* Posts by Matthew Anderson

165 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Apr 2007


John McAfee dead: Antivirus tycoon killed himself in prison after court OK'd extradition, says lawyer

Matthew Anderson

Noooo. Just noooo. Hope he's trekking his way through Europe right now, disguised as a blind armless skateboarder, off to dig up a million bucks or access a stuffed bitcoin wallet. Kudos my man, the stuff of legends.

We'll hack back at Russians, declare UK ministers in cyber-Blitz blitz

Matthew Anderson

All sounds like a load of posturing to me. Why would you publicly announce this if not just part of a PR campaign? When I was younger I had this delusional respect for these people, now they just seem like kids playing at war but in control of our weapons systems and national security. I take it tapping submarine cables and hoovering up all the data doesn't count as hacking then? As if we are completely innocent...

It's 2019 and a WhatsApp call can hack a phone: Zero-day exploit infects mobes with spyware

Matthew Anderson

So NSO are denying all responsibility by claiming they do not use the technology themselves but simply design it and sell it to government agencies, what is done with the software after that is not of their knowledge nor responsibility.

Did several countries not create new malware laws covering just that eventuality, so that software authors could not claim their code was a security utility despite its targeted/intended audience?

The Reg tagline of biting the hand that feeds IT comes to mind there. Surely the NSO are in breach of the updated laws and should be held accountable no?

Leaky child-tracking smartwatch maker hits back at bad PR

Matthew Anderson

Ting is, he's right. Although now the media has a hold of this, technical peados may at this very moment be attempting to hack said watches to follow children, instead of actually just.... following children. Security by obscurity used to be a ting, until we published everydamnting.

Perhaps this is a good ting. Instead of just coming along in your white van and lifting a kid into the back of it as normal, now we should be on the lookout for watch hackers. New set of rules for schools to follow. Ignore white van, but watch out for.... I seen a guy with an IoT bear the other day looking shifty, roll out the stingers and set a curfew.

Thanks to UK peers, coming to a laptop near you in 2019: Age checks for online smut

Matthew Anderson

Making it harder (bwahaha) has some unintended but useful consequences, in that it teaches our children that accessibility is sometimes about finding workarounds. Welcome to the new world of trading ID; VPN, & P2P will gain more popularity over streaming again, as will socks4.

We live in a world of point and click and not enough people are getting under the hood, so let them get under the hood and figure things out...As they will when a teenager is faced with the prospect of the underwear section of the littlwoods catalogue.

I do fondly remember the day I checked my internet history to find my 7 year old had Googled "Britny Spirs bewbs"

Brit bomb hoax teen who fantasised about being a notorious hacker cops 3 years in jail

Matthew Anderson


He may be eligible for early release under home detention curfew (tagged) which will be for 3 months prior to half his term being completed. So 15 months total inside most likely.

Support whizz 'fixes' screeching laptop with a single click... by closing 'malware-y' browser tab

Matthew Anderson

A local farmer a few years ago (still using dial-up) called me to let me know his computer was broken and could I help. We live in a friendly little countryside area and he snowploughs my drive each year so off i popped down to see what was wrong. "Can't connect to the internet, i think the computer is broken"

Well, he had managed to rearrange the icons on the desktop, and all that had happened was the dialup shortcut was now in a different place. I pointed this out to him, and he thought it was an actual "fix" I had done, tried to pay me and I gladly accepted his thanks but not payment...

A few months later, the phone rings, the same farmer... Similar problem...

Modem cable had become unplugged.... Still tried to pay me for plugging it back in.. This time I exchanged a small bale of hay for my chickens :) (Not as in I gave him chickens for hay though)

My hoard of obsolete hardware might be useful… one day

Matthew Anderson

Yes! I brought out a large plastic box of junk hardware just a few days ago, stared at the external floppy drive, considered my options for a few minutes and placed it back in the box for storage.... To be reopened again in a few years time to repeat the same procedure.... I also have a boxed Amstrad 1640 in my garage taking up a considerable amount of room which I cannot persuade myself to get rid of, as well as 6 towers ranging from a 286 up to pentiums and a plethora of laptops in various states of disrepair. Phones and tablets going back at least 10 years also, plus their bloody chargers... Plus various ancient monitors in my attic...

One day I may get angry enough to ditch some of it. :)

Amazon, eBay and pals agree to Europe's other GDPR: Generally Dangerous Products Removed from websites

Matthew Anderson

Then you go have lots of back garden funz, preferably with tinted goggles and the ability to run backwards at great speed

Android users are massive wan … er … smut consumers

Matthew Anderson

Not entirely sure the boss would agree with you that the link is safe for work at all, the content may be but will still have a hard time explaining the PORNHUB part.... Also the various references and links to such things as.. America Runs on Anal.

"Ahh but you see, it may be a porn website, ahem, yes I have heard of pornhub, have you? Buuuut this is a totally legit article they did on porn stats.. Yes, was reading up on porn stats at work...Nope, was not perusing porn during work time at all, did you not know that porn sites are also useful and informative journalistic websites and that porn stats can actually help me have a more productive work day?"

Nope.. Scrub internet history of that one please.

Google's so smart it's discovered SHARKS HAVE TEETH

Matthew Anderson

Kevlar, or something similar to Kevlar? There seems to be varying reports.


"The fibre optic lines under the Pacific are being wrapped in a super-hard material similar to Kevlar, which is used to make bullet-proof vests and military armour."

Vladimir Putin says internet is a 'CIA project'

Matthew Anderson

To be fair, he has a point.

Reports: New Xbox could DOOM second-hand games market

Matthew Anderson

I'm happy enough with this, so long as MS are happy to replace for the cost of a disk and a small admin fee the replacement of easily broken disks which I am currently not allowed to download to disk as replacement, And a new Xbox when THEIR equipment fails,

All is fair in love and, err, Xbox.,

British LulzSec hackers hear jail doors slam shut for years

Matthew Anderson

Re: Unbelievable

Almost - They will be in open prison as soon as they are categorised as Cat D which can take anything up to 2 months, sooner if it is very high profile or if the prison needs additional space. The guy with 32 months to serve will be out after 11.5 months and for the 24 month sentence he will be out in 7.5 months.

In the meantime they are in a Cat B prison on 23 hour lockdown unless they take on a job which can take several weeks to get. In a cell with a random crim 23 hours a day, farting, shitting and watching jeremy kyle. Not much fun.

Matthew Anderson

Re: "jailed for terms ranging from 24 to 32 months"

It is not about being posh or rich enough, I cannot remember now exactly how it works but every prisoner serving under a certain length of time is eligible to apply for tag and in England has their sentences halved. So for an 18 month sentence you would service 4.5 months inside. Assuming you have been of good behavior of course. However over a certain length of time you do not just serve quarter, 18 months is the maximum you can receive and only serve quarter, the eligibility for tag with a sentence any higher than 18 months and less than 5 years increases. I think 4.5 month is the maximum one is allowed to be out on tag for.

LivingSocial admits major hacking attack on customer database

Matthew Anderson

Re: They bought a lot of smaller companies

We are talking a few gig of data, depending on connection speeds the spike in bandwidth could be over fairly quickly.

Rotund Mega baron Dotcom offers bounty for breaking his crypto

Matthew Anderson

Mega-Search.me surely :-) There, fixed that for yah.

Alien space rocks EXPLODE in fireball over Japan

Matthew Anderson

Re: Impressive

Same - I seen once in the north of Scotland some 2 decades ago and my mother and I jumped out of our skins.

India's tough hacker crackdown: IT security leaflets with every device

Matthew Anderson

OK well in the days of the "paperless office" etc. Why do they not simply give people a LINK to the page containing the brochure. Hmmm an exploit on that link page could provide a lot of Indian victims ;-)

His Holiness Benedict XVI to tweet to his Catholic flock

Matthew Anderson

Religion in 140 chars or less

Sounds sublime. Can we rewrite the bible in txt speak too?

John McAfee remains on the run, but outside Belize

Matthew Anderson

As much as it makes a good story

No one actually believes in any of the shit he says I hope. This is the delusions of a mad man. He is clearly away with the friggen fairies, onboard the Mars rover and navigating through planets faster than any decent handful of magic mushrooms could get one within 30 minutes of ingestion. Speaking of mushrooms, he is obviously living on top of one with white spots and a red cap. That would be the mushroom I'm talking aboots, not the crazy guy, who probably will disguise himself as a mushroom to evade capture at the same time as providing several mushroom passports to throw the man in charge off his mushroom cap. Nutter.

Curiosity finds organics on Mars, but possibly not of Mars

Matthew Anderson

So they have found something of interest which may or not be of interest which may or not be from Mars and may or may not be organic compounds but which is most certainly not groundbreaking, awe inspiring, eye opening, mouth wateringly good. Well woohoo! Still, we got a robot on Mars and that's the main thing.

Prisoner found with phone + charger in anal cavity

Matthew Anderson

Re: Call Prices

@Not only are phone calls to the outside insanely expensive, they are collect only unless someone loves you enough to buy a prepaid card

Not true, you are given a passcode when you first enter prison(UK) and can place money on that each week from your spends. Past experience recently on this!

As for the bum smuggling, it is rife in open prison where you can have home leave/outside work etc so a higher proportion of inmates coming in and out.

Japanese firm offers 4-tonne GIANT MECHs for just $1.3m

Matthew Anderson

Is it tax exempt?

Mystery Chrome 0-day exploit to be unveiled in India on Saturday

Matthew Anderson

Heard it all before, and now we will get the run down on some half assed exploit that requires more than your average exploit to be vuln to the masses. I can hear all the sighs of relief now after said conference is done.

UK prosecutors, cops ponder new probe into NASA hacker McKinnon

Matthew Anderson

I served 4.5 months of an 18 month sentence with the other 4.5 months on tag and the other 9 months out on licence. This was for computer "hacking" crimes. I also had money laundering and conspiracy tagged to my offences so in reality mine was a more severe case that Garys.

Had he been tried in the UK 10 years ago and his sentence was was comparable to mine then I think 12 months would have been fair with a good Judge. Out on tag 4 months before the end of his sentence (end of half) and the lad would have out on tag after serving 2 months inside. Instead he has been subjected to 10 years of torment. If his mental state was fragile before I imagine it it a hell of a lot worse now due to this insane arrangement with have with the USA.

Time to leave the lad alone.

On a different matter - as far as I am aware all the computers Gary was in had been "pwned" a dozen times over. They were already wide open and accessible to every newbie port scanner on the planet. Not exactly crime of the century here and certainly not sophisticated in any way.

Perth porkfest crowned ULTIMATE BACON SARNIE

Matthew Anderson

Re: Ugh

That will be because it is streaky bacon and that lovely crispy looking fat on it has been cooked to puuuurfection and adds a little thing called FLAVOUR. As bacon cooking goes, that first image is a stunning example :-)

Microsoft's Bing bods exploit fanbois' Apple maps misery

Matthew Anderson

MS did not need to do more to cover it than post a sarky blog on an obscure webpage because you posted an article about said obscure and sarky blog post praising Bing Maps which is whizzing its way around the globe via feeds and your own website, re-published by a gazillion aggregation sites and covered and recovered by every tech site known to man woman and beast over the coming weeks.


Crooks can milk '$100k a day' from 1-million-zombie ZeroAccess army

Matthew Anderson

Re: how are they making money?

That is for them to know, and you to find out. ;-)

Google beefs up security portfolio with VirusTotal buy

Matthew Anderson

It is not virus protection, this is a service that will scan suspicious files which you have uploaded to them. You download msoffice.exe, upload it to VirusTotal and it will scan it on a multitude of AV applications and they let you know if any of them found it suspicious, at the same time as forwarding any suspicious files to AV companies for them to analyse and create sigs from. (hence why virus writes do not upload their malware to such places for testing purposes)

Matthew Anderson

I always preferred Jotti which if I remember correctly (and could well be wrong) was around earlier than VirusTotal. Both are excellent services but I do find it odd that Google would make this purchase as they could set up the same service pretty quickly themselves with their resources and hoards of coders. Any light on the why they would purchase such a company?

PayPal co-founder sells out of foundering Facebook at VAST profit

Matthew Anderson

Re: real world assets?

Not very many home grown patents at all as they are just a young whipper snapper of a company. I do believe they purchased a bunch of AOL patents from Msoft recently though which seems to be the current trend with these companies.

How zombie LulzSec exposed privates' love lives with PHP hack

Matthew Anderson

@The crew is apparently "not as motivated" as the original LulzSec, according to Rachwald, adding that it has made little or no contribution to IRC chats and hacker forums.

So in otherwords they are making an attempt not to get caught, unlike the other fools? Stay low, do your business, get out safely.

Report: SAP exec charged with $1,000 LEGO bar-code caper

Matthew Anderson


I have the sames feelings about peoples who says ASDAs. "Popping down to ASDAs to buys some LEGOs". I just wants to punch their faces ins.

LulzSec SMACKDOWN: Leader Sabu turned by feds last summer

Matthew Anderson

" @JAKE DAVIS, a/k/a “topiary,” a/k/a “atopiary,” [29, of Lerwick, Shetland Islands]

Topiary was 18 no? Meh, either way, Sabu facing 129 years? Crazy Americans. 129 years for being a grass though, never trust a crim heh. Anarchist he was not, just a power tripping nerdo who will be written into Internets history for.....Well not for the Lulzboat, he ditched that and ran. Another Sabu will take his place, then another. This is the joy of Anon, no, this is the joy of the Internets.

Dell Latitude E6220 12.5in Core i7 notebook

Matthew Anderson

Suggested Price: £1370

Like the top 3 comments, I baulked at this. This is not aimed at small businesses at all, small businesses use £450 laptops. This is aimed at people with wads of cash.

Google+ funny numbers mask falling growth

Matthew Anderson

Do you think Becks n Posh are there all the time because they have a social media team? :X

The pair of them can hardly string two words together without sounding like mongs (thanks Gervais), even logging in to arsebook/twunker/G+ would probably cause their brain cells to explode, never mind actually using them.

'Space Monkey' craze: Texan students 'get high' by choking each other

Matthew Anderson

Not really a new craze, does any one else remember doing this at school? We used to do it in teh boys toilets, either mild strangulation or by standing upright against the bog wall and have a fellow school chum press heavily against your chest until one felt giddy.

This was some 16 years ago, god dammit i'm aging!

Anonymous hunts neo-Nazis with WikiLeaks-style site

Matthew Anderson

Ell Reg Ddos's again?

I think they should have bought better hosting. Either that or The Reg needs to start contributing to bandwidth bills for sites they publicise ;-)

Ballmer can exhale: Bill Gates rules out Microsoft return

Matthew Anderson

One day they will both be dead and written into history. A Hollywood movie made, several books and yet more movies.

I thought this story was about Bill not going back to MS? Seems to have degenerated into the Bill n Steve saga.

If we are to have a movie, can we have one with them smoking a bong together then several scenes later fighting over the aesthetics of different types of coffee? :-) (fair trade of course)

Journos can tweet from UK courts: But who's a journo?

Matthew Anderson

This is fucking stupid.

1. If I am up in court what right has some halfwit journo got to be sending 140 chars about my case proceedings to whomever they wish? It's bad enough that it gets reported in nasty tabloids the day after, never mind live fucking coverage in txt spk.

2. If I am a Judge in a busy court room, proceeding over an important case, why would I want half baked requests from members of the public, or anyone else for that matter to send 140 char messages to all n sundry? Taking up valuable court time and interfering with matters in hand...

Nonsense I say....

York CompSci student pleads guilty to Facebook hack

Matthew Anderson

I don't know all the details of the case but with no malicious damage/intent other than access, and from the sounds of it fairly intelligent hacking as opposed to brute force/ddos/script kiddie nonsense, then a little community service and a warning of jail time in Wandsworth should suffice I hope.

NASA confirms first Earth candidate in habitable zone

Matthew Anderson

So it would only take around 5100000 earth years to travel there. Boost.

Snowbound Alaskan survives on frozen beer

Matthew Anderson


Slangevar :-)

PayPal founder helps steer super geek cruiser

Matthew Anderson


See title.

So we have a ship in international waters, housing geeks. They can travel to and from the ship, essentially commuting each day for leisure purposes to LA (no worky, tourist visas remember). On the ship we will have some dudes working on spurious tech projects.

Can we have nekid girls, pizza and pepsi with that please? :D Sounds lush and I'm in. :-)

Siri gets Android rival as Cluzee goes live

Matthew Anderson


An application I will never use. :-)

Other than phone calls, I do not speak to my phone. I've tried it and it feels unnatural.

"text Friend, Want to meet up in an hour?"


"Where can I buy a Pizza?"



0 0


"Search: cheap jeans for sale"


ARGHHHHH - not only do i feel like a prick, but I have to repeat myself in public and feel more like a prick.

Keypads r mch nicr

Samsung offers Galaxy Nexus pre-orders through Phones4U

Matthew Anderson

Lower specs than the Galaxy S 2 so what is the point in this phone other than it running ice cream sarnies?

Google loses battle for goggle.com

Matthew Anderson

Why give the money to the lawyers, just offer him a million bucks and be done with it.

Geek girls lauded on Ada Lovelace Day

Matthew Anderson

you might wanna fix that findingada link ;-)