* Posts by Simon

21 posts • joined 4 Jun 2008

BOFH: The Christmas party

Paris Hilton

Poor Taste

I find it a little churlish of Simon to be having fun at a Christmas party when many of his fellow BOFHs and PFYs are being denied similar enjoyment by Scrooge-like corporate entities in this time of financial instability...however great paintball (with frozen balls) might be

Paris and frozen balls - I think not

Microsoft preps IE 8 for the web-challenged

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El Reg

Glad to see El Reg seems to look fine on IE8

BOFH: The paperless cafeteria



Say no more

Royal Society of Chemistry defines perfect Yorkshire pud



What sort of a ridiculous recipe is this....

How can you state specific amounts of egg, flour and salt, when the half water, half milk has no quantity. By this definition I could use 1 gallon of water and 1 galloon of milk mixed with 1 egg, a tablespoon and a half of flour (is that plain or self-raising?) and half a teaspoon of salt and make the 'perfect' pud....I think not.

Either the RSC, or your hack, should be ashamed of themselves!!!

I also seem to remember that Yorkshire Pudding originates in Nottinghamshire...

Ode to the Phoenix Mars Lander



Martian: 'Ello NASA, I wish to make a complaint about this lander I purchased only a few months ago.

NASA: Oh yes, the, uh, the Phoenix...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Martian: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

NASA: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

Martian: Look, matey, I know a dead lander when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

NASA: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable lander, the Phoenix, idn'it, ay? Beautiful payloads!

Martian: The payload don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

NASA: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Martian: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!

Martian: 'Ello, Mister Phoenix lander! I've got a lovely fresh lifeform for you...

and so on and so forth!!

Mine's the one thats looks like a straight jacket...

HP apes IBM's SVC

Paris Hilton

@AC - in or out

So just what is the definition of in-band and out of band as you and Chris seems to diverge on this point?

SVC forces the fibre packets to travel from the disk to the host via the fabric switch, then the SVC controller, and then the switch again. Invista doesn't add the extra controller loop into the fabric path as the intelligent fabric switch knows what to do with the packets. Doesn't this definition make SVC out of band and Invista in-band?

Do I really want my fibre packets going down additional lengths of glass, thereby adding additional failure points? Why not let the switch do the work - Director class devices are very powerful these days.

If the Invista controller(s) crashes then the switch still has all the information to continue virtualising with no degradation, you just can't create new rules until it is back up. If an SVC controller crashes then you loose 50% of your processing capacity and degrade your paths - also you had better pray that the other SVC controller has it's battery fully charged (even if it still has full mains power) because otherwise it won't accept the failover - I've seen it happen :(

Paris, as she doesn't care if it's in or out...

Seagate heading for the wild west

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Iomega already done it...

...with a 1TB NAS drive including HDMI output (http://tinyurl.com/6o9yde)

Led Zeppelin plan Plant-free tour


!Not Zep

So therefore, by extrapolation

Plant = Zep

Not sure Mr Page would agree :)

Who cares - couldn't buy or beg tickets for the O2 gig so any chance of seeing another live performance should be leapt at

NASA: Google Gulfstreams not science experiments


How high?

SkippyBing: Just to help you out, the Alpha can fly at 50,000 which is a little higher than the Gulfstreams can get...

Police poison speed debate with fuzzy figures



Give us half a chance to get rid of the government and we will stand or just vote them out....seems to me this government knows it's on a looser and is just hanging on as long as it can.

Prince Charles declines Doctor Who cameo



Tis a little harsh and unfair of Mr Davies to call the Heir to the throne such names, particularly when it was some lacky in a back office who made the unilateral decision for HRH.

Maybe HRH reads ElReg and will correct the office-based simpleton and grace Dr Who with his august presence - and maybe put Mr Davies in the tower for a short cooling off period...

Stob latest: IEEE flags dodgy paper


Who wrote this???

I find it interesting that the second 'author' of this appalling document, Rahul De, singularly fails to list this document as one of his published works on his personal web page http://www.iimb.ernet.in/~rahulde/.....

Did he actually contribute to the paper, or did TR Madanmohan also steal an author to validate his drivel, or has Rahul De tried to disassociate himself from this???

Royal Society: Schools should show creationism 'respect'


I demand...

...that both RE and Science classes teach the true lore as preached by the Jatravartid people:

They believe that the Universe was sneezed out of the nose of a being called the Great Green Arkleseizure. They live in perpetual fear of the time they call "The Coming of the Great White Handkerchief".

Although this theory of the Great Green Arkleseizure is not widely accepted outside Viltvodle VI, it is still as sensible as Creationism, belief in the Great Flying Spagetti Monster, or even that we all decend from crew of the B-Ark of the Golgafrincham exodus...

Is that my electronic thumb beeping - got to go to the pub for beer and peanuts...so long, etc...

'Water bears' survive in outer space

Paris Hilton


From my experience of Swedes (the people, not the root vegetable) they have lots of time on their hands to mull over the complexitites of such earth shattering experiments as they seem to spend lots of time chatting, drinking coffee, eating cake and getting very, very drunk (particularly on the weekend after payday!!)

Paris as I wonder what experiments she like to do in zero gravity...

EMC in fourth-gen CLARiiON call



Think yourself lucky you don't have IBM site. I've seen them turn up with 5 salesmen, 2 consultants from Glasshouse, 3 PMs and 0 techies...

As for the Celerra errors; insist that they install the latest patch level of 5.5 (I think its, but don't use 5.6 unless you are using the new functionality it gives you... Also reboot the heads (and SPs in the integrated device) in sequence and the errors may go away. Also reboot the CLARiiON SPs if you are using gateways to CLARiiONs (don't ask).

Mine's the one with the flash drive in the pocket.

Knights Templar to Vatican: Give us back our assets


@Huw Davies


Tis many a long year since I have heard that line :)

All Hail the Solar Federation!!

Mine's the one with the Red Star

Cops slap ticket on Street View spycar



that the Mars image didn't have a shadow on the Google-bot as the sun appears to be in the correct direction to match the shadow on the real bot

iRiver Lplayer 8GB MP3 player


Neat, but...

why do companies insist on the showing IT capacities which are not the 'true' IT capacities. Apparently this comes in 2GB, 4GB or 8GB, with a nice comment saying

1MB=1.000.000 Bytes / 1GB=1.000MB=

so the 8GB is really only 7.45GB

Also there is another little quibble in the form of the comment "A portion of storage space might not be used for storing files" - how much???

Why can't they just say how much useable space there is for me to use in this device for my movies, etc...

Quantum crypto targeted in attack of the clones

IT Angle


For one moment there I thought you were referring to the tape silo guys. I'm sure they will just love your title given they encrypt and clone....

TfL hands out contracts for congestion charge tags

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I thought tags were worn by criminals.

Does that make all car drivers in London a criminal?

I know the Government hate car drivers, but this is ridiculous. Does Boris agree with this?

Peter Gabriel cranks his f*ck machine

Dead Vulture

to citate or not citate...

A high brow etymological debate on the Reg...how exciting.

Just because there are citations in the OED, it doesn't mean they are correct. They just show current useage of a term/word, whether that be correct or incorrect.

If hoi polloi were to become a single word, ie hoipolloi, or become hyphenated as you had it originally (although that is, as previously accepted, incorrect), then "the" could justifiably be used.



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