Posts by Tim Elphick

Does Big Tech hire white boys ahead of more skilled black people and/or women?

Non-white-male?

I think the term you're looking for is "male of colour".

True fact: 1 in 4 Brits are now TERRORISTS

I'm part of that quarter

Just so you know, BBC news has been playing clips of his voice. If that counts as hearing part of the film then I don't think this statistic is outrageous as is made out. You'll be familiar with the saying...

Huge FOUR-winged dino SPREAD LEGS to KILL – scientists

Can't find it.

Where's the bit that says how huge it is?

Robot cars to hit Blighty in 2015

Does this mean we can start driving to the pub again?

'World’s dumbest' suspect collared in Facebook sting

Re: definition requested

2 British informal Notice or watch:

‘I noticed him clocking her in the mirror’

http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/clock?q=clock

The quid-a-day nosh challenge: Anyone fancy this fungus I found?

So about 15% of the daily requirement...

You know, I think you might be onto something there.

Google's self-driving car breakthrough: Stop sign no longer a problem

Taxis

A cheaper taxi sounds wonderful but who will glare at the queasy people on a Saturday night, and do the dirty work when it comes to it?

When did you last see a traffic cop giving hand signals?

On the other, er, hand, sometimes I have trouble working out which set of traffic lights apply to me. If it'll do that for me (and take the blame) then bring it on!

US judge Koh won't ban old Samsung gear, tells Apple: Your patents aren't that amazing

Well,

Don't tell Apple, but a Galaxy S2 is the exact reason I haven't bought a new phone. Seems Samsung didn't build in the traditional limited lifespan, still does the job.

New Doctor Who's new costume newly REVEALED by Beeb

Re: > do we know anyone else with an iconic coat that's blue with some red detailing?

Do we? WHO is it?

I liked Ecclestone, maybe this will be more in that direction.

Two Brits face criminal trial for sending 'menacing' tweets

Re: Feminists are irritating

Whilst prejudices either do frustrate me and I am aware that it goes both ways, I feel moved to pick up on a few points:

Perhaps privileged people are best placed to campaign on behalf of those less so. Perhaps if we relied on the most downtrodden to change the world we'd make slow progress.

I haven't experienced much in the way of gender discrimination in my workplaces, however you simplify things by saying women can do anything a man can. One of the things that come to mind first are certain military roles.

Also, perhaps if you are daily told that you should castrated you might like to tone down whatever it is you are doing at the time. It happens to me much less frequently.

Just some thoughts for you.

World+Dog don't care about climate change, never have done

I haven't read the report, I must admit,

but from the article "The economy ranked highest in concern in 15 countries..." which suggests to me that it discusses the average main fear of each country's population. It seems to draw from this that all other matters are disregarded. I doubt the full report is this simplified, but it does lead to recall the saying about lies, damn lies and the other things.

Wind-up bloke Baylis winds up broke, turns to UK gov for help

The group worked together...

so there was a kitty available to go to court with and protect their Inventions

Sorry, but that tickled me.

Mobes, web filth 'pornifying' our kids, warns top Labour MP

Re: Carrier level blocking

It certainly doesn't!

Revealed: The Brit-built GRAVITY-powered light that costs $5

Re: Attracting mosquitoes

If only somebody would invent a red LED.

Woz on Microsoft: Whoa! They really changed things drastically. Whoa!

A good settlement

and a happy ending?

6,000 sign e-petition to put Turing on £10 note

Re: Errm...

They do £50 notes?

LOHAN's fantastical flying truss menaces kiddies

Although I followed PARIS closely,

To be honest I haven't yet read every article about construction wooden trusses so I'm basing my knowledge on your headlines. However heavy a balsa truss might not be, I would still be surprised and probably a bit annoyed if one fell on me.

Also, I have read about released ballons being hazardous to animals when they land.

Also also, sounds like Dave has a similar game to one I like to play with my friends. I call it "If you had to".

Groupon monstered in OFT complaints probe

I don't mind Groupon.

We probably buy some things we shouldn't really, but I've never had a problem. I even had a holiday to Portugal last week. It's fair that they should be honest and responsible in their offers, but from what I see it's largely about verifying the offers from the advertisers, vendors or whatever they are.

70 London 999 calls lost due to clock-change IT glitch

Summer time please

Can i just say, in case anybody important is reading (no offence) that if we're allowed to keep one time can it be summer time? I spend my mornings getting ready for work, but more light in the winter evenings would be nice. I'm fairly confident I haven't got that backwards, have I?

I am aware that time needs other adjustments to keep up with daylight. I don't know if the regular changes we have might make it easier to add in these changes.

Google Wallet falls open after casual hack

I understood the point of the previous post to be that the inclusion of a secure payment method wouldn't encourage theft of the device as it would be useless to any third parties.

Angry Birds boss: Piracy helps us 'get more business'

Don't do it. I've done nothing else for weeks!

PayPal dispute ends in 'violin destruction'

Strings attached.

Nice one.

Post-a-puppy woman hit with cruelty charges

I agree.

Please review the factual basis for your humour before posting.

Becks offloads Posh Porsche on eBay

Parking assist

Ha ha!

Queen set to outlaw ID cards today

If they're destroying the data...

I don't suppose this means my passport will be any cheaper when I renew it next year, does it?

Catfish: A fanfare for Facebook fakery

Ooh!

Good idea, I might use that one...

Amazon randomly censoring incest books

"If underage sex is illegal, why is Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita still available for purchase?"

I'm not sure that's quite what she meant...

US navy to battle Iranian mini-ekranoplan swarms with rayguns

You have a .50 Browning?

Where can I get one?

Vacuum-wielding thieves siphon €500,000 from store safes

I don't follow...

How does drilling a hole in the vacuum tube help? And how do I- Sorry, I mean they get the money out?

Nobel Prize winner on dodgy World Cup ball

Actually, the new ball is very light.

I've read the reviews of the replica on the Argos website.

I just tried telling a colleague the wine joke. I think they're always best when you have to explain them.

Who's this picture even of?

Google geek slammed over XP exploit

Ha ha!

Fanny.

Russia launches Cyrillic top-level domain

My arrow points right.

Is that okay?

Google: Street View spycars did slurp your Wi-Fi

What's it all for?

I suspect that if the network is open for Google to snoop, there are probably more dubious people who would also like to see. It would be my instinct, therefore, that if people didn't want their data shared then they need to make some effort to secure the network or be educated on how to.

I don't however, understand what google might want with the data it was trying to collect. I'm not sure I want my router to be located. What use would this be to Google? Or rather, why are they saying it's okay for them to collect it?

Suprise at spelling snafu sanctions

Can't the university just

print there certificates in thier own spelling? Not that anybody's ever looked at mine, mind. Or my certificate ; )

I might add, that being the old duffer that I am, at 27 I find youth spellings to be rather difficult at times. As for the slang, that just gets silly.

I think Paris gets rather a bad press around here. Not from me. I still would. So long as she was quiet.

Free passports for WWII generation hit 500,000

Re: Fw: FW: Free Passports READ THIS! IT REALLY WORKS!!!!

I agree that people who qualify for this are perhaps not the most inclined to be travelling around the world. Though I dare say some might love it.

You could probably read quite abit into the fact that they seem to be struggling to give biometric passports away. Free is free, after all. I've accepted some terrible junk on this basis. It suggests to me that 8 out of 9 have rejected the kind and generous offer.

I haven't really been keeping track, but I've been shocked recently to learn of the price of passports. I seem to remember mine being about 30 squid way back in 2001.

Perhaps the recipients of these passports could actually save this way by spending the winter abroad, thus avoiding the need to pay their pensions, savings, and unlocked equity to British Gas.

Supercomputer to improve UK weather

Somebody's already done the Crysis joke!

They replaced the Cray system in 2004, and they're replacing the NEC now with one due to run until 2013? Get through them a bit, don't they? I'm sure they could make do with what they've got. There are plenty of internet sites that do weather predictions. Granted, I am starting to think perhaps I should expect the opposite of what the Beeb tells me. Last week it was predicting the rain would stop after Sunday!

x

MPs report back from internet's dark side

Watershed

The sub-site for a Channel 5 programme they used to show (not like that, it was more of a mild kind of Bizarre-on-the-telly kind of thing) used to have a watershed. I remember I was never able to get into it when I was killing time between (and during) lectures at uni. I don't think it was even very rude. Just covering their arses, I suppose.

Just thought you'd like to know.

I'm sure Channel 5 have tried to move upmarket nowadays, but at least when it had regular tits on I used to watch it sometimes.

Doctors: Third babies are the same as patio heaters

Castrate me please.

I'm under pressure to change my mind, but I decided a few years ago that I didn't want any sprogs, my financial situation having something to do with that, but also I feel there are probably enough kids in the world to be getting on with and having extra to provide for probably won't help it.

Also, I'm not that much in love with the world, and what it seems to be becoming, that I want to inflict it on my closest family.

HOWEVER, I do fear that if the situation of people voluntarily reducing the number of their offspring (pre-conception) escalates, we will reverse the survival of the fittest, evolution thingy that's got us where we are, and the scrounging, council mongs who lack the capacity for forethought and consideration for others will be reproducing at a greater rate that the people I would suggest might be more of a contribution to society.

I would also like to point out that they seem to be suggesting that people volunteer, I didn't notice any hint of people enforcing this. Also, I'm sure the idea of rewarding the most productive females has been tried before somewhere...

NZ judge saves girl from bloody silly name

What's wrong with my voice?

I don't know how many times I've been called Jim. Amongst others I've even had Kim. It's got to the point where I make extra effort to pronounce my name extra clearly. I don't understand why I'm afflicted with this.

I once turned up at Sainsbury's on a temp assignment. They'd obviously Chinese Whispered me all over the place, possibly whilst reading Heat or similar, as they seemed to be expecting somebody called Tom Affleck.

Doesn't really relate to what's being said, I know, but having a proper name doesn't necessarily make it much easier!

Ten Tech Toys for Travellers

What's snowblading?

Can I play?

Operation Sprogwatch: Keeping tabs on the kids

Tiger-pebble

I don't get what the security guard said to her. What perspective did it put losing her daughter into?

Also, I didn't get the impression that this is for tracking people against their will, so much as giving them a means of requesting help if they wanted it. Or getting their parents to rush over so they didn't have to walk home.

MoD in £1.75m rush order for SAS backpack radars

Based in Cambridge?

Why don't we just buy the more effective and no doubt cheaper version from the yanks?

Airshow Blighty hits town - 100 years of UK powered flight

Warning!

That is no way a helicopter. Is it? Surely not. What it is though, I couldn't say. Looks to me like a fish of some kind. Like those posh goldfish with the weird eyes. Warning no fish?

File system killer Reiser rejected 3-year sentence

Shanked

That means stabbed, right? Please excuse me, I'm not down with prison lingo.

Yeah, careful with your rights, too.

Microsoft pledges to fight Vista 'myths'

I like Vista

Granted, my PC is now silent as the onboard audio has stopped working, perhaps a SP2 issue. Or maybe it died? Dunno. And though it did work for a while I can't get Unreal Tournament to go any more, but apart from that it's quite nice. I will admit though that I haven't used an Apple since the tiny cube things at school and don't necessarily have a particularly relevant point of reference. I do have a Ubuntu though. But I've seen prettier Linuxes. And even this one's too hard for me.

File system killer leads police to wife's bones

Re: RE: FW: Scumbag

The man's killed his wife and buried her in the woods by his house. It's not really the fact that he lied to his kids that makes me think he's not quite right.

Is the vulture bad taste?

Trousers Brown: Blighty faces 'food security' threat

Food Security

I'll east most things, many of them cold, but I really don't like apples from the fridge.

Also, I can't help feeling like every time I come across and article with some sort of environmental focus, the author seems to be working to prove the fruitlessness of any efforts suggested therein. I understand the concept of arguments and a balanced view, but perhaps Tesco is right after all and every little really does help.

Sorry, but I find all the faffing everybody does these days very frustrating. These days! I'm 27! Oh, Lordy.

Bon-viveur boffin: Biomimetic bird, bat & bug bots are b*llocks

Basically crap

It's been a couple of minutes since I read the article, but I'm fairly certain that at the beginning he suggests his work might act as a reminder to be catious about copying nature. I don't think, from this brief text, he was ruling out all aspects of every natural mechanism.

Also, my new favourite quote (for today at least): "Compared to ordinary aeroplanes, helicopters etc, birds, bats and insects are basically crap". I love that.

And I'd really like to see some wheeled animals. Can't we GM some?

Vulture - should've been a chopper!

Japanese military shamed by USB device

Spelling Mistaeks

Tihs is getting silly now.

Paris. It's my first time!