Posts by Wokstation

Brits take iTablet moniker for 12in iPad rival

Looks like...

...looks like it supports flash, going by the screenshot in the photograph.

'You own the road!': Google gets spanking from media giant

Buy a new car

It doesn't matter what car I drive, the owner of the road will still be the same...

Manchester ID staff suffer isolation as new dawn fades

How many were...

How many of that 1,200 were civil servants, I wonder?

European court pulls plugs on terror stop and search

It didn't take long for them to say they'll ignore it:

From The Times:

"Despite the judgment, Alan Johnson, the Home Secretary, said that police would continue to use the powers, which allow them to stop and search people without having to suspect them of involvement in terrorism."

So "lalala we can't hear you" then, just like with PHORM...

Home Office misses Brussels' Phorm deadline

The Broadband Tax

BT: "Look, we've got this thing. It intercepts what people send across the internet and gives them adverts on the basis"

UK.Gov: "Erm, that's illegal under RIPA"

BT: "You want us to upgrade our infrastructure?"

UK.Gov: "Yes"

BT: "Then pay for it"

UK.Gov: "No"

BT: "Well we're not paying for it, it might dent our profits. So let us do this and we'll get some more money, see... and some of that money we may spend on infrastructure!"

UK.Gov: "Hmm, ok."

*later, after the PHORM PHIASCO*

Uk.Gov: "So about that infrastructure?"

BT: "We're still not paying for it. The profit margin is too small"

UK.Gov: "Well, it was the public that stopped you using PHORM."

BT: "Yes..."

UK.Gov: "Let's pop a tax on their ADSL lines. Won't pay by PHORM? They can pay direct. Either way, they're paying".

That's how it seems to me.

Opera plugs hole in Great Firewall of China

No choice?

You mean Opera will over-ride any auto-update options set to "no"?

New sensitive space gloves: NASA spends wad freely

Does he really need a glove?

That's clearly Clark Kent in the photograph!

Arkansas cop tasers 10-year-old girl

Of course...

...of course, this sort of thing would NEVER happen here in Blighty, would it? No, we've restricted tasers to trained firearms officers, haven't we?

Oh hang on, we haven't, have we?

Had she been armed I don't think a taser would be OTT, but for a kick in the snardlies?

Whitehall plans 'White Noise' phone network collapse

Carrier Pidgeons and semaphore?

"'We'd be reduced to carrier pigeons and semaphore if we didn't have some form of communications,' Smith explained", really? So what about, y'know, radio?

Home Office makes nice cartoon ID card ad

"Businesses need to ensure that their staff are ready to recognise the National Identity Card"

A real one, or a fake, cloned one? Do they get the reader kit that no-one else seems to be getting?

North Wales Police institute new happiness law

Have a look in their comments section

You'll see someone claiming to be that police officer, behaving most unprofessionally.

Microsoft $358m patent violation damages tossed

Sounds like copyright infringers should get that guy...

..."RIAA, please prove that the accused cost you $10,000, as this is what you claim in damages".

Martha Lane-Fox: No broadband, no citizenship

Start button NOT needed

You actually don't need to use the start button to shut down windows. Alt-F4 on the desktop, followed by choosing "shut down" does the same job. So does CTRL-ALT-DEL, then clicking "Shutdown" within the shutdown menu.

Sorry. Pedant attack.

Copyright cops raid Filesoup admin

"the seized items have been handed by police to FACT for computer forensics investigation"

FACT are in a position to take criminal evidence for analysis? I thought that was a job for the Forensic Science Service.

El Reg to launch space paper plane

Given that there are two craft..

...I'm thinking Twatdangle would be perfect for the launch vehicle. The plane'd be Twatdangling beneath.

Name: Big Mod 1

(After the Moderatrix, of course).

Also I suggest you contact that cheese company and ask them for a thin sliver of their finest cheddar to use as nose-ballast.

Keep it made of paper, waterproofed naturally, so that you can enter it into the Guinness Book of Records.

Unpatched Firefox flaw lets fox into henhouse

NoScript FTW?

Is NoScript any good at halting this attack vector, oh lords of El Reg?

Yorkshire cops accused of copyright theft

@Those who say it's not copyright because it's facts

The errors are not facts. The errors are essentially pieces of fiction. West Yorks Police allegedly copied the errors... therefore have copied intellectual property.

Unless you can show the errors to not be errors, but to be facts...

Mobile directory blames press for latest failure

"We will not be taking ex-directory requests by phone or text whilst the service is not operational"

If I send them a DPA compliance notice, surely they have to abide by it? I don't care if they're not taking ex-directory requests, because I thought they HAD to by law? (Ok, you can still do it by post, reading between the lines, but still... the statement seems designed to try to stop people from requesting their details be removed from the database).

Police decline to reopen mobile phone hacking case

Like I said on the original article...

...told ya so.

Let's just hope the victims get to sue the butt off the paper.

UK tabloid in phone hacking probe

What did I tell ya? NFA'd!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8143120.stm

Yup, no further action.

But they gave consent! No, they did!

See, by owning a phone they were giving implied consent to be intercepted! So it's all ok and alright and above-board and no-one will get in any trouble at all because there was no intent to break the law!

Well, it worked for BT and PHORM...

Met warns officers off photographers

Some refreshing news for once!

I don't often approve of the Met with regard to photography, but in this instance I certainly do!

Linux patch sidesteps Microsoft's TomTom patent

Given that MS did/does that whole patent-grabbing thing...

...such as trying to patent smilies through Abstract Patents, it's interesting that they're now getting their patent lawyers out.

Phorm incinerates $50m in 12 months

Puts a smile on my face, it does

http://www.google.com/finance?q=LON:PHRM

Oh yes, it really, really, does.

Of course, if they deploy in Korea and Europe eventually rule that they require the permission of website owners for interception (unlikely, I know, but bear with me)... couldn't they be prosecuted here for intercepting a UK-hosted site with their server in Korea...?

Home Office kicks ID cards into touch

Yatta!

We need a Hiro icon for moments of jubilation...

Gay animals going at it like rabbits

It's hardly news...

From National Geographic, in 2004:

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2004/07/0722_040722_gayanimal.html

"Zoologists are discovering that homosexual and bisexual activity is not unknown within the animal kingdom.

Roy and Silo, two male chinstrap penguins at New York's Central Park Zoo have been inseparable for six years now. They display classic pair-bonding behavior—entwining of necks, mutual preening, flipper flapping, and the rest. They also have sex, while ignoring potential female mates. "

Gordon 'to sacky' Wacky Jacqui

Jackboot Jacqui gets the boot!

Alas, nothing so dramatic. She "stands down", but not because she's done anything wrong, perish the thought!

Fans decry tennis gal's breast-slash plan

Balls!

She can play with... *SMACK* Sorry Mrs Wok... erm... I was watching tennis dear. What do you mean I don't like tennis? I do now, I think it's quite *SMACK* sorry dear, sorry... sorry...)

Government rejects Lords' surveillance criticism

But if they listened, they'd have to drop their motto

"Rub some database on it"

Taking a first bite out of Wolfram Alpha

It also cannot...

...tell me how many stomachs a badger or cow has.

Nor is it able to give a full answer to "how many kilobytes per megabyte", because it ignores what's been the usual since the 60's and only gives the SI answer. It doesn't even mention that until recently, a meg was 1024kb - even though almost every single dictionary (a source that should be aggregated) defines a megabyte using the 1960's method, not the SI method.

So it's ok... as long as you check it's answers through Google. So... might as well just Google it?

ContactPoint goes live despite security fears

@Topsy

If a complaint was made to the police about the allegation, it will show up on your Enhanced CRB check for the rest of your life. It's already cost people their jobs (google this place for an article on "malicious gossip could cost you your job").

How else are they meant to seed the NIDCDB?

They know most people won't willingly give their details, so let's just log everyone as they're born and copy/paste the data over when the NIDCDB is live!

2060: Humvee-sized, bulletproof meat-eating spiders attack

But they're squishy on the inside...

...the percussive effect of a high-cal rifle on the armour would shirely do a lot of internal damage?

Revealed: Mega City One's top e-car - according to Peugeot

Oui!

Je suis la loi!

Microsoft's DNA won't permit Oracle-Sun deal

Don't forget the stick, man!

"and various mice and keyboards."

And joysticks. Really-not-that-bad joysticks. Really-not-that-bad joysticks that Redmond would love us all to forget about. Really-not-that-bad joysticks that Redmond themselves seem to have forgotten about, dropping support for them as they did a long time ago.

ICO rules against British Council

Heaven Forbid...

"the ICO has required the orgnisation to sign a formal undertaking of reasonable measures to keep personal information secure in future."

Yes, heaven forbid the ICO actually punish them...

Tory terror police were 'fishing' for Liberty

@Anon Coward (DNA samples)

Refusal to give a cypher key on demand from the police is a criminal offense...

Leaving PCs on costing UK business millions

And if you don't turn 'em off...

...at least run Boinc on 'em!

ID cards not compulsory after all, says Home Office

What do you mean I can't have...

...x, y or z without an ID card? The government said I didn't have to have one!

Oh I see, I get to choose not to have x, y, z, therefore it's a choice! Of course!

I trust governments with using, securing and maintaining databases about as far as I could throw John Prescott.

BT names first 29 exchanges for fibre rollout

@Adam

Hadn't you noticed? London's getting bigger...

I guess it was too much to hope...

...for anything in Suffolk. Bah humbug, etc, etc. I still can't get over half meg ADSL :(

Cops wanted compulsory DNA cards

"potential for success is not in doubt. "

"We want it, therefore we're right. Anyone else must be wrong".

Health trust pushing on with record sharing

Is it a sales thing or not?

What's not clear in the article is if the patient is expected to pay for services from these Bupa nurses... it sound a bit like the Bupa nurse gets to target a condition, eg asthma, and then contact all patient with that condition and effectively try to sell them a private healthcare session?

Or have I got it wrong?

Man turns finger into storage

Pull my finger!

Fnar, fnar...

National Express to 'ban' trainspotting

This is a local station, for local people. There's nothing for you here!

Most of the stations round here on the East Coast Line are unmanned, which'd make this a bit tricky to enforce. Those that aren't unmanned have large sections of track visible from public land... including level crossings. All they'll do is move the spotters to the unmanned stations and potentially dangerous, un-supervised, areas.

Pro-filesharing Swedish party hopes for seat in Brussels

"Everyone below the age of 35 file shares"

I don't...

Channel 4 fails to open archives to Mac, Linux fans

Given that C4 receives public money..

..isn't it their duty to ensure all can use their service? Even moreso with the Beeb.

Heck, one could petition that Mac and Linux users are a minority, thus need extra assurance that they'll be catered for equally :D

Homosexuality does for UK blue duck population

Ain't nowt new about it...

...homosexuality in animals is common, ongoing and well documented. Of course, you don't hear about it often in nature documentaries, probably because the broadcaster is worried about the viewer's "sensibilities".

From 2004:

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2004/07/0722_040722_gayanimal.html

"Roy and Silo, two male chinstrap penguins at New York's Central Park Zoo have been inseparable for six years now. They display classic pair-bonding behavior—entwining of necks, mutual preening, flipper flapping, and the rest. They also have sex, while ignoring potential female mates."

Chinstrap. Heh. Heh. Heh.

DNA database includes nipper and nonagenarian

@"Idiots" AC

The ECHR ruling applies to those who don't have convictions or charges pending. Therefore it's protecting the non-criminals by default.

"Idiot". :)