* Posts by TheProf

938 posts • joined 25 Jun 2008

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Get outta Huawei! UK mobile network EE selects Ericsson's flat-packed 5G RAN kit to replace Chinese wares

TheProf Silver badge
WTF?

Benefit

How is buying 5g equipment from a Swedish company supposed to benefit America?

You didn't think this through Uncle Donald.

OnePlus 8T review: Solid performance and a great screen make this 5G sub-flagship a delight

TheProf Silver badge
Meh

Fingerprint Reader

Has anyone got any comments on using in-screen fingerprint sensors?

How do people used the front sensors? Just tapping it to check the time while leaving the phone on the table?

I find the one on the back of my current phone very easy to use one-handed. Picking up the phone and once it's in a usable position the fingerprint scanner is in a 'natural' position for my index finger to touch the pad. Of course if I then need to do something useful I need to touch the screen anyway.

Boeing puts Loyal Wingman robot fighter jet through its paces... on the ground

TheProf Silver badge

We're doomed. DOOMED!

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6mc0hp

UK test-and-trace coronavirus data may be handed to police to nab those who aren't self-isolating as required

TheProf Silver badge

12 billion pounds?

World class!

I doff my cap to the fuckwits in charge. They really know how to get value for money.

I mean, it isn't cheap setting up a police state from scratch in only a few months.

We bought a knockoff Lego launchpad kit from China for our Saturn V rocket so you don't have to

TheProf Silver badge

Hmm

While I'd like a launch tower to go with my Lego Saturn V I don't think I'll be getting one of these.

I'm not a Lego* fan and the Saturn V was the first Lego model I'd ever made aside from a very small Star Wars Land Speeder.

I was most impressed with the internal structure of the Saturn V. I know the fuel tanks were probably only there to add structural strength to the model but as I say, I was impressed.

This tower doesn't look like it has a 'wow' factor. Just a slog of clipping girders together. That was the reason I didn't get the ISS model.

* It's not the fault of Lego. I just don't have the ability to knock-up anything from my imagination. Minecraft is something of a dark art too.

Apple's T2 custom secure boot chip is not only insecure, it cannot be fixed without replacing the silicon

TheProf Silver badge
Unhappy

@h0m3us3r, @mcmrarm, @aunali1, @su_rickmark, @axi0mX

Things have changed a lot in a few years. My workmates used to have names like Dave, Brian and Karen.

I still don't know anyone with an 'at' sign in their 'business' name.

What is it about McDonald's, cultural black holes, and not being able to make tech work?

TheProf Silver badge

Re: "we're not sure we'd want to touch it these days"

"You never ever ate the peanuts on a bar for good reason."

Pah! That's just a rumour spread by men so they can eat all the peanuts without worrying about women pinching them.

I can't actually remember the last time I was in a bar with free peanuts on the counter.

Does Beverley Pilkington still appear on the display boards?

Something to consider in case Dell freezes over: HP unfolds 2-in-1 laptop with Intel Tiger Lake brains, bigger screen

TheProf Silver badge
Unhappy

Not really

"Keeping with Dell tradition, the device is highly configurable "

Nope, I can't get a number pad on the XPS that otherwise took my fancy. HP's Envy are the same. Just the spec I want but no numeric pad.

I can live without the optional travel case and compact charger but I want numbers to the right of my keyboard!

How's this for overachieving? Man accused of running software outfit as a Ponzi scheme while on parole from previous fraud

TheProf Silver badge
Pint

Re: Punters should have asked themselves...

"they want to believe that they can Beat The System."

YOU can beat the system and I can show you how.

Have you ever looked at successful people and wondered how they got where they are when they are less talented and capable than you?

I used to be like you; hard working and talented but going nowhere fast. Until one day a friend 'in the know' told me the three easy steps to success and untold riches. The three easy steps I can now reveal to the world for the FIRST time.

Send for my book 'How to Take Money from Those Who Don't Deserve to Have It'

Follow to the letter the easy 3 step instructions inside.

Watch the money roll in.

Send a postal order for 4 pounds 11 shillings to this address......

Don't delay....This offer won't last forever.

Atari threatens to hit fourth VCS shipping deadline, provides pictures of boxes as proof of product delivery

TheProf Silver badge

Re: What's the difference between...

and a naked photo?

NHS COVID-19 app's first weekend: With fundamental testing flaw ironed out, bugs remaining are relatively trivial

TheProf Silver badge

Critical Mass

I've downloaded the Android version and have received the update, presumably to add the missing test feature.

As for whether it does the job it was build for is another matter. There's no indication if you've been in bluetooth range of another phone. Probably not an essential feature but I'd like to know if my phone has been handshaking with others.

As for it draining the battery, I turn the Contract Tracing bit off when I'm at home or otherwise segregated from the great unwashed.

Microsoft leaks 6.5TB in Bing search data via unsecured Elastic server. *Insert 'Wow... that much?' joke here*

TheProf Silver badge
Headmaster

Really?

" the database was vanished from public view"

Was vanished? WAS VANISHED??

My mental gears are making that unfunny grinding noise again.

(Cue thousands of English historians pointing out that Shakespeare used the very same words to describe some bear hastily exiting to the left.)

We're not getting back with Galileo, UK govt tells The Reg, as question marks sprout above its BS*

TheProf Silver badge

Get Harding to Head it

We already have a system of accurate positioning. We just need to get a few more longs sticks and we're away.

British GPS

Nvidia GeForce RTX 3080 debut derailed by website glitches, bots, lack of supply

TheProf Silver badge
Facepalm

Zoinks!

I can't see nVidia being too worried about this. They sold all their cards in a few seconds. Isn't that the business they're in?

As for 'fans' wanting to pay £40,000+ for one. Write out 40,000 times 'I must learn to be patient'.

(Yes, there are 21 bids for a graphics card that costs more than a new Jaguar F-Pace.)

Let's go space truckin': 1970s probe Voyager 1 is now 14 billion miles from home

TheProf Silver badge
Go

Elite: Dangerous

I flew my Viper MkIII out to see the Voyager probes. The game has them farther out than in real life due to it (the game) being set in the future.

Even at many times the speed of light it takes a rather long and boring time to get to them from Earth. Strange to think you can 'hyperspace' in seconds to the nearest star system to save you the bother of the long haul back to Earth.

Elecrow CrowPi2: Neat way to get your boffins-to-be hooked on Linux from an early age and tinkering in no time

TheProf Silver badge

Re: eventally

http://www.computinghistory.org.uk/det/22807/Acorn-A4-Laptop/

Amazon Lex can now speak British English... or simply 'English' if you're British

TheProf Silver badge
Happy

I fell for it.

I think you mean you felled for it.

Take your pick: 'Hack-proof' blockchain-powered padlock defeated by Bluetooth replay attack or 1kg lump hammer

TheProf Silver badge
Facepalm

Suspiciously Short YouTube Video Alert

I played the video at slow speed and it looked to me as if it was the eyelet the lock was connected to that broke off.

Why didn't he wave the broken padlock in front of the camera? Most YT videos take 20 minutes just to say 'hello'.

Still. Bluetooth 'security' for a padlock.

Rocket Lab boss Peter Beck talks to The Reg about crap weather, reusing boosters, and taking a trip to Venus

TheProf Silver badge

Re: If there WAS life on Venus

If there WAS IS life on Venus

What a time for a TITSUP*: Santander down and out on pre-Bank Holiday payday

TheProf Silver badge

"24/7/365"

Would you like to think about that for a moment?

What would you prefer: Satellite-streamed cat GIFs – or a decent early warning of an asteroid apocalypse?

TheProf Silver badge

Re: If only there were some kind of paint with 99.999% absorbtion

"Fasten a half-decent camera to the top of the satellite.........."

That was my first thought. It's the only way to see out of our Dyson Sphere.

Bunch of mugs keep risking life and limb to 'crockery bomb' sad little roundabout

TheProf Silver badge

Re: Oh come on...

But, but, but it's DANGEROUS!!!!!

You can't expect a council to condone anything DANGEROUS!!!!!

How would they explain to the grieving relatives of some stupid arse who got himself or herself (or its-self) mown down that it was just a bit of fun? Councils aren't there for fun.

Dido 'Queen of Carnage' Harding to lead UK's Institute for Health Protection because Test and Trace went so well

TheProf Silver badge

Re: How Dare You Criticise........

I read the online version and yes, they do a healthy line in criticising the Government. They also have a number of partisan feminist writers who come out to play at the weekend.

I expect to read several articles about our favourite Baroness (and that's surely a 'sexist' title these days) defending her from the brickbats thrown by males commentators.

TheProf Silver badge
Devil

How Dare You Criticise........

I expect there'll be a complete vindication of Ms Harding in the feminist press weekend Guardian.

ZX Spectrum reboot promising – steady now – 28MHz of sizzling Speccy speed now boasts improved Wi-Fi

TheProf Silver badge
Pint

£300

Three hundred quid? Bleedin' 'ell! That'll get you a decent 8k capable graphics card.

I can't get my head around people wanting to play 8-bit graphics games. I can remember the disappointment of what appeared on screen as compared to the illustration on the box. 'So the red and blue blocks are supposed to be Superman, and that green square is Jimmy Olsen?'

I think I'll give this a miss and spend £200 on a graphics card and the rest on a nice Scotch whisky.

Bill Gates debunks 'coronavirus vaccine is my 5G mind control microchip implant' conspiracy theory

TheProf Silver badge
Trollface

Hi Ron22

Just created an account so you could insult Bill Gates or do you intend to dazzle us with you insight and wit later on?

Twitter says hack of key staff led to celebrity, politician, biz account hijack mega-spree

TheProf Silver badge
Facepalm

I'm not on twitter

So, here I have a wonnerful offer for all you ElReg listeners.

Send me yr money and Ill dooble it. YES! TRUE!!

Send mnoey to my untrasable offshore accountg and Ill send yoo back dooble.

Dont daly. This gullibility won't last 4ever.*

*Unfortunately this bit is not true.

Modular edutech PC crew opens fresh Kano beans with expanded kit and accessories

TheProf Silver badge

Late 70

A friend of mine did some DJing in the late 1970s and he was in possession of a rather impressive power amp. I possessed some rather inferior domestic lo-fi speakers.

In the interests of science we sacrificed the speakers by turning up the amp power until the speaker coil burned out.

I'd have to agree that clipping is more dangerous to speakers because they made a hell of a lot of noise before melting. As in 'I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW LOUD THESE SPEAKERS ARE!' 'WHAT DID YOU SAY?'

Cambridge student rebuilds Polish Enigma-code-breaking box that paved the way for Turing ... and Victory!

TheProf Silver badge
Thumb Up

Presentation

Good job but I prefer the look of the original. This one needs a bit of a steampunk makeover. (Or cyberpunk. Or WWII punk?)

I was going to ask if anyone knew how it came to be called 'bombe' but I got off my lazy arse and googled it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bomba_(cryptography)

Brit retailer John Lewis to catapult 111 tech bods over to Capgemini weeks after dumping 244 on Wipro

TheProf Silver badge
Unhappy

Howdy Partner

I was under the impression that John Lewis had 'partners' not 'employees'. As in 'we all own the company and have a say in the running and the responsibility and share of the profits.'

I guess that all goes out the window when the takings are down.

Cornish drinkers catch a different kind of buzz as pub installs electric fence at bar

TheProf Silver badge
Devil

Re: Great idea

"words of one syllable"

Does the Welsh language have words of one syllable?

Linus Torvalds banishes masters, slaves and blacklists from the Linux kernel, starting now

TheProf Silver badge

Re: what about the arcane art of black magic?

Where do you practice? The Dark Continent perhaps? Or maybe the Dark side of the Moon?

Oh what a cute little animation... OH MY GOD. (Not acceptable, even in the '80s)

TheProf Silver badge

Re: Head

I wonder what excuse they used for playing the Divinyls 'I Touch Myself' song.

Heir-to-Concorde demo model to debut in October

TheProf Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: Depends on the "boom"

"Concorde broke a glass jug of water in my kitchen around 1985 in Woodley, Reading."

Or that's what you told your mum.

University ordered to stop running women-only job ads

TheProf Silver badge
Facepalm

You can't advertise jobs for just women

But you can still support them in these totally non-discriminatory ways

"More and better internal career development and coaching programs for women

Putting in place resources and opportunities specifically for women, such as reserving training and research money for female scientists, as a way to make jobs more attractive to women."

Mind the airgap: Why nothing focuses the mind like a bit of tech antiquing

TheProf Silver badge
Meh

At a loss

I don't understand this. The author of this piece has spent £40 plus carriage to by an old laptop that doesn't connect to his home network and this allows him to work without interruption.

Wouldn't the same effect be achieved by simply turning off the wifi at home?

An unfortunate bit of product placement for Microsoft as Liverpool celebrates winning some silverware

TheProf Silver badge

Re: Where are the in dipping jokes?

https://www.honestjohn.co.uk/crime/greater-manchester

After 84 years, Japan's Olympus shutters its camera biz, flogs it to private equity – smartphones are just too good

TheProf Silver badge

Re: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

"no mechanical fall-back"

Of course the intrepid OMographer would know to carry spare SR44s.

TheProf Silver badge
Unhappy

OM1

My favourite camera brand gone to the great darkroom in the sky. *sob*.

I can still remember holding an OM1 in a camera shop in the early 1970's. Compared to the Exakta RTL1000 I was toting around the OM was like a tiny jewel. I didn't get an OM1 because by the time I'd saved up the OM2 was out and that became my first OM.

(I did get an OM1 a few years back from the Tat-Market. It was sold as for spares because the mirror was jammed up. Not jammed but the mirror lock switch had been turned and was performing as it should. )

Let's roll the 3d6 dice on today's security drama: Ah, 15, that's LG allegedly hacked, source code stolen by Maze ransomware gang

TheProf Silver badge
Facepalm

Am I missing something?

Answers on a postcard to the usual address.

Apple launches incredible features everyone else had more than a year ago – this time for the 'smart home'

TheProf Silver badge

Re: What's the true cost ?

"someone from Just Eat comes round and very quietly taps on my door"

Quietly taps? I know when a house down the road is getting a delivery. They must employ gorillas at my local office.

When you bork... through a storm: Liverpool do all they can to take advantage of summer transfer, er, Windows

TheProf Silver badge
Pint

The Swan

My last pre-lockdown night out was in the Ship & Mitre. It was a rather subdued night but the beer was excellent so that's a win.

Yes! Go to The Swan and drink Wobbly Bob.

ServiceNow slammed for 'tone deaf' letter telling customers contracts can't be tweaked as COVID-19 batters businesses

TheProf Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: This

And Whooooosh! There goes my reputation for snarky comments.

Gina Mastantuono - Chief Financial Officer - ServiceNow......... is a WOMAN.

TheProf Silver badge
Devil

This

This kind of behaviour just wouldn't happen if there were more women in directorship roles.

Xiaomi and NXP ride a bus to Moscow with a wearable Mastercard

TheProf Silver badge
Angel

Maybe it's

From the people who brought you the movie "Krakatoa, East of Java"

Sony reveals PlayStation 5 will offer heretical no-optical-disk option. And yes, it has an AMD CPU-GPU combo

TheProf Silver badge

Horizontal Refreshment

A quick internet search will provide you with your answer.

TLDR: Yes you can lie it down.

Frenchman scores €50k compensation for suffering 'bore-out' at work after bosses gave him 'menial' tasks

TheProf Silver badge

Re: Oui, Premier ministre

But this isn't a case of 'gardening leave'.

Yeah, great start after sacking human hacks: Microsoft's AI-powered news portal mixes up photos of women-of-color in article about racism

TheProf Silver badge

Don't all famous people look alike?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/1606bd61-7743-4509-bebd-b9abf37ff94d

Mortal wombat: 4 generations of women fight for their lives against murderous marsupial

TheProf Silver badge

Tim the Enchanter

"That rabbit's wombat's got a vicious streak a mile wide!"

All: run away, run away!

Don't panic: An asteroid larger than the Empire State Building is flying past Earth this weekend but we're just fine

TheProf Silver badge
Joke

Lucky break

Hell's Tits!

I've just been out for a walk in Liverpool and I only missed, by 3310 miles, colliding with The Empire State Building.

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