* Posts by IHateWearingATie

672 posts • joined 2 Jun 2008

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James Webb Space Telescope penciled in for launch this century. Yes, Dec 18, 2021

IHateWearingATie

I seem to remember a mate's Dad had been working on one of the satellites in that famous Ariane failure for 10 years. Think its one of the few times he cried in public!

Council culture: Software test leads to absurd local planning SNAFU

IHateWearingATie

Re: This seems like a real legal loophole

I seem to remember from my dim and distant contract law lectures that the original case law on this is from the late 1800s and relates to a price being wrong on a watch in the shop window.

Invitation to treat, offer, acceptance I think are the three stages. Prices on a website are generally held in the T&Cs to be an invitation to treat.

AWS growing so fast its revenue makes it bigger than Cisco or HP

IHateWearingATie

Currently working at a client that for various reasons has to run its own server farm rather than use AWS or others for the first time in a while. It's reminded me why AWS and other cloud services are just sooooo much easier than running it yourself.

The UK is running on empty when it comes to electric vehicle charging points

IHateWearingATie

So, closed while the delivery continued, at which point you can choose to wait a bit for the delivery to complete and it opens again or try elsewhere if you have enough fuel. As opposed to broken charge points that aren't likely to be mended that day (or even that week).

IHateWearingATie

When was the last time you got to a petrol station and found that it was closed / broken so you had to go somewhere else (as opposed to just having to wait longer as a couple of the pumps are broken) ?

My main car won't be replaced with an electric one until reliability of charging points is such that them being broken is really rare. My mate has a Tesla, and his experience is that it would be a real pain running an electric car without the excellent Tesla only charging network.

Google fined €500m for not paying French publishers after using their words on web

IHateWearingATie

I expect Google are doing the sums right not to see if the cost of paying media firms in France is more than the fine will be. My guess is that its close at around $329m per year in fines

Where's the boss? Ah right, thorough deep-dive audit. On the boardroom table. Gotcha

IHateWearingATie
Devil

A car???? I'd have been CIO within a month if that had been me!

Ethics, I've heard of them. They sound expensive.

Bitcoin doomed as a payment system and its novelty will fade, says Federal Reserve Board of Governors member

IHateWearingATie

Useless for day to day transactions

In my day to day transactions (e.g. getting paid by my employer, buying groceries etc) I have no use for a currency whose value can vary in such a large way day to day and week to week. Does inflation devalue my currency? Definitely, but its not Venezuelan proportions where I could lose half the value of my wage a week after being paid it.

Thanks, boss. The accidental creation of a lights-out data centre – what a fun surprise

IHateWearingATie
Pint

Obligatory quote...

I feel a Terry Pratchett quote coming on....

"If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH,' the paint wouldn't even have time to dry."

Nvidia refreshes GeForce RTX GPUs: More CUDA cores, crippled crypto mining

IHateWearingATie

I was thinking about replacing my 1080Ti with a 3070Ti, and with UK pricing around the £5-600 mark that matched what I paid for the old card. However, the likelihood of getting a card is close to zero without a serious investment in time, and probably bots.

Protip: If Joe Public reports that your kit is broken, maybe check that it is actually broken

IHateWearingATie

Re: "Either that, or they fib and say "of course I have, I'm not stupid"."

Jail for an axe in the face, definitely.

A 'tickle' with an electric cattle prod..... well that's a bit more understandable

Bank of England ponders minting 'Britcoin' to sit alongside the Pound

IHateWearingATie
Devil

Re: Great idea!

So, am I going to need a new wallet to fit the Canon cartridges in ? Or do I bring a small bottle and pipette to measure it out when paying?

Microsoft's Surface Laptop 4 now includes AMD options for biz customers, boasts up to 19 hours of battery life

IHateWearingATie

No 15 inch or AMD option in the UK MS store yet. 13 inch and Intel only :(

From Maidenhead to Morocco: In a change to the scheduled programming, we bring you The On Call of Dreams

IHateWearingATie

Re: Not on-call, but...

You *admitted* that it was your code? Fool!

It's always the code that they guy who just left wrote. Unless he left as he's been promoted above you. Then it's clearly a Microsoft OS bug.

IHateWearingATie

I remember my wife telling me about the awkward conversation with a client about a "customs charge" for some product they were trying to get in to Turkey (this was way before the advent of the bribery act). Trying to avoid the use of the word bribe in the conversation, the client took ages to realise what she was on about, arguing that that particular class of products should be immune to customs charges under Turkish law. The conversation mostly focused on the wide latitude that customs agents had in Turkey to apply 'additional customs charges' that had to be paid in cash to secure an 'expedited customs release'.

Just when you thought it was safe to enjoy a beer: Beware the downloaded patch applied in haste

IHateWearingATie

Re: I haven't seen a good game of Reply-to-All Tennis in years

I was working at a giant global company when that happened (2013 I think). The number of idiots doing a reply-all (to all 150,000 employees) saying "Please remove me from this list" or "Please don't reply all" was amazing.

It started at around 5pm UK time and took till 8.30pm before IT pulled the plug on the mail list.

We know it's hard to get your kicks at work – just do it away from a wall switch powering anything important

IHateWearingATie

I have duct tape (or gaffer tape) over a switch under my desk for the very same reason. That only got applied after the third unexpected power off incident, as I overestimated my ability to not kick my feet around under my desk when I read some stupid email that's arrived!

Negative Trustpilot review of law firm Summerfield Browne cost aggrieved Briton £28k

IHateWearingATie

So, reading the story it was actually the "scam solicitor" bit that meant he was lost?

Otherwise he might have won. That's nearly £10k cost per word!

Up yours, Europe! Our 100% prime British broadband is cheaper than yours... but also slower and a bit of a rip-off

IHateWearingATie

I guess I could help increase the average speed, but see little point

Currently on a Virgin Media 200/20Mb package - I could upgrade to the 500/35Mb but really don't see the point.

Early lockdown with both me and my wife working from home and the sprogs doing their schoolwork didn't tax it too much, so don't see the point in anything faster for me at the moment. I'm sure that will change in the future, but for now I'm not doing my best to help the overall average speed increase.

Tim Cook 'killed' TV project about the one website Apple hates more than The Register

IHateWearingATie
Trollface

El Reg worse than Gizmodo?

Just how naughty have you been El Reg, when Gizmodo buying a stolen phone and writing about it only gets them a 2 year Apple Ban, when you are in the perma-banned category?

Did you stamp on St Steve's kitten or something? Tell Tim C he was holding the phone wrong in a press interview? Suggest that some Apple products might be a tiny bit overpriced?

Who knew that hosing a table with copious amounts of cubic metres would trip adult filters?

IHateWearingATie

Re: Inside joke?

I've never worked out who thought that calling a firm of solicitors "Wright Hassel" was a good idea. I know its the names of the founding partners, but really?

(They're based in Leamington Spa should you want to look them up)

It's always DNS, especially when a sysadmin makes a hash of their semicolons

IHateWearingATie
Devil

Guide to religion

Vim = the one true way

Vi = heresy

Emacs = apostasy

Um, almost the entire Scots Wikipedia was written by someone with no idea of the language – 10,000s of articles

IHateWearingATie

Hen screwed up Wikipedia so Maw Broon gave him a clip round the ear.

Used to get the Sunday Post every week as a kid, loved those cartoons

IHateWearingATie

"Any other shit cliches you want to wheel out while you're logged in? Maybe something about haggis or .."

Ah, haud yer wheesh as mah mither used tae say.

No really, she did. Apparently I moaned quite a bit as a kid. Now a parent myself, I must say its a very useful saying.

Looking at some of the pages, its like that editor read some Broons cartoons in the Sunday Post and decided that they could speak Scots.

You *bang* will never *smash* humiliate me *whack* in front of *clang* the teen computer whizz *crunch* EVER AGAIN

IHateWearingATie
Mushroom

Good plan, but should have smashed it directly in front of the rest of the tech (TV, computer etc) in the house.

Pour encourager les autres.....

Ed Snowden has raked in $1m+ from speeches – and Uncle Sam wants its cut, specifically, absolutely all of it

IHateWearingATie

Why on earth did he use a booking agent in he USA? Surely it would have been far more sensible to flow everything through Russia (booking agent, bank accounts etc) so he could tell the US court system to go swivel?

Apple gives Boot Camp the boot, banishes native Windows support from Arm-compatible Macs

IHateWearingATie

Re: "...banishes native Windows support ..."

If you don't use it, then you shouldn't care. However, quite a lot of businesses (including the one I work for) have moved to buying Apple laptops for their workforce on the basis that you could also run x86 Windows apps when needed.

Without that, there are two choices. Stop buying Apple laptops that can't run x86 Windows apps easily, or move the apps to Mac. Stopping buying Apple laptops is a much cheaper option and in some cases legacy x86 Windows apps won't be able to be practically ported.

Surprise! That £339 world's first 'anti-5G' protection device is just a £5 USB drive with a nice sticker on it

IHateWearingATie
Unhappy

Gutted

Am I the only one gutted not to have thought of this first? Admittedly I would have pitched it at around £70 as £300 feels like its way beyond the point of maximising revenue, and I would have soldered a few random components on there to throw people off the trail...

Ethics - I've heard of them.

Far-right leader walks free from court after conviction for refusing to hand his phone passcode over to police

IHateWearingATie

Re: Why didn't they use s 49 RIPA?

My guess is because section 7 is looser than the limits placed under 49 (3) of RIPA:

A disclosure requirement in respect of any protected information is necessary on grounds falling within this subsection if it is necessary—

(a)in the interests of national security;

(b)for the purpose of preventing or detecting crime; or

(c)in the interests of the economic well-being of the United Kingdom.

versus (from schedule 7):

An examining officer who questions a person under paragraph 2 may, for the purpose of determining whether he falls within section 40(1)(b)—

(a)search the person;

(b)search anything which he has with him, or which belongs to him, and which is on a ship or aircraft;

(c)search anything which he has with him, or which belongs to him, and which the examining officer reasonably believes has been, or is about to be, on a ship or aircraft;

Tech's Volkswagen moment? Trend Micro accused of cheating Microsoft driver QA by detecting test suite

IHateWearingATie
Go

Re: Petty or Pedant?

Never apologise for pedantry on El Reg. It's what we thrive on.

Britain has no idea how close it came to ATMs flooding the streets with free money thanks to some crap code, 1970s style

IHateWearingATie
Joke

Re: Experienced tester.

"Users have a habit of using software in ways the designers never thought of."

Yeah, the bastards.

Bloody users, fouling up my elegant software with their 'requirements' and 'needs'.

ICANN finally halts $1.1bn sale of .org registry, says it's 'the right thing to do' after months of controversy

IHateWearingATie

Re: Shame on you, Kieren

This looked to me like an insider deal to asset strip the registry, nothing more.

Nothing about the ownership, this was about a former CEO of ICANN looking like he was unfairly making a quick buck (actually a lot more than that!).

Academics demand answers from NHS over potential data timebomb ticking inside new UK contact-tracing app

IHateWearingATie
Mushroom

This is typical public sector thinking - great being the enemy of good.

The extra information they are after will be very very useful in lots of situations, but they have missed the glaring issue of privacy. It could cause far fewer people to sign up, meaning that it misses what it is meant to do in the first place (apparently you need at least 60% of the population to use it for it to be effective), and we can pretty much guarantee some kind of snafu to allow access to the data for people we don't want to access it.

Most frustrating.

Dumpster diving to revive a crashing NetWare server? It was acceptable in the '90s

IHateWearingATie
Devil

Re: A long time ago

Too true - if a bodge job seems to work, the attention of management moves on and a temporary hack held together with (literally in this case) blu tack soon becomes the new normal.

I'd never have been guilty of that .......

In case you need more proof the world's gone mad: Behold, Apple's $699 Mac Pro wheels

IHateWearingATie

Re: Re Cycle Wheels

"Rule #5 motherfuckers" is heard often in our office full of MAMILs

Microsoft attempts to up its Teams game with new features while locked-down folk flock to rival Zoom... warts and all

IHateWearingATie

Multiple accounts!

"Next up is the common requirement to log into multiple accounts, trivial with Slack. "

I need this. As with most Microsoft things, it doesn't quite work right when you are working on a laptop linked via active directory linked to my employer, but trying to access mail, MS Teams etc via a log in that my client has given me. This has never quite worked for web access (weird behaviour when clicking links etc) and now the same thing is happening in Teams, where even if I create a meeting request in my client account, behind the scenes MS Teams thinks that it is linked to my employer's AD account.

Frustrating.

(My employer uses Slack rather than Teams - first time I opened it was when I started working with my current client!)

UK big five carriers bin wired broadband download quotas for as long as we're all stuck indoors

IHateWearingATie
Stop

There's huge difference between 'essential' and give it away for free.

The Labour proposal (free broadband for everyone) was a waste of public money and was rightly scoffed at.

Google reveals the wheels almost literally fell off one of its cloudy server racks

IHateWearingATie

"A stepfather could indeed be younger than their own stepson."

See? Richard here gets it!

Every single scenario you can imagine exists out there somewhere!

IHateWearingATie
Devil

I was working on the national insurance system in the early 2000s - we had 70 million people records (as pensions for live people sometimes rely on those who are not), and the saying was that one in a million possibilities happen 70 times in a single batch run, so we had to really think through the code design.

Have 15 slots for children in your database design? There's always a family with more kids than slots so the design needs to be different.

Don't expect numbers in a name? One idiot changed his middle name to his national insurance number.

Only one spouse? Bigamists pay national insurance like the rest of us. Can't just dump out an error there and crash the batch job.

The list was endless - it taught me that whatever screwy situation you can imagine definitely exists out there in more numbers than you can imagine!

Can you hear me now? Roadtesting Anker's first Bluetooth speakerphone

IHateWearingATie
Coat

Re: a touch bigger than a hockey puck

Maybe El Reg should add 'urinal cake' to the range of acceptable measures?

Admittedly not helpful for those readers who don't use urinals, but they could suggest a suitable alternative.

Ofcom measured UK's 5G radiation and found that, no, it won't give you cancer

IHateWearingATie
Mushroom

5G is 5 times more dangerous

Its in the title of the technology, how can you not see? 5G = 5 times more dangerous, 5 times more radiation!

You'll be sorry The Register, when your hamsters get cancer and your arm hair all falls out.

A 5G transmitter turned on near me and I haven't slept since - symptoms are profuse sweating, anxiety, lack of appetite and my dog won't stop howling at the moon.

If that's not evidence, I don't know what is.

The self-disconnecting switch: Ghost in the machine or just a desire to save some cash?

IHateWearingATie
IT Angle

Re: I don't remember though if it was 2.40 or 1.40

"But I do remember that it had a heart of chrome, and a voice like a horny angel."

Have an upvote for maybe the first instance of a Meatloaf quote sneaked in on the Reg forums?

All that Samsung users found on UK website after weird Find my Mobile push notification was... other people's details

IHateWearingATie
WTF?

What is odd for me is that not only had I disabled that app, I don't think I even have a Samsung account!

Elon Musk shows world that he is truly awful at something

IHateWearingATie
Thumb Down

Terrible

I'm a fan of this kind of EDM and listen to it a lot.

That is terrible.

And then there were two: HMS Prince of Wales joins Royal Navy

IHateWearingATie
Mushroom

Re: Air Cover?

Never, thanks to a combination of stupidity in MoD's procurement department and larceny by the ship builders. We're stuck with two floating gin palaces as they don't have cats and traps, so we have to buy the massively complex and expensive F-35B VTOL capable plane, rather than a mixture of expensive and cheaper fixed wing aircraft.

And don't get me started on the lack of radar aircraft that can use it (again because of the lack of cats and traps). - even an old P-3C Oriion would be better than using either a helicopter or basically having to sail with the Americans using their E-2C Hawkeyes..

We've found it... the last shred of human decency in an IT director – all for a poxy Unix engineer

IHateWearingATie
Devil

I refused to give the name

Someone working for me caused a data breach incident once - I didn't name them in the ensuing shitstorm as it was a mistake borne of too much work, too little sleep and lots of pressure.

I figured I was going soft that day, as my usual approach is not just to drop them in in it, but randomly ensure the blame lands on others as well a a bit of collateral damage. Always helps to keep the troops on their toes.

I don't just climb the greasy pole, I attach landmines to make sure no one else follows me up it :)

Don't look too closely at what is seeping out of the big Dutch pipe

IHateWearingATie

My first role was in 2nd line support in the late nineties. The company in question had invested in mobile phones that you could connect to the laptops for dial up access on the go - mostly for the sales force to connect to the lotus notes based sales system (connect, replicate, disconnect - I loved Lotus Notes), but also for some of the senior execs.

Helpdesk had been speaking to one user about some trouble dialling up from his mobile and couldn't diagnose it over the phone so it was dropped off at my desk. I fixed it (probably some driver issue, can't really remember) and opened the internet browser to do some testing, thinking I would click on Favourites to pick a couple of websites that the user has to ensure that it works. As a niave 21 year old I never realised that Nylon Fetish was a thing - my first exposure to the maxim that if you have a thing, there is probably a website for it. Hastily closed the browser and spoke to my boss about what to do. Turned out the user was the global head of Legal, and was advised by my boss to delete the favourites and forget all about what I'd seen. Wise words I suspect.

In Hemel Hempstead, cycling is as bad as taking a leak in the middle of the street

IHateWearingATie

Re: Despite the completely empty cycle route

Bunhill Row at the edge of the City of London is a one way street with two way cycle route on it. Unfortunately the signage and road painting was sporadic and awful (it could be they have improved it) so a pedestrian would just assume its a one way street and possibly not look both ways before crossing (its a cut through down from silicon roundabout with not a lot of traffic. I would call it quiet but a ruddy great tower is being built there so its anything by quiet!

The time a Commodore CDTV disc proved its worth as something other than a coaster

IHateWearingATie
Facepalm

Re: hmm

I once had an argument with Brent council as to whether my flat had been demolished. To build a new supermarket a few houses had been demolished, and the supermarket had built a small block of 6 flats to replace them. However, Brent Council hadn't updated their records (bearing in mind the flats had been there for at least 2 years when I moved in) - hence a somewhat bemusing conversation when I tried to register for council tax where I was insisting that I would definitely noticed if I was living in a pile of rubble.

Rise of the Machines hair-raiser: The day IBM's Dot Matrix turned

IHateWearingATie

Re: Let's face it, who amongst us hasn't lost a tie to the...

...see my username.

Luckily not worked at a client that has needed a tie for ages

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