Posts by WonkoTheSane

BOFH: Just because we've had record revenues doesn't mean you get a Xmas bonus

Re: More Beria than BOFH.

"Nah, none of those reprobates would actually get their hands dirty."

That would rather depend on how long the scour valve is left open per cycle.

Post-Brexit tariffs on EU-UK electric vehicle imports staved off for three years

Re: Charge

That's weird.

The UK currently has 10,000 "rapid" chargers, capable of charging an EV at 50kW or better.

It's ba-ack... UK watchdog publishes age verification proposals

The answer is obvious

We need to declare Mumsnet a terrorist organisation.

UK government rings the death knell for SIM farms

"Ultra Vires"?

Isn't that the Conservative Party motto these days?

Long-term space missions may make liftoff harder for male astronauts

Tinfoil underpants time?

Now we know why the aliens gave mankind those little blue pills.

BOFH: Monitor mount moans end in Beancounter beatdown

Nobody warns the new guy. They don't want to be the only one stitched up by the BOFH & PFY.

CompSci academic thought tech support was useless – until he needed it

I think maybe you missed the part about the complainer using their own, hand-knitted, LISP-based email client?

BOFH: Adventures in overenthusiastic automation

Re: Lager Attrition - ouch!

More likely that no one programmed the vacs to cross the road safely

BOFH: We've made a big mesh, Boss. That's what you wanted, right?

Re: An appropriate message?

Sometimes they do, and record a message saying "Watch the show!"

Re: Ahhhh the

Where there's a will, there's relatives.

Beta driver turned heads in the hospital

Those monitors are spreading across our company too.

My office uses them for CAD duties, others have asked for them so they can see ALL the columns on an Excel sheet.

Car industry pleads for delay to post-Brexit tariffs on EVs

Re: I'll be sticking with petrol (or diesel) for my next car.

I know of the Volvo study you got that 80,000 mile figure from, and it's been completely debunked.

An EV can repay its "manufacturing carbon debt" within around 16,000 miles.

Re: I'll be sticking with petrol (or diesel) for my next car.

Hydrogen is a non-starter for cars. That's why Shell have been closing their hydrogen filling stations around the world.

Re: I'll be sticking with petrol (or diesel) for my next car.

There are early Teslas out there with over 300,000 miles on the clock, and still counting. On the original battery & motors.

"Instead, we have muppets in government *still* saying that the future might be hydrogen, due to having large envelopes full of cash campaign contributions from the fossil fuel industry "

FTFY

How is this problem mine, techie asked, while cleaning underground computer

Re: "......the mine had closed."

Might have to bury it in half a tonne of kitty litter, too.

Re: Cleaning Printers that are full of dust

Too soon.

(It will ALWAYS be too soon!)

Chap blew up critical equipment on his first day – but it wasn't his volt

My old electrical engineering instructor used to say "It's volts what jolts, but mills* what kills"

* MilliAmps.

Toyota servers ran out of storage, crashed production at 14 plants in Japan

Re: Lost in Translation?

You're saying this may be the actions of BOFH-san?

Coming soon to El Reg's "Who me?" thread (maybe).

BOFH: What a beautiful tinfoil hat, Boss!

Re: I knew my keyboard was doomed

The guy JMS found to replace him in the new "Babylon 5: The Road Home" animation is a good successor.

FYI - Asus now make routers with a button to turn off all the LEDs on the built-in manglement website

Re: Blockers

The Zaphod model is only sold in twin packs. Two heads, you see.

Southern Water to drink up tech deals worth up to £358M

Re: "asset management period set out by regulator Ofwat"

OFWAT is just a parking spot for future water company executives.

India lands Chandrayaan-3 spacecraft on Moon, is the first to lunar south pole

Chandrayaan 3 did NOT land "at the South Pole"

The landing site is at a latitude of roughly 69 degrees South.

If it had landed on Earth, it would be comparable to the coast of Antarctica.

It is, however, the furthest South any lunar landing has been successful.

X-rated auction sells last vestiges of pre-Musk Twitter

Musk's ENTIRE business plan

The X makes it sound cool!

We need to be first on the Moon, uh, again, says NASA

I've seen this before

It's almost like NASA has been watching "For All Mankind" on Apple TV

TV and film extras fear generative AI will copy their faces and bodies to take their jobs

This is precisely what caused the current US actor's strike

When actors began seeing legalese in their contracts allowing the studios to do this exact thing, SAG-AFTRA joined the WGA, who were already on strike over studios wanting to create scripts via ChatGPT.

Microsoft hits back at Tenable criticism of its infosec practices

Tenable?

They're an infosec vendor?

I thought this article was about Warwick Davis' gameshow!

BOFH: WELCOME TO COLOSSAL SERVER ROOM ADVENTURE!!

Re: Fond memories

TIL - The original "Crowther & Woods" game this episode tributes has just been "remastered". With animations.

Mine's the one with a fistful of d6 in the pocket -->

Voyager 2 found! Deep Space Network hears it chattering in space

Re: All alone in space

You may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.

Mine's the one with a copy of the Guide in the pocket. -->

Japanese boffins slice semiconductors from diamonds – with lasers!

Re: Diamond chips, with golden coolers. New shiny, indeed.

The corresponding memory sticks are already already available

Nobody would ever work on the live server, right? Not intentionally, anyway

Last wedding I went to, the happy couple bought enough "disposable" cameras for all the guests and put them on the tables for the reception meal.

The choice: Pay BT megabucks, or do something a bit illegal. OK, that’s no choice

Re: 100m goes a long way

I remember, back beyond the mists of time, a new student accommodation block was built in the middle of Wrexham without any in-room networking whatsoever.

Within days, I saw Cat 5 strung from window to window across the entire building

Douglas Adams was right: Telephone sanitizers are terrible human beings

Re: Real Sanitizers

I saw the Theatr Clwyd production, as mentioned here:- Link

Re: Real Sanitizers

For me it was:-

* TV

* LPs of the first 2 radio series

* Books of first 2 radio series

* Theatr Clwyd's stage production

* Rest of radio series

* Rest of books as they came out

* Film (Notable only for its cameos of Adams & several of the TV cast)

Boris Johnson pleads ignorance, which just might work

It was actually 12345 (He has the same password on his luggage) ;-)

Re: The dog ate it

Off the Commons patio straight into the Thames more like.

Turning a computer off, then on again, never goes wrong. Right?

Re: PC Engineers...

"This could have been well before Windows was even a thing!"

Knowing the UK's National Health Service, this was more likely to be last week!

Re: Reminds me of an old (early '80s) AI koan ...

Agreed. The mere presence of "the expert" makes the novice consider their actions more carefully.

Phosphates on Enceladus could mean sub-surface oceans teeming with aliens

The locals should be more careful

If excessive phosphates are detected, it can cause planning applications to be rejected.

Florida man insists he didn't violate the law by keeping Top Secret docs

Re: Lock him up

Someone already has. I recommend you view the historical document known as "Idiocracy"

A toast to being in the right place at the right time

Re: He's toast

Now imagine what we did to the guy who tried microwaving kippers at our place!

BOFH: Good news, everyone – we're in the sausage business

Simon & the PFY would just wholesale the bangers to a Mr CMOT Dibbler of Ankh-Morpork.

BOFH: Get me a new data file or your manager finds out exactly what you think of him

Re: Oh the pain!

The worst of which is the ISP support line that you only need to ring when your internet is deceased.

That old box of tech junk you should probably throw out saves a warehouse

Re: Golden Junque

I direct your attention to the side wall of M5 Industries, Jamie Hyneman's workshop seen in every episode of Mythbusters.

Wall o' boxen

Rigorous dev courageously lied about exec's NSFW printouts – and survived long enough to quit with dignity

Re: Shared printers

Back in prehistoric times, you couldn't take your screen into the restroom (or so I'm told).

Is there anything tape can’t fix? This techie used it to defeat the Sun

Re: Apologies in advance for the super-pedantry here...

Ah, but the current big ball of thermonuclear explosion collected all those radioactive heavy elements into one place and thereby formed the Earth's core.

Of course Russia's ex-space boss doubts US set foot on the Moon

Rogozin isn't well

He's displaying all the symptoms of a textbook case of defenestraphobia.

Datacenter fire suppression system wasn't tested for years, then BOOM

Re: Err

As quoted in "Carry On England" (1976)

Streaming apps – and maybe even Cloud PCs – coming to electric cars

"What else are you going to do while waiting for it to charge?"

I never have to wait for my electric car to charge, instead I plug it in and leave it to charge itself while I get on with my life.