Posts by A. Coatsworth

We challenged you to come up with tech predictions for 2024 (wrong answers only) – here are some favorites so far

ODFO, mr. Coward. The Cambridge Dictionary uses "Legos" in one of its examples, so I'll take their word over some rando's on the Internet.

During the pandemic mr Speed went a bit nuts with Legos and knock-off Legos. Those are indeed a saturn V, a Saturn 1B and the Discovery among many others.

This is one example

No link between internet use and poor mental health, according to Oxford boffins

The Zuck must be ecstatic with this study. After all, if the internet doesn't affect wellbeing, then neither do Instagram filters

Share your 2024 tech forecasts (wrong answers only) to win a terrible sweater

Microsoft, having heard the feedback from its valued customers, releases Windows 12 with a simple option to turn off all telemetry. No account is needed to set up the operative system for home users.

Also, the new Windows includes a selection of skins that gives the user the option to get the complete look and feel of Win 2000, NT, XP, Vista or 8.1.

Edge is not installed by default. Instead a launcher allows the user to download the latest version of FF, Edge, Chrome, Opera or Brave.

User read the manual, followed instructions, still couldn't make 'Excel' work

You make a Power-ful Point

US nuke reactor lab hit by 'gay furry hackers' demanding cat-human mutants

Re: If you crossed a cat with a human

...for specific values of "everyone "

HP sued over use of forfeited 401(k) retirement contributions

Nominative determinism

Hewlett Packard

Hayes Pawlenko,

Paul Hutchins

Makes sense, in an Onion-esque sort of way

Lawyer guilty of arrogance after ignoring tech support

Re: Are you sure, this isn't the plot of an IT Crowd epsiode?

Damn desk rabbits, they are the worst

Rights warriors claim online ad auction data a danger to national security

Re: Only one answer

Things are so dire, I don't even care if we don't take off beforehand...

Vote now on who should take the lead in Musk: The Movie

Re: Joaquin Phoenix

Nah, way too dignified. It would be giving too much credit to the source material, to use such a good actor. Same goes for Christoph Waltz.

Rob Schneider would be closer to the cringe-worthiness mark needed.

Beijing reportedly asked Hikvision to identify fasting students in Muslim-majority province

Re: Stranger than fiction

First paragraph: this could be buildingto an interesting point about cross-cultural relatioships...

Second paragraph: the CCP is here to protect you from yourself

China’s annual e-tail frenzy broke records – trust us, say government, Alibaba and JD.com

As I understand it, the idea behind "singles day" (besides mindless consumerism) was for single people to pamper themselves and be ok with themselves.

As far as these manufactured holidays go, it doesn't seem like the worst idea possible

4,000 days of Curiosity: Rover still 'strong' despite worn joints, vision issues

Premature wear of the MSL wheels

Abstract: The anomalous wheel wear suggests that loads and terrains representative of actual operational conditions were not adequately simulated during life testing

NASA built an amazingly resilient rover because they can overengineer what they do, but it doesn't mean the author's phrasing is wrong, going by NASA's own assessment.

FTX crypto-villain Sam Bankman-Fried convicted on all charges

>>That's cold comfort to investors whose faith in the growth of digital assets with no intrinsic value saw them trust FTX to make them money.

It may be cold for them, but I am warm in the cozy glow of unmitigated Schadenfreude

Australian video-streamer lets users opt out of ads for burgers, booze, and betting

Re: Adblockers

Because they don´t know any better?

I wouldn't expect my dear dad to even *realize* adblockers are a thing, if I don't inform him. How could he find that out by himself and move as to install the appropriate add on or program?

Like him, most people accept online ads as a fact of life, because it has been like this since the times of TV and newspapers, and because it is not obvious that one can deal with them. Plus the fact that it requires a smidge of investigation most people is not willing or able to do.

It is not like one can see ads for adblockers, is it?

After nine servers he worked on failed, techie imagined next career as beach vendor

Re: eventuate

What?

It is a perfectly cromulent word.

NASA to equip International Space Station with frikkin lasers (for comms)

Re: How big?

You forgot your icon, my good sir ---->

Japan to probe Google over 'suspicion' that antitrust laws are being broken

Re: "Android is an open source platform"

Starting a declaration with Android is an open source platform is the corporate-speak equivalent of me yelling "Pocket sand!" at the srtart of a fight

‘How not to hire a North Korean plant posing as a techie’ guide updated by US and South Korean authorities

Re: Best code ever!

Ah, the Ballmer Peak!

Obligatory xkcd: https://xkcd.com/323/

Thousands of Teslas recalled over brake fluid bug

To mangle the well-know proverb: "if a sensor throws an alarm, and no app records it, did it happen?"

Japan cruises ahead with drive-thru EV charging trial

Re: Vehicle ID based charging

Odd how ICE vehicles managed to recharge their energy storage for decades without apps, cards, RFIDs or transmitting any information to anyone... but in this brave new world being inconvenienced for the sake of data slurpage seems to be the new normal.

... and before anyone asks, yes, I am a sad luddite

British boffins say aircraft could fly on trash, cutting pollution debt by 80%

Re: more BS university studies

>> there are large chunks of UK farmland that aren't suitable for growing crops

It is ok, because there are vast swathes of land around the tropics that are basically unused... you know, they are simply covered with useless rainforest. Thanks to the increase in biofuel prices, clever enterpreneurs are turning these uselss lands into corn and oil palm plantations, which is sooo much better for the environment.

China's top crypto-mining hardware-maker reportedly furloughs staff

Care to enlighten us? Or will you send me to "do my own research"?

That smugness does wonders to foster the understandig of this difficult topic

Cat accused of wiping US Veteran Affairs server info after jumping on keyboard

If a million monkeys with a million typrewriters can write Shakespeare, surely one million cats walking on a million keyboards can hack any digital system.

They are the spawn of the Devil, after all

Microsoft introduces AI meddling to your files with Copilot in OneDrive

>>What are the chances that this will only work in Edge?

Well, there is hope after all!

Outlook's clingy 'reopen last session' prompt gets the boot

Re: Perpetual Office

Came here to say the same thing.

It has shades of Mr. Burns' "Don't forget: you are here forever"

Epic cut: Fortnite games maker culls 16% of staff

a marketing company focused on appealing to children.

Why does something like this exist?

How does something like this exist?

There is really no God

Zuck dives deeper into the metaverse, dragging Snoop Dogg along for ride

>>Yet Zuck seems to think we're ready to go through all that [Google Glass] again.

Sadly, I think they may be right: in the decade since Glass, a generation accustomed to have their whole life online and their nose glued to a phone screen, reached adulthood.

I'm afraid for them having cameras pointed at them all the time, and all their data beamed instantly to Facebook, won't seem as onerous a to us old farts.

Icon: yes, that's me, yelling at a cloud

Now IBM sued for age discrim by its own HR veterans

Is there a Goldwin law equivalent for "slavery"?

These disconcerting comparisons of anything to slavery is becoming more and more common online

Scientists suggest possible solution to space-induced bone loss

I for one...

>>not only prevented bone loss in the ISS' rodent residents, but even increased bone density.

Who else had "rodents of unusual strenght from outer space", for the Apocalypse Bingo?

Google Bard can now tap into your Gmail, Docs, more

Re: Spot the problem

Oh, that is easy to do: Log to your Google account on web, not on a phone, go to Settings, not to Configuration and...

YOU ARE IN A MAZE OF TWISTY LITTLE PASSAGES, ALL ALIKE

Welp! tough luck. Beware of the grue

'Small monthly payment' only thing that stands between X and bot chaos, says Musk

Re: Godlike genius Elon Musk ?

beneath of the dignity of a respectable ... site .

Luckily, we are on El Reg and not on one of these boring sites

Portable Large Language Models – not the iPhone 15 – are the future of the smartphone

Trusting every aspect of our lives to a giant computer was the smartest thing we ever did!

- Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror XII

Kind of funny in 2001, rather frightening in 2024

Bombshell biography: Fearing nuclear war, Musk blocked Starlink to stymie Ukraine attack on Russia

Sooo... how did Musk know exactly when to cut comms? was he eavesdropping on all Starlinks? or Ukraine had the great idea of inform him of their military actions?

The whole story is more than a bit musky...

NASA's OSIRIS-REx spacecraft is returning with its first-ever asteroid sample

Re: Sample canister contents

I proppose for Lane 9 The Colour out of Space. It comes from beyond the stars and doesn't answer to our universe's laws

BOFH: What a beautiful tinfoil hat, Boss!

Re: Another new boss!

The answer is 42, isn't it?

_{Don't know why this BOFH ended up so Hitchhikery but I am not complaining}

UK air traffic woes caused by 'invalid flight plan data'

Re: Expertise

... then an user walks into the bar, asks for a payphone and the bar promptly catches fire

Europe's tough new rules for Big Tech start today. Is anyone ready?

Re: Scary, are we blind to this?

On one hand the elites are imposing these laws to control people.

On the other, the same elites are fighting tooth and nail not to apply the laws.

This is indeed 5D-psyops-falseflag chess

Dropbox limits ‘all the storage you need’ unlimited plan, blames abusive users

And before you ask: Yes, you can blame crypto creeps for this

No, I don't think I will do that.

I will blame marketing sleazeballs who sell promises that are impossible to fulfill and then make a surpised Pikachu face when people tries to take their word.

Hollywood studios agree AI-generated content should not reduce humans' pay or credit

Re: And just as promised and Registered earlier re: Veni, vidi, vici ......

What have you brought to this accursed land, by explaining amanfrommars to explain itself?

California DMV hits brakes on Cruise's SF driverless fleet after series of fender benders

>> from Lille, and a really nice person

I just know there is an extremely french joke lurking there. I just can't grasp it.

Moscow makes a mess on the Moon as Luna 25 probe misses orbit, lands with a thud

Of course there are fascist on the Moon, especially in the South Pole! And they wouldn't allow a meedling Kommunist[] craft to blow away their secret.

[1] They've been there since '45, may not even been aware of the fall of the USSR

I know what you did next summer: Microsoft to kill off Xbox 360 Store

media purchased through the Xbox's Movies and TV app

... That word doesn't mean what you think it means

BOFH: Zen and the art of battery replacement

Let's make a deal

- You can choose the shiny new E-bike that is being presented by our lovely PFY, or...

- Or...?

- Or the Mystery Prize that is behind the curtain!

- Mystery Prize! Mystery Prize!

- Ok, go ahead and claim it

- There is only an open window behind the curtain, what gives?

- Correction, a seventh-floor open window

- ‽

- Good night and until next Friday!

80% of execs regret calling employees back to the office

Re: Idiocracy

the voting numbers on this post sounds about right for a worker:parasite ratio at a normal place.

I guess even the PHB managed to find out how to use a PC and get in El Reg

Zoom's new London hub – where 'remote work' meets 'we need you back in the office'

You, shir, win internet for today.

Enjoy a cold one on your way to Montana - No papers!

Boeing abandons plans for crewed Starliner flight in 2023

Re: Here we go again.... remember Apollo 1 fire

"Space is hard" is the goto excuse when somethig goes wrong with this new generation of spaceships... but it wouldn't be as hard if they didn't actively ignore lessons learned (the hard way) 60 years ago!

Northern Ireland police may have endangered its own officers by posting details online in error

Re: Unintentional?

Not sure why the surprise... that's the "SN" in SNAFU

We'd pay good money to see... oh dear, Elon Musk 'needs an MRI scan'

Hasbeen in chronic pain for years

Him munching veterinary-strenght painkillers as if they were Skittles would go a looong way explaining his behavior

BOFH: WELCOME TO COLOSSAL SERVER ROOM ADVENTURE!!

Re: No win game

Strange game. The only winning move is not to play [against the BOFH]