* Posts by Les Matthew

541 posts • joined 17 Apr 2007


Drivers on the phone face the slammer

Les Matthew
Thumb Up


If it's those car stereo's that you can hear coming a mile off I'm all for it. ;)

NHS frets over Brits' genitalia

Les Matthew

What a load of

bollocks, or not as the case may be.

US surgeon snaps patient's tattooed todger

Les Matthew

I had to laugh

They could only fit six letters on it? ;)

BusinessWeek novel turns Google's cloud into epic hero

Les Matthew
Thumb Up

Shameless plug

for Vulture Central 2.2


Team Id: 69263

Only 190 members when we had a cast of thousands with grid.org

And it is kind of on topic. ;)

HMRC mislays 1.5kg of Bolivian marching powder

Les Matthew

I keep getting this image

Of somebody chopping out lots of lines on the back of a couple of CD jewel cases. ;)

Les Matthew

That's an amount

not to be sniffed at.

Gollum to play Haddock in Tintin

Les Matthew

Eurotrash anyone?

I'm sure I remember seeing a pr0n version of a Tin Tin comic previewed on that tv program sometime back in the 90's.

That's today's bit of useless trivia out of the way then.

London PR outfit in sex-on-desk email shocker

Les Matthew

"Rock Up & Play"

Or "Cock Up & Play"?

Warner Bros to remake Clash of the Titans

Les Matthew

@Andy Hards

To coin a much used phrase form another well known IT news Site.

You must be new here. ;)

Brit workers: The Xmas skive starts today

Les Matthew

Re: None of that, here...

"But then again, I can skive off when I take my holidays for New Year. :)"

You skive off on your holidays?

Do you sneak off back to work? ;)

Drink-drive chain gang obliged to bury dead alcoholics

Les Matthew

Do drunk drivers in the USA

get a 12 month ban or more like they do here in the UK?

BBC redesigns and 'widgetizes' homepage

Les Matthew

Re: Overdesigned

Did you take a look at the top left of the page?

US gov silent robot white (?) helicopter prangs itself

Les Matthew

@Stu Reeves

"I demand a White helicopters logo !"

On a white background?

Paris Hilton cavorts naked in middle of desert

Les Matthew

Am I the only person

that doesn't find Paris Hilton attractive? ;)

UK.gov data review calls for... data

Les Matthew
Thumb Up


"nah, you Scots are way better off than us now, apart from the Paris Hilton coverage of course."

More money and no Paris Hilton?

Now that is what I call a win win situation.

Wigan man traps todger in metal ring

Les Matthew

Re: Is it my imagination...

Is there ever an IT angle in Lesters articles? ;)

IBM buys Arsenal...

Les Matthew

Re: Got me worried there

you mean it's worse than the questionable Russian? ;)

Paris and Britney top US kids' Santa naughty list

Les Matthew

There is no way

that I'd ever want Santa discharging his sack in my bedroom.

US judge debenched for jailing entire courtroom

Les Matthew

Who will be first to give him

a ringing endorsement?

Lost HMRC discs pop up on eBay

Les Matthew

@Nano nano

Hate to burst your bubble (yes I lie) Winrar can open tar.bz2 files. ;)

Iowa house swallowed in grain bin collapse

Les Matthew

Re: I was...

"going to post a witty comment but I decided it was too corny."

There is more than a grain of truth in that.

Is it just me or is El Reg running like a dog atm?

Lifelike, sexy robot infiltrators influence Belgian mobs

Les Matthew

Re: It looks just like a "telephunken U-47"

"May contain highly technical content requiring degree-level education or above"

Or knowledge of Frank Zappa and related work. :P

Reckless loss of laptop data? ICO calls for stiff fines

Les Matthew


"Just scan in a doctors handwritten notes. If they are anything like their prescription forms, it will be impossible to read the data."


My pharmacist can crack them in seconds. :P ;)

Don't give booze to elephants, sobs Paris Hilton

Les Matthew

My twisted mind

Do Elephants suffer from the beer goggle effect too? ;)

Hardcore Dalek builders plan galactic domination

Les Matthew


for sure that is some serious geek/nerd pr0n. ;)

Manhunt, mods and maddened mothers

Les Matthew

"I'm crossing my fingers"

A much safer bet than holding ones breath on this one methinks. ;)

iPhone rubber fingers not a hoax, inventor insists

Les Matthew

Is it just me

rubbers in the "Hardware" section?

Jordan mulls mamtastic epitaph

Les Matthew

Here I lie

when it all goes tits up.

Sick Brit yobs graffiti dog

Les Matthew

She is lucky

If a dog was left on its own outside a shop in North London it would have been stolen in less than ten minutes.

Cops and Home Office plot uber-CCTV network

Les Matthew


I see plenty of hooded chavs on the street, but what are these "coppers" you talk about?

Met's de Menezes photo 'manipulated', says prosecution

Les Matthew

Gives a whole new meaning to


@Mad Mike

"does it matter whether the photo was changed or not"

I don't know in what context the photograph was used but tampering with evidence springs to mind. If it doesn't matter in this case will it matter in any other?

US Patent Office decimates Amazon's 1-Click Patent

Les Matthew

As he worked on Lord of The Rings.

One click to rule them all. ;)

Unimpressed Sheilas mock boy racers' todgers

Les Matthew

@Ron Hughes

"I drive slowly & carefully, but the pink 'un is still diminutive."

Ron, the "Post anonymously" check-box is there for a reason. ;)

DA suppressed Alabama Baptist pastor autopsy

Les Matthew

Since when

has one less Tory MP been sad news? ;)

BT home router wide open to hijackers

Les Matthew

@@Anonymous Coward

To me the green icon looks like the invisible man with his raincoat on getting a hand job from some obliging fellow.

I'm definitely not going near any tooltip for that. ;)

MS admits Halo 3 'disc unreadable' errors

Les Matthew
Gates Halo

If only for the icon

I couldn't resist. ;)

Lawmaker shows nudie pic to high school seniors

Les Matthew

@ Rob McDougall

"Does anyone remember when Richard & Judy (british "celebrities") went up to get an award at some contrived show and Judy's nipple was hanging out?"

You know, some things should be against the law. ;)

Les Matthew

A couple of

unexpected points in that powerpoint presentation then.

Pipex-Intel WiMAX emerges as Freedom4

Les Matthew
Thumb Down

Jings, crivens and help ma bob.

It's Friday and there is no "Beer" icon!

Late, fast and pricey: O2 broadband is go

Les Matthew

@ Unlimited does NOT have a new meaning.

"But the chances of anybody intelligent ever being employed by OFCOM or ASA ???"

Find the answer below. ;)


US men wrangle over three-year-old amputated leg

Les Matthew

Endless mileage

for bad jokes with this one.

He hopes to form a partnership with Wood and leg.

Somebody is going to have to stump up some readies.

This case doesn't have a leg to stand on.

There's three to be going on with. ;)

Opportunity goes panoramic on Victoria

Les Matthew

Re: wot?


MS confirms Halo 3 Limited Edn box scratch bug

Les Matthew

Shock horror

Halo 3 is up to scratch.

Now where did I leave my coat.

China spots 42 new glaciers

Les Matthew

Re: How technology changes in 100 years, eh

Perhaps they used these.


Judge parks 172mph Porsche driver for 10 weeks

Les Matthew

Re: re: 10 Weeks in Jail...

"But then again, how can we expect 'Justice' to be meted out, when the people, 'meting' it out, are all over 70yrs old(well nearly) and have never driven their own cars. Oh my word, when will we get some common sense in our law courts."

Indeed, let's have teenage muggers, burglars and joy riders sitting on the bench.

At least they will know what they are on about. ;)

Smiley celebrates 25th birthday

Les Matthew

Re: The art of tossing

You can always rely on Lester to pull it off.

Microsoft sets spinners on court verdict

Les Matthew

Re: Here's the latest from our sponsors...

And mine smells of roses! ;)

Novell fills Microsoft Silverlight hole

Les Matthew


"You really think Flash supported every two-bit browser and platform out of the box when it first came out?"

Windows and IE? ;)

Why oh why do rock stars die young?

Les Matthew

Re: Shoddy Research..

"Rock Star" crack comes in rocks. Get it?

Manhunt 2 tweaked to beat US sales ban

Les Matthew

Re: The mind boggles...

Wasn't the land of the free in the front of the queue in giving it an AO rating, which is as good as a ban?

Has everyone everywhere been able to play it apart from us Brits?



Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2020