Posts by M

Movie-quality games in 15 years, claims gaming veteran

Hmm

For me, this has already been realised in the game 'Treasure Island Dizzy'.

Mind you, I am an egg.

'Augmented reality' ghost game coming to DSi

Wow

This looks AWESOME! Hopefully I can get rid of the ghosts that haunt my fridge, drink my beer and eat my sausages. And rape me.

O2 inked as UK's official Pré distributor

FFS

Why are the shittest telco getting all these exclusives? I was with 02 and they couldnt get my bill right. I am with orange now and they have no decent phones. None! Oooh a Nokia!

tarts!

grumble grumble

Samsung Tocco Ultra Edition S8300

Sounds alright

But I am waiting for the Samsung Omnia HD and this ain't it. THIS AIN'T IT!

Astronaut Twitters from orbit

lol

man_from_enemy_mine: I just met an enemy today. I might make him mine.

T_recall

D_quaid: COHAAGEN!

Zune phone specs spied

Marvellous

No doubt that they will seek to limit whatever profit they may make by just selling it in the motherland. The rest of the world need not apply.

Apple prepping 32GB iPhone 3.0?

I have to say

It sounds horribly believeable.

Pirate-pursuing lawyers get DDo$ money transfer slap

Hopefully this will work

If it doesn't, well it made me chuckle anyway. Also I pledge my 1 SEK!

Austria pulls out of Large Hadron Collider

Goodbye Vienna...

We will miss you :-(

Plod called in on MPs' expenses leak

Oh dear, yet another fail

Instead of dealing with the problems, let's obfuscate matters and disembowel the messengers!

Upcoming 'Gemini' BlackBerry Curve not 3G after all

Hey Rim?!?

2002 called. They want their phone back.

No 'next gen' consoles until 2013, analyst claims

I dunno

It might not be far off the mark. If Microsoft wanted to bring something else to the market in the next two years I am sure they would have mentioned it by now. And Sony are committed to their 10 year project.

Paris? I am sure that she will hawk her booty on the market again before then.

Orange hears his master's voice

@ Bah humbug AC

Very good! You alluded to a 'cafetiere' as a cell phone feature and no phone has that feature! I derived much humour from your remark.

Well done!

Yes! It's the iPhone USB Missile Launcher app!

Oh dear

I guess global productivity is now going to take a hit.

Samsung unveils first Android handset

Looks nice

I am up for a phone soon, this could be the one...

What on earth do you think you are doing, Darling?

Interesting article

And I like your idea of an increased personal allowance roughly matching that of a year's minimum wage salary.

Also Ms. Bee, aren't all your days Flamey days?

Concept phone punted as ultimate music handset

Wow, that looks well weapon.

It looks like someone has invented a real life Wasp T12 Speechtool. I guess possession of this pile of tat will enable you to truly be a "self-facilitating media node"

Flying-rifle robocopter: Hovering sniper backup for US troops

Hmm...Xbox controller?

I think I would prefer a keyboard and high resolution mouse. There is also a great bit in Ghost in the Shell where they have the helicoper snipers!

Start-up Bee pledges 'affordable' British e-car

Sweet

However, as I can't wait that long, I will have to purchase my Masarati now.

'Soon soldiers will have 3 tiny choppers in their pocket'

3 Tiny Choppers?

Not me, I have a Monster in my Pocket(tm)*

*May be tiny in real life.

JG Ballard — 1930-2009

RIP JGB

You will be sadly missed

Microsoft wraps Live Search in chicken and breadcrumbs

Hooray!

Now I know what I will have for tea tonight! Chicken Kiev with beans and waffles!

Russian schoolgirl invents inertioid-driven Venus rover

Hmm

I think that she probably comes from Pripyat, not Noginsk. That would explain the 'aura'

Male chimps strike 'meat for sex' deals

Inspired by this story

When I was in the pub yesterday, I found that 7/10 women rejected my offers of raw meat. One accepted then reneged on the deal. The other two were, well, chimp-like in their acceptance.

Still. Not an entirely unsuccessful strategy

BBC goes live... over Wi-Fi

Cue BBC Hand-wringing

Roll out free live internet telly, then state to the government that people without licenses are 'stealing' tv. Bish hash bosh, a flat rate internet tax 'in case' you decide to watch tv.

How gov scapegoats systems for man-made errors

Well done

I like the investigative journolism slant.

Palm bets the farm on WebOS

@Robert E A Harvey

I totally agree with the Telco tie in statement. If Palm tie this up with one phone company per country a la iphone they are totally boned.

I am looking forward to have a play with one as they look great though!

Killzone 2 to drive XBox 360 owners to PS3, claims Sony

Erm no?

I own an xbox 360 to play halo3 and left4dead with my friends. I would buy a PS3 in a heartbeat if there were any games for me to play. I have played KZ2 but I still don't think that it is the killer app for me to buy one.

*Waits*

Man turns finger into storage

Apologies to Baldrick

His little false USB finger looks like a willy. Which is ironic, because my willy looks like a little USB finger.

YouTube blocks music videos in UK

Anti-PR(S)

Google had a site where music videos were being legally streamed, because the profits from advertising revenue were worth more than the fees to the PRS for the videos. The PRS demanded higher fees that would make the site operate at a loss. So Google has stopped doing so.

That the PRS believes Google is incumbent to run a loss in order to continue acting as a promotional window for the record companies the former represents is the sort of naive thinking that is to be expected of them, frankly. They played hardball, and lost big time.

Ryanair may charge cattle to use the bog

Fuck me

I would deliberately not bring any money and urinate like a cat on the duty free trolley.

Earthworm blamed for laptop crash

Hehe

Further reports name the Earthworm as 'Jim', who was in pursuit of his 'Ultra-high-tech-indestructible-super-space-cyber-suit' which he thought was the laptop.

LG wristphone reportedly priced at £1000

Well good luck to 'em

Having had video calling features on my phones for about 4 years now and making, let me think, one call in that time to test out the video calling, this isn't a killer app for me.

I do think that reguarly calling from a watch is pretty cool though if coupled with a bluetooth headset or something.

Robert Llewellyn drops Red Dwarf clanger

Phwoar

I believe that Sophie Winkleman is rather attractive. Of course, Sophie is not quite as nice as Miss Bee (who is ace!).

Info chief slaps Met on CCTV in pubs

Fucking Hell

This really scares the shit out of me. How can we stop this creep of powers?

How about a CCTV icon?

Landmark copyright trial against Pirate Bay gets underway

Go on Lads!

Arrr Me Hearties!

Samsung crafts solar-powered phone

WOW!

This is awesome! I will totally get one of these (if they are made by poor chinese kids in a lightless factory)

Doubled-sided Acer phone spied on web

Wow

I have to admit this seems like a great idea depending on the implementation. I miss physical buttons on my touch screen HTC so this could be the best of both worlds.

NSA offering 'billions' for Skype eavesdrop solution

Hurm

The cynic in me thinks that Skype has found a foolproof way to monetise their business stream. The sloth in me wants to go and have a little lie down.

Red Dwarf touches down in Coronation Street

Oh Dear

I am hoping that this will be good down to the ends of my luxuriant curlicues.

If not, well, I know where CC lives...(or used to live anyway)

Redbourn (if it helps).

We definitely need a 'meh' icon.

So...'meh!'

Joker must retire, insist Heath Ledger fans

Hmmm

If Heath Ledger were alive now...

He would be scrabbling like mad on his coffin lid. (Apologies for forgetting who said the original quote.)

Brits 'a bunch of yellow bastards', says irate Yank

Union of Sausage Anglers

Neep!

MP wants Welsh text on ID cards

Instead of an ID card with foreign languages on it...

I would like chips for tea.

Gimme some (more) money, demand Spinal Tap

How much more black could this be?

The answer is none. None more black.

Texas lawyer sues Citibank over fake cheque scam

Lots of people are critical

To be fair there isn't a lot of detail in this article but I agree that this person was very foolish. However if he or his minion adhered to the protocol for checking funds in the company bank account and the bank told him the funds were there, then the banks were in no small part complicit in the cock up.

Time to axe Microsoft's Zune

Colour me surprised

When they only release something in the US and Canada then they are bound to have crippled sales. I live in the UK and I wouldn't mind having one but FFS! North America only?

Kanye West blames Gmail hijack for bisexual porn hoax

Skype Digger (Remix)

They take my gmail - when I'm in need

Yeah they're rifling through, myspace indeed

Oh they are skype diggers - way over town

That digs on me.....

Goat hangs self in Canadian zoo

I have been to Calgary Zoo...

And I too, felt like the poor goat it was that bad.

RIP Goaty.

Yes! It's the wristband battery!

What?

What?