the user?

It never hated the user.

I have always used GIMP, and the few times I've had to use Photoshop I had the damnedest time getting anything done.

'Wipe everything clean ... Join us ...' Creepy poem turns up in logs of 30 million-ish servers

Joseph Eoff

Wow. They reached mine, too. - - [30/Dec/2015:04:24:50 +0100]

At least 10 major loyalty card schemes compromised in industry-wide scam

Joseph Eoff

Re: I feel left out (@Tromos)

QUOTE J Bourne:

"But what you forget is this: those customer's without loyalty cards don't pay a lower price for the same goods that I buy. They just get the goods, I get the goods plus a percentage of my spend back to spend again. Effectively giving me a lower price (yes, I take the monetary value of my points once a year at the checkout) I effectively get a free large weekly shop once a year. All the non-card holders help to subsidise that."

Which pisses me off no end. I am penalized for keeping my private information private, and the penalty I pay goes to twats like you.

Bigger than Higgs? Boffins see hints of bulbous new Boson

Joseph Eoff

Science happens when....

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not Eureka! (I found it!) but rather, 'hmm.... that's funny....'"

- Isaac Asimov


Obama calls out encryption in terror strategy speech

Joseph Eoff

Re: Re:Atheism is no more rational and theism.

Certainly I could be wrong. The chances are MUCH higher, though, that all the believers are wrong.

Given the number of different belief systems that all claim to be the one and only absolute truth, nearly all of those systems have to be wrong. Given the impossibility of finding the only one that is the absolute truth, the only reasonable thing to do is to reject them all until undeniable, repeatable, irrefutable facts prove one to be correct.

I'm not holding my breath while I wait for that proof.

Joseph Eoff

Re: Encryption doesn't kill

QUOTE: "I don't recall birth control being banned, "

Then ask the catholics, I'm sure they remember it being banned (admittedly only under the laws of the church.)

Joseph Eoff

Re: Re:Atheism is no more rational and theism.

QUOTE: "Wrong. Atheism is about a desperate need to believe there is no god. They have no evidence. Nor are they open minded enough to allow for the possibility. But they need to believe that there isn't one."

Wrong. Atheism is about looking at the evidence for god (or gods or godesses,) and determining that the evidence for them is about as good as the evidence for that invisible pink unicorn you keep in the invisible box in your garage.

I don't believe in god ( or gods or goddesses) because the evidence sucks. Since it sucks so bad, I'm don't feel any need to believe it.

I don't know if there is a god, but the evidence to date looks like this:

1. Lots of people REALLY want to believe in one.

2. The evidence that there is one is so poor that belief in anything based on it can only be termed an act of desperation.

3. Lots of people believe in lots of different gods ( and goddesses,) and most of these believe that there can only be one true god and/or that people who believe differently are wrong or deluded.

With those points taken together, I can only come to the conclusion that all people who believe in god are wrong or deluded.

Joseph Eoff

Re: Encryption doesn't kill

And how well did the bans on those things work? Not well at all.

Birth control and abortions were available despite bans - the bans have been lifted.

Gay marriage? The homesexual folks lived together and loved one another anyway - the bans have been/are being lifted.

Bans on guns don't work well - everyone yells for more bans.

Joseph Eoff

Re: Encryption doesn't kill

Yeah, like Europe.

That did a spiffing job of stopping the attacks in Paris, didn't it?

All European countries have stricter gun laws than the US. The criminals in the Paris attacks actually bought their guns from Germany, which has some of the strictest gun laws.

I am so *tired* of the Europen "holier than thou" attitude towards guns. Despite the restrictions, criminals don't have any trouble getting guns when they want them. All the laws do is make hard for a law abiding citizen to own a gun.

Most nearly *anything* can be used as a weapon, and I am *very* glad that the terrorists haven't gotten around to realizing that.

Report: VW execs 'knew' about fuel economy issues last year

Joseph Eoff

Re: Bild am Sonntag

I upvoted because in general that is true of the Bild - everything wrong but the jug sizes (and that only because inflation of the reported sizes would be kind of obvious.)

BUT there aren't usually any naked jugs in the Bild am Sonntag ( the Sunday edition of the Bild.)

Connected smart cars are easily trackable, warns infosec bod

Joseph Eoff

Captain Obvious teams up with Captain Clueless...

to report on a problem that everyone with two brain cells to call their own noticed about 0.001 microseconds after the first smart car concept was bandied about.

Who's right on crypto: An American prosecutor or a Lebanese coder?

Joseph Eoff

Re: Nope, don't care

Certainly you can secure your home against unwanted entry, and the police have to have a warrent to search it.

The analogy to cryptography falls apart, though, because the police have to have a warrant and they still have to come in the door to get in your house.

In the case of cryptography, they are basically saying that every house has to have an additional entrance with a master key. The master key is only supposed to be in the hands of those with auhorization, but how long do you think the master key will stay there? I estimate the master keys will stay in authorized hands for approximately 0.01 milliseconds, thereafter every no-good sumbitch on the planet will have a copy and be making plans to make mose effective use of said keys.

So, no back doors in encrypted systems - EVER.

'Shut down the parts of internet used by Islamic State masterminds'

Joseph Eoff

"Shut off the parts of the internet that the terrorists use"

Well, if that's Facebook then I'm all for it.

Who needs Facebook?

RFID wants to TRACK my TODGER, so I am going to CUT it OFF

Joseph Eoff

Re: "Under penalty of....

You do know that the "not to be removed warning" only applies to the seller and not the owner? Once you buy the item, you are free to remove all the tags you want.

Hardened Linux stalwarts Grsecurity pull the pin after legal fight

Joseph Eoff

Re: Strangely I just found this

Problem is clear:

The post is from august 2013 asking for help in resolving a problem with a versiob of GrSecurity from August 2012 - out of date software. The post is asking for help in porting a fix from the current version back to the older one. The post is from Wind River (subsidiary of Intel.)

That fits all the known facts. Using an old version of GRsecurity in an embedded Linux kernel and backporting changes from newer version, multi billion dollar company.

BOFH: Knitting bobble hats on the steps of the guillotine

Joseph Eoff


Looks like we know who is responsible for the horrid changes to the Register.

I can only hope that he really does get fired, or maybe the BOFH will put him out of our misery before the Boss gets fired.

We made a new Do Not Track thing – not like you'll use it or anything, huffs emo teen EFF

Joseph Eoff

Whose laws?

US, UK, Germany, France, China....

Whose laws take precedence?

How's about we go with the Nork laws? Or did you want to force the Norks to follow the UK laws?

Wanted: beta testers for El Reg’s Android app

Joseph Eoff

Re: I'm in!

Well OF COURSE it is fast. It doesn't actually do anything yet.

An algorithm can be blazingly fast if you don't convern yourself with little things like proper function.

Want longer battery life? Avoid the New York Times and The Grauniad

Joseph Eoff

And the Reg?

So how does the Register itself stack up power consumption wise?

Aye-aye Eyeo, go safely on your way-o, says German judge

Joseph Eoff


One more reason to stick with SD televison. I can record anything I like and fast forward past the ads to my heart's content.

I mean, really. What does HD do for you? Nada. Shit in high definition is still shit.

Why are all the visual special effects studios going bust?

Joseph Eoff

Re: Ah, No.

Exceptions granted, though I will note that that kind of thing is funny and entertaining despite being an ad.

Joseph Eoff

Ah, No.

"there's plenty of people willing to see ads, plenty willing to sell them, only a few who can intermediate between the two."

No. There's plenty of people able to see ads, but in comparison very few people willing to see ads.

Seriously. Does anyone really believe that people visit web sites, read magazines, or watch TV with the intent to watch the ads. Really? "Oh, I watched a truly marvelous series of ads last night on the TV. Such a pity they kept being interrupted by that damn movie."

Chap mines Bitcoin with PUNCH CARDS and ancient mainframe

Joseph Eoff


"The electricity would cost 1^18"

Well, I gues with a number that large it doesn't matter if you measure the cost in dollars, apples, or pigs feet.

Attack of the possibly-Nazi clone parakeet invaders

Joseph Eoff

The parakeets from Brazil


The Nazi/Brazil/Clone connection

Pacific nation accidentally does good thing in web crackdown

Joseph Eoff

Protect the children

Give the pervs free internet with no filters. They'll stay at home with one hand on their mouse and the other on the computer's mouse and never bother the kids.

Ad-blocking is LEGAL: German court says Ja to browser filters

Joseph Eoff

Sorry, Ad Block remains the only way to read The Reg without having the enormous, space wasting "Hero Pics" at the top of every article.

Too much waste of screen space.

Joseph Eoff

Ad Block Edge can use the same script and configuration as Ad Block Plus for blocking individual items on a page.

I do the same on The Reg with ABE - no over sized pictures for me.

Joseph Eoff

Re: Adblock Plus is garbage

So use Ad Block Edge (https://addons.mozilla.org/de/firefox/addon/adblock-edge/) Same rules and engine, no slimey paid ads.

DTS announces DTS:X – sparks object-based audio war with Dolby

Joseph Eoff

One more of those things the world can do without

Or, at least, I can.

One of these days I've got to finally buckle down and build an AGC box to put at the input to the amplifier.

I do NOT appreciate having to crank up the volume to hear the dialog only to have the windows in the living room shatter when some clown on screen farts.

This open-source personal crypto-key vault wants two things: To make the web safer ... and your donations

Joseph Eoff

Re: More anonymity for criminals and terrorists

Yeah, 'cause they're doing such a bang up job of catching the terrorists now with the existing crypto. Can you point to a single incident where breaking an encrypted communication actually stopped an attack? No? Didn't think so.

The security agencies these days are damned for not doing their jobs. They spy on the innocent and let the evil continue because they're drown in the flood of useless data gleaned from the communications of the innocent.

Blockhead fugitive Snapchats himself into police custody

Joseph Eoff

It was only a question of time

He's made it to the "Bozo Criminal of The Day:"




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