* Posts by andreas koch

842 publicly visible posts • joined 14 Jun 2008


Microsoft slings bulked-up Windows Defender preview at world+dog

andreas koch

@ Hasselhoffia

Herzliches Beileid.

andreas koch

You what?


The new features deliver on the promise Microsoft made back in June to overhaul Defender ATP with the Creators Update to better support mobile devices . . .


All 2 of them? And, as I'm typing this on a 640xl, who's the other one?

Vital fair use copyright defense lands – thanks to warring YouTubers

andreas koch

Re: Some people need to inflate their ego

Clippy says: "Did you mean 'deflate' and 'do' instead of 'inflate' and 'comment'?


Apart from that: Ethan & Hila should be entitled to a share of his revenue, they not only got him extra publicity, at the end they even encourage people to check out his other stuff.

This is somehow like the producer of 'Manos' complaining about turning up in MST3k.


Business idea:

1. Make crap video

2. Have someone else (secretly part of this) diss it badly

3. Sue, countersue and get lots of publicity and more click revenue

4. Split profit 3-way between the two parties and the lawyers.


Ancient IETF 'teapot' gag preserved for posterity as a standard

andreas koch

killing off the fun bits . . .

If all the fun bits are taken out of all of IT, it will really belong to the penpushing beancounters.

We are almost there, and when we arrive, coding will be 6Sigma'd and all these wasteful indentations that only cost storage space, obviously, duh, and all these extra protocols like tcp (to be replaced with a 'get it right first time, every time' strategy and a penalty for dropped packets) will have to go because they're in the way of improving efficiency.

RIP ddate.


Bloke charged under UK terror law for refusing to cough up passwords

andreas koch

Obstructing a search

How long will it take until it's regarded as unlawful to not have any electronic devices on you? Just imagine some checkpoint person can't find anything on you that he could ask you to unlock, wouldn't that be suspicious?

"Must have something to hide, she's/ he's clean, better be safe, detain and check the home."

<cicero quote>

'Clearance sale' shows Apple's iPad is over. It's done

andreas koch

@ juice - Re: As I have said a million times

[*] Can we stop using old money to measure screen sizes?

No. Brexit means Brexit.


Internet of pills plan calls for drugs to tell you when to take them

andreas koch

patient engagement . . .


whereby patients load an app onto their phones and input data about what medicines they are expected to take, and when they should take them.


"Ok, thiss is , llet's see, err, 'Sinemet'; nnow whherre do I, oh herre, dose and freqquwncy:

Takke 22, 33 times a day. Done.

Can't go wrong.

German cops, mobe malware

andreas koch

ve hav vays

of making your handy talk . . .

EyePhones packing Iris-scanning authentication to go mainstream

andreas koch

@ SimonC -

Oh, wow.

You think Donald Trump is insecure? Check out his online store

andreas koch

@ac - Re: Where is the certificate?!?1?!


Prague, former Czechoslovakia



Space station to get shiny new ringpiece for automatic penetration

andreas koch

Re: More pictures


Google warns of breach

andreas koch


Give them all the NHS data!

NASA injects cash into solar electric motor

andreas koch

@ TRT - Re: ... will help send . . .

Sh*t happens usually all by itself, albeit, I'll give you that, not necessarily in a fertilisingly useful way.

SpaceX's Musk: We'll reuse today's Falcon 9 rocket within 2 months

andreas koch

@ bazza - Re: Pricing's gonna change...

Had to pee on the parade, no? Beancounter thinking like that takes all the adventure out of it and will ultimately lead to nobody even trying... No hard feelings.

Inflatable space podule set for orbital trial

andreas koch



Virgin Media spoof email mystery: Customers take to Facebook

andreas koch
Paris Hilton

@ doubledrat - Re: facebook group numbers

What a coincidence: That's exactly the formula that the jobcentre uses to work out the number of available jobs.

But seriously now, what difference to randomly picking a number does your example make?

London seeks trials of Google's robo-cars

andreas koch

There won't be any driverless cars for a long time.

Just to rain on the "bad eyesight" and the "had a few beers" squad: It ain't gonna be like that. The driverless cars (at least for anothe 20-30 years) will require a licenced driver fully capable and able to control the vehicle at all times when needed.

13 year old in driverless car solo on the school run?

6 pissed hen-night birds in an auto-limo?.

Stephen Hawking on the way to a lecture in his Google- roadster?

Stevie Wonder on the way to a gig?

Nope, nopety nope.

And if this is all out of the question, then why at all?

Just my opinion, don't listen to me.

Att: Windows Phone owners: Win 10 Mobile has been spotted and it wants your phone

andreas koch

@ andytech - Re: It works fine on Lumia 625,930 and my wifes 735

G A S P . . .

please use punctuation next time, or one-line posts.


Volkswagen enlarges emissions scandal probe: 'Millions' more cars may have cheated

andreas koch
Thumb Up

Time to get rich

by buying VW shares, which will surely fall quite a bit.

For about 6 to 9 months.

What does Worstall think about it?

Mobile phones are the greatest poverty-reducing tech EVER

andreas koch

@JeffyPoooh -

Sorry, no Nobel for Rosling, it will go posthumous to Steve Jobs, the inventor of the iPhone the mobile phone the telephone verbal communication.

Right after his canonization. The pope is already on the way (maybe to bless the second coming of the messiah iPhone6 (S for saint?).


Nokia sells HERE maps to Audi, Daimler and BMW for €2.8 billion

andreas koch
Black Helicopters


Wop wop wop wop

Grooveshark cofounder Josh Greenberg dead at 28

andreas koch
Black Helicopters

No traces

are left when the RIAA hitmen call.

Pan Am Games: Link to our website without permission and we'll sue

andreas koch

Re: @ JeffyPooh - "...mockery..."

Ah, this is where I failed to understand; it isn't that you couldn't, you just don't bother. Thumbs up for that!

Oh, and it's "Koch". With a "ch". Rhymes with a scottish lake. Can't be that hard . . .

And that "Clarkson" that you mean is called May.

andreas koch

@ JeffyPooh - Re: "...mockery..."

I feel for you mate, I had a crappy slow car like that as well when I was 20 . . .

Apple's mystery auto project siphoning staff from other divisions

andreas koch


iPhone, iPad, iWatch, iCar, iLife . . .


Windows 10 Mobile is shaping up nicely – now Cortana can send emails

andreas koch

one last shot . . .

in the back of the head of the kneeling Windows Mobile.

And that just when I (and, it seems, a few other people) started to like it. Over here in Europe you can see quite a few Lumias out on the street now,, and Win10 would probably work in the right direction.

Pity that it will take 18 months to work and SN will pull the trigger after 14.

Power your temperature sensor with this BONKERS router hack

andreas koch

@ Robert Helpmann ?? - Re: Energy Efficiency


better to power devices from battery


yup, definetly.

And forget about the charging bit altogether. I have got a wireless outside thermo sensor running on 2 AA batteries for over 2 years.


Intel imagines chips in nappies to create the Internet of sh*t things

andreas koch

any parent

who thinks that this is a good idea should be f***ed back themselves and aborted...

Flying cars will take to the skies in 2017, if government allows

andreas koch



Can't pay $349 for an Apple Watch? Get a Chinese knockoff for less than $50

andreas koch

Re: Boom

This watch might contain a first class (capacity wise) lithium battery with the energy content of ~0.005 kJ.

Not frightening.

A charger has all the destructive energy of a household socket to go boom. That is, at 240Vx20A* /1s over 4kJ.


*The current to actually trip the breaker within 1s.

andreas koch

@ Anonymous - Re: @ Cody - Still not understanding the target market

I'm very sorry to have offended so greatly that you don't even grace me with the honour of reading your name next to your post.

I shall remove the offence.

andreas koch

@ Anthony Hegedus -


and I don't count those nokia vertu phones as they're targetted at a different market

Are you sure about that?

Microsoft kills its Euro pane in the a**: The 'would you prefer Chrome?' window

andreas koch
Paris Hilton

choice . . .

I never quite understood the issue.

Windows comes with a few applications. So do a lot of other OSs. I can't recall Solaris7 asking me if I want to install a different browser than Netscape. Does MacOS ask you if you might consider not to use Safari as default? Windows doesn't give you the choice of using a different "Notepad", does it? Panasonic TVs dont ask you if you would prefer another UI for the EPG. And so on. And people chose: A lot of them went and bought Macs, because they don't ask that much; they know that you need your bum wiped and just do it for you.

You have the choice anyway. Just go and get something else. If you don't know about something else, then you are probably better off using the default, because you're likely to end up with a mess. I know several people that gave me a blank stare when I asked them which browser they use. Some then answered "Google" (as in search engine, not as in Chrome), or "TalkTalk" (a British ISP). One even said "Dell". Choice looks like a bad thing for these users because they can't make an informed decision anyway.

Thought experiment: Your doctor gives you the bad news and then asks: "Which drug would you prefer for your chemotherapy? You have 5 choices, right now." That must be a similar feeling to what Norma* Normaluser experiences with the browserchoice question. Luckily not so important.

IE isn't bad any more, even though I prefer Firefox personally. Opera seems to have gone "niche" and everthing else is a UI for WebKit. I think it's become a bit of a BMW, Audi or Jaguar choice.

* My apologies to all internet-savvy Normas. And all the other Normas, too.

The Pirate Bay SUNK: It vanishes after Swedish data center raid

andreas koch

Not a big problem for pirates:

I take it that Google is still online?

Apple gearing up for Watch BONANZA

andreas koch

@ turnip handler - Re: Not an unreasonable number

Yep, seriously. I nearly used the joke icon, but then it'd be too obvious and spoil it.

Now you spoilt it, sniff.

Upvote for the sheer irony.

andreas koch

Not an unreasonable number

I even think that there could be a market for more. The article states 40 MiP sold last quarter, each wanting a companion watch. There will be more sold in the almost quarter to come until Watch release and having a new iPhone without a new iWatch is like putting Romanian remould tyres on your Porsche Panamera or buying a pair of Louis Vuitton shoes and wearing ASDA Smart Price tights with them.

You just have to have it.

And here's the good thing: While it shows that you are a modern, sophisticated, successful, beautiful and knowledgeable person, it can hide the fact that you only have iPhone 5C in your pocket, because your contract didn't allow upgrading on iDay. A Ferrari keyring on your Fiat key.

So, the 40M plus the new Apple customers on Black Friday and after christmas plus the up-pretenders sounds very reasonable to have a 50M initial stock. It might just be out of general goodness to God-Bless-America to have, for a change, enough stock for the demand to avoid city centre riots and these unsightly shanty towns trailing away from the Apple stores for weeks.

Apple Watch is, again, a very cleverly marketed and priced trinket. Nobody needs it and everybody can afford it; let me clarify: there is no urgent use for this item, so your dislike slides off it, you can't reason for or against it on an objective basis, it becomes a matter of taste and fashion or mock-taste and mock-fashion. Any argument about it will be emotional, and emotional arguments against something usually only harden the resolves of the parties involved.

The price point is cleverly honed to peak impact: the most expensive that everyone can immediately deal with. 350 VMD is your utilities bills(water, gas, leccy, comms) bounced for a month, plus cutting the food down to staples. And, hey presto, you're a $positive_property person.

Just my personal opinion, don't take it serious . . .

First space Hasselblad goes under the hammer

andreas koch
Paris Hilton

The crucial question is:

does it post selfies automatically to facebook and twitter?

. . . useless otherwise, innit?

WP8 app

andreas koch

@ Drewc

Whooo, easy! I didn't mean that you broke it or anything, I suggested that you probably programmed the WP version inhouse. My reason for this:

It never loaded the comments. So there was always a fault with it. An external company would be asked to deliver a servicable piece of code.

I ask $plumber to fit a kitchen sink. He does, but the hot water tap does not work. I complain and he comes and fixes it. At no extra cost.

Ocasta made an app. An important part of this app never worked. They should fix it.

It should cost you (the Reg) no more than the time to write an email. Regardless of amount of readers or updating or whatever.

Nothing to charge, nothing to pay.

Ok, agreed, no ad revenue lost if all of 12 7 5 WP users don't use the app or the site . . .

But for a working app, I think people rather would pay. Useless freebies can be had by the million.

Time for me to go and get an Android phone, maybe. Oh wait, that app doesn't work either. Time for a new contractor, maybe?

Sorry, starting to get snarky here, I'll shut up now.

andreas koch

@ Russell Hancock - Re: Offline reading?

Seems to be like that on every WP.

It looks as if the Reg did this themselves, because if it would have been done by someone else, I wouldn't give a monkey's whether it has a 500-million-user or a 74-user base,

I'd ask them to fix their mistakes.

andreas koch

@ Drewc - Re: Offline reading?

I hear what you're saying.

Thanks for the line.

Nokia France leak: Windows Phone DUMPED in Microsoft Lumia revamp

andreas koch

@ AC - Re: Rearranging deckchairs on the Titanic

. . .


when he upgrades to another Android he just needs to sign in and everything is there for him again. No fuss no hassle


no privacy no security.

Exactly what puts me off.

If I store my stuff on my device I'm responsible for it. Outsourcing resposibility for private data (to whatever OS) doesn't sound like an advantage to me.

LOHAN crash lands on CNN

andreas koch
Paris Hilton

@ Lester Haines

Did Ms Trentmann actually listen to what has been going on, or was she just there for booze and bites?

I had a read through the writeup and it's factually more wrong than right. Or is this intentional, so that it makes a better read for "Welt" subscribers?

Never mind . . .

Apple, FBI: YES we're, er, looking into the NAKED CELEBRITY PICS. Aren't you?

andreas koch
Thumb Up

@dan1980: - Re: If you don't want any naked pix

There's no need to delete them from the phone if I used a standard digital camera . . . Cough. I'm sure that's not what you wanted to say.

I go by the rule that if I don't want it to be known or seen, I'll not tell or show it. Specially if it can be connected to me.

. . . and in my book putting it into any cloud as a usable file is showing. If I really, really need to back up to a cloud service, then the file is locally encrypted first and then uploaded. Encryption by the service is not acceptable as far as privacy is concerned.

andreas koch
Paris Hilton

If you don't want any naked pix

of yourself (celebrity or not) on the internet, just don't take any.

There, fixed.

End of buttons? Apple looks to patent animating iPhone sidewalls

andreas koch

Re: Not at all like

Awww, diddums.

andreas koch

@ Credas - Re: Trivia

. . . on a mobile device. . .


LOHAN seeks stirring motto for spaceplane mission patch

andreas koch

Should be obvious:

Mordens Manus Pascens (Informatica)

Seeing that I'm not a Latinian, efforts to clean up the grammar are greatly appreciated.

The final score: Gramophones 1 – Glassholes 0

andreas koch

@ !Spartacus - Re: @ AC ~1220h - Photos photos

Don't worry, I'm rarely in Wales.