* Posts by TheProf

1122 publicly visible posts • joined 25 Jun 2008

Big Beardie's watching: Alan Sugar robots spy on Tesco petrol queue

TheProf
Facepalm

I like it!

Going on what TV adverts are like, what are they going to show to that long queue of men? Alcohol? Nope. Cigarettes? Nope. Nuts magazine? No. Razor blades? Yes, Tesco can still sell them to motorists. Well until the 'Radical Mothers' get them banned because children can hurt themselves on the sharp edges.

Do+ you+ use+ Google+? Seemingly+ you+ DO+

TheProf
Happy

That was no lady, that was my wife!

Boom-boom.

Payday loan firms are the WORST. Ugh, my mobe's FILLED with filthy SPAM

TheProf
Headmaster

They did what?

"The Premiership is back! Get up to £50 FREE BET on the weekends Football with [REDACTED]. Click [REDACTED] Today! text STOP to 66644 to opt-out [sic]"

These people sent a txt with "[sic]" as the last word? Oh, they didn't. So why have you put "[sic]" inside the quotation marks?

Call me maybe: Orange loses a segment as competition bites

TheProf
Unhappy

The difficult second paragraph

I can't make any sense out of the second paragraph. Help!

MS Word deserves DEATH says Brit SciFi author Charles Stross

TheProf
Devil

Real authors

Don't real authors use portable Remington typewriters?

Leaping SpaceX GRASSHOPPER ROCKET jumps 2,500ft, lands safely

TheProf
Mushroom

Re: FAB!

Or TB3. I (think I) remember seeing TB3 return to base. Alan has to get the craft back through the opening in the torus-shaped building. At least Scott had a swimming pool he could dump on the flaming wreckage should he get the landing wrong.

Universal's High Fidelity Pure Audio trickles onto Blighty’s Blu-Ray hi-fis

TheProf
Angel

VFM

Hmm.

Amazon are charging (at the time of this post) £10 for The Rolling Stones: GRRR! [Blu-Ray Audio] and £12.49 for the MP3.

I'd go for the Blu-Ray.

Oh, shoppin’ HELL: I’m in the supermarket of the DAMNED

TheProf

Re: There's a very simple cure

"Can I get cashback from the self-service machine? No? I wait in this queue thanks."

Doctor Who to land on the BIG SCREEN and in 3D in November

TheProf
Happy

Re: Nice, except...

Sir,

I admire your dedication to this rather silly television show. Not only watching TV at at 4AM but taking a day off work to boot.

I hope the 3D-Blu-ray is released promptly to fulfil your tri-dimensions desire.

I'm planning to disconnect the phone and have a cup of tea while I watch it.

ITV Granada? Good grief!

Phil Collins' daughter 'will give you A VIRUS' – security bods

TheProf
Happy

Re: Personally if i was spreading a virus

" the Idiot Noisebox they call Beiber."

So you are acquainted with his ourve.

Hands on, er, heads on: We take a gander at Sony's gaming goggles

TheProf
Meh

It's a calling

Bob Dormon, please keep the obsequiousness out of your future reviews. It's not your job to just blithely regurgitate the Sony press release. I, for one, would like to know what you really felt about this device. Is it a ground-breaking, metaphor-mixing leap forward or just another technological blind-alley?

Also, do you leave the light on when you sleep at night?

Barnes & Noble knock Nook slate down to £79

TheProf
Thumb Down

Re: Sainsbury's

You're right. The Nook looks a better deal.

TheProf
Happy

Sainsbury's

I saw an ASUS 7" in Sainsbury's going for £79.99. 8GB and it had a microSD card slot. It was blue, if that's of any use to anyone.

Jeez I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition!

Huawei Ascend Mate: The phondleslab for the skint

TheProf

Re: Screen size

It says in the copy that it's 0.2 inches smaller than the Samsung 6.3 so this thing should be around 6.1 inches across the diagonal.

Huawei are probably keeping shtum on the size because, well, you know, it's all about who's got the biggest.

Ubuntu Edge Linux mobe: 'Made you look,' crows Shuttleworth

TheProf
Holmes

Brave face

"Garnered media attention.............."

Just like the Hindenburg did.

Superstar cluster-Zuck as Facebook tries out celeb-only edition

TheProf
Unhappy

A Warning, Please!

Please El Reg, give a warning when a link in an article leads to the Daily Mail. This sort of thing leaves a trail you know.

Microsoft Patch Tuesday: The '90s called. It wants its 'Ping of Death' back

TheProf
WTF?

What does it all mean?

"Up until then the soon-to-be-pensioned-off OS needs security updating like Gwyneth Paltrow needs ice cream. "

I know what a Gwyneth Paltrow is and I know what ice-cream is. What I don't understand is the relationship implied by the author.

Bloke straps shed to Ford Zephyr and chases it on bike

TheProf
Thumb Up

I agree

Also the film contained more science and less wobbly camerawork than many a recent Horizon.

Guinness: Have a quick bonk over the bar and receive FREE BEER

TheProf

YES!

One of the pubs is near me. Off to The Albert for lunch I think. I certainly won't be going near a McD. Encouraging children to treat the place as a playground? Another reason not to go into their pit of hell.

WAR ON PORN: UK flicks switch on 'I am a pervert' web filters

TheProf
Devil

Re: Better get busy

Clitheroe.

El Reg encounters mObi: R2-D2 for retailers

TheProf
Happy

Indoor rocketry

I am intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

BBC lied to Parliament about doomed £100m IT monster, thunder MPs

TheProf
Devil

I never lie.

Nope. Never told a lie in my whole life. Ever. And never, especially, when my self preservation depended on it. Why, what kind of crazy lunatic would even consider lying in an attempt to preserve their selves?

Liar!

BBC boffins ponder abstruse Ikea-style way of transmitting telly

TheProf

Re: The first thing I'd want ..

Will I be able to stabilise the wobbly camera and crash zooms?

Doctor Who? 12th incarnation sought after Matt Smith quits

TheProf
Alert

The new Doctor

My prediction for the new Doctor: someone you can't put a name to but you'll go 'oh! I know him, he was in the background of that programme we watched last year.'

Sony's board debates breaking up with Spider-Man

TheProf

Spurious connection watch.

"and the weepy ballads of Brit crooner Adele."

Really? She's on XL Records, part of the Beggars Group, a British independent label.

Yahoo! Japan says 22 MEELLION User IDs may have been nabbed

TheProf

It could be one person with 200 million accounts.

ESA retires Herschel space telescope as too hot to handle

TheProf
Headmaster

Re: Liters?

'Meter' too, although a spell checker wouldn't spot the error.

Space elevators, vacuum chutes: What next for big rocket tech?

TheProf
Thumb Up

Fireball XL5

used a system similar to the maglev launch platform except using rockets to power the sled. Gerry Anderson and AC Clarke between them seem to have invented the future.

Another MYSTERY evacuation: Google UK empties swanky offices

TheProf
Facepalm

Simple!

Someone having a crafty cigarette in the toilet. Again.

MasterCard tries to zap PayPal with own-brand mobe wallet

TheProf

Flat broke

Once again I ask the question 'how do you pay (or show proof of a valid purchase or season ticket) when your phone battery inconveniently dies?'

That piece of plastic may be 'old fashioned' but it never runs out of juice.

Google's Glasses: The tech with specs appeal?

TheProf
Unhappy

Below par

Oh come on Dabbs. You can do better than 'I don't like wearing things.'

Harry Potter's Filch conjures Doctor Who's dead first time-lord

TheProf

Re: Twelve Doctors?

You can't blame McGann for that.

Just too damn lazy to reach your phone? Pick up the remote

TheProf
Devil

I want one!

I have Airdroid and PRemoteDroid why wouldn't I want one of these?

UK malls use Google in desperate stab at luring shoppers off the web

TheProf

Re: Bye bye...

I sympathise. I can never find anything I like in the local stores but.....

After a quick web search I found 11 collar styles*. If a shop were to stock 1 of each in the most popular sizes (14.5" to 20", a dozen in all) they'd need to find room for 132 shirts. God help you if you don't want a white one. Or short sleeves.

Just what do you suggest the general department stores do? It's easy to say "come up with a new models, new services and new ideas" but apart from 'stock more grandad shirts' what?

* point, narrow, saint tropez, spread, button-down, round, pin, tab, wing-tip, mandarin, nehru. There may be more.

YES! It's the TARDIS PC!

TheProf
Unhappy

Want one!

But I think near enough £1000 is a bit much.

Take it or break it: the return of the drop test

TheProf
Happy

The S3 smells like Jelly Beans.

Well it made me smile.

Legal wigs to sort out rules on internet defamation, contempt

TheProf
Unhappy

Re: I don't get this.....

"senior Tory from the Thatcher years"

Well that does narrow the field down a lot but how does one jump to a certain name from that list?

TheProf
Unhappy

I don't get this.....

"His name was incorrectly linked to a child abuse case after a botched BBC2 Newsnight programme - which didn't name the peer - reported that a "senior Tory from the Thatcher years" had been accused of child abuse by north Wales care home victim Steve Messham."

So the BBC didn't name him and Mr. Messham was given the incorrect name by the POLICE. Are the police being investigated over this matter? Why have the BBC been pilloried for 'outing' this man. (No names, no prosecution. Oh wait...)

Acer CloudMobile S500 Android phone review

TheProf
Coat

Display

" the freaky super-saturated colours of the Galaxy SIII’s AMOLED display."

SETTINGS:DISPLAY:SCREEN MODE. Set to 'NATURAL'. Fixed.

Bong Broadcasting Corporation. Let ME replace Entwistle

TheProf
WTF?

Too late

Isn't this SKY?

What happened to comics for kids? Hell, what happened to COMICS?

TheProf
Thumb Up

Re: Something I wonder ..

"Why it's more difficult sourcing a toy gun than a real one."

I must use that line in a conversation. I'll even add my own question mark.

'iPhone 5S' said to begin trial production next month

TheProf
Headmaster

Rant

Media people, please, TRIFECTA does not mean 3.

From wikipedia:

In horse racing terminology, a trifecta is a parimutuel bet in which the bettor must predict which horses will finish first, second, and third in exact order.

If you want to sound clever What about:

a triplet of predictions?

a trinity of market forecasts?

a trilogy of analysts estimates?

a triptych of media speculations?

Hell, you could just write about 'three wild guesses'.

What was that about a new mobile telephone?

Crafty app lets phones send data by ultrasound with speakers, mics

TheProf
Meh

I tried it

and it works. All I seem to be able to do though is send a name and phone number. I think I'll stick to Bluetooth for interminably long transfer times.

Mystery robot-bringing UFOs sighted by Indian troops on Tibet border

TheProf
Facepalm

Fox Mulder

never had a camera on him either.

What is it with these people?

Pixar names HQ after Steve Jobs

TheProf

Truth or fiction?

I'm sure I read/heard that Jobs bought Pixar so he'd have at least one company buying his NeXT computers.

Phone lacking NFC pay-by-bonk tech? It can go on a SIM

TheProf
Meh

Used it once

My local Oddbins (Liverpool) have these 'magic' readers. It took the salesperson 3 bonks to get the card read. It wasn't significantly faster than keying in a PIN. It would be a lot quicker with a stolen card I suppose.

Snake-fondling blonde nude punts Polish coffins

TheProf
Childcatcher

SHOCKED!

Good lord! That woman has nipples under those ElReg stickers.

Nipples! It's the end of civilisation as we know it.

Debenhams cafes ban outré terms like 'espresso' and 'cappuccino'

TheProf
Happy

I think it's a good idea!

I've only ever had one cup of coffee from a franchise. Two in the morning at a motorway service station (which in my opinion is the best time to visit one.)

I spent a few moments looking at the confusing array of names but couldn't work out what the hell was what.

Me: Err, could you do me a large ordinary coffee?

Helpful lady behind counter: How about an Americano?

Me: What's that?

HLBC: Black coffee.

Me: Umm, I wanted a white coffee.

HLBC: Would you like me to put some milk in it for you?

Me: Oh ta! Thanks very much.

And she didn't charge me extra for the milk.

Phlegmatic British working woman 1, Media-type focus-group fancy naming scheme 0.

Dr No, Thunderball, Casino Royale? Vote now for the best Bond film

TheProf
Stop

Can't figure Goldfinger

Can someone explain to me why Goldfinger is always rated so highly in these polls?

I've watched it several time and I can't see the attraction.

Bond is rubbish in it. He gets captured while doing some simple spying and spends the rest of the film impotent (well apart from the scene in the hay).

The day is saved by Pussy Galore and the US military. Even the atomic bomb is defused by someone else.

Please, why? It must be more than the DB5 and a woman painted gold.

Skype worm chats up victims - then holds PCs to ransom

TheProf

Re: "lol is this your new profile pic?"

'.......YOUR wallet.......'