* Posts by Rob

128 publicly visible posts • joined 17 Apr 2007


Duke Nukem Forever developer defunct, says staffer

Paris Hilton


I think this says it all:

Duke Nukem Forever = DNF = Did Not Finish

Paris, because i've heard she always finishes...

Windows 7 — It’s like Vista, only less annoying


Only one thing interests me

I had Vista foisted on me when I bought a new PC. The reseller wanted an extra 200 quid for the same macine running XP, so I bottled my frustration and accepted Vista. Whilst i've used it for the last 2 or 3 years (or however long it's been now) I can honestly say i've not really had any problems with it (beyond the annoying freezes when copying large stuff). But the biggest problem with this is that I didn't want it in the first place and while I haven't had any problems, there's certainly nothing in there that XP didn't do for me that would have made me buy Vista through choice.

I can see the same thing happening with W7. Nothing in there interests me (except getting the freezes fixed, which really should be rolled out to all Vista users!). Out of all the new 'features' the one thing that intrigues me is getting decent touch screen abilities, but only because I think it might be useful in the way that I have my machines set up. 'Course, i'd still have to buy new monitors and stuff, so it's not going to happen quickly anyway.

I never thought i'd say this but.. i'll be sticking to Vista thanks. (Actually, my XP Netbook gets more use time these days - some things are just good and fast at what they do I guess)..

Apple restyles iPod Shuffle

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@Stuart Gray

Shuffles use a different dock, that connects to the headphone jack itself. Presumably exactly the same type of dock would be used here.

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Not very useful

I like to plug my shuffle into a set of PC speakers that we have kicking about in the living room. Doing this will mean I lose all control over my iPod, because there are no controls on the unit anymore. Seems pretty brainless to me. I suspect Apple's response will be "If you want to do that buy a more expensive iPod"...

Tiscali shares suspended on titsup fears

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Nildram used to be awesome

Since they were bought by tiscali my regular 2.5MB+ connection has dropped to 800kbps on a regular basis. No one seems to know why or care so I'm hoping they go under. If they do i'll be forced to get off my lazy arse and find a new provider...

Batman sues Batman over Batman



Let's play a game!

It's called "Look through the comments section and point out all the people who didn't read the full article before commenting!"

I'm looking at you, 1939...

Forcefields will guard Mars ships from solar ion storms


Don't pooh-pooh it so early.

It's not all theory. The scientists have actually produced one and theres video of it on the BBC site in action. Looks exactly how you'd expect it to.

I have to say, the BBC report about this subject is actually more informative than the reg article which is a bit of a surprise, seeing how the BBC can't even use telephones correctly at the moment.

Ford cars to gain prang-preventing radar rigs


@ AC "already implemented "

Yeah, and on the TopGear thing they forgot to switch it on, which meant it slammed into the back of the car in front which was hilarrrrrrrrrrrious.

Sega to launch PSP beater in 2009


looking at that..

I can't wait to ditch my PSP and play a portable console where all (4!) buttons are on the right hand side. I didn't need a d-pad, analog stick and 6 functional buttons that are positioned for gameplay anyway...

Woman sues EA over 'secret' Spore DRM

Paris Hilton

The bigger problem here is always internal

Spore was available on torrents 2 weeks before it's official release in any territory.

It's always a game 'reviewer' or someone internal to the company that gets these things out into the wild before they should be. From there it's only a matter of hours before someone's cracked it.

I've bought it - i'm enjoying playing it and the DRM hasn't upset or bothered me. I'm convinced i'm like 99% of the rest of the game buying market.

The remainder of the game buying public are probably rightly justified in their outrage, afterall some people like their computers more locked down than others care. The remainder of people are pirates anyway and weren't going to buy the game in the first place. I bet a large percentage of people who pirate games are 'collectors' and very rarely install let alone play the games they rip off.

I'm sure if there was no DRM then the sales figures would be higher as the people moaning wouldn't have any reason to moan and would just buy the game. Good honest people will always be good honest people, that's just the way it goes.

Then again, they say you can't con a con man so maybe the games industry need to rethink things a little...

Paris because she MUST have made some of her own Sporn by now..

Reg readers rage at comment icon outrage


Jonathon Ross being hanged...

Not a request for an icon. I'd just like to see it for real.

Hilton documentary reveals hidden side of Paris

Paris Hilton

The question is

Which side of her is new and how much did it cost?

Nokia admits major Series 40 security problems


Plus side

If anyone with the know-how can insert an app on to your phone and run it without you knowing, then the same could also be done by Nokia installing a security fix.

Welcome to the most interesting security race of the year :)

Russell Crowe to play Bill Hicks?

Gates Horns


Goatboy is displeased at this travesty...

Rude Tintin pulls out

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@Anonymous Coward

"And that is not a xenophobic and racist comments?"

Some people really just don't get sarcasm, and (slightly misguided) jokery do they...

Judge spikes 'dumbest literary agent' Wikipedia suit


Put Clair Raynor in charge.

Then wikipedia might have something useful for all those immature people to read...

Swedish men left frustrated by state sex aid policy



b :"what the fark is wrong with swedish men?!"

Too much Abba. It can be the only explanation...

Rockstar confirms GTA IV PC edition



Yay? I suppose it's better than the year wait that seems to follow most of the console conversions to PC these days..

Webcam hacker-ogler jailed for four years

Paris Hilton


I don't recall there being any mention of it being Windows at fault here. Realistically a lot of teenagers are bought apple laptops by their parents specificaly because of Apples advertising.

There's no evidence either way in this report...

Paris, because she's spent many an hour on someones laptop and she knows when and where to leave the camera on.

The PSP: what's its future?


I love my psp but...

The big problem is games. What with Ready At Dawn (God of war) handing their devkits back to Sony and others not bothering to produce decent games, there's no life in the machine. The Playstation Store is full of shit. Only a few demos and some games to buy but most of it is rubbish videos and wallpapers.

Online gaming could have really taken off if the developers let it. I ran a website which had a league so that people could arrange matches and report results, with a monthly league winner etc. It was all fine in theory but then the producers (EA being the biggest scumsucker here) decided that different territories shouldn't be allowed to play against each other. ON THE INTERNET - HELLO?

I still believe the PSP is a great machine and has some truely great games in it's library, but the future is fairly bleak. I think they should drop the UMD and bring the games out on small memorysticks that can be copied to the local memory stick (like an 'install'). This will also push downloadable games etc. Echochrome is available in the US as a downloadable game, but Sony Europe wanted hardcopies on UMD. Hence I decided not to buy it. It's so much easier to purchase downloads these days than faff about with UMDs.

My last thought - it's rumoured that Ready At Dawn handed back their devkits because they've been given PSP2 devkits. They said on their website the ubiquitous "Wait till you see what we come up with next!". Given what they produced for the PSP I'm hoping they'll have some decent PSP2 launch titles ready...

Police told: Delete old criminal records


And there was me thinking...

...that you'd chosen Paris because her DNA gets about a bit.

PC World pips Asus to UK Atom sub-laptop premier

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Reasonable spec, but waaaaay too pricey.

PS3 sale price spurs costs Sony dear


@ AC

Nice attempt at a flame but you forgot one thing... You put in too many 'e's. Everyone knows it's spelt "EVAR"!

UK developer trio accused of game plagiarism

Paris Hilton

As an extra

If you go to the games page http://dead-code.org/home/index.php/games/ you'll see "Limbo of the Lost" listed there as released and commercial...

Not any more!



Andy, don't be naive. Whether you think a game is 'original' or not, doesn't mean that (in this case) the Oblivion developers didn't spend months building the 3d models and the texture artists didn't spend months building the textures etc. All these people cost money to pay for their work to produce really good looking and effective scenes.

To have some oik press printscreen and then profit from your work just because he thinks he can doesn't make it right.

New game site designed to make computers smarter

Paris Hilton


Google have been doing this for ages with their image search. Basically they get 'players' to tag images for them in an attempt to improve their hit data.


Paris, because... well, it's google image search isn't it...

When flash mobs go bad

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Easy solution

The council need to advertise on Facebook for a Flash Mob to come and clean up the mess that was produced. Put it in one of the Gurilla Gardening groups and the place will be tidy and looking better than before for free...

'Great tits cope well with warming'

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I bet it makes the BBC's most read list this morning.

I know I clicked it after reading the headling :)

Id Dooms gamers to new shoot-'em-up sequel



But it looks like your English suffered... ;)

Welsh student exposed to nude webcam operators

Paris Hilton

What's wrong with that?

It's a valid job and it needs to be advertised. Let's face it, an ad like that is actually fairly discrete - it could be marketed a lot worse. For example on the notice boards in colleges.

The job centre is right though, that they have to carry it - they're not allowed to turn it away. It's up to the job seeker to decide whether they want it or not.

Monroe BJ film - world exclusive still


@Simon Ward

Yeah, yeah. You say it's coffee.. some of us don't believe you..

Red Hat scurries away from consumer desktop market



I have an old Toshiba Tecra laptop that didn't have an OS. I thought this would be the perfect chance for me to get to grips with Linux and try some of the more 'consumer friendly' versions of Linux. I tried Ubuntu and a whole multitude of variants. Nothing worked and it wouldn't even load.

I moved on to Puppy and DSL and a whole raft of others. I eventually got both Puppy and DSL working but couldn't get half the hardware working or the (most importantly) wireless card. I followed forums and guides and just couldn't get anything to work.

In the end out of frustration I installed WinXP on the machine just to see how it handles. It went in first time, without problems and while it's a little slow does everything I want.

I thought Linux system requirements were supposed to be low, but having XP running on a system that apparently is too old for some of the bigger Linux distros spoke volumes to me.

I really wanted to try it. I really wanted it to be a walk in the park, but I have to tell you - it's NOT consumer ready for the average Joe in the street. And i'm a tech-head.

Oregon Craigslist looting was burglary cover-up


I'm not sure I want to know but...

Husband and wife or brother and sister?

You can already tell from the picture that they are definitely sleeping together...

Snitching is less than golden for piracy informers

IT Angle

@Mad Hacker

Why do they need to pick sides? There are many different authors here at El Reg and one (wo)mans opinion may not be the same as the next.

Besides, if you haven't worked out by now that the Reg takes the mick out of *everyone* then i'd go hide for a little while or you'll likely be next...

World+Dog tosses orb in public on Byron Review


Not long now...

"In news today the government has announced that it has solved all of our prison space issues. They are now, no longer locking up gamers who wanted a bit of excitement from their games. People who are no longer happy with the Government funded 'Games for Kids' scheme can go to the Isle Of Wight which the Government has sanctioned as a gamers paradise. On the Isle (which was happily donated by the Island's populace) gamers can play games developed outside of the Government's own games labs. Some people have complained that relatives are not coming back from Gamers Paradise, but the Government states that it is simply in the gamers intention to stay and that if they're not contacting their own families then they were probably scum anyway.

In other news, the African food crisis has been resolved entirely today after the British Government sent a shipment of food to the continent. The new product called Soylent Green will help ease starvation..."

Adobe to remove Photoshop pic pimping clause

Paris Hilton

A title is (NOT really) required (when you think about it.).

Heh. Next they'll be equating themselves with religious minorities and claiming persecution and wanting a land to call their own. How about we give them Antarctica - that's where the penguins are.

Transgender man prepares to give birth


@ AC

"Fits nicely into hot dog buns, easy to slice to add meaty chunks to pasta dishes"

Or you could just add meat.

Kent bloke buried under 3,000 congestion charge receipts

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Barclaycard are the same

When I closed my Barclaycard about 2 years ago I paid off what I thought was the final balance. I then got my 'last' statement saying I still owed them 53 pence. I went into the bank and spoke to them and after having a chuckle with the account manager handed them 53p in CASH (no cheques here matey!). Then she asked me for the cards which I handed to her in bits as i'd already cut them up. She said thankyou very much and that will be the end of it. It's now 2 years later and every three months I get a paper statement through the door from Barclaycard telling me that they owe me 53p. FFS. Forget about it - I'm not bothered, really. Just stop destroying the forests in order to tell me of your ineptitude. :/

BBC races away with five-year F1 rights deal



Mika who?

MPs get £2k home cinema on taxpayers

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So, according to that list then...

They basically get to furnish their entire house, paid for by me. Gee thanks. I thought I elected you to stop all this frivolous spending and so you could pump cash into vital services but obviously the voting form says in small print somewhere "Please feel free to bend me over, rape me and rifle through my pockets for spare change at the same time."

Terry Pratchett donates £500k to Alzheimer's charity


@ 1st AC

And how much of your personal fortune (however big it is) have you given to Alzheimers research?

Of course people are motivated by personal pain. But very often it's not until something effects you directly that you find out how little is being done about it in the first place.

I'm sure Pratchetts publicity will also help others donate to the research programs that hadn't even heard about it before hand.

Local councils dish out shoddy computer recycling advice



How you can put these two sentences together in the same comment strikes me as a touch amusing...

"Your lack of understanding how the data can be recovered is obvious."


"Re-writing random 0 and 1's or all 0's or 1's would work, but when you delete on your computer I think it just flags the addresses of the data as usable, doesn't actually write or delete them."

Are you sure that's how it works? You don't seem at all confident about it.

Just for those that are unclear, deleting simply marks the file space in the FAT that the space is available for rewriting over. This is how you get a fragmented disk for example. If you want to be sure, have an app that opens every single (and I mean every) file on your pc and refills it with an exact size match of 1's and zeros to erase the content. Then fill all the rest of your hard drive with random files full of random sequences. Then, once the drive is full, delete everything and start the process again, filling the drive with random files etc. Make sure it's all used up and that there really is NO space left. Then format it. Then run the sequence again. Then format it again. Then put it by a big magnet. Then hit it with a hammer.

Prosecutors target first 'Facebook harassment' conviction

Black Helicopters


"I can also easily image Top Gear (in the present or near future) reporting the first time a hybrid is used as a getaway vehicle."

Oooh. It's almost worth robbing a bank in one, just to get that accolade.

(Black Helicopter, because surely *that's* the best getaway vehicle..)

Software company seeks 'Senior BJ assistant'


Possible free jewelry package for successful applicant...

Well at least _one_ pearl necklace surely?...

China plans 'deep-sea base project'



Have the Chinese finally got Bioshock?

BBC mulls dropping Flash as iPlayer meets iPhone

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go for more devices...

I would also like to see more wifi device support added. Get in bed with Sony, then people can watch on their PS3's in their living room (where you should be) and I can watch something streamed on my PSP in bed, whilst the missus watches yet another crime show on the telly.

Opera screeches at Mozilla over security disclosure

Gates Halo

Oh noes!

"Our competitor found a bug in our software and didn't tell us about it! How unchivalrous of them!"

Europe hails foothold in space

Paris Hilton

I didn't think that here in the UK...

...we actually had much to do with the ISS.

I might be wrong (it's been known) but since the UK doesn't officially support manned space flight aren't we locked out of all these sort of contracts? It's highly unlikely any of our tax cash went into the ISS, let alone contracts we would be allowed to bid on if our government actually got off it's arse and agreed manned space flight was A Good Thing (tm).

Paris, coz she needs to be blasted into space...

More videogames to face censor scrutiny

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It's OK though...

Because I hear all TV content is going to be rated for viewing by GMTV's Richard Arnold. Expect professional review and non-biased standards to be maintained...

Hollywood writers abandon Hollywood for web

Paris Hilton

I still prefer the Onions...

tis true.