* Posts by Ted Treen

1738 publicly visible posts • joined 19 Apr 2007

Quality control, Soviet style: Here's another fine message you've gotten me into

Ted Treen

Re: Skodas and Ladas

"...It's true: the Germans have no sense of humour...."

The German sense of humour is no laughing matter!

Remember the 1980s? Oversized shoulder pads, Metal Mickey and... sticky keyboards?

Ted Treen

Re: My scripts are not Y2.1K compliant

Bang! Bang! (Shot twice - 1 for backup.) Happy now?

The safest place to save your files is somewhere nobody will ever look

Ted Treen

Re: Endless recycling

Mine was similar:-



LBW (Let the Bugger Wait)

Yahoo! customers! wake! up! to! borked! email! (Yes! people! still! actually! use! it!)

Ted Treen

Rien ne va plus

Still screwed (in Staffordshire) @12:22

I couldn't possibly tell you the computer's ID over the phone, I've been on A Course™

Ted Treen

Re: He should be proud that of that guy

Off-topic, but in the same vein: when (in the 1960's) I was a school prefect at an English boarding school, it amused me to despatch some irritating little oik to the Post Office to enquire as to the price of a verbal agreement stamp (back in the days when most agreements attracted 2d stamp duty).

Exclusive: Windows for Workgroups terror the Tartan Bandit confesses all to The Register

Ted Treen

The United Kingdom is almost unique in the world in that it has no statute of limitations for any criminal offence tried above magistrate level.

'Software delivered to Boeing' now blamed for 737 Max warning fiasco

Ted Treen

Re: Management's job

They might be paid $24Million per annum: there's no damned way they EARN $24Million per annum.

Users fail to squeak through basic computer skills test. Well, it was the '90s

Ted Treen

Re: Not sure...

Isopropyl is better: no-one questions why you have it around.

Are you sure your disc drive has stopped rotating, or are you just ignoring the messages?

Ted Treen

Re: I can believe it!

'Cos having received their scan by email, the first thing they'll do is print out the attachment. This could have ever such a fun effect on the work throughput schedule, and be terrifically profitable to the scanner and paper vendors. I know your suggestion was meant jokingly, but I've seen many dafter suggestions actually implemented.

RIP Peter Firmin: Clangers creator dies aged 89

Ted Treen

I am 68 years old and a couple of years ago I found the complete Clangers on DVDs on eBay. Naturally I had to purchase them.

Creep travels half the world to harass online teen gamer… and gets shot by her mom – cops

Ted Treen

Re: @AC ... The cat is pretty well out of the bag already

[...No property is worth it... ]

I beg to differ: what I have worked damned hard to acquire is not available for some covetous scrote to help himself/herself/itself to simply because they can't be arsed to work for it. Sod 'em.

Is your smart device a bit thick? It's about to get a lot worse

Ted Treen

Re: Some men do get periods ...

Surely the esteemed Mr Dabbs is post-menopausal by now...

Cash-strapped Chicago slaps CLOUD TAX on Netflix, Spotify etc users

Ted Treen

Re: playing games online or otherwise?

@John Tserkezis

Never happen. Since most politicos are total onanists, they'd never penalise themselves.

Ted Treen

Re: The Opposite Of Sensible Or Fair

"Chicago residents who prefer to download their music rather than stream it, on the other hand, are in luck: the change to the tax law doesn't apply to them."


UK's Rural Payments Agency is 'failing on multiple levels' – report

Ted Treen

"UK's Rural Payments Agency is 'failing on multiple levels'"

No change there, then:- business as usual.

HP Ink to compensate punters for bricking third-party ink cartridges

Ted Treen

Just what worked for me...

I unloaded my Epson XP printer, and acquired one of their Ecotank series. Not a better printer, but 4# 30ml inks at £30 for the set isn't too bad when compared to 5/6 ml cartridges. Having 30 ml tanks in the printer lessens the chance of drying out, too.

Any social media accounts to declare? US wants travelers to tell

Ted Treen

Re: What about the El Reg commentardiat?

If it's NOT subversive I want my money back.

Yorkshire cops have begun using on-the-spot fingerprint scanners

Ted Treen

Re: disaster, colossal amounts of money

Only 'nearly every'?

Hackers' delight: Mobile bank app security flaw could have smacked millions

Ted Treen

Public WiFi

OK, my problems are fewer since I don't travel abroad but when out & about, if I want to use my phone banking app, I switch off WiFi so I will only ever connect via 4G. I'll only ever use public wifi for something where network security isn't necessary.

Apple to Europe: It's our job to design Ireland's tax system, not yours

Ted Treen

Place the blame where it belongs!

If a company is acting outside the law, then use the law to prosecute them.

If they're operating legally, then blame the lawmakers and change the law.

Manchester cops to strap on 3K bodycams

Ted Treen

In Manchester??

How long before the first plod is mugged for his camera?

Facebook bungs 10-year-old kid $10k to not 'eliminate' Justin Bieber

Ted Treen


"He attributed this to its excellent school system, fast and cheap internet connections, and long, cold, dark Finnish winters."

No mention of a plentiful supply of pizza delivery services, and Moms having cellars, then.

Heathrow Airbus collision 'not a drone incident'

Ted Treen

Re: Reality Check

"but they can be as large as a cardboard box in a strong thermal.

That would have to be one hell of a thermal."

Depends on the cardboard box:- they come in sizes from smaller than a matchbox to the size of a packing crate - and in materials from very light card to multi-ply heavy duty stuff.

Eight-billion-dollar Irish tax bill looms over Apple

Ted Treen


...aren't the words "analyst" and "intelligence" mutually exclusive?

Remember Windows 1.0? It's been 30 years (and you're officially old)

Ted Treen

Re: Ahhh Windows 3.11 for Workgroups...

Seems a cool name to me: does there have to be a reason?

Clueless do-gooders make Africa's conflict mineral mines even more dangerous

Ted Treen


Unlike our experiences wherein our elected governments have transmogrified into bandits.

Computer Science GCSE male dominated, but geekettes are ready to rise

Ted Treen

"Put down your ironing and get to the keyboard!

Only IF you've finished the ironing.

Cause of Parliamentary downtime on Microsoft Office 364½ revealed

Ted Treen

But surely...

...anything which stops or impedes the denizens of The Palace of Westminster from communicating with each other and furthering their little schemes is a good thing for the rest of us.

BT: Let us scrap ordinary phone lines. You've all got great internet, right?

Ted Treen


"...government policies on power generation..."

Wasn't aware they had any.

Cops turn Download Festival into an ORWELLIAN SPY PARADISE

Ted Treen

Re: So Download Festival are trying to go bankrupt?

You mean a vote for Miliband would have shown great intelligence and deep understanding of reality?

Or is it a case of anyone who doesn't agree with you is an idiot and away with the fairies?

Thought so.

All Mac owners should migrate to OS X Yosemite 10.10.3 ASAP

Ted Treen

Re: Not for older MACs

My Early 2009 MacPro is running Yosemite quite happily. It's a 6-yr old machine, and still does all I ask it to do, including quite heavy Photoshop work with 210Mb 14-bit TIFFS (Exported Raw files from my D800).

Ted Treen

Re: Another epic Apple EOL fail

"...Apple computers are not for the technically oriented minds. People will buy Macs regardless with the content smile of lobotomized, bordering on Nirvana..."

Whereas I, Sandtitz, am one of the élite cognoscenti who look down on those who merely want to get on with using a machine without having to fart about with it.

And yes, I have been involved in both H/W ands S/W support/engineering since the late 1970's, and surprisingly enough, have been a Mac user since 1990. Even the most experienced mechanics like something which they can just drive...

(Awaits hordes of downvotes from the anti-Apple mob, desperate to show how they're too cool and too technically brilliant to use something which just runs...)

Vodafone didn't have a £6bn tax bill. Sort yourselves out, Lefties

Ted Treen

Re: "Branch" line


"...Taxes are now used to pay for necessities which make it possible to have a successful society: Roads, infrastructure, a functional justice system..."

Our roads are in one hell of a state, our infrastructure is broken & can't cope, and it's been one hell of a long time since our legal system had anything to do with justice.

So where are my taxes going???

Data retention: It seems BORING ... until your TV SPIES ON YOU

Ted Treen
Big Brother

Why pick on Oz?

"...police all over Australia have routinely misused information to which they have access..."

I don't think that's restricted to Oz.

"...police all over Australia everywhere have routinely misused information to which they have access..."

There! That's fixed it for you.

TOTAL DARKNESS lasted 550 MILLION years until the first STARS LIT UP

Ted Treen
Thumb Up

Re: "...the universe is around 13.8 billion years old..."

Weapons of mass distraction, perchance?

Ted Treen

"...the universe is around 13.8 billion years old..."

So is Rupert Murdoch - so the universe must be older.

IBM chasing ex-staffers for $20 payments

Ted Treen

“ transform the way IBM digitally engages with clients and business partners across 70 countries in the region.”


"It's cheaper."

LEAKED: Samsung's iPhone 6 killer... the Samsung Galaxy S6

Ted Treen

Re: Why should Apple be worried?

Is this "iPhone6-killer" related to the previous "iPhone5-killer" and the "iPhone4-killer" all of which were predicted to decimate the iPhone market?

Saudi Arabia hires 'ethical hackers' to silence smut slingers

Ted Treen

Almost right...

It's not merely acceptable, it appears to be positively encouraged and might soon be compulsory.

Analysts claim itty bitty iPhone Mini to land next year

Ted Treen

Ah, yes...


An unerring track record of accuracy in forecasting Apple's moves.

UK banks prepare for Apple Pay 'invasion', look to slap on bonking protection

Ted Treen

Bah! Humbug!

"...Airing concerns about security, money laundering and financing of terrorism is a standard tactic employed by the banks..."

Hence the recent humomgous settlements paid by HSBC and others to the US regulatory authorities for dealings with massive sums of drug money, financial dealings with terrorist-sponsoring states, and myriad other skullduggeries.

Concerned - but mainly about how much they can make from it, it seems.

Metrics house hails Apple DOMINANCE of X-Mas phone 'n' slab sales

Ted Treen


That's ruined Jasper's Christmas

Why has the Russian economy plunged SO SUDDENLY into the toilet?

Ted Treen


"...I thought the reason the Saudi's were doing it was to screw up investment in western shale oil which would wipe out a lot of their customers..."

Not at all old lad. The House of Saud (with a little prompting from that nice Mr Obama) has its prime intention as severely harming Iran - their implacable anemy/arch-rival - whose export of oil is the only thing keeping the Tehrani economy anything like afloat. Depress the price of oil, and the general populace in Iran become somewhat disenchanted with the Ayatollahs...

Mr Obama is pefectly happy to see Tehran deep in the mire, and with the added bonus of buggering up Boris, he has had a pefectly happy Christmas - with it all effectively done through proxies.

The EU's rush (under US prompting) for expansion eastwards has fuelled Boris's natural age-old paranoia regarding being encircled by the enemy. with the enemy at the gates. The EU foray towards the Ukraine was a step too far from Boris's point of view.

Also, in reply to Arnaut the less, who states "With the possible exception of Angela Merkel, please let me have the name of a single leader of a major first world country who is not a putz.", the delightful Frau Merkel might not be a putz, but she is a dyed-in-the-wool authoritarian not-so-ex Osti apparatchik who views German hegemony over an enlarged European Union as the Fourth Reich.

Interesting times...

Ted Treen


Google, Amazon & Apple remove bugger all money from circulation when viewed in the context of QE - or printing as many 'new' dollars, pounds or euros as our esteemed overlords feel like.

Add to this the fact that with fractional reserve banking, loans made by banks are little more than money created out of thin air, and it becomes apparent that the whole system is a house of cards.

It continues as long as the participants believe - or pretend to - in it, but at some point someone of power/influence is bound to say "Hold on, this here's all funny money which doesn't really exist".

And then? - Solids, meet air-conditioning...

Freedom of Info at 10: Tony Blair's WORST NIGHTMARE

Ted Treen

To Mr Corfield...

"...and its author has been dead for 20 years..."

Perhaps they cant tell...

Norks' internet goes TITSUP in possible DDoS attack

Ted Treen

Re: Users little affected

Thanks for that link:- very interesting to read.

Have a festive beer!

Sneaky hackers slurped $15 MILLION from banks

Ted Treen

"...Russian hackers slurped $15 MILLION from banks..."

And that's chickenfeed to what the damned banks have slurped from us...

Super Cali's futuristic Tesla batt swap focus – even though car tech test is an expected bonus

Ted Treen
Thumb Up

What a headline...

Nice article: the best headline of the year, too!

BT to gobble EE for £12.5bn – BTEE phone home

Ted Treen

Re: Blue Sky Ahead

Well I can't imagine many Politicos, Celebs etc., buying a mobe from a Murdoch company...

LOHAN sponsor Lucidica explains the benefits of being French

Ted Treen


Tell that...

...to Joan of Arc.

Well it was a cold day, and she did keep us warm - for a while.