* Posts by A. Coatsworth

664 posts • joined 29 May 2008

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Amazon buys Roomba maker iRobot for $1.7b

A. Coatsworth
Devil

"We have no plans to operate iRobot differently than how they operate today[...]"

We will change it sooner rather than later, it is just that we won't let users know ahead of time.

Virgin Galactic delays commercial suborbital flights again

A. Coatsworth
IT Angle

Science?

>>private science and research clients (expected to take 100 of the first 1,000 seats)

What science can be achieved from a 10 minutes flight that doesn't even reach the Kármán line? Other than how to make half a million dollars disappear, of course.

Edit: Ok. Wikipedia informs me that the passengers experienced 4 minutes of weightlessness in the previous flight, which is kind of impressive when compared to the Vomit Comet's 30 seconds... but do they have any room to maneuver inside the ship?

Enough with the notifications! Focus Assist will shut them u… 'But I'm too important!'

A. Coatsworth
Gimp

Re: Another great victory for Tim Cook and Jonathan Ive

>>almost as much as the Windows machine...

Understatement of the Century!

A friend's Mac will read aloud the current time, at the top of the hour, EVERY SINGLE HOUR.

I can't fathom how can someone work, or live, like that. It sends me into a murderous rage.

Large Hadron Collider experiment reveals three exotic particles

A. Coatsworth
Mushroom

Re: Why is it so complex?

The Universe was simple.

Then, someone figured out how it worked, so it disappeared and was replaced with the current mess.

It's a crime to use Google Analytics, watchdog tells Italian website

A. Coatsworth

Google must be trembling in its boots

Courts in three countries have reached the same conclusion and yet SFA has changed with regards to analytics.

Are you sure Google et al have anything to fear? It is not that I don't trust the regulators to take decisive action, but... I don't know how to finish that phrase.

First steps into the world of thought leadership: What could go wrong?

A. Coatsworth
Paris Hilton

>>get them to hold an awkward object with both hands

... or make them ride an unicycle, for that matter.

Is there a subliminal message here? Both the BOFH and Dabbs talking about job applications...

I was fired for blowing the whistle on cult's status in Google unit, says contractor

A. Coatsworth
Alert

Re: 'Fellowship' not 'Society'

Because you dared to talk positively about a religious group. That is a big no-no on certain self righteous circles of the internet.

Former chip research professor jailed for not disclosing Chinese patents

A. Coatsworth
Mushroom

>>I'd really like to see "the West", including my own government, leading by example, rather than merely blaming and pointing fingers

Yeah, me too, but international relationships are conducted with the same logic as kindergarten fights. It is profoundly disheartening to hear heads of state using equivalents of "who smelt it dealt it" on topics such as war or human rights violations, without the least trace of irony or self conscience.

Heineken says there’s no free beer, warns of phishing scam

A. Coatsworth

It is fun to hate on what's popular. C'mon, jump into the bandwagon!

Having said that, I guess people gets quite annoyed with Heineken's advertising: They show themselves a THE premium beer, when in fact it is a perfectly mediocre affair (see also Stella Artois) and that generates the hate.

Warning: Colleagues are unusually likely to 'break' their monitors soon

A. Coatsworth

Re: So

>> Simple solution: don't connect it to the network.

That is only partially true. I've seen a few 2020 "smart" TVs that take longer to boot than my Celeron PC circa 1999. Simply changing the channel or accessing a menu can take 2 - 5 seconds.

It is absolutely appalling: the smart cr*p makes them infinitely less functional than a 15 years old tv, and that even though they are never connected to any network.

The manufacturers obviously put a lot of bloated software into a hardware that is in no way enough to properly run it, and that affects basically all smart appliances I've seen, so the consumer is impacted no matter what

Conti: Russian-backed rulers of Costa Rican hacktocracy?

A. Coatsworth

Re: Costa Rica army

Is kind of funny and kind of sad hearing the president talk about "war" when we effectively have no defensive capabilities whatsoever in the meatspace[1] and much less in the cyberspace.

The timing of this attack was odd to say the least. It started 2 weeks before the new President took office, right after an extremely nasty electoral campaign.

I wonder if any of the sides involved[2] tried to hire Conti for their own purposes, and the hacker gang simply saw the opportunity to attack the government en-masse after assessing our security measures (or lack thereof). So far they have managed to attack several ministries, public banks, municipalities and tax systems with different levels of impact.

[1] a few years ago there were problems in the border, and the national armory, managed to muster one single heavy machine gun: a M60 that had been abandoned in the country since the Contras civil war in Nicaragua in the early 80s. No one knew whether there was ammunition for it.

[2] there were 25 candidates in the first round, I kid you not. Some of them rather shady.

Logitech Pop: Stylish, portable, but far from the best typing experience

A. Coatsworth
Facepalm

Love the title

>>Logitech Pop: Stylish, portable, but far from the best typing experience

I.e: looks great, is small, doesn't work for it's only intended fscking purpose (but that last one is a minor detail)

Relevant xkcd, as usual: https://xkcd.com/937/

Banks talk big cloud game but few have migrated over 30% of apps

A. Coatsworth
Pint

"Less than half said business leaders in their bank understood 'opportunities of cloud'"

... And less than half these opportunities were thought out less than half as well as they deserved.

China wants its youth to stop giving livestreamers money

A. Coatsworth
Big Brother

Re: Good is good

The scary thing with the CCP is their fondness and efficiency to take everything to 11.

So, the basic idea to limit the power of "influencers" is not bad, but one can only wonder in what creepingly dystopian way it will be enforced.

See the handling of covid lockdowns, to put but one example

Switch off the mic if it makes you feel better – it'll make no difference

A. Coatsworth
Coat

Is that supposed to make us feel better or worse?

You're saying that your devices not only listen to every word you say, but also record every move you make and every step you take?

That really stings... but reporting it to the police won't be of any help.

Apple's grip on iOS browser engines disallowed under latest draft EU rules

A. Coatsworth
Gimp

See icon

EOM.

US Army may be about to 'waste' up to $22b on Microsoft HoloLens

A. Coatsworth
Meh

Re: It's not wasted

Fermenting the fire of rebellion inside Russia against it's own leadership seems to be the only practical way to de-escalate

Yeah... Germany tried that once, even sending an Lenin-sized piece of yeast to speed the fermentation process in Russia.

It did not end well, I see why Germany would be afraid to give it a shot. Russia is simply too much of an unknown for Western Europe to even start trying to predict what could go on if a revolution starts.

The month I worked for DEADHEAD: Yes, that was their job title

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

Re: I have to ask ....

Every year fewer and fewer sites celebrate April's fools, or so it seems.

And those that do, put less and less effort on it[1]. Not sure if the suits are afraid to be sued, or to offend anyone, or just plainly humorless, but the trend is undeniable.

[1]Don't take this as a dis to today's SFTWS?. It was top quality as usual, but it's kind of sad it is the only article in the site on the topic.

Yale finance director stole $40m in computers to resell on the sly

A. Coatsworth
Facepalm

Priorities

>>Petrone also failed to pay taxes on the stolen tablets

Uncle Sam: I don't know what shady sh*t are you on, BUT I WANT MY CUT

How experimental was Microsoft's 'experimental banner' in File Explorer?

A. Coatsworth
Mushroom

The adventures of Rogue Engineer

Lowly coder by day... Chaos thrill seeker by night. Rogue Engineer the biggest software companies and unleashes his mad code to the unsuspecting masses.

From slurping WIFI data via Google cars to slipping ads in Microsoft's workhorse OS. In any tech company, he is everyone and he is no one!

Where will he strike next? Find it next week!

Same Rogue-time, same Rogue-channel

Ireland: Meta fined $18.6m for breaking EU's GDPR

A. Coatsworth
Pirate

Re: "Meta has received an $18.6m (€17m) fine"

In that regard, Russia had the right idea last year although perhaps not for the right reasons: unless the bigwigs - or in cases like this, at least the country PHBs - are made criminally accountable for these situations, nothing will ever change.

Microsoft slides ads into Windows Insiders' File Explorer

A. Coatsworth

>>Thank you for your purchase

And that is the problem. They took to heart the legalese about "licenses" and now our PCs are not really ours.

Sometimes I wonder if the "Great Reset" tinfoil-hatters are onto something

Pioneer 10 turns 50: Remembering humankind's first jaunt to Jupiter

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

Re: That other part

There was a Kickstarter in 2017 that offered replicas of the plaque, engraved by hand by the artist tat created the originals... and I am only finding this now?

Goddammit!

Proprietary neural tech you had surgically implanted? Parts shortage

A. Coatsworth
Happy

Re: The joys of modifying windows sounds...

Ah, the memories!

Once upon a time on Win 98... StarCraft: Broodwar soundbites: Corsair's "It is a good day to die!" for startup. Marine's death cry for critical error. Infested Kerrigan's "Now WHAT?!" for messages... although for the life of me, I can't remember what was the shut down sound...

A. Coatsworth
Megaphone

I'm just old enough to remember when a long, agonizing beeeeeeeeep or a series of short, tortured beep-beep-beeps on startup, meant that something had Gone Terribly Wrong with the PC you had gutted in your desk.

These unexpected "I'm dead" sounds caused a deep phobia of any noise coming from a computer, and not only to me, judging by the comments!

Alarm raised after Microsoft wins data-encoding patent

A. Coatsworth
Trollface

Re: A contradiction in terms

Should change their name to People's Democratic Republic of Invention

Makes as much sense

NASA's InSight probe emerges from Mars dust storm

A. Coatsworth
Holmes

It took ages for me to get Cats on Mars out of my head, and now it is on again... thanks!

Icon: closest thing to a Cowboy hat

Have you tried restarting? Reinstalling? Upgrading? Moving house and changing your identity?

A. Coatsworth
Alert

Re: Grumpy Ol' Dude

"Now"? what do you mean "Now"? He has been doing it (teehee!) for nigh a decade.

The grumpier, the better!

[EDIT]: According to the site's search, the first SOMETHING FOR THE WEEKEND, SIR? was published on April 6, 2012, so we are about to celebrate 10 years of Grumpy McDoubleEntendre here!

Second Trojan asteroid confirmed to be leading our planet around the Sun

A. Coatsworth
Black Helicopters

So, if there are trojan asteroids on Earth's path, it means Earth has not cleared its orbit from other debris, which in turns means that Earth is not actually a planet!

FLAT EARTH CONFIRMED!

Tonga takes to radio, satellite, motorboat comms to restore communications after massive volcano blast and tsunami

A. Coatsworth
Mushroom

Musk would probably rather acusse of paedophilia the people who are actually trying to help, instead of doing something himself

No more DRM-free downloads as Amazon's ComiXology app set to disappear inside Kindle

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

Re: DRM

What are these "customers" you talk about?

In the brave new world of digital goods, there are only thieves, and thieves coaxed into paying. And thieves are not entitled to "rights", do they?

(wish I could use the Joke icon)

To err is human. To really screw things up requires a wayward screwdriver

A. Coatsworth

Re: Reminds me of the in-law's central heating...

>>. I should have left it there - but the engineer in me had to ask

Ah, the ancient cult of Ikabai-Sital. More dangerous than Sciencilogy!

Fugitive mafioso evaded cops for two decades until he was spotted on Google Street View

A. Coatsworth
Holmes

Another option is this story being a load of bull, concocted by the Italian police to throw Mafia off the scent of how are they really finding bad guys' whereabouts.

Much like WWII pilots eating carrots to improve eyesight, and all that stuff.

RAF shoots down 'terrorist drone' over US-owned special ops base in Syria

A. Coatsworth
Mushroom

Brain processes of a commentard

The RAF has scored its first air-to-air "kill" – where an aircraft downs an enemy aircraft – for almost 40 years..

"Forty years? but didn't they, during the Falkland's..."

[Brain booting up...]

[Brain booting up...]

Goddammit! forty years is the Falkland's, not WWII... I need to lie for a while

Midwest tornado destroys Amazon warehouse, killing six after worker 'told not to leave'

A. Coatsworth

Re: Sh*t happens

It's a matter of reasonable doubt: given Amazon's stellar history on employee relations and laboral laws, it is easy to believe they sidestepped / bribed their way out of / plainly ignored their responsibilities as employers in this case.

Obviously nothing can be said for certain before the investigation ends, but I for one wouldn't bet my life on Amazon's adherence to regulations

Meg Whitman – former HP and eBay CEO – nominated as US ambassador to Kenya

A. Coatsworth
Paris Hilton

How much?

Are US political parties so bankrupt [1] that $110k is a donation worthy of a 4-year overseas vacation?

I mean, that's what my house costs, in a suburb, in a third world country! It sounds extremely cheap for the levels of power we are talking about. What would one get if donates 1 meeellion?

[1] Financially speaking. Morally, we know they are, left, right and center.

Leaked footage shows British F-35B falling off HMS Queen Elizabeth and pilot's death-defying ejection

A. Coatsworth
Trollface

recover the crashed jet before [...]Russia could fish it out

>>Comrade, take look at we fished!

>>Да! Is that old Yak141 from 1990г?

>>Нет. It is super secret new Yankee figther.

*Russian Intel agents die of laughter*

Apple, Amazon fined to the tune of €200m for colluding over Beats headphones sales

A. Coatsworth
Mushroom

Re: "an Apple spokesperson told The Register"

Did I really read that in the note?

Well, it's official now: world is coming to an end. Not sure if should feel scared or relieved

Google's Pixel 6 fingerprint reader is rubbish because of 'enhanced security algorithms'

A. Coatsworth
Big Brother

Re: Eh?

"Freely" in this particular case means "paying $600 for the privilege"

but yes, same head-scratching situation

Super-rare wooden Apple 1 hand built by Jobs and Wozniak goes to auction

A. Coatsworth

I'm quite sure Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse is right and here is why:

A job application by Steve Jobs, pbuh, has been sold 4 times since 2017, with each auction multiplying the sale value several times.

One could argue that a paper application has even less intrinsic value than a working computer.

But re-selling this highly collectible item almost on a yearly basis? That's nothing but speculation.

Edit: Source https://www.theregister.com/2021/07/29/steve_jobs_nft_auction_race/

Hibernating instrument on Hubble roused as engineers ponder message problem

A. Coatsworth

Re: Perspective

But in all fairness, Hubble probably said something along the lines of "Error: ADBEAx000"

Which is thousands of times more helpful than $RELATIVE:

There's an error in my pc

What error?

An error. I don't know

An error where?

In internet

What does the error say?

I closed it

Samsung releases pair of jeans that can't do anything except cover your legs and hold a Galaxy Z Flip 3

A. Coatsworth
Thumb Down

Narcissism has nothing to do with it. As someone already mentioned, we are talking about the bloody thing, and by transitivity acknowledging that the the stupid folding phones exist.

Mission accomplished for Marketing[1] Martinis all around!

[1]Yes, I know that this comment is part of the problem, so I avoid writing the brand and model.

Behold, Eclipse's open-source software defined vehicle project

A. Coatsworth
Unhappy

Re: Software Defined Vehicles

Testing, testing... testing?

Nope, that word doesn't ring a bell. Whatever it is, it 's probably not important. We sell cars here, you see? Never heard of this "testing" malarkey, so it probably won't be producing any profit.

50 years have gone by since the UK's one – and only – homegrown foray into orbit

A. Coatsworth
Black Helicopters

Re: Black Arrows forth dimension

Given that the TSR2 was swiftly cancelled, while the F35 is still being touted as the Second Coming of Sliced Bread, I'd say they are not similar to the eyes of the involved politicians.

... of course, if you get pork in your eye, it is hard to see anything.

Facebook's greatest misses: The five nastiest bits from recent leaks

A. Coatsworth

Re: Customers?

How did such a perverted platform get so perverted?

If you remember the original purpose of "The Face Book" as Zuck created it, you'll realize that the platform was perverted from its inception. It quite literally was born with the original sin.

Antitrust battle latest: Google, Facebook 'colluded' to smash Apple's privacy protections

A. Coatsworth
Mushroom

Re: Imagine if Microsoft owned Android?

You seem to be working on Jacob's Sodom and Gomorrah logic: "if I find 3 just channels, won't you spare the platform?"

Which I don't think applies in this case: the fact that some channels are respectable and useful don't hide the fact that most content, and in particular the most promoted content is a utter cesspool.

Nukes, orbit, etc.

Danish artist pockets museum's cash and calls it art... and other stories

A. Coatsworth

Conceptual artist noun

1. W*nker who thinks he/she can get away with any sort of braindead publicity stunt they can think of. They are usually correct.

YouTube expands vaccine misinfo crackdown, nukes anti-vax channels for good

A. Coatsworth
Happy

Re: Thanks to the Vaxxed

Just national treasure?

I'd propose to include him in the UNESCO World Heritage list!

Don't touch that dial – the new guy just closed the application that no one is meant to close

A. Coatsworth
Flame

Re: Timely tale in the UK

>> "sonic wave" caused by the fire suppression system removing oxygen from the room that caused servers to shut down

Amazed to learn that is a real thing, and not something concocted by the BOFH's bullsh*t generator!

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