* Posts by IHateWearingATie

682 publicly visible posts • joined 2 Jun 2008


Share your 2024 tech forecasts (wrong answers only) to win a terrible sweater


My suggestion.....

The suggested products from Amazon actually turn out to be useful, and not just more versions of the things that I have bought already.

"You recently bought a table - here's a list of other tables that you might like. We would suggest some chairs, but that would be too useful."

Shock horror – and there goes the network neighborhood


I have learnt over many years to leave things well enough alone. Merely the act of checking on something can cause a system that had been working perfectly to break.

Blissful ignorance is my happy place

Goodbye Azure AD, Entra the drag on your time and money


Re: Time to rename it and make it just part of the Entra brand

You're mistaken. Marketers are droids. Licensers are devils or demons.

Samsung’s midrange A54 is lovely, but users won't feel seen


Re: Reviews are pretty pointless these days

Oh my word - I haven't had a phone with that for ages!

I loved messing with the TV at the in-laws as they wondered what's going on.

Without competition, TCS wins back UK pensions body in £1.5B mega-deal


Let's be honest

I've been involved in loads of these kinds of tenders, public and private sector. All the usual suspects are about the same, it depends on who's fielded the biggest liar .... sorry, best salesman in the process. TCS, Atos.... it'll all be much of a muchness.

Intel to rebrand client chips once Meteor Lake splashes down


Re: Marketing: Intel Core Super Wolf Blood Moon 7 XIII

Shut up and take my money. More than a blood moon, its a super wolf blood moon!

I assume it can run Crysis?

James Webb Space Telescope suffers another hitch: Instrument down


I think L2 is 4 times further away than we've ever managed to send humans from earth and bring them back alive. Volunteers for a one way trip to fix something anyone?

Accenture announces 'Accenture Song' – not a tune, but a rebrand


There was an unofficial song...

.... I seem to remember a very ambitious manager in the USA created something and tried to get it to be officially adopted. It was doing the rounds in the early 2000s - I suspect in the USA as a serious thing, in the UK it was sent as a joke.

Don't have a copy of it unfortunately, but it was as bad as you imagine

Openness of Oracle licensing and audit tools questioned


Because no one ever gets fired for choosing Oracle.

Until, of course, the bill from the licencing compliance people comes in.

I've built up a small list of companies I never want to do business with again over the course of my career. Oracle are at the top of that list.

Offering Patreon subs in sterling or euros means you can be sued under GDPR, says Court of Appeal


Re: On the other hand...the corollary

US courts tend to take a very wide view of what is in their territorial jurisdiction. The best assumption you can make is that if you have a map with the USA marked on it in your house, or know what the capital of the USA is, their courts will assume they own your ass.

Ooh, an update. Let's install it. What could possibly go wro-


Re: Netware? Less than 20 years ago? Where was he working - Jurassic Park?

Hah! I can well imagine that was the case. Lucky is the techie who hasn't worked at an org that isn't so much behind the curve as using a telescope to see the curve accelerating away from them.

In 2001 at a certain public sector organisation I was still coding updates for a user interface running on Windows 3.11. I bet they thought of Netware still as newfangled technology.

Reason 3,995 to hold off on that Windows 11 upgrade: Iffy performance on AMD silicon


Re: Who is This Guy?

@Captain Scarlet

Don't worry, I've taken up the mantle temporarily. Down vote registered!

*runs away cackling*

Firewalls? Pfft – it's no match for my mighty spares-bin PC


Re: Temporary hacks aren't.

"[0] Just to cut the usual pack of idiots putting words into my mouth off at the socks, no, I didn't write the whole stack. That's why I said "part of". It was only about 120 lines of C in total."

Dammit, I was looking forward to that bun fight.



This feels like it was a missed opportunity for an ..... enhanced...... redundancy package, as well as a lucrative ongoing support contract.

The BOFH would never have let this one slide.

James Webb Space Telescope penciled in for launch this century. Yes, Dec 18, 2021


I seem to remember a mate's Dad had been working on one of the satellites in that famous Ariane failure for 10 years. Think its one of the few times he cried in public!

Council culture: Software test leads to absurd local planning SNAFU


Re: This seems like a real legal loophole

I seem to remember from my dim and distant contract law lectures that the original case law on this is from the late 1800s and relates to a price being wrong on a watch in the shop window.

Invitation to treat, offer, acceptance I think are the three stages. Prices on a website are generally held in the T&Cs to be an invitation to treat.

AWS growing so fast its revenue makes it bigger than Cisco or HP


Currently working at a client that for various reasons has to run its own server farm rather than use AWS or others for the first time in a while. It's reminded me why AWS and other cloud services are just sooooo much easier than running it yourself.

The UK is running on empty when it comes to electric vehicle charging points


So, closed while the delivery continued, at which point you can choose to wait a bit for the delivery to complete and it opens again or try elsewhere if you have enough fuel. As opposed to broken charge points that aren't likely to be mended that day (or even that week).


When was the last time you got to a petrol station and found that it was closed / broken so you had to go somewhere else (as opposed to just having to wait longer as a couple of the pumps are broken) ?

My main car won't be replaced with an electric one until reliability of charging points is such that them being broken is really rare. My mate has a Tesla, and his experience is that it would be a real pain running an electric car without the excellent Tesla only charging network.

Google fined €500m for not paying French publishers after using their words on web


I expect Google are doing the sums right not to see if the cost of paying media firms in France is more than the fine will be. My guess is that its close at around $329m per year in fines

Where's the boss? Ah right, thorough deep-dive audit. On the boardroom table. Gotcha


A car???? I'd have been CIO within a month if that had been me!

Ethics, I've heard of them. They sound expensive.

Bitcoin doomed as a payment system and its novelty will fade, says Federal Reserve Board of Governors member


Useless for day to day transactions

In my day to day transactions (e.g. getting paid by my employer, buying groceries etc) I have no use for a currency whose value can vary in such a large way day to day and week to week. Does inflation devalue my currency? Definitely, but its not Venezuelan proportions where I could lose half the value of my wage a week after being paid it.

Thanks, boss. The accidental creation of a lights-out data centre – what a fun surprise


Obligatory quote...

I feel a Terry Pratchett quote coming on....

"If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH,' the paint wouldn't even have time to dry."

Nvidia refreshes GeForce RTX GPUs: More CUDA cores, crippled crypto mining


I was thinking about replacing my 1080Ti with a 3070Ti, and with UK pricing around the £5-600 mark that matched what I paid for the old card. However, the likelihood of getting a card is close to zero without a serious investment in time, and probably bots.

Protip: If Joe Public reports that your kit is broken, maybe check that it is actually broken


Re: "Either that, or they fib and say "of course I have, I'm not stupid"."

Jail for an axe in the face, definitely.

A 'tickle' with an electric cattle prod..... well that's a bit more understandable

Bank of England ponders minting 'Britcoin' to sit alongside the Pound


Re: Great idea!

So, am I going to need a new wallet to fit the Canon cartridges in ? Or do I bring a small bottle and pipette to measure it out when paying?

Microsoft's Surface Laptop 4 now includes AMD options for biz customers, boasts up to 19 hours of battery life


No 15 inch or AMD option in the UK MS store yet. 13 inch and Intel only :(

From Maidenhead to Morocco: In a change to the scheduled programming, we bring you The On Call of Dreams


Re: Not on-call, but...

You *admitted* that it was your code? Fool!

It's always the code that they guy who just left wrote. Unless he left as he's been promoted above you. Then it's clearly a Microsoft OS bug.


I remember my wife telling me about the awkward conversation with a client about a "customs charge" for some product they were trying to get in to Turkey (this was way before the advent of the bribery act). Trying to avoid the use of the word bribe in the conversation, the client took ages to realise what she was on about, arguing that that particular class of products should be immune to customs charges under Turkish law. The conversation mostly focused on the wide latitude that customs agents had in Turkey to apply 'additional customs charges' that had to be paid in cash to secure an 'expedited customs release'.

Just when you thought it was safe to enjoy a beer: Beware the downloaded patch applied in haste


Re: I haven't seen a good game of Reply-to-All Tennis in years

I was working at a giant global company when that happened (2013 I think). The number of idiots doing a reply-all (to all 150,000 employees) saying "Please remove me from this list" or "Please don't reply all" was amazing.

It started at around 5pm UK time and took till 8.30pm before IT pulled the plug on the mail list.

We know it's hard to get your kicks at work – just do it away from a wall switch powering anything important


I have duct tape (or gaffer tape) over a switch under my desk for the very same reason. That only got applied after the third unexpected power off incident, as I overestimated my ability to not kick my feet around under my desk when I read some stupid email that's arrived!

Negative Trustpilot review of law firm Summerfield Browne cost aggrieved Briton £28k


So, reading the story it was actually the "scam solicitor" bit that meant he was lost?

Otherwise he might have won. That's nearly £10k cost per word!

Up yours, Europe! Our 100% prime British broadband is cheaper than yours... but also slower and a bit of a rip-off


I guess I could help increase the average speed, but see little point

Currently on a Virgin Media 200/20Mb package - I could upgrade to the 500/35Mb but really don't see the point.

Early lockdown with both me and my wife working from home and the sprogs doing their schoolwork didn't tax it too much, so don't see the point in anything faster for me at the moment. I'm sure that will change in the future, but for now I'm not doing my best to help the overall average speed increase.

Tim Cook 'killed' TV project about the one website Apple hates more than The Register


El Reg worse than Gizmodo?

Just how naughty have you been El Reg, when Gizmodo buying a stolen phone and writing about it only gets them a 2 year Apple Ban, when you are in the perma-banned category?

Did you stamp on St Steve's kitten or something? Tell Tim C he was holding the phone wrong in a press interview? Suggest that some Apple products might be a tiny bit overpriced?

Who knew that hosing a table with copious amounts of cubic metres would trip adult filters?


Re: Inside joke?

I've never worked out who thought that calling a firm of solicitors "Wright Hassel" was a good idea. I know its the names of the founding partners, but really?

(They're based in Leamington Spa should you want to look them up)

It's always DNS, especially when a sysadmin makes a hash of their semicolons


Guide to religion

Vim = the one true way

Vi = heresy

Emacs = apostasy

Um, almost the entire Scots Wikipedia was written by someone with no idea of the language – 10,000s of articles


Hen screwed up Wikipedia so Maw Broon gave him a clip round the ear.

Used to get the Sunday Post every week as a kid, loved those cartoons


"Any other shit cliches you want to wheel out while you're logged in? Maybe something about haggis or .."

Ah, haud yer wheesh as mah mither used tae say.

No really, she did. Apparently I moaned quite a bit as a kid. Now a parent myself, I must say its a very useful saying.

Looking at some of the pages, its like that editor read some Broons cartoons in the Sunday Post and decided that they could speak Scots.

You *bang* will never *smash* humiliate me *whack* in front of *clang* the teen computer whizz *crunch* EVER AGAIN


Good plan, but should have smashed it directly in front of the rest of the tech (TV, computer etc) in the house.

Pour encourager les autres.....

Ed Snowden has raked in $1m+ from speeches – and Uncle Sam wants its cut, specifically, absolutely all of it


Why on earth did he use a booking agent in he USA? Surely it would have been far more sensible to flow everything through Russia (booking agent, bank accounts etc) so he could tell the US court system to go swivel?

Apple gives Boot Camp the boot, banishes native Windows support from Arm-compatible Macs


Re: "...banishes native Windows support ..."

If you don't use it, then you shouldn't care. However, quite a lot of businesses (including the one I work for) have moved to buying Apple laptops for their workforce on the basis that you could also run x86 Windows apps when needed.

Without that, there are two choices. Stop buying Apple laptops that can't run x86 Windows apps easily, or move the apps to Mac. Stopping buying Apple laptops is a much cheaper option and in some cases legacy x86 Windows apps won't be able to be practically ported.

Surprise! That £339 world's first 'anti-5G' protection device is just a £5 USB drive with a nice sticker on it



Am I the only one gutted not to have thought of this first? Admittedly I would have pitched it at around £70 as £300 feels like its way beyond the point of maximising revenue, and I would have soldered a few random components on there to throw people off the trail...

Ethics - I've heard of them.

Far-right leader walks free from court after conviction for refusing to hand his phone passcode over to police


Re: Why didn't they use s 49 RIPA?

My guess is because section 7 is looser than the limits placed under 49 (3) of RIPA:

A disclosure requirement in respect of any protected information is necessary on grounds falling within this subsection if it is necessary—

(a)in the interests of national security;

(b)for the purpose of preventing or detecting crime; or

(c)in the interests of the economic well-being of the United Kingdom.

versus (from schedule 7):

An examining officer who questions a person under paragraph 2 may, for the purpose of determining whether he falls within section 40(1)(b)—

(a)search the person;

(b)search anything which he has with him, or which belongs to him, and which is on a ship or aircraft;

(c)search anything which he has with him, or which belongs to him, and which the examining officer reasonably believes has been, or is about to be, on a ship or aircraft;

Tech's Volkswagen moment? Trend Micro accused of cheating Microsoft driver QA by detecting test suite


Re: Petty or Pedant?

Never apologise for pedantry on El Reg. It's what we thrive on.

Britain has no idea how close it came to ATMs flooding the streets with free money thanks to some crap code, 1970s style


Re: Experienced tester.

"Users have a habit of using software in ways the designers never thought of."

Yeah, the bastards.

Bloody users, fouling up my elegant software with their 'requirements' and 'needs'.

ICANN finally halts $1.1bn sale of .org registry, says it's 'the right thing to do' after months of controversy


Re: Shame on you, Kieren

This looked to me like an insider deal to asset strip the registry, nothing more.

Nothing about the ownership, this was about a former CEO of ICANN looking like he was unfairly making a quick buck (actually a lot more than that!).

Academics demand answers from NHS over potential data timebomb ticking inside new UK contact-tracing app


This is typical public sector thinking - great being the enemy of good.

The extra information they are after will be very very useful in lots of situations, but they have missed the glaring issue of privacy. It could cause far fewer people to sign up, meaning that it misses what it is meant to do in the first place (apparently you need at least 60% of the population to use it for it to be effective), and we can pretty much guarantee some kind of snafu to allow access to the data for people we don't want to access it.

Most frustrating.

Dumpster diving to revive a crashing NetWare server? It was acceptable in the '90s


Re: A long time ago

Too true - if a bodge job seems to work, the attention of management moves on and a temporary hack held together with (literally in this case) blu tack soon becomes the new normal.

I'd never have been guilty of that .......

In case you need more proof the world's gone mad: Behold, Apple's $699 Mac Pro wheels


Re: Re Cycle Wheels

"Rule #5 motherfuckers" is heard often in our office full of MAMILs

Microsoft attempts to up its Teams game with new features while locked-down folk flock to rival Zoom... warts and all


Multiple accounts!

"Next up is the common requirement to log into multiple accounts, trivial with Slack. "

I need this. As with most Microsoft things, it doesn't quite work right when you are working on a laptop linked via active directory linked to my employer, but trying to access mail, MS Teams etc via a log in that my client has given me. This has never quite worked for web access (weird behaviour when clicking links etc) and now the same thing is happening in Teams, where even if I create a meeting request in my client account, behind the scenes MS Teams thinks that it is linked to my employer's AD account.


(My employer uses Slack rather than Teams - first time I opened it was when I started working with my current client!)