* Posts by Dave Cheetham

62 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Apr 2007


NERDS KICK PUPPY 'bot in brutal attack

Dave Cheetham

Forget driverless cars

I want to ride one of those to work each day!

Cave scrawls prove Neanderthals were AT LEAST as talented as modern artists

Dave Cheetham

'pre-human ape-men possessed artistic faculties at least as sophisticated as those of the "young British artists" movement of the '90s.'

...or maybe the young British artist movement had an intellect the size of a Neanderthal. Sums up the crap produced by Damien Hirst and Tracey Emin!

KRAKOOM! iPad Air explose in fireball, terrified fanbois flee Apple store

Dave Cheetham

Fire? We have an APPliance for that!

Coat please.

Amazon to deliver groceries in 20 markets by 2014

Dave Cheetham


Wonder whether they will pay it or say the orders are processed in some tax haven!

Twitter passes 200 million monthly users

Dave Cheetham

200 million people need to get a life!

So sad!

Won't somebody think of the planet. All that wasted energy charging batteries to power those tweets.

This is out of hand now: Apple attempts to trademark the LEAF

Dave Cheetham

Re: Next step: sue God?

God wouldn't have a chance of defending the case. All the lawyers are in the other place!

Pirate Bay back online as PRQ raid target confirmed

Dave Cheetham

Usual crap to try and justify piracy.

Quote anon coward: "For the first time, I recently downloaded a movie using TPB. I liked it so much that I promptly bought a copy. It cost £5 including postage from an big online supplier. Maybe the distributors need to look at their pricing rather than criminalising their customers."

And next time I go to the Cinema, I will tell the Manager that I want to see the film free first to decide if I want to pay to see it. There is NO reason or justification for piracy. When will freeturds see how unreasonable their behaviour is. The producer of the film decides the price he wants people to pay to watch it. If you don't want to pay that then don't watch it. END OF!!!!

NASA working on faster-than-light drive capable of WARP TEN

Dave Cheetham

Let's do that again?

The interesting fact about Warp speed is that it is just a jump to the left... then a jump to the right! Usually to evade the space police and their speed radar gun!

Pirate Bay founder arrested in Cambodia

Dave Cheetham

Re: All in a name.

And let's face it, they did laugh in the face of copyright owners sending them letters asking for copyright material to be taken down, laughed and made fun of letters from lawyers threatening them with court action and thought themselves above the law. Glad he has been arrested and think the jail term should now include extra time for being a dickhead!

I know this will get downvoted because most readers of this forum are freeturd supporters anyway!

Steve Jobs' last words: 'OH WOW. OH WOW. OH WOW.'

Dave Cheetham

@Mathew Evans

What he really said was oWow, 'i' things are so last year as he found out when he saw the light!

Blighty's rocketeers gather for ballistic love-in

Dave Cheetham

Do you get a badge for it?

Cardboard tubes, washing up liquid bottles, string, sellotape (durex to you aussies), ah that brings back memories... and here's one we made earlier.

Scotland Yard still have no idea why their network fell over

Dave Cheetham

Obvious response!

Bet their immediate response was " 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello. What's going on 'ere then?"

Bloke pissing in reservoir prompts 8m gallon flush

Dave Cheetham

I'm sticking to beer

Piss in a resevoir I can tolerate, but all this talk of dead animals, birds that crap in it and fish that procreate... I will never drink water again. The PR exercise has backfired and I may have to sue for damage to my liver from only drinking alcohol now!

Brit expats aghast as Denmark bans Marmite

Dave Cheetham

Save our expats

Flotilla of boats full of Marmite!

Stay-at-home PayPal crook used stolen funds to buy gold bullion

Dave Cheetham

Future career

He should do well in the banking industry when he comes out. Bankers raid your account, buy gold bullion and live extravagant lifestyles, and they don't care if they get caught out!

Inventor of the Workmate dies

Dave Cheetham

Built to last

I bought mine about 33 years ago and apart from two of the nylon leg retainer clips breaking over the last couple of years, it is still going strong. Things were made to last then.. not like the throw it away and replace it each year' society we have become.

Overzealous anti-paedo scheme not dead yet

Dave Cheetham

Suits me!

@Franklin "If the goal is to protect children or the elderly from those statistically likely to harm them, the first thing to do is keep their family members, close relatives, and other trusted folks far, far away, right?"

Keep my kids and family as far away as possible please! I might get some bloody peace then.

Reg reader stitches PARIS right up

Dave Cheetham


What an achievement. You guys are an inspiration to the world. Also, just seen the article about it in the "Times" today as well. At least the Times mentions the Reg and the project sponsors. Do you realise how much advertising you just got for £8000?


Playboy centrefold freaks out at 10,000 feet

Dave Cheetham
Paris Hilton

I love the writer of this article!

"staff would probably have preferred if she'd simply calmed herself down with a large stiff one rather than the handle on a door... "

my mind wandered at that point!

Pars because she would know how to pull a handle.

Pakistani lawyer petitions for death of Mark Zuckerberg

Dave Cheetham

In return...

Will they be handing over all the terrorists they are giving refuge to as they are in contravention of our laws.

Religious crap. You can't be held liable for blasphemy if you don't believe! They are in infringement of my right to be an athiest.

Owner of Russia's biggest breasts sues over airline buffeting

Dave Cheetham


Was she asked if she was carrying anything she didn't pack herself? I have heard about these drug mules, so maybe her surgeon had packed her full of crack...

£15 a month for legal P2P?

Dave Cheetham

I will believe it when I see it!

All the freetards here posting how they would happily pay each month for their downloads are talking utter crap. The moment P2P became legal they would swap to another one where they didn't have to pay and forget all about their posts here. Freetards are scum! Always will be!

McKinnon family awaits final, final extradition decision

Dave Cheetham

Fair swap

So can I extradite the bastards that make those shit american TV programs that we are inflicted with on a daily basis. Fair's fair...

LimeWire knackered by US courts

Dave Cheetham

Bloody good show!

You morons think it only affects music and films. It is all aspects of software development that get screwed by pirate copies. Grow up!

Vulcan kept airborne by £400k refuel

Dave Cheetham

In the wrong hands!

But at least we know how to use the aircraft and don't shoot at our own side like you yanks!

Let us legally rip discs, campaigner tells govt

Dave Cheetham

Common Sense

The priority here is common sense and what is Just and Right!

Taping something you have bought on vinyl, transferring something from CD you purchased to MP3 player use should be perfectly legal. You have paid for a right to use that music for your personal use. However, DOWNLOADING something from a torrent site and which you haven't paid for should be clearly illegal! Uploading something to a Torrent site for others to share is clearly in breach of the licensing agreement and should be illegal.

There, law written. If everyone just abided by that principle, the music industry would be happy, genuine music lovers who purchase their music would be happy. FREETARDS wouldn't but then it is them the law is aimed at! Let them all rot in hell!

Dave Cheetham

Common sense

You no longer own the product so therefore you would be in breach of the license agreement and have to remove all copies. It would still be illegal.

MPs bash broadband tax

Dave Cheetham

Part of wanting to live in the country

You choose to live in the country, housing cost less than living in the city. So you may have to pay more for your broadband to get connected. Simple. Why should people who have to endure living in the city pay for your tranquil lifestyle!

Airport scanners face double exposure

Dave Cheetham

@John Smith

Why have you all got such a negative attitude to something that has been introduced to safeguard you when you travel. It is only the media whipping up their usual privacy/paedo/naked bodies oo'err missus.

Maybe you prefer that they say"It is unlawful to discriminate against a terrorist so pass through, you won't be scanned.."

Get a brain!

Twitter 'airport bomb hoax twit' charged

Dave Cheetham


He should have used the MPs get out clause...

My twitter account was hacked! Someone edited the post. Boo hoo!

BAA poo-poos Bollywood star's pervscan printout put-on

Dave Cheetham

Get a life people

What the f**ck is the matter with everyone in these posts. This is a security device that is there to stop you being blown up/shot/stabbed etc in an aircraft. If the public get any reason to force rejection of these machines, it will be a bad move. BAA were right to try and counter the worry! Whio gives a toss if they can print images or not. If any of you think a ghostly picture is somehow erotic, then join the "I'm gonna shoot a paedeatrician" brigade cause it must be bad. For once, I am on the side of the BAA and Government.

Nvidia details GF100 graphics beastie

Dave Cheetham

I do!

If you want to run Micorosoft Flight sim X with all of the expansions, hardware and add-ons and settings to max, you need high end graphics cards. So just because you play kids games on a console rather than serious simulations...

You Reg readers make me laugh with your bigotted statements.

Boffins 'write directly to memory' of living brains

Dave Cheetham

Damn smartass

I am not gonna forget you shone that bright light in my eye you creep. Wait till I vomit on your lunch!

Microsoft wins competition court case

Dave Cheetham

Bloody lawyers making money!

That's like saying Open Office should be sued by Microsoft because it is being given away free and basically does the same thing as their product!

What the F*ck is the world coming to? No-one is forcing you to use the software thats installed when there are many other pieces of software to use instead. Just because it is being given away free with Windows, that is not a crime? AVG bundle the Yahoo search toolbar into their product, but I don't want it. Google should sue them. Only the lawyers will win as usual.

Berners-Lee hired as gov internet adviser

Dave Cheetham

FREE Data, Get you copy now!

The govenment have never had a problem getting our personal data out into the public domain, it's keeping it private and confidential that has been the BIG problem. Why hire a "big name" if not just for a publicity stunt. Another of Brown's attempts to keep his discredited government in power.

NZ couple do bunk with £3.9m bank error

Dave Cheetham

Poetic Justice

Maybe they could become MPs cause they can steal our money and not get prosecuted. Oh no, I see the difference, "they weren't acting within the rules".

Conservative US shock-jock to sue Wacky Jacqui

Dave Cheetham

Can't we swap?

Send him and we will send you wacky jaqui. Think we will get the better deal.

Lloyd-Webber calls for clampdown on ISPs

Dave Cheetham

Pirates lies

Most freeturds use the excuse that they only want to listen to the music before they buy and that is why they don't see anything wrong in downloading. They all come up with the crap that they will go out and buy the song / album if they like it. With Spotify, you can listen free to the whole song/album, almost any song you want as the library grows, legally and decide if you like it.

Pirate Bay is no longer needed as it is a business model that doesn't return anything to the copyright holder/music artist. Spotify does.

Why you are so in favour of the "ILLEGAL" activities of Pirate bay and their type amazes me. But then you really do want something for nothing. F***IN FREETURDS!

BBC Trust moots new licence laws to cope with net

Dave Cheetham

Well said Mark

Its the same principle of Freeturds who won't pay for music thinking it is their right to download it free. Most of them argue that they want to listen to the music first before buying. Fine, well now you have Spotify where you can listen to free music all day long, whatever song you want, on demand, so Pirate Bay is no longer be needed to provide the "ILLEGAL" copies. No more excuses.

The Licence fee is for using the equipment and the airways, same as the car tax is required for using a car. It is NOT just to be allowed to watch the BBC. The fee pays for regulation of the braodcast industry and maintaining standards, allocating broadcast frequencies, monitoring and policing abuse of the airways to ensure correct seperation of channels, emergency frequencies etc etc etc. And most importantly, providing a high standard of programme making as a benchmark.

Last call for UK liberties

Dave Cheetham
Black Helicopters

1984, You've read the book, you've seen the film.... NOW live the life.

@RotaCyclic "I haven't read 1984, but I have been strongly recommended it. I thought that such a book written so long ago would have little relevance to today, but I am told it really is relevant and a worthwhile read."

No point in reading it now, its all come true, so just watch it in real life.

Brits and Yanks struck with embarasment embarrassment

Dave Cheetham


Interesting point you made that one day, kids may have to learn English AND Textspeak at school! That would then turn them against using text. Great idea. They might actually take up some other interest instead of continually texting each other and even develop real social skills such as talking rather than grunting, or am I being too optimistic?

South Pole stilt-base builder to give lecture in Sadville

Dave Cheetham
Thumb Down


Same old boring reg put down of second life. Getting tedious guys and showing a complete lack of originality in your articles.

@Don, professional quality like warcraft? Whether you like second life or not, the technological achievement linden labs has made is nothing short of incredible and puts it way ahead of WOW in professionalism. WOW is a computer game, SL is created by users in world.

If you don't understand it, don't comment.

5,000-year-old 'ice man' was shot to death

Dave Cheetham
Paris Hilton

Those who live by the sword

He was found in posession of a knife and traces of residue on his body that suggested he was involved in the manufacturer of weapons. Sounds familiar with today's gang culture society? Oh, maybe not, todays gang members don't have the brains to manufacture as they dropped out of the education system.

Paris, cause she knows all about mens bodies.

UK ISPs agree to menace their filesharing users

Dave Cheetham

Well said Big_Boomer

Nice to see the truth amonst the usual rants from the freetards. Hope the ISPs close all their accounts then the internet might speed up to decent rates. And while the ISPs are at it, also close the accounts of the damn Bots that churn out the spam. If you can't keep your computer secure, you shouldn't be allowed access to the internet. Time we had an exam to pass before people could connect.

All this talk about the music industry making profit, if you don't like it, don't listen to the music. Breaching copyright by filesharing affects small software developers too, so lets forget talk of some moral crusade against fatcats. And don't spew the crap about "I want to try it before i buy". My software, my rules. If you don't like my rules, don't try the software. Your loss.

So Big_boomer... respect. Nice post.

Jeremy Clarkson tilts at windmills

Dave Cheetham


"Bluntly put I do not believe that exceeding the speed limit is by itself dangerous driving, "

I had a child run across a road in front of me from between parked cars. I was luckily doing exactly 30 being very aware of the speed limit having been clocked by a mobile unit a few weeks before (37 in a 30 zone section where everyone was doing that speed ahead of me). I stopped an inch away from the scared and shocked kid. A mile or 2 faster and i would have hit her.

That incident focussed the reality of why the limit exists. I now stick to the limit and say to drive over the limit IS dangerous driving.

A life is worth more than getting your adrenaline rush!!!!

'Extreme porn' law could criminalise millions

Dave Cheetham

Could be worse

Normally this govenment just taxes everything. Nice to see them doing something different for a change. Totally wrong and misguided, but at least they are consistent in their stupidity.

Roll on the Election so we can get the buggers out!!!!!

Or should that be - Roll on the erection so we can bugger them?

eBay slams UK.gov touting ban

Dave Cheetham

Face Value

I am 100% in favour of stopping ticket touts and block booking, as people who don't have big money to spend are deprived of attending the events. We are a sick society where only the rich can do these things.

Make it so that tickets can be sold on ebay or anywhere but legally cannot be sold for more than face value.

Mines the coat I bought at a charity shop. Hope theres some tickets in the pocket.

Aussie laser-pointer dazzle attacks on airliners: Bad

Dave Cheetham

Distraction at crucial point.

At the distance from landing that the Pilot would be distracted by a flickering light or sudden flash or reflection, the pilot is a) transitioning from instrument to visual and b) monitoring for any light coming on to indicate possible problem.

It does not have to be powerful enough to blind or do anything, merley distracting the pilot at that crucial time is enough to cause a major incident.

ATC had reported several aborted landings because of this distraction.

What part of the danger or believability of this article do you not undrestand.

Why do most people need to have these even ordinatry power laser pointers for anyway. Pick up the kid in the street with one and I don't think he will be about to give a lecture at the local university. They are mainly used by mindless morons to dazzle oncoming traffic anyway.


Ohio man cuffed for shagging picnic table

Dave Cheetham


Well we all know these self assembly instructions can be blurred or vague, so maybe he misunderstood "put complete erection in hole in centre".

Man cuffed for lamppost sex outrage

Dave Cheetham

He wanted someone to look up to.

Maybe now he can see the light...

And why wasn't the lamp post arrested too as it takes two to tango.