Tariffs should be designed to alter decisions. You can inflict selective tariffs on coffee because there are alternative sources consumers can turn to, which hurts Colombia a lot but diffuses the higher costs across an entire industry/market and reduces their impact on end consumers. Additionally, messing with Colombia paints them with a pail of uncertainty, which is probably more to the point; if you want to be a dick to Colombia this is the best path because revoked tariffs don't affect customers much at all but Colombia's relationships will be overshadowed by it for years.
That said, the rest of your points are rubbish. Dinging one source of coffee but leaving the rest of the world open does not mean America will turn to chemical-based foods. In fact similar products from other markets will fill in and the tariff could meet its goal. On the other hand the other sources of semiconductors are much harder to find or create, as evidenced by your own quote, and so that tariff makes no sense.
The larger issue of why America needs to start being a dick is a reflection of our new orange hairball of insecurity. A concrete move towards American semiconductor production was far more likely to build that missing local source, at least compared to smashing the industry with huge unavoidable costs. Not sure how that squares with promises to control inflation, but this whole thing is emotional theater and not sound economic policy. Bah, this sucks.