Posts by Andy H

New rules to end cries of 'WTF... a £10 online booking fee?'

TicketMaster "Ticketfast" Charges

£2.50 to use your ink and paper to print your own tickets.

'nuff said

Patent shark‘s copyright claim could bite all Unix

There's no way that Ernest K Malley is going to "Steal my kernel" or Linus's come to that.

Lasers set to replace spark plugs in car engines

Surely you mean

Selachian cranial applications?

Facebook royal rant bishop suspended

Public Office

Good point, but I couldn't think of another description to cover his position. Though Discredited Bullshit-Purveyors would seem to cover most of the people I was thinking of... Clergy, Politicians etc

Rule one of Public Office

NEVER speak the truth

Hacker sinks Royal Navy website

As Zaphod would say...

Ten out of ten for style, but minus several million for good thinking, yeah?

Moses' parting of the Red Sea: New sim explains whole thing

Sounds plausible

This seems quite likely, it had probably happened before. Moses had seen it happen and so when the wind got up he decided to leave, knowing what would happen.

Disney sued for spying on kids with 'zombie cookies'

Useful site

Manage Cookies here...

http://www.macromedia.com/support/documentation/en/flashplayer/help/settings_manager.html

Smart meters pose hacker kill-switch risk, warn boffins

Supply side problem

If the hackers managed to turn off a sizeable proportion of a nations supply in a short space of time. The power stations will still be pumping out megawatt of electricity, all that energy has to go somewhere. Once they sorted the meters out it would be quite a quite a while before people go their supply restored

3D films fall flat

$Title

Avatar worked in 3D as it was novelty, but also Cameron spent a massive amount of money on R&D for the technologies for the film and the film was designed to be 3D so it worked. But other films have jumped on the bandwagon and done it cheaply and failed. I think any 2D / 3D transfer isn't going to help either.

But what I found annoying about 3D is when there are items in the extreme foreground. e.g. The falling ash in avatar my eyes tried to focus on it and but of course it could never come into focus as it was filmed out of focus.

2060: Humvee-sized, bulletproof meat-eating spiders attack

Piccy...

http://www.jorgenlissner.dk/images%5CPictures%5CPardosa_glacialis_female_JL5215_13265.JPG

DARPA seeks self-aware AI robot mega-tanks

Obligitory

I, for one, do not welcome our fully armoured, indestructible, sentient battle bot overlords.

UFO damages Lincolnshire wind turbine

My Guess is...

That there was some kind of material failure due to the extreme cold and one blades that fell off hitting the second damaged blade on the way down.

Either that or the Git Wizard was practising for an eco friendly twat-dangle which would explain the lights seen.

Unhappy people watch more telly

Also in the news....

Large carnivores prefer to defecate in dense arboreal habitats.

BBC's speak you're branes collapses under Brand-Ross sex outrage

Sack him

Chris, how dear you swear in an article on this esteemed and family friendly website. Off to the moderatrix with you, or maybe even the erstwhile Ms Baille here

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1081087/Meet-Voluptua-burlesque-dancer-goth-centre-BBC-radio-prank.html

and here

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1081414/Georgina-Baillie-Brand-Ross-sacked-way-treated-grandfather.html

Apologies to all for having to link to the Daily mail and I have to agree who gives a fuck, apart from outraged DM readers (who don't count anyway)

Virgin Media network downed by scouse power outage

EPO

OK, who lent on the Emergency Power Off switch?

Captain Cyborg to chew the fat with Ultra Hal

Ultra Hal is Channelling aManFromMars

It was easy to tell which conversation was which, but whether there was any actual intelligence there at all is a different matter, both conversation were totally inane.

BTW what's the cyborg equivalent of a Twatdangle?

BOFH: The Mandelboat virus

Prime example of the problems of Wikipedia

Last 'admin' comment

SirFozzie (Talk | contribs) m (Protected Mandelboozer: To keep Reg readers from un-redirecting the latest BOFH excuse *waves* ([edit=autoconfirmed] (indefinite) [move=autoconfirmed] (indefinite)))

" The latest BOFH excuse *waves* " And they try to make out they are an authoritative information repository

Caterpillar plans 600 tonne godzilla-lorry robots

To channel slashdot

whatcouldpossiblygowrong

Vodafone accused of talkingtoofastinradioad

More to the point.

It uses the terms "unlimited" and "Fair Usage Policy" in the same paragraph, which is far more misleading than someone talking quickly.

I work Unlimited hours*

*Fair Usage applies**

**Only when I think its fair to work.

Academic wants to 'free up' English spelling

@Adam Foxton

Where is this Lahndan you speak of? The shurley kaptul sitee of the UK is Lundun.

Which is another problem with the Emeritus prat's idea. Whose pronunciation are we going to use as the phonetic base?

Not a good idea

The problem with changing the way English is spelt is, once leant most people don't read the actual word, only the shape.

This can be proven by those emails that go round every now and again, with the middle letters of the word of the email mixed up, but as long as you keep the first and last letters the same the brain can guess the word from it's shape and the context used.

So if people start changing the length and lopping off letters off words it becomes difficult for existing English readers to read fluently and they will have to relearn the shapes of the words.

& as 4 tx spk U snd lik a ttl twt whn red bck.

Hadron boffins: Our meddling will not destroy universe

@Rob

You and Prof Cox owe me a new keyboard and a fresh coffee.

If only all people in public were this blunt and honest!

Hopefully it'll be ok

Comics ray hit earth with the power a million times more powerfully than the energies LHC can produce.

E-voting outfit confesses vote-dropping software bug

@Brimful

Don't insult chimps

Breakup with Sadville lion ends in kidnap plot, duct-taped dog

@Eugene

If you only allowed sane people into Sadville it would be empty.

Home Office bankrolls plastic plod 'documentaries'

Black hole

Not a Sci-fi show but a programme highlighting government IT procurement

and its sequel Black Hole II: The quantum of expense.

Home Office minister gets tough, then gets stuck

Some alternatives

adamant, adamantine, aggressive, bold, crustaceous, durable, enduring, feisty, fibrous, forceful, hard-nosed, hardy, impassive, inured, resilient, resistant, spartan, stoical, stubborn, tenacious, threatening.

Baptist church in assault rifle giveaway

@Alan Mellor

Although there is no direct IT / Paris angle to the article. It's interesting none the less. The humour of the article comes the point that Christianity is meant to be a peaceful religion. Turn the other cheek, love thy neighbour etc. So for a Church to give-away gun is funny, in a very sad way.

Plus with it being down south where there is a tendency to be extremely bigoted, just makes it funnier (or more tragic).

To Quote, Rev Clarkson of the church of the latter day motorist, in regard to his journey down south "They've shot their own sign, what are they doing to do to us?"

Devil dog laughs in the face of Taser

@They tased the wrong one

Nearly all dogs are soppy if brought up right and nearly all kids are respectful valuable members of society if brought up right too, so as the kid was some chav scum the poor dog didn't stand a chance