Posts by Zack Mollusc

Here's what YOU WON'T be able to do with your PlayStation 4

Re: ***I Know It's Long But Just Give It A Read

I can see what you are driving at, bit what angers me is the way that things are _intentionally_ crippled. The developers don't have infinite resources, yet they choose to allocate time and money to screwing things up (usb stands for UNIVERSAL serial bus) rather than debugging known problems.

Whatever, I will be buying a PS4. Well, I shall if Sony start accepting the new proprietary payment system I have developed and its restrictive EULA which I drew up.

Torrent site isoHunt to close

Serves him/them right!

I have no sympathy at all, they should not have been sharing. They should have been selling. If they had sold the files, they could have made themselves into billionaires and then they would have been able to buy a 'not guilty' verdict and everyone would say how cool and awesome they were. This is capitalism 101, guys.

Do not adjust your set: TV market slows, 'connected TV' grows

upgrade schmupgrade

My 'big telly' is a 28"CRT. Why don't I upgrade? Because the tv shows are so compressed that they are full of artifacts ( although, spookily, the adverts are not ). Why don't I buy a different cable service or leap sideways to satellite? Because the channels would still be full of dross.

Come to think of it, why isn't Virgin Media buying me a big new telly? I don't have to pay for billboards to advertise to me, why should I subsidise Virgin Media's advertisers by paying for their display device?

Turkish TV presenter canned for flashing too much cleavage

Blimey, lots of political comments here. Now I realise that I am a political ignoramus because all i am commenting about is that I read "busty schedule" in the article.

Hollywood: How do we secure high-def 4K content? Easy. Just BRAND the pirates

Re: This is such a dumb ass method

Bad luck when the friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of your friend that you happily shared your Nicki Minaj video with puts it on Pirate Bay and they drag your ass to jail because the watermark identifies you as the guilty party.

THIEVES!!

OMG! I am sickened by the blatant stealing going on in this comments section. The Anonymous Cowards may like to hide behind weasel words and call it 'Quoting an earlier post', but it is THEFT, plain and simple.

Wikipedia Foundation exec: Yes, we've been wasting your money

Yay!

In these days of recession and bankruptcy, it is nice to see an organisation actually expanding into a proper business, with corruption, self-interest and now the token empty promises of jam tomorrow.

Well done, Wikipedia. You have come a long way.

Two years after Steve Jobs' death, how's that new CEO working out?

Re: Apple Hate?

In my case, it is because I have used an airport express, two macs, and an ipod . All of them were infuriating and all of them were infuriating because Apple chose to make them so.

Down with Unicode! Why 16 bits per character is a right pain in the ASCII

Solved!

Well, duh! The answer is simple, adopt my own patented system entitled Uniercode. It uses 17 bits to represent each character, thus solving the problem forever.

Watch BLUBBERING BILLION-DOLLAR BALLMER: Microsoft goodbye love-gush leaks

Re: The scary thing is that he might actually believe it

I wonder which company he is referring to, and why he doesn't go work for them, instead?

EU move to standardise phone chargers is bad news for Apple

With the billions of dollars at their disposal, I am sure that Apple will move heaven and earth to find a way of making it crappy and annoying.

Rare gold iPhone 5s goes up against 50 caliber high precision rifle

The UK government didn't ban guns, they only banned the guns which were protecting the peasants. The guns protecting the UK government were greatly increased in number.

iOS 7 SPANKS Samsung's Android in user-experience rating

Re: Horseshit indeed.

Lots of 'twelve o'clock flashers' used to record things. You can manually press record to catch the end of a film that you are too sleepy to stay up for, you can record a one hour show that starts at midnight by pressing record at 10 PM etc.

BlackBerry BLOODBATH! Company warns of nearly $1bn quarterly loss

survived longer than i expected

I had a Blackberry Something in 2008, it was a dismal experience as it could not deal with many file types, had a low resolution screen, crappy browser etc. The only good part was the trackball, which was soon removed on the next generation of Blackberry. I am amazed that they have lasted this long.

Fanbois shun 'crappy plastic' iPhone 5C

Re: Happy Clappy Crappy

Chants and huddles would in no way give me a sense of purpose and togetherness. An acute sense of shame and embarrassment, maybe.

Deep inside the iPhone 5s lurk a few surprises

Re: Samsung processor

Out here in the forgotton wastelands beyond watford, the company hands out iPhones to the dirty mishapen wretches it employs. The apple phones are so marvelous that over three quarters of us have subsequently bought android devices from our own meagre wages. On monday I will take a glue gun to my samsung's battery so that it can once again be as technically advanced as the latest iPhone.

I, for one, welcome our robotic communist jobless future

Re: Just close the loop entirely

A great deal of the car welding robot's apparent dextrousness is down to the process being simplified for it. When a skilled human welder was used, he would have to get his welding rod from stores, adapt his welding technique to the quality and thickness of the materials availible etc. Changing a hospital bed sounds easy, but it might not be in a particular room. It may be in a corridor, it may have a patient in it, or a doctor catching a quick nap, it may be damaged, or it may be being used to transport other equipment as a makeshift cart etc. Good luck outperforming the human, welding robot.

MPs: This paperless health service plan isn't worth the paper it isn't written on

Re: Blame where blame's due

Hahahaha! Managers being fired for screwing up! Hahahaha! Will you be staying in this universe, or are you just visiting?

Storage rage: Like getting a nice steak and being told to only eat 80% of it

Dumb Ass!

The way to cram as much data as possible onto your servers is to mix tape and rotating rust. You store all the zeros CONCENTRICALLY on the disks and the ones stack neatly across the tapes. Duh!

Massively leaked iFail 5S POUNDS pundits, EXCITES chavs

Regailed? Mr Dabbs should put the breaks on his slide into illiteracy before he looses his job. I thought old gits could spell?

iPhone 5S: Apple, you're BORING us to DEATH (And you too, Samsung)

I would have gone to the bus company website, too. It would have been quicker than navigating to the gps menu and switching it on and waiting for a fix. The few seconds it takes for mobile data to establish a connection after switching that on is annoying enough. (Crappy battery life mens I switch as many things off as possible).

Mind you, if you can afford a smart phone, you can afford a 'ped and not be stood at a piss-smelling bus stop at all.

iPhone rises, Android slips in US, UK

Re: I wonder if it's straightforward role reversal

Thanks for that. I was confused because it got me thinking about the Chevette, which was an old british Vauxhall car. Chevettes were not quite as flashy as a Corvette, but they were easier to park. My mate Simon had one with flush (rather than recessed) headlights, this was the epitome of style and made my mk4 cortina (with large eagle sticker on bonnet) look tacky.

Top 10 Steve Ballmer quotes: '%#&@!!' and so much more

Re: One Smart Thing

'in most instances, there was and is no alternative or the alternatives were 'shockingly inferior'. Why else would business people pay or pay more? '

Ahahaahahahaha! You are implying that business people buy the best or the most cost-effective solution! Ahahahahahahahahahaa! Comedy gold!

Snowden journalist's partner gave Brit spooks passwords to seized files

Re: g e Of coure it isn't

We fought against the Axis and held together against The Red Menace, now we are told that we must sacrifice those freedoms to protect Squealer and Napoleon.

US court rules IP address cloaks may break law

Is there anything to stop 3Taps from setting up another company (definitlynot3taps plc?) and having them scrape craigslist, then 3Taps scrapes definitlynot3taps plc's site? Companies seem to do that kind of thing to avoid liability and tax.

Upgraded 3D printed rifle shoots 14 times before breaking

Re: inevitable

The government could alleviate that distrust by being more open. Well, being more open and less corrupt and evil. Well, by being more open and slowing the accelleration into corruption and evil.

Pffft!!

The rifle (or smoothbore, rather) is the easy bit. I am having a heck of a time trying to print the gunpowder.

UK economy to lose £198m if BBC and pals lose EPG slots - Ministry of Fun

Ditto!

Apart from I have no HD content or porn.

It would be nice to shove sport to the far end of the guide with the shopping rubbish, even better if the broadcasters would put ALL sports broadcasts and ALL sports related crud on the sports channel.

I hate it when I 'tune in' for the news and get 'Footballer in court for some reason', 'Footballer to change jobs', 'Football manager sacked', 'Rich person buys/sells football club, then the announcer has the audacity to say 'And now, sports news'.

Re: Bring back telewest...

Indeed! I suppose it is yet another case where things get crappier over time ( Damn you, Richard Branston! ). If I can't re-order the channel list, I would at least like to delete/hide the channels that I normally have to skip through (e.g. everything except BBC1,2,3,4 ITV, Chan 4 (incidentally, Channel 4, I am still waiting for Straw Dogs that you promised me when you started broadcasting), Chan 5, Dave, Yesterday). I don't have HD because Virgin Media cannot even do SD without artifacts and freezing.

Chromecast: We get our SWEATY PAWS on Google's tiny telly pipe

Neat little gadget!

I will definitely buy one just as soon as Netflix has enough things that i want to watch and Virgin Media give me enough bandwidth to make it work ( although it is leaps and bounds better than it used to be, upstream is now a giddy 0.1 Megabytes/s ) and I get a telly with HDMI.

US Marine Corps misses target, finds and bombs Nemo

Assuming they hadn't run the thing aground on the reef, couldn't they have ditched the bombs near the carrier? Unless there is a policy of dumping them somewhere shallow to allow their recovery.

UK gov's smart meter dream unplugged: A 'colossal waste of cash'

Dag nabbit! If an energy company which currently supplies one grilllion watts to the public and receives £1 squillion in revenue has all it's customers reduce their consumption by 50%, what will happen? They will scream that they are losing £0.5 squillion a year and double their prices.

Re: @Ragarath part 2

Companies make no profits, you say? Well, let's use this handy magic wand here....

Zap! Customers pay double what they usually pay ( finding the money from somewhere)

Hurrah! The company is suddenly making lots and lots of profit!

But, what is this? Oh noes! The people running the company have just voted each other huge pay increases, bigger expenses and have pissed away the rest on conferences in posh hotels in Monaco!

Now the company makes no profit again!

What a terrible and utterly unforseen outcome.

Anti-PRISM Trojan explodes over Jay-Z fans

Pffft!!

Big freaking deal. I once downloaded an app called 'Swedish Lesbians In Blackcurant Jam - Totally Not Malware Edition' and some sicko had replaced the code with a Jay Z album!

Apple Time Capsule 2013: Next-gen wireless networking, anyone?

Re: Seems like a straightforward appliance

Really? They are still doing this? I threw away one of those Apple bridge/AP things built into a 13Amp plug because I could not bear the faffing around installing an OS and patching it to a specific service pack just to run some crappy configuration utility. Threw away N95 for similar reasons.

Pink Floyd blasts Pandora for 'tricking' artists with petition

Re: Music was the Greatest Bubble ever...

"We think there is still plenty of money in music, its just not being spread around. Their model only enriches the few to astronomic proportions,"

So music is just the same as any other industry, then?

Nokia Lumia 925: The best Windows Phone yet

Tempting

Looks nice, I would be tempted to consider one if the last Nokia I had (N95) had not been so annoying and the last few Microsoft OSs had not been so annoying. To heck with them both.

Reg hack prepares to live off wondergloop Soylent

Re: keen.

I am in total agreement, Vladimir! It is almost as though different people have different views and different opinions. Crazy!

Facebook, Microsoft beg Feds: Let us tell users what YOU asked for...

Re: Encrypted by design

Google would not be able to mine the text for ads that way, because they would be out of business.

UN report says killer bots could fight WAR WITHOUT END

Surely all killbots have a preset kill limit ?

Windows 8 has put the world's PC market to sleep - IDC

Lost a sale with me..

I wanted to play world of tanks at a reasonable framerate, so I considered buying a new pc (the first for a good number of years). Oh dear, everything has win8 on it. Instead, I said 'sod it', sellotaped a new motherboard and graphics card into an old case and installed Vista on it because I had a Vista license kicking around.

A £1000 shiny new machine sale turned into £500 carrier bag of parts.

Furious Stephen Fry blasts 'evil' Reg and 'TW*T' Orlowski

Re: He's very good...

I doubt that Fry was one of the first people to own an Apple computer. He didn't start earning money until the early eighties, when he was about 25 years old.

The universe speaks: 'It's time to get off your rock!'

Re: London Capital of the World?

Asking around, it seems London is the Capital of the Universe.

WTF is... Weightless?

Re: eh ?

For a one, just send a tenth of the length at a time, for a zero, send 36 degrees of its circumference. Duh!

What’s a computer? Eat yourself fitter!

Re: Holy crap

Well, it would certainly alter my eating speed if i had to drink wine with my food. I would rush all the faster to get the ordeal over with.

Not sure how a big mac + wine has less calories than a big mac.

'Not even Santa could save Microsoft's Windows 8'

Re: Netbooks destroyed Windows?

I think netbooks might have got consumers to associate Windows with cheap-ish, they already had a strong association with nasty.

Mega-res telly demand to boom, say ball-gazers

My BransonVision cable channels are crappy and artifact filled when viewed on my 28" crt telly. I estimate it will be 2033 before I will need to upgrade to HD.

Minicam movie pirate gets record-breaking five years in prison

Re: I'm going to steal from the MPAA too

I hope they jail you, too. Evil Thieving Bastard!

What Compsci textbooks don't tell you: Real world code sucks

Re: What are they doing giving jobs to cowboys?

The recruitment people are also cowboys. As are management. Nobody tries to do their job as well as they can as that is the sure way to redundancy and the dole queue

Kickstarted mobe charger 'kicked to death by Apple'

Re: err

I _am_ a massive wanker, so i shun iDevices to keep that fact concealed.