* Posts by Les Matthew

541 posts • joined 17 Apr 2007

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British youths think Churchill went to moon

Les Matthew
Flame

Well done, an article title

worthy of the currant bun and the daily mail.

Four to ten year olds are youths? I tend to think of youths being a bit older than that.

I'm 54 and you know what, I sure don't remember getting taught about Churchill in primary school.

I do remember a lot of reading, writing, arithmetic and that great Scottish attitude adjuster the tawse

http://www.archivist.f2s.com/cpa/instruments/scotsbelt.htm

Lonely Paris Hilton seeks new best friend

Les Matthew

@Sarah Bee

"I've got to say - none of you would have the level of Paris-awareness that you do if she didn't have excellent business instincts."

I kid you not.

El Reg taught me everything I know. I really didn't see what was such a big deal about a hotel in Paris, France.

Now where is the "penny dropped" icon. ;)

Intel's first quad-core mobile aimed at gamers

Les Matthew

How many games

make full use of multiple cores?

US woman spends two years on boyfriend's toilet

Les Matthew
Thumb Up

"refused to cooperate"

She gave them the bums rush then? ;)

Man cuffed for lamppost sex outrage

Les Matthew
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@Rebecca Putman

"Your strawman doesn't stand."

Nice, a double entendre and a put-down all in one. ;)

Polish builder sacked for humping hoover

Les Matthew
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Re: Has El Reg. Sold His Sole to News Corp.?

Look at the top of the page.

El Reg is red top too. ;)

Gooner fan site nobbled by malware

Les Matthew

@Test Man

"Evil team, evil website

;)"

You a Spurs supporter then? ;)

Steve Ballmer lies to my mother

Les Matthew

Re: Maybe your mother is lying to you...

"By Cade Metz in San Francisco"

and

"But just minutes later, I received an email my mother. "It is 7:30 pm in Raleigh, North Carolina."

There's brace of clues for you. ;)

BT preps 2000 per cent evening call price hike

Les Matthew

@Robert Cunningham

"Why should people who make no commitment on a contract get the same level of discount as those who do commit."

I've had a BT phone line for 33 years. Is that not commitment enough?

Confidential Home Office data turns up in laptop on eBay

Les Matthew
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Re: Two questions

"Also, as an aside - who the hell hides CDs under a laptop keyboard?"

Don't CD drives on laptops sit under the keyboard? ;)

US, EU seize counterfeit computer goods

Les Matthew

Re: counterfeit what?

I reckon it's things like usb flash drives and the like.

Fraud guardian LifeLock accused of fraud

Les Matthew

@Marvin the Martian

Just a gas bill?

Last year I applied for a library ticket and I needed 3 separate forms of ID to get it.

Secret printer ID codes may breach EU privacy laws

Les Matthew

Re: Easily sorted

"To be honest this is only a serious concern if you've registered your printer & serial number"

Of course it could never be traced back to the credit/debit card that was used when purchasing it.

Barcodes do make for an easy life.

Oz teen elephant pregnancy sparks protests

Les Matthew
Coat

She can't remember who the father is

because she was Elephants trunk at the time.

Students win appeal against cyberjihad convictions

Les Matthew
Joke

Re: Freedom fighters vs Terrorists

"Did the American "freedom fighters" of the Revolution hide in the trees and shoot at the British soldiers, or did they hide in the trees and shoot at the British soldiers' wives and kids?"

They did worse.

They poured our tea into the sea.

Armed police swoop on MP3-packing mechanic

Les Matthew

@crashIO

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=98741&in_page_id=34

My my, isn't jumping to conclusions a wonderful thing. ;)

Firefox 3 beta is live

Les Matthew

@Alex Read

From the Mozilla page:

"Please note: We do not recommend that anyone other than developers and testers download the Firefox 3 Beta 3 milestone release. It is intended for testing purposes only."

Since when does the above mean "RE: Not available to casual users" ?

ISPs demand record biz pays up if cut-off P2P users sue

Les Matthew
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@Sarah Bee

"Britney's last album is brill. So there."

Isn't that a one month posting ban offence? ;)

GCap reaches for DAB off switch

Les Matthew

"never really caught on"

This is a surprise?

They are over-priced, look naff and the broadcast quality is piss poor.

Plus, my Sony ICF 5500 that I bought in 1973 is still going strong.

eBayer invites buyers to rip him off

Les Matthew
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@John Bayly

"If you want to get rid of unneeded stuff, freecycle it"

Then wait for it to appear on eBay.

Smith plugs into wired police plans

Les Matthew

Are any of you here old enough to remember

the old Suss Law and how that was abused?

eBay gets negative feedback about ban on negative feedback

Les Matthew

I'm sure this has nothing to do

with HMRC's recent interest in eBay traders.

SCO details bleak future

Les Matthew

"Face it SCO -- your time has come and gone"

"bet their lawyers get paid either way."

Maybe not. Didn't their lawyers get some sort of stake in SCO as payment?

M&S flogs lingerie model with 'durable hardwood feet'

Les Matthew
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"hardwood feet"

A nice pair of feet for sure.

Healthy? You're a burden on the state

Les Matthew

"Dead people don't contribute anything in tax"

You want to bet?

Never heard of "Death Duties"?

Music industry sues Baidu

Les Matthew
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@John Cobb

"Who always misreads Phonographic wrong the on first read?"

What a coincidence. I always misread it as Photographic too.

Old aircraft artefacts become office accessories

Les Matthew

The BOFH

would have some serious fun with this.

RealPlayer dinged by software watchdog group

Les Matthew
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Has nobody heard of

Real Alternative?

Miserable? It must be U

Les Matthew
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RE: Hey! Less of the Coventry slams!

"Gone anonymous cowardliness only so I dont get any of you chav scum coming looking for me! ;-)"

Nah, they'll just send you to Coventry. ;)

Germans launch flights for nudists

Les Matthew

"fly as nature intended"

So they will be covered in feathers and not naked at all? ;)

MPs slam costly war-tech projects at MoD

Les Matthew

@Dave Ross

"another one is kicking off between the UK and Russia atm..."

Especially if they turn the gas off. ;)

Dallas man accidentally shoots self in head

Les Matthew
Coat

@Eugene Goodrich

"They read his mind. On the wall near where he was standing."

They said he was a very broad minded person.

and

The Police are keeping an open mind....

Yes, I have a sick sense of humour.

Driller Killer unleashed on UK public

Les Matthew

@Mr Chris

"And I bet he hasn't even watched the films, either."

He's not that daft then. ;)

ABC fined $1.43m for NYPD Blue a*se flash

Les Matthew
Thumb Up

@Graham Bartlett

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=barking+spider

number 7 at the bottom of the page. ;)

The chocolate starfish was a new one for me too.

DuBreq Stylophone pocket organ makes a comeback

Les Matthew

RE: mp3 input?

The "vibro knob" sounds like a buzzword to me.

Leaked email reveals civil service laptop rules

Les Matthew

RE: WTF...

"It warns staff that the first step is that no unencrypted laptops or drives containing personal data should be taken outside secured office premises."

Maybe reading the article might help you see the point. ;)

100Mbit/s sewer broadband rollout coming your way

Les Matthew
Joke

A whole new meaning for

packet loss?

Illegal immigrants spared the gamma-ray scanner

Les Matthew

@ Nev

"'cause it now seems to be full of twats."

It's always been full of them, but now they have the internet. ;)

Israel electric car project aims to wipe out oil

Les Matthew

Re: "wipe out oil"

"As you point out, where are they going to get the electricity from to recharge the cars?"

Well, as they have had nuclear weapons for quite some time I would imagine that power stations of that ilk would not be a problem.

Spirit discovers life on Mars

Les Matthew
Thumb Up

Re: amanfromMars

But not recently from what I've seen.

Now we know why. ;)

Star Trek XI teaser trailer beams onto web

Les Matthew
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@ android

"... it could still suck donkey balls...

btw wrath of khan was the best one

(quickly zips up astebos suit)"

Displaying two different types of suicidal tendency in a short three line post must surely be a record. ;)

Former top brass call for first-strike nuke option

Les Matthew

@ Tom Chiverton

"Seriously- pre-emptive nuclear strikes went down with the Wall, didn't they ?"

Apparently not.

Les Matthew

Oh joy

WMD in 45 minutes anyone?

Paul Burrell pulls website amid 'hate mail' blitz

Les Matthew

@Mountford D

"I've met Paul Burrell and he is a really nice chap"

You've met him once?

And you now know him well enough do you?

AMD Phenom 9500 processor

Les Matthew

@matt

From what I've seen about Phenom, the 9600 is the better option if you want to overclock.

Lightsaber voted top movie weapon

Les Matthew
Joke

Excuse me

but didn't John Holmes have the best movie weapon? ;)

Get a celebrity autograph on your mobile phone

Les Matthew

Correction

You get a copy of an autograph. ;)

Acquisition-happy Game not anti-competitive

Les Matthew

@The last bastion

http://www.cex.co.uk/Stores/

Computer exchange has been doing 2nd user and retro for longer and is still going.

Government piles filesharing pressure on UK ISPs

Les Matthew

Re: Re: So does this mean...

"ISPs can tell the difference between P2P and non-P2P packets."

But can they tell the difference between legal P2P packets and illegal P2P packets?

Why do women get plastered at fancy dress parties?

Les Matthew

@The Other Steve

"Dr Clapp ? Investigating drunken chicks at sexually themed parties ? For real ?"

Clapp Traps? ;)

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