* Posts by JT2008

45 posts • joined 14 Jul 2008

WTF is this country called America?

Dead Vulture

Well then ...

Hulk Hogan's theme song, "I am a real American" was just his way of saying "I am not real".

Makes perfect sense to me.

Bloke uses nail clippers to go roundhead


@Walking Turtle

Did you kill amanfromMars and steal his brain?

Edison Chen sex snap thief found guilty



"For the torrent, Pirate Bay is your friend ..."

Don't you mean, "For the moment, Pirate Bay is your friend ..."?

Mine's the one with the court appeal in the pocket.

DellHPSunIBM unmoved by Cisco blades


It is Vaporware.

California is a weak sister to HP's virtualconnect, among others. Their lock-out, and "all Cisco" mentality will not be a help, as every dacenter in the world is cross-platform and multi-vendor. It's a rip-and-replace technology. If you are willing to lose your job because you spent tens of thousands on a system that fails to deliver, go buy California.

Me, I'll stick with something that actually exists, and works.

Microsoft claims Firefox- and Chrome-whopping IE8 speeds


Faster? Right ...

As the test parameters appear to be completely subjective, this is a load of carp. How about testing from the time the http stream starts to the time the http stream stops?

No? Why? Because they know that they can't get better performance than ANY other browser out there.

Mine's the one with the copy of Lynx on a USB drive in the pocket.

Chinese crackers create counterfeit iTunes racket


Re: Mutually Assured Destruction

I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, deedle-e-dee, there they are a standing in a row ...

followed immediately by ...

It's a small world after all ...It's a small world after all ... It's a small world after all ... It's a small, small world ...

bwahahahaha ...

Pirate Bay rejects law-breaking claims


@Seanie Ryan

"Prosecute Colt because its gun technology allows me to kill .. illegal"

This, sadly, has been done in the U.S. ...with the result being that the firearms manufacturer paying massively.

Good example of a bad result.

Judge issues radioactive 'pr0n downloader' alert



"He is *accused* of having dangerously pornographic pictures."

And then he ran.

Nothing says "I did it!" "Arrest me!" like running.

Shark attacks predict economic bubbles, says boffin

IT Angle

More attacks ...

would be successful by the sharks, if they just had a frikkin laser beam!

Amazon pulls Japanese rape simulator from shelves

IT Angle

Ban GTA , too.

This is stupid.

I mean, really, what happened to freedoms?

Oh, that's right ...you are on "that side" of the pond.

Copyright cops launch MS-happy software compliance tool

Paris Hilton

Cheaper and easier

If your Head of IT insists on going the automated, pay-for-software way, Symantec/Altiris does everything FAST does ...without scare tactics:


Paris, because she likes it fast.

California to get 'space age' three-wheel EV

Paris Hilton

@Martin Gregorie

"Please get your facts straight "

"Americans were using paper bags almost exclusively last time I looked."

Wrong-o factboy. Even in the green state of Caifornia, we have TONS of plastic bags at each and every supermarket. How do I know? I was just at Safeway last night.

So ...please get -your- facts straight prior to flaming others.

Paris, because she's mostly plastic, too.

Spammers target Twitter


Who cares?


Mine's the one with the pen and post-it pad in it.

Google Analytics crippled by autoimmune disease

Gates Horns


"Why oh why are companies still using third party email providers for their business?"

Because it's free ...like Ubuntu.

Not that I agree with it ....but you asked.

419ers take Canadian for $150,000


Really ...

You would think that humans in general had this one figured out.

This guy, apparently, is subhuman, at least in the brains department.

F-ing sad.

US lawmaker wants health warnings on video games


What a load.

This is like saying that the more you watch NASCAR, the more likely you are to drive over the speed limit.

I really hate moronic tripe wrapped in the shroud of "protecting your kids".

I can protect my kids just fine, thanks.

Google spins out Chrome 2.0 pre-beta alpha

Paris Hilton

@Joel Clark

"Is the constant Mac-bashing really necessary?"


I ...am ...so sick of the whiny MacTards on here.

Paris, because even she can use a Mac.



I prefer to call them uniTards.

Microsoft gives XP another four months to live



" Is it better than its predecessor? "



@joe earl

Joe, are you serious?

As a Sr. Network Engineer with well over 17 years of IT knowledge at my disposal, I can honestly say one thing: Vista, any flavor/service pack, is crapware. Do note that I am indeed a MS fan, am MCSE certified (for all that is worth), and run MS servers and desktop systems. For someone to even start to think that Vista is in any way a real improvement over XP, they would have never ran the OSs head-to-head against each other in a real-world network. I have, and Several COMPANIES (not just one person) have ripped out Vista to rollback to XP.

When the dislike is this overwhelming, there is usually a good reason. Get real and stop being a MS shill.

Man threatens lawsuit after negative eBay feedback



You have to be joking.

Guess this is one of those, "I can sue anyone for anything at any time" moments.

The guy who says his e-bay business is going under from negative feedback needs to look in the mirrir to see why he got the negative feedback in the first place.

MEPs warn on 'virtual strip searches'


@Robin Bradshaw

Just wear Silver Nanofiber Underwear. Problem Solved.


Mine's the Silver Nanofiber one.

BOFH: Fine detective work



We need a Troll icon, just for Jimmy.

Hey JTB, can you send a pic to El Reg?

Democratic rep fathered alleged Palin hacker

Paris Hilton

Hey Sarah ...

Not that I'm advertising, but ever hear of LifeLock???

Paris, because she's no bulldog with lipstick.

Street View operatives object to being snapped



"I wonder if the reason they didn't want their faces shown was fear of peoples reactions as a result of overly inflammatory articles like these?"

I wonder where you get your logic from ...a pretzel box, prehaps.

What a load of tripe.

Erotic artist urges spanking for Jacqui Smith

Dead Vulture

@The Other Steve

"There isn't an icon that suitably represents the populace rounding up all those who would seek to be our moral guardians and stringing them up from lamp posts, but there should be."

Oh yes there is.

Hacker unearths young Chinese gymnast scam



"Like the US of Good ol A have made New Orleans vanish so they don't have to worry about re-building it?"

What? Are you really this stupid? ...Ah ...a troll, perhaps?

New Orleans was a NATURAL DISASTER ...

What the Chinese Government does to its own people is a TRAVESTY.

Get your head out.



" "and I believe that united they will be able to make state-sponsored censorship a thing of the past.""

"Awefull hypocrisy comming from anyonme in the UK or USA"

Here in the U.S., I don't get imprisoned for blogging against my government.

Try it in China.

Oh ,and I do so love the way the Chinese Government decided that certain individuals (their own citizens, no less) needed to NOT be in the city when the Olympics happened.

I could rail on, but at this point, there's no real need.

BOFH: Burying the hatchet

Paris Hilton

@Jim the boss

Amazing ...a whole website dedicated to trolling.

And here I thought that *I* had nothing better to do ...

Paris, because she's the boss.

Net shoppers bullied into being Verified by Visa

Paris Hilton


"Yes it was but, of course they soon discovered the fatal flaw in that - if someone has stolen your card, they can simply read the number off the back!! DUH!"

Worse still ...the kid at Kinko's with the large photocopier in the back can copy both sides of the card ...instead of just the front.

Look ma ...I have a credit card!

Paris, because she likes it kinkos ...or kink-ish ...whatever.

Congress quizzes world+dog over data pimping

Black Helicopters


"Has your company at any time tailored, or facilitated the tailoring of, Internet advertising based on customers' internet search, surfing, or other use?"

While not the technological apples-to-apples equivalent ....isn't this what Google does all day, every day?

The return of Killer Chlorine

Dead Vulture

Hmmm ...good question, but -

Christine Houghton said: "Since its creation, chlorine has been a chemical catastrophe. It is either chlorine or us."

Chlorine. We're all going to die sometime ...

PS: Even the radioactive isotope version will outlive humanity by a long stretch. Its half-life is 301,000 (± 4,000 years).

US nuke missile crew falls asleep on the job

Paris Hilton

Slow day, El Reg?

This is SOP, people. Really.

Sad that there's no IT/Paris angle, even.

Paris, because she always looks sleepy ...

HP packaging madness continues apace


RE: Duly Noted

"As an HP employee I have escalated this to our environmental and packaging teams. They assure me they are on the case. May not be a quick fix but it will be fixed."

... and your verification of resolution will arrive on a single sheet of paper,via pack elephant, in a giant steel cargo crate, filled with styrofoam packing peanuts, and about 8 miles of bubble wrap.

Mine's the one that says "Janitor"

Paris Hilton


"I want to know what you wear if you work in a factory making Hi-Viz jackets."


We're supposed to WEAR something???

Paris, because she likes working in the Hi-Viz industry.

Torvalds brands Digg users 'W*nking Walruses'

Dead Vulture

Stroking Solaris users?

Type your comment here — plain text only, no HTML

HP shatters excessive packaging world record

Dead Vulture

Oooooo-kay ...

This is so fake it hurts.

El Reg nails Street View spycars to Google Maps

Dead Vulture

@Jonathan Schofield

"Does this mean that I can be googled?"

Yes ...but the real question is, will you like being googled?


Fastscale sends Windows Server to Weight Watchers


Re: Does crow taste good?

Nice save!

Are you sure you're not Simon Travaglia?

Dead Vulture

Does crow taste good?

Didn't you write "Taking the trade out of tradeshows - start-ups set for failure (10 August 2007)"?


Grissom bows out of CSI


@Alex - The dead Warrick

C'Mon people ...anyone who's a fan of CSI knows about this:


Old news - posted way back on May 14, 2008

Stop your "spoiler" whining ....

Ubuntu trumpets aromatic pistou of borage

Dead Vulture


""Let us wait while the page loads", don't thinks so NEXT."

Agreed ...They are just as pretentious as their clientele, apparently.

Sad when arsty runs rampant in my browser.

Baptist church in assault rifle giveaway

Dead Vulture


"All you religious types (Christian or Muslim, fundamentalist nutters are all the same) with your wacky black and white, good and evil simpleton views of the world aren't going to make anything better by turning a human being into a pile of minced flesh and hair."

Too right ...it won't make it all better ...

but it sure is neat to watch ...

Dead Vulture

@Jesus Puncher

"Great. And when you come across intolerant people such as myself, or the gun-bearing god-fearing religious nuts, which would you rather share a neighbourhood with?"

The religious nuts, because -

"The low probability of getting shot at on London’s streets" does not make up for the high probability of being accosted by roving thugs in Burberry.

See how ridiculous both arguments are yet?

Dead Vulture

@Matthew Barker

"There's a thing that Christians refer to as their "Holy Book". In it, there's a statement to which they often refer: "God is Love". And their Saviour has said one should never even speak harshly to another person or they were in danger of judgement.

I guess guns are implements of love rather than hate."

Yep ...guns are indeed implements of love.

I love my country, and the freedoms that are mine by right.

I won't be speaking harshly. Really.


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