* Posts by Dennis

106 publicly visible posts • joined 22 May 2008


Millions opted into UK mobile phone directory

Paris Hilton

Here's a clue....................

If you don't have my mobile telephone I don't want you to have it.

And I don't care which obscure tick box I missed I do not want you to sell it.

Isn't there supposed to be laws preventing this sort of thing.

Oh yes that right the Information Commissioners Office. Nuff said

Paris because she wouldn't let her personal details be sold in this way

Judge backs Halifax in Chip and PIN clone case

Black Helicopters

Recently had my card cloned - But by who?????

Recently had a withdrawal made on my card from LJUBLJANA.

When I contacted the Bank they told me my card must have been cloned when I last used it. When I told them I had never used the card and I could prove this because my statements show there had never been a withdrawal/swipes on this card, they said well you obviously disposed of the card in a unsecure manner or shared the details with somebody else. No I haven't and I can prove that, can you prove your systems are that secure.

I got an immediate refund, but I guess I was lucky that I had never used my card. If I had of used the card I'm sure they would have made it a lot more difficult.

So you see systems are only as secure as the bank are prepared to pay to make them.

Anon obviously, because Big Brother is watching us not the crooks

Airport ID cards only for the newbies

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I have a picture of a ship

sailing round and round in circles, not knowing where to go of what to do.

I guess with no Jack booted Jacqui at the helm and no Prime Minister worth speaking off then everything is going to go the same way. ........dissolve into oblivion.

I sure the Tories aren't bothered either as they said they would cancel it so better just to let it flap about until somebody works up the courage to put it out of its misery.

More IT Millions wasted.

Can I have a icon for stop sitting here reading comments and nodding your head. Get off you arse and vote!

Phorm woos browsers with personalised web

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ohhh cool .................

Nah still shite

Gordon 'to sacky' Wacky Jacqui

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Ding Dong

Ding Dong - The Witch is dead.

Well seriously injured until the next election when we can truly stick the boot in.

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Russian blows off ex-boyf's todger with firecrackers

IT Angle


And the moral of the story. Stay with your wife and kid.

Irish politico in Facebook jub-rub outrage


She's got my vote!

I would even turn a blind eye to her having these nights out on expenses

eBay not obliged to protect trade marks, says High Court


Can anyone else see similarities between this case

and a recent high profile case in Sweden to do with a Pirate Ship.

I guess eBay had more money to fight the case. I would like to believe it came down to pure LAW, but I doubt it.

I do love the ad's on eBay now. How much would you pay for this teddy bear? If you buy it too cheaply you are funding terrorists and risk endangering your children. I wasn't aware that if you buy stuff full price the manufacturer is offering you insurance that you kid won't kill themselves with their teddy.

Nice to know they caare about the children and not just profits

BNP pleads for cash after reported DDoS assault


Do you get the feeling that nobody likes you

Not surprised because nobody does. Its the one thing this country is united about.

Although I do think you should be free to spout whatever hateful diatribe you wish.

And (although I wouldn't want you at my party) you should be allowed to go to the Queens party but just sit there eat you cake and keep your mouth shut!

CSC freezes UK pay


@Frank Bough and Computer Sciences Corporation

CSC is: Computer Sciences Corporation provides consulting, systems integration and design, IT and business process outsourcing, applications software, and Web and blah blah blah

Or to put it another way they contact IT Technical staff to various big companies around the world

When everybody else in JaguarLandrover IT were obliged to work 40hrs aweek for no extra pay (or find another job) CSC refused because it would have been too complicated to rewrite all their contracts.

Good team effort.


Christmas bonus


CSC did provide a load of very nice mince pies at Christmas.

'Tesco's Best'

I took a box home and I don't work for CSC. I just have to employ them.

Can I have an icon for CSC get paid more than I do, so *uck em.

Toddler snaps up mechanical digger online

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hmmmm I'm a little sceptical

I would love to buy a big digger for doing the gardening.

Maybe Dad bought it, panicked and blamed the kid!

A 3 year old that can spell 'digger' and type in the winning amount and submit that bid. Nah don't think so.....

Maybe if Mum had of been looking at a huge tool and left the page open with the cursor in the bid box and the kid fumbled in some numbers, that might work.

Hmmm icon for a huge tool.......

Ah thumbs up the only tool that should be used on a computer after everybody has gone to bed

Billy Bragg: Three-strikes lobbying is 'shameful'

Paris Hilton

@ I love the way people value music

'Imagine what it woudl be like without record companies promoting artists. How would you get heard above the myspace noise.'

Record companies do not promote music, they market an image which in turn they use to sell over priced and over rated music. And not a very healthy image at that.

I haven't heard Lady GaGa's music but I am well aware that she is a fit bird that likes to get her tits out for the lads.

That is the sort of promotion I would like to avoid my family being exposed to

Paris as I can't think of a better example of image over content

Downing Street on Phorm: 'Meh'

IT Angle

BNP - UKIP and those meddling EU Commissioners

For all those that are planning a protest vote in the upcoming elections beware of who you vote for.

BNP and UKIP want to cut all ties with Europe/EEC/Those meddling EU Commissioners. So that would effectively leave us without any protection from Big Brother at all.

So apart from all the other reasons not to vote the aforementioned parties.. this is another one.

Do I smell an IT angle and politics in the same comment.

Danger Mouse seems to want fans to pirate his blocked release

Paris Hilton

id anyone else read this thinking

It was about a certain mouse superhero.

So EMI are killing music and innovation.

Well who would have thought it?

I would love a danger mouse Icon but I guess it could be misinterpreted as some musician that I have never heard of.

So make do with a Paris although I hate to scrap the bottom of the barrel

Pirate-pursuing lawyers get DDo$ money transfer slap

Black Helicopters

I would imagine

by sending them money you are providing them with your name/address/IP/DNA and anything else worth having.

I for one wouldn't want to be popping up their radar any time soon.

It all seems a little childish as well as dangerous. Why not just get an ID card and put you occupation as Freetard/Pirate

Can I have an icon for 'I didn't get where I am today by sending my enemies money to try and piss them off.

eBay fees rejig will still hit casual auctioneers


Has anyone else noticed that eBay

Is one of the most expensive ways of buying crapola.

Amazon is much cheaper now for tat.

Just a observation

France says 'Oui!' to three strikes for music pirates

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I for one

Would rather get a letter warning you that my free movie connection has been discovered and its time to give it up (or tighten your security) rather than receiving a large fine (court summons) from RIAA (or whatever your local equivalent is) as your first warning.

If you are innocent then you can challenge the judgement. In much the same way that people are starting to challenge the letters from Davenport Lyons.

You get caught once: Tighten your security: Caught twice switch your internet connection to somebody new. When your provider asks you why you are switching tell them. This is hitting them in the pocket. Not me as I will keep switching. Would this reset you strikes to one?

Its a bit like speeding. Four strikes and we take your license.

And anyway it has gotten too easy. I would rather it was a nice little niche instead of everyone in the street doing it killing my connection.

Of course people are going to start flaming me for buckling under the preassure of the RIAA but as I say I would rather a tap on the shoulder and word to the wise rather than a court summons.

Film industry turns up P2P heat on Carter

Paris Hilton

I recently purchased a real DVD

It had in a little leaflet saying thank you for purchasing a genuine DVD.

It gave me a nice warm feeling inside. Much nicer than being called a drug dealing terrorist who rapes babies.

My argument is always the same: Make something good enough and I will exchange cold hard cash for the privilege.

For example: Me and the wife are dying to watch Star Trek on the big screen. I wonder would anybody at the RIAA come round and babysit so I don't have to pirate it???

Can I have a babysitter required icon please.

DOH I know Paris. Because I wish she was my babysitter

Major law firm drops filesharing threats

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Website knocked up in Joomla

Just though I would have a browse through their website and low and behold its a Joomla, using the standard Template.

I sure some really clever person out their could find a clause in Joomla's T&C's saying that it isn't allowed to be used by tossers extorting money from feckless P2P sharers.

Wouldn't that be ironic if they wrote to somebody saying you stole stuff and we are going to sue you and all your family only to be hit with a counter claim for stealing or mis using Joomla

Can I have an icon for keeping my fingers crossed X

Please Please Please let the clause be there.....................

Fetish club forces ID scanner climbdown


I guess it will be safe for all the Politicians to attend now

And I'll bet it will all go on expenses.

Can I have an icon for attending a fetish club without giving my real name.

I'll just get my dirty mac instead

Gordon Ramsay breaches f**king broadcasting code

Paris Hilton

Gordon - *ucking Ramsey

I would love to cut his hands off and slap him around the face with them.

If only to stop him smacking his hands together.

He really annoys me but the wife like him. Funny though if I swear i get told off. If he does it, its because 'he is full of passion'

Full of *hit if you ask me.

Can I have a icon for 'He really annoys me but the wife like him'

In the interim I will have a Paris because I like her but the wife doesn't!

Judges rap police over raid on paedo expert


I'm sure all this could have been avoided...

If only he had submitted his DNA to Wacky Jacqui's database.

Then it would just be a matter of... oh, err, maybe it wouldn't have helped in this case, because we where the ones in the wrong.

Ah yes. If he had submitted his DNA we could have studied his criminal profile to see was he guilty without having to arrest anybody. Avoided all this unpleasentness.

Could I have an icon for the 'Police! A Law onto themselves'

ID scheme will cost £400m annually

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I would get an ID card if.......

It allowed me to do something I am not currently allowed to do.

For example

I could use my new ID card to buy Cannabis from a chemist.

Something I am not currently allowed to do.

I could use my new ID to use a home office approved Prostitute.

Something which I currently not allowed to do. I could also check the my lady friends card to ensure she hasn't been trafficked and is paying her Tax.

Just think of the amount of Tax such a scheme could generate, and it would have the added benefit of reducing illegal drug use and illegal prostitution. Both scheme's could be backed up with regular visits to the doctor, so Tax benefits and health benefits.

There you go Jacqui. Vote winning idea there. As it stands I have no incentive to enter your dark kingdom.

Anybody else got any idea's as to what would encourage you to get an ID Card. Our FINE HONOURABLE FRIENDS need your help.

Darth Vader tops movie misquote poll

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It was all within the rules.

This has to be the new quote on the block.

I did nothing wrong.... it was all within the rules.

I sure this one will be quoted in the law courts up and down the land.

Im sure it will be misquoted to be 'I did nothing wrong as predefinded by the honourable lawmakers of this country'

Asda clamps down on killer teaspoons


I think everybody that shops in Tesco should be ID'ed

That way we could monitor the proletariat in simple non pervasive way.

This could be a idea for Wacky Jacqui and her mad cap scheme for ID cards. I'm sure there is more terrorists use Tesco's than any of the other more refined supermarkets.

Can we have a icon for monitoring anybody* that is not a politician with a huge expense account.

(* i.e. proletariat scum)

Vatican damns Angels and Demons as 'quite harmless'

IT Angle

The wife told me not to read The Di Vinci Code.....

This is the only time I wish I had of taken her advice.

I like Straw Bear E's

Can i have an icon for I like Straw Bear E's?

Is the IT Angle the Dan Brown wrote the books using an abacus. One of these, then one of these and finally one of these.

Taa Daa book

Ireland bucks trend with anti-blasphemy law

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That's what I like to see

Ireland bang upto date.

The economy is falling apart and people are losing their jobs left and centre, but never fear there will be no taking our Lords name in vain as we drown in America's debt.

Nice show.

Abair ach beagan agus abair gu math e

Can I have a icon which says that I'm from Ireland and I still don't know what they are going on about.

DVLA issues double tax discs


@ AC 9.06

'Why not 5 yearly, or 10 yearly with discounts for prepaying? Why not sell a 'lifetime' road tax for a car, pay once it is covered for it's estimated lifespan.'

DOH! If they did that how would they be able to increase the price of Car Tax year in year out.

Duke Nukem Forever developer defunct, says staffer


Looking for a job

Look out for the CV's saying worked on Duke Nukem for 12 years.

'What did you do during that 12 years'

Could you show us some samples of your work?

ehhh No. I didn't do any work we used to play Quake and Unreal Tournament all day.

Ok Thanks for coming in... A little peice of advice.......in the real world you are expected to produce something when you get paid. Try working for a Government, they don't expect any results either.

Home Office to keep innocent DNA samples

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Making life easier for the Police

My understanding of the Police was they are supposed to prevent crime. Now if they rely on DNA to catch crim's where is the prevention.

So if you don't have my DNA you have no chance of catching me so I can offend with impunity.

In 10 years time immigrants will sneak to this country swipe all round them and sneak away again. And where will the police be. Checking their DNA Database looking for a probable match or counting the proceeds of their Speed Camera collections.

I want a policeman walking along my street. I want to know his name and I want him to know mine. I want him to come and see me when my car gets broken into. Its not too much to ask is it.

US P2P bill aims shackles at browsers, IM

Paris Hilton

Warning: May contain nuts

found on bag of peanuts.

Enough said.

Paris because she likes nuts

Victoria Principal 'pulled pistol' on maid


@ Sarah Bee

The television mini series of IT was rubbish. I have just finished the book and then bought the mini series off Ebay and it was rubbish.

Icon: Scientist as IT is really long (1000pages), has some big words and no computers at all


Wish I could do this

There is one idiot at work I would especially like to pull a gun on.

Next time he sneezes all over me and goes. 'Oh Dear Swine Flu'

Pilots plot air raid on Jacqui over ID cards


Pilots refuse to carry ID Cards

I bet they won't get as much shit from Immigration Police at the airport that normal Joe Public will. Bunched of fucked up little Hitler's. If I have to listen to another one of those little fuckers going on about 'doing their job'

We're highly trained at spotting Terrorists

Yeah when was the last time you caught any terrorists. You can't even tell who has just flow in from Cancun last week.

Could you tell us the purpose of your visit to your mother?

To stock up on clean socks what do you think you little prick.

Is that a Baby's milk there? Open it and taste it.

Why? Because I said so and I'm the little prick in charge.

opps sorry I've digressed abit.

Yeah those ID Cards. Booo, Hisss

Can I have an Icon for a irrelevant rant!

Videogame history project successfully emulates CRT on LCD

Paris Hilton

graphics improvements

Isn't it slightly ironic that with all us gamers getting bigger and fatter (faster?) graphics cards that their are others trying to recreate the graphics of yester year.

Everybody remembers old games with a fondness but bringing the old crappy graphics back won't help you recapture that magic. They were of their time we are different animals from what we where then.

I loved Kalecovision and spend hours playing it when I should have been doing my homework but having 1/4 inch pixels thrown onto the television wasn't what excited me. It was the fact that they were new and exciting worlds and something which I have never even imagined before outside of a book..

Playing it now just pisses me off because it spoils the fond memories I had. In my minds eye its all 3d graphics with smooth rendering and I don't want to think to them any other way.

Or maybe I have missed the point which was to see if you can get a modern graphics card to run like a bag of spanners. In that case I could have saved you some time and recommended a few ATI cards which would easily meet your expectations.

Paris because she is too young to remember Atari and Kalecovision and as so is too young for me! BooHoo

Meet Phorm's PR genius



I can stop worrying about PHORM then

Carry on

ICO acts on student privacy breach


never mind if you lose your job....

You can go and work on some of their IT projects.

interviewer: Have you any previous experience of working with Personal Data.


interviewer: Have you ever lost any data/misled data.


interviewer: Excellent you can have the job.

I did email Personal Data to a load of people, Does that count?

interviewer: No we all make silly mistakes like that here.

Star Trek halted by pig plague


I am Legend.

They will all just have to wait until Will Smith comes up with a vacine or............

oh yes thats right it was just the crapola Hollywood remake where he discovers the vacine, in the original book everybody dies and a new world order is established. Strange there was nothing in the film about a credit crunch. I blame Emma Thompson. She should be rounded up a shipped to mexico to see the suffering her cure for cancer has caused..........

Can we have a Will Smith Icon?

Police want new remote hard drive search powers

Paris Hilton

I think I can see what is happening here

due to the backlog we have decided to employ outside contractors from (for example India or Ireland) to do the donkey work for us. So we plug the hard drive into the internet, said operator from Bangalore/Belfast will remotely access the drive and search using a bunch of pre-defined terms suggested by us.

The evidence (drive) would never leave our presence. So what could go wrong? Discuss.

Suggested search terms: Liberty, freedom, Jacqui, London Landmarks, Paris

Web 0.2 archivists save Geocities from deletion

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In years to come

Will we see Geocities pages on the Antique's Road Show.

Young kid walks in with CD-ROM and an Win 95 Machine to view it.

Presenter: Ahh.... Win95 I remember this. Why don't I go and have a cup of tea while it starts up.

...2 hrs later its running.

Presenter: Show me what you have then.

Kid: My Daddy done a back up of Geocities before Yahoo killed it.

Presenter: What all of it?

Kid: Well as much s he could

Presenter: This has got to be on of the most complete archives of socail history I have ever seen. This is fantastic. Do you have any favorites?

Kid: I espically like the websites about a game called Tombraider.

Ahh Lara Croft. Yes I remember Tombraider.

Presenter: Any other favorites.

Kid: I like this one which is about a ladies cat that died.

Presenter: Yes there was lots of sites just like that one. ..........continues in this vein.

We may think its all crap now but in years to come. Goldmine

Phorm boss blogs from a dark, dark place


@ By MinionZero

The next step is leaving laws wide open to allow for ever more feature creeps, so ever more people can dream up reasons to monitor everything people do and say online. Then they can slowly over time start to add more hidden punishments like restricting government jobs and government contract jobs to only the politically loyal people. Hold back opponents. I'm sorry your company cannot have this government contract as you employ 3 people who have openly protested online against the current government. This shows your company and employees are not behind the current government and so your company will not get this contract or grant. This will force any company wishing to win government contracts, to weed out anyone politically motivated. That will also help them rid themselves of anyone potentially willing to back the formation of unions to force more fairness out of employers. We have seen that so many times throughout history. Now the police state will be able to gain this kind of information like never before. No one will be able to stand up and speak out against government or job conditions in the future, without risking loosing their jobs or getting punished and held back in other quite ways. How long before we have profile lists sold to companies containing lists of names of people who complain about job conditions online. That would be useful when interviewing people. That would really help avoid empolying anyone who many speak out and stand up to the boss about treating employees with some fairness. Thats just one example of so many ways to manipulate people into silent acquiescence.

You may not have noticed these news events recently:

Unions and politicians threaten action over employee blacklist

The glittering list of contractors accused of using the ‘construction blacklist’ to vet potential employees are bracing themselves for the legal and political fallout.


Call for action over rampant blacklisting of workers

The Government was urged to take immediate action today to outlaw the blacklisting of workers after new evidence that the practice was "rampant".


You talk about what can potentially happen. You're too late

Black Helicopters

Stop Phoul Play

I have visited the website and watched and read some of the articles. It does appear to be a little bit of a rant and he does address the issues head on.

For example: Courts make the Laws not the Home Office. Ahem

The Home Office advises which Laws should and shouldn't be written and enforced at the behest of the Government or in this case PHORM.. But I guess this service is free to anyone who has enough money to buy off a Lord or Politician or 2. And if this isn't true, why ask them for advice in the first place?

No Personal Information is kept. Even for a second: How would they possibly sell their system to advertisers if they can't prove click through.

Some questions I didn't get answered is:

How do I stop NTL/Virgin from adopting this technology.

I don't need anymore advertisements of the websites I visit. 'El Reg take note' Nobody minds the odd advert but a tailored ad' on every page. No thank you. Ad's are usually tailored to look OK on a page. How do you propose to slip you ad in un-noticed. And if click-thought isn't sufficient will they start flashing and distracting me from the page/picture I want.

How will I prevent my young daughters from seeing ad's which are based on my surfing habits. Not suitable for person under age of 16.

Will this slow down my Broadband? I would imagine so.

What is in this for me. You will get paid for your ad's Will my broadband get cheaper because I view your targeted ad's.

Will you ad's stifle competition on the internet. Will Amazon suddenly appear as a Page 404.

And finally what have they been speaking to Jacqui Smith about? Where do PHORM sit with the new data retention laws?

Seems to me you are in a position to take full advantage of the Governments request.

And finally. Is there a smear campaign. Yes because nobody asked before this was tested and we worry that it will happen again.

Can we have a wicked PHORM Icon - RED Eye - Watching Icon please

Mexico? US? Just don't go there, warns EU health chief

Dead Vulture

No need to woryy about the credit crunch now

Get out and spend, spend, spend.

By the time the bills come we will all be dead with our only legacy an entry on the Jacqui Database saying.

'spent a loads of money before dying'

Helped the economy.

Used to write on anti Government Websites - Terrorist!

Desperately trying to find an IT Angle.

UK.gov to spend £2bn on ISP tracking


I for one think Jaquai is lovely and very stable

'Under the proposals, mobile and fixed line operators will be required to process and link the data together to build complete profiles of every UK internet user's online activity.'

So when all this takes off what do you think it will mean......

User ID 164328623414709.

Regularly publishes to a website critical of Government Policy. (El Reg)

Regularly reads information critical to current UK Government Policy/Law Making. (Out-law.com)

Regularly purchases items from outside UK/Europe (eBay)

Likes to visit adult content sites hosted in Non EEC Countries (www.BBWrUS.us)

Spoke to unidentified associate on Mobile Telephone number 0123145-012365651 Location London

Went out in car - Withdrew £30 cash from HSBC - Spent 3 hours in pub, Purchased 1 pint. Spent £10. Conversation held covertly.

Drove home. Vehicle Tracked by Police.

I for one bow down to over Information Overlords. Because if you don't you will be arrested on your way to University, school , work, Gordon Brown will go on the news and tell everyone you are murdering terrorist and as guilty as sin before they deport you for being too clean.

Nobody is that clean Governor we can't hold them long enough to find the dirt' Pity we didn't get the 42 Days in.

Next time my young apprentice, they can run but they can never hide.

Can we have a new 'Being Watched Icon?'

Something like the Eye of Sauron in the Lord of the Rings.


the Red Eye, the Evil Eye, the Lidless Eye

US Congress inspects deep packet inspection


I wish everybody would just calm down

This technology is only for use against Terrorists, criminals and other socially undesirables and can only be authorised by a high ranking tea boy at the local council.

We do embark on this type of mass snooping lightly. Its for your own protection. The only reason we sell the information is so the tax payer doesn't have to subsidised the 'War of Terror'

Virgin Media sticks with Phorm


They still won't say.... Dare I hope that I won't have to ditch Virgin

I'm really not looking forward to ditching Virgin Media as I have been reasonably happy with the service I get.

...........but if they introduce profiling in any shape or 'Phorm'

Hi Ho Hi Ho off to find another ISP I go.

Does anyone else think these icons are out of date. Steve Jobs is (nearly) dead and Bill might as well be. I want a snoopers charter icon. A database symbol with a skull & crossbones would do it.

Or a computer with a pair of moving eyes. Or would this spoil your fun after the wife has gone to bed.

Rail union ballots for strike over fingerprints

Paris Hilton

Line up Voter!

In order to protect your freedoms from those that would enslave us we need to track you just to make sure your freedoms aren't being curtained.

Except if you do something that we don't like. Then you become a terriost. So what's it to be..... Voter or Terrorist


Paris because everybody knows where she has been. funar, funar

Harvard Prof.'s hearing against RIAA can't be streamed online


The revolution will not be broadcast......

Unless we as sure we will win!

Pirate Bay loses trial: defendants face prison time, hefty fines

Black Helicopters

Money changes everything

I guess a big bag of cash will always win over ideals and free spirit in the end.

'So long and thanks for all the fish'