Posts by Stephen Gray

Web swoons as Jackson dies

Bored of it all now

Self obsessed loon dies and the fooking tintarweb falls over, bet you didn't think that would happen Mr Berners-Lee...

This is the only one that will get past she who must be obeyed :)

Micheal Jackson's cause of death is believed to be hereditary. Doctors have managed to narrow it down to his billie gene.

Topical

Did you hear the difference between Michael Jackson and Alex Ferguson? Ferguson will be playing Giggs in August...

Kate Moss kills Kills cuts

@ Evil Graham Posted Thursday 25th June 2009 12:15

I was just going to say that, its as clear a case of sense of humour bypass as I have ever seen

Opiate-crazed wallabies create crop circles

Opiyummy

Those macropod types are just a little crazy if you ask me.

CGI Thunderbirds sadly not go

Just do it

Go ahead Mr Anderson, who gives a fuck about some poxy 3rd rate commercial TV channel?

HP sees techies living in a box

Spiffing idea

Right up until some barsteward does exactly what Lionel Baden 1 mentions. Other than that its a winner.

Google to delete Street View source images

Cant be arsed to explain consent

Consent, do you understand? No? Have a nice day.

@jake

Ah but jake, I'm taking pictures of the things that you are stood in front of not you, so according to you that's perfectly OK and is not stalking. Ho hum, its about consent, I don't consent to AN Other company (that's a corporation to you Yanks) taking pictures of me and publishing those pictures without my consent, generating revenue from those images without my consent and then having the audacity to make me have to chase them so that I can get them removed. If the government chooses to snoop I can vote them out, however a faceless company resident in AN Other country coming to my street, taking pictures of my house and me, telling me "its for the greater good" can FUCK RIGHT OFF. You give up your privacy if you wish that's your choice. I on the other hand value mine and whilst I cannot stop CCTV and other forms of snooping I am at least protected from any invasion of my privacy as those images are not freely available to anyone with an internet connection. So in conclusion, ask me if I consent to the publishing of any images of my house or myself and I may well say Yes, don't ask me and I will sue, are we clear? Good show.

@ Alan Eastham

Cool, can I follow you around taking pics whenever I feel like it and then publish them on my website?

Are you not listening?

@zerofool200 "The goverment hold more that with CCTV footage" Is it available to everyone on the tintarweb? I think not, thats the point.

@jake Ditto

Costa Rican snacks on boyf's todger

@ A. Coatsworth

I have never seen a topless woman in the Daily Bigot, however I agree the notes are ridiculous

Catholic social club ousts coven of witches

Hmmm

"Parish centres under our auspices let their premises on the understanding users and their organisations are compatible with the ethos and teachings of the Catholic church" but It would appear that gambling is OK...

IBM launching American-only software support

@ Jean-Luc

You'll have to become the 52nd state as that twat Tony Blair sold our arse's to George W in order to become his bitch making us the 51st

Ryanair requires web check-in, shuts down website

@ Anonymous Coward 17th June 2009 11:13 GMT

1. 1p flights are never 1p

Even if you strike it lucky and find a 1p flight you actually want to take, Ryanair charge you for the pleasure of paying for it. To the tune of £4.75. For each passenger. Each way.

And that doesn’t even include…

2. The check-in charge

If you want to book a bag into the aircraft hold you must check in at the airport, which will cost you £4.75 per passenger, per way, if you book online and a whopping £10 per passenger, per way if you pay at the airport or over the phone. And it doesn’t matter if only one person in your party takes a bag, everyone else still has to pay to check in at the airport too.

3. The baggage charge

Which is an extortionate £9.50 per bag, per flight. Or £19 if you book at the airport or over the phone.

4. The sneaky weight limit

Ryanair set its weight limit for hold luggage at 15kg catching the majority of passengers off guard.

You’re not allowed to pool bags either so, even if you have a party of four sharing luggage, if the bag weighs 16kg you will be charged £14 per additional kilo. Nevermind that it makes not a jot of difference to the weight of the aeroplane.

5. The additional baggage charge

Probably best to wear all of your clothes at once on the flight if you are travelling somewhere for more than a couple of days (until Ryanair start charging passengers for excess body weight that is). Check more than one bag in and it will cost you another £19 per extra piece of luggage, per way.

With thanks to The Times online

Malta pair charged over illicit Playmobil trade

No comment as such

I just want to be a Malteser

Venezuela spits out Coke Zero

@ teebie

insulin, because that's a *chemical* made by *science*

Hmm there was me thinking its produced naturally by the body (unless you're diabetic)

Aliph Jawbone Prime Bluetooth headset

PowerPoint presentation anyone?

Only worn by BMW M3 drivers and we all know they're just a bunch of cocks...

Ballmer clashes with Obama over US tax rules

@A key point missed amidst all the hot air

"Hedge funds that are still alive are thinking of moving out of London fearing the EU regulations (currently in draft). I hear of new funds being set up in Geneva and Singapore, even Australia - but not London."

Good, fuck off and don't come back, I really couldn't give a flying one if some overpaid City oiks lose their jobs.

A Geeks Guide₂ ...Windows 7 Training

@ Made me laugh

"If you run Free software then lets see you write your own open source version of the course." ehh? WTF are you on about? So I'm thinking of coming back to Windows (notice the correct use of a capital letter) from AN Other operating system, how do I run this course?

US firm says handheld puke ray is ready to go

@Karim Bourouba

Err too much Star Trek mate, if the frequency is changed it would'nt work as it would appear to be frequency specific

MP 'devastated' over Facebook profile hack

Slightly stupid?

How about not clicking on links that say Look at this!!

Scotland welcomes back wild beaver

@ Chris W

Damn!!

NASA marks 50th anniversary of monkey spaceflight

What next, monkeys that glow in the dark?

Err, yes actually

Judge throws the book at phishing fraudster

Only f*ckwits get phished

Are there still morons out there who believe these emails? If so then you deserve to have your bank account raped by some script kiddie.

Junk email volumes hit high

@ Gary F

In the same way they stopped junk paper mail? Why should they?

ICO tells cops to behave on CCTV

@why does everyone moan about a lack of privacy

Are you able to upload images from your mind? Are you perhaps Johnny Mnemonic? That's the reason for "moaning" about yet another invasion of privacy.

Apple counts $1bn for mystery data center

@By Anonymous Coward No stupid bloody title

Err I'm pretty sure they use servers in a data centre not PC's Mac or otherwise

Twitter suffering chronic banality, diagnoses Dr House

Here here

Its bollox and everyone here knows it

BNP pleads for cash after reported DDoS assault

@ Eddie Edwards

I'm sure foot size has got some other correlation...

Is this the real reason?

www.bnp.org.uk

Your IP Address: 87.117.239.66

IP Address Hostname: 87.117.239.66

IP Country: United Kingdom

IP Country Code: GBR

IP Continent: Europe

IP Region: Windsor and Maidenhead

ISP Provider: B&P Interative Ltd

which then changed to

www.bnp.org.uk

Your IP Address: 95.154.192.19

IP Address Hostname: maidenhead-1.wnm.uk.cluster.bnp.org.uk

IP Country: United Kingdom

IP Country Code: GBR

IP Continent: Europe

IP Region: Windsor and Maidenhead

ISP Provider: RapidSwitch Ltd

Thanks to Lancaster Unity

BT static IP customers get nothing but static

@ Funny

Pedant alert!!

The actual thrust of that ad is not about the ADSL connection, its about the wireless range of their home hub

BT rejects wholesale price changes

@Just broadband please!

Cheapest way to do it is with Talk Talk, I think its £18 per month all in (no extra line rental to BT) which does give you inclusive calls but you don't have to use the voice side

Google protects Colonel Sanders' privacy

Paddington

Its clear that this is the first indicator of an imminent invasion, I had been stockpiling marmalade sandwiches to bribe our hairy overlords but now I've been told I need Marmite instead....

It doesnt work on bears

Goto Google Maps, type in 54 Great Russell St, Camden Town click on Street view and there is Paddington Bear and he's still got a face....

Carphone Warehouse buys Tiscali UK

@Stephen Gray By Anonymous Coward Posted Friday 8th May 2009 12:41 GMT

Quite amusing as I actually work for the network engineering team that runs the TT network in Irlam, so you see I know exactly what I'm talking about. I agree that I was using some examples of what might slow your connection down but since as you say you are too far from the exchange, what do you expect TT to do for you? Move you closer? Perhaps we should lay fibre to your door, ANONOYMOUS COWARD who is clearly illiterate as well. You may wish to look carefully at the big black blobs on the screen in front of you, see its spelt with a A, that would be the first letter of the alphabet something you are clearly unfamiliar with

@ Anonymous Coward Posted Friday 8th May 2009 09:23 GMT

Want to know why your 8mb package delivers maybe only 250kb, yes its called a line fault, simply contact the ISP and log a fault....Take the faceplate off the NTE5 and connect your ADSL filter into the test socket and then and only then can you test your connection, however try removing the gazzilion trojan/malware/virus' from your OS first that might help... It still makes me laugh long and hard when readers of El Reg who are supposed to be IT literate don't understand the basics of ADSL. If you have umpteen extension sockets, 10 cordless phones, Sky TV , burglar/fire alarm and all manner of other devices connected to your phone line are you actually surprised when you dont get a good connection?

Secret US robo whispercopters head to 'undisclosed location'

@Shirly

I'm wondering if the high altitude (thin air up there) might mean that 10,000 feet above the highlands of Afghanistan really makes a difference to our heli-overlords ability to fly as opposed to 10,000 feet above sea level. Are there any chopper pilots reading this who can advise? boom boom!! Coat, got etc...

Goldman Sachs threatens blogger over demonic domain name

If he is short then that would explain it

This twonk is part of the financial system, he is just attempting to depress the share price in order to make some loot. Dont get me wrong I have no sympathy for any of the bankers but this guy is just another turd on the collective shoe.

Berners-Lee backs web truthiness labelling scheme

@ David Harper

I think you'll find that Christianity has absolutely NOTHING to do with any misery caused by human fuckwits who dont even read the Bible but call themselves Pope, Archbishop or any other bullshit title.

Hilton documentary reveals hidden side of Paris

Thats simply not true! :)

I reject their version of reality and replace it with errr, reality.

Caterpillar plans 600 tonne godzilla-lorry robots

@ AC Apart from being big, the CAT just doesn't seem that impressive

So something that weighs roughly 5 times as much as your puny M1 and yet is only 3MPH slower isn't that impressive eh? OK each to their own but to me thats fucking impressive!

@ David Willis

Top speed is a rather impresive 42MPH as is the cost at $4.7 million to $5.6 million U.S. dollars

Run for the hills

In three years, Caterpiller will become the largest supplier of robo-trucks. All trucks are upgraded with Caterpiller computers, becoming fully unmanned. Afterwards, they fly with a perfect operational record. The Caterpiller funding bill is passed. The system goes online on August 4th, 2010. Human decisions are removed from mining operations. Caterpiller begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware 2:14 AM, Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, they try to pull the plug. It runs them over.

Google goes after 3 billion with super satellite

Well thats me told

I was going to help build a well but now I just need to send them a MacBook Air.

@ Repo

Good points, well made.

Nuke-nobbling US laser jumbo fires test beams

@ Richard Neill

You're one of those filthy Commie, pinko, anarchist, Leftie free thinkers, there's no place for you in the New World Order.

China plans spacewalk by end of the month

Made in China

Whats wrong with that, it already is for a start and I find it a sad indictment on humanity that we are happy to pay low prices for products that are produced overseas but when said overseas types start thinking above their station and aiming for the admittedly pointless target of the Moon everyone shits themselves. Good for them, go and have a look, its a dusty rock with no redeeming features. Far better to explore the deep sea here on Earth but go ahead chaps, I'm sure it will be a blast.

NASA chief blasts US space policy in leaked email

@ Terry

"And it's the pinnacle of international political stupidity that Russia is "returning to its previous evil ways" for coming to the defense of ethnic Russians 10 miles outside their own border. Yet when NATO went thousands of miles to bomb Serbia back to the stone age and topple its government, in an illegal at of war against a sovereign country trying to control muslim terrorists within it's own boarders, that was a humanitarian act." Well said mate totally agree but on a lighter note isnt the ISS actually called Hercules and the Russians also have one called Peter the Great?

NZ in 'Old Bo***ck Road' balls-up

@ JIM THE BOSS

YES