Posts by Ted Bovis

Police send Reg hack CRB check database

This must happen all the time

My girlfriend volunteers for an organisation and just happens to have the same name as one of the HR staff. So she gets sent all manner of things - usually people's personal details - which have nothing to do with her. At the same time, the intended recipient doesn't get these mails. She mails them back saying "You shouldn't be sending me this stuff", they mail back saying "Oh sorry, we've taken you off our list now". Then it all goes quiet for 3 weeks, then starts again.

Heathrow security man cops perv scanner eyeful

Naw

It's just a Ryanair cost-saving device.

Hurrah!

Ah good, I'm glad you're here. Next time I suffer any unease about my level of trauma I'll be sure to ask you to point out where I am on your traumatisation chart, so I know how horrible I am allowed to feel.

Government expects £277m from vetting scheme

I've always wondered

What happens if a parent does have a record for GBH or Assault or whatever - there must be plenty of mums and dads that do. Does this mean the school won't have them on the premises?

New Labour bring old Nuremberg Laws to Britain

maybe

But they must be the only 2400 people in the country who can open a bank account, pick up a parcel or get into clubs. The rest of the 60 million-odd are just hanging around outside these establishments helplessly wringing their hands.

Oh wait, it's all bollocks, isn't it.

Home Office battles to make CCTV useful

Nonsense

Why, I saw it on CSI just last night. They use some computers and things and solved a big crime in the space of an hour. Can't we get that technology in return for Gary McKinnon?

Gov targets boozers as Manc ID card scheme launches

Ha

"Dear Manchester boozers,

Please reduce your clientele to a maximum of 1,386 potential drinkers. If you don't, we will hit you with another badly-drafted law quicker than you can say 'General Election'.

Thanks awfully,

Your Masters at the Home Office"

Filesharing laws to hit websites and newsgroups too

Handy Mandy

If only. Mandy said himself that he's quite happy to jump ship to the Tories (or whoever) when Labour suffer the inevitable - in fact, he wants us to think he is above mere party politics, as if he has been directed by the Almighty to work for the good of the British public (i.e. himself). He's like Sauron with the IQ of a sponge.

Regulator warns on school CCTV schemes

ooh, kids today

Poor kids, imagine being described as angelic innocents to be protected, and simultaneously as dirty feral chavs to be punished. No wonder the cameras are watching them - they might go nuts with the pressure.

ID Card scheme banking on 28 million volunteers

@ Richard Wharram

In the main, MPs (on all sides) know little about the details of the scheme. Your MP is lying to you because a) that's Labour's party line, b) she's been lied to, c) she doesn't know anything about it, and d) she doesn't care. I've written stacks of letters to my (Labour) MP about it - all I get in response is stock letters, usually 3 months out of date, that have been issued by the Home Office in reply to *any* question about ID cards/biometrics. When the ID Cards Bill was going through the Commons, there were very few MPs in the chamber actually debating it (and even then the standard of debate was very poor) - but when it came to the vote, the lobby miraculously filled with MPs who had been told to vote for it. They didn't know/care what was in the Bill, they'd just been told to vote for it. That's how laws get passed in this country.

Child porn threat to airport's 'virtual strip search' scanners

OH EM GEE

I've no idea what to think about this, but I think I'm enjoying the OMGPAEDOS and OMGTERRORISTS fighting each other while I sit back and watch OMGEASTENDERS.

Ralph Lauren says sorry for incredible shrinking pelvis

Responsible

How slippery - "We have learned that we are responsible"

That's like saying "You know that ad with the stick thin mardy girl we did? Well, we did that." Surely if they'd thought they weren't responsible, they wouldn't have bothered with their arsey takedown.

Blunkett and ex-CPS chief turn on Home Office

it's f***ing Blunkett, for f**k's sake!

What a lovely idea. Blunkett's realised that all the auto-drivel spouted by Home Office nonsense-bot Meg Hillier is not helping the already moribund ID cards 'service'. So he's come up with an interesting plan - let's get rid of the actual cards (which nobody has anyway) and bolt all the nasty database stuff onto the passport (which 80% of the population has) instead. That way our caring information-sharing government can say "We're getting rid of ID cards; now you're free to vote for us again" - and then essentially designate the passport as an ID card (which is allowed under the Identity Cards Act). At a stroke, 80% of the population will have an ID card, cunningly disguised as a passport.

It's f***ing Blunkett, for f**k's sake!

Yoof forum eats schoolkids, spits out ID card robodroids

four oh three

Gosh

'Sorry, [IP address] has been banned', says FF3 on trying to access mylifemyid.org. I think they're trying to end our beautiful relationship without telling me. Best log on and find out why.

I'm confused

I've had my account (Ted Bovis) deleted on there without any explanation. As all the other deletees appear to be Home Secretaries or Prime Ministers, I can only assume Ted Bovis is pulling the strings at the Home Office.