* Posts by Haku

1902 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Apr 2007

'Health and safety killjoys' kill cheese-rolling race

Haku

That sucks :(

I've been to it a few times over the years as I'm only about 7 miles away, some 20 years ago when I was a kid I once participated in the race _up_ the hill and that was tough enough.

Real shame it became too popular, perhaps they should introduce it as a new 2012 Olympic event :D

Car thieves making clean getaway with GPS jammers

Haku
Coat

The war on drugs

Reminds me of a Bill Hicks standup piece - "There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it."

Too fat to fly: Kevin Smith and OpenOffice

Haku

Netbook vs laptop

"just what is the point anymore"

Physical size and weight.

For me, my Asus Eee 900 is very convenient to carry around because it's lightweight & small, for a little more I could have gotten a bigger screen, bigger harddrive, faster laptop but the weight & size would make it awkward to carry around with me everywhere.

I really dislike the trend of the average smaller size of netbooks having 10" screens, my 8.9" screen netbook is perfectly fine for me and I have no troubles touch typing on the keyboard, in fact I now find 'fullsize' keyboards more difficult to type on because they're so much bigger.

Haku
Coat

no, Clerks

Thirty seven?!?

World of Google zombies mistake news story for Facebook

Haku

ctrl + enter

This key combination should be taught to everyone who uses a webbrowser, it's one of the best browser shortcuts I know of.

If you don't know what it does try typing google into the address bar and then press ctrl+enter.

In FireFox you can also press ctrl+shift+enter to get .org and shift+enter to get .net

Haku
Stop

If Google went offline...

...it would be the perfect test of how internet savvy you are because most of the people who have www.google.com as their homepage would suddently be hopelessly lost, leaving everyone else in fits of laughter because they know about bing, altavista, yahoo etc. searches and they wouldn't rely on GMail for their email.

I'd absolutely love to see how the world would react to 24 hours without Google. It would be the the PERFECT April fool joke.

El Reg reader assembles own iPad

Haku
Coat

Cheap LCD tablet

http://www.myboogieboard.com/

A bargain at only $30!

But I'm sure I've seen similar devices at my local 99p store for kids (sans LCD)...

Police have more than 10,000 ANPR cameras

Haku

Cyclists

Find out where there are some/many cameras that track you by your registration plate, especially ones that do average speed calculation, then get a bunch of cyclists all wearing shirts with the same fake numberplate on the back.

Now proceed to cycle past the cameras, with 100 meter gaps between each cyclist. Repeat many times.

Probably the best way to make the point about the damn cameras would be to have shirts made up with the registration of a well known politician / police chief etc. to really stir things up.

eBay cans free P&P requirement

Haku

Rule of thumb when buying on eBay

Never buy (or sell) more than you can afford to lose if the deal goes tits up.

I've been using eBay for over 10 years now* and got a rating of almost 1000, only been stung about 4 times when buying & never received it, I have lost money on sales when things went wrong as I'd rather lose a bit of money than have to deal with an irate customer. Though I've all but packed in selling since the absurd 'no negatives for buyers' rule came into play.

It always pays to check and double check the item, seller's T&C's and the seller's selling history if the item is expensive and/or valuable to you.

*heck, has it really been that long? eBay never even sent me a card..

Chinese tablet maven threatens iPad suit

Haku

CE certification

Isn't that just part of the decorative design of products now? like go faster stripes on cars etc.

Stranded Hartlepool pair refuse coastguard rescue

Haku
FAIL

O_o

There truly is no limit to stupidity.

Steve Jobs dubs Google's 'don't be evil' motto 'bulls**t'

Haku
Megaphone

"Waaah! Google isn't playing fair!"

Do you suppose he's a bit narked everyone's taking the piss out of his new baby?

Hitler - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjO89DU3oBk

Dom Joly - http://www.funnyordie.co.uk/videos/d2b714361c/hello

Even Peewee Herman! - http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/f7a03edbd7/pee-wee-gets-an-ipad

Remote tribe discovered worshipping iPad

Haku

Um, Lester,

have you had any sleep in the past 3 days?

Who ate all the iPies?

Haku

Genius vs madness

An oversized iPhone without the phone, that's either genius or madness.

I'm still very skeptical over the iPad, especially as for the expected price you could get an Asus T91 (with change to spare) which gives you the ability to run almost any Windows/linux app you want depending on what OS(s) you install, as well as a swivel touchscreen to turn it into a tablet.

But who knows, a year from now the iPad price could be halved and someone will probably have worked out how to unrestrict it and it could prove a really neat bit of kit.

*shrug* it's going to be an interesting year for Apple and it's followers/haters :)

iSlate leaves fingerprints all over the net

Haku

iSpeculation

should be the proper name of this alleged new thing from Apple, everyone's got their own theory on what shiny new object Steve Jobs will present to the world, which millions of people will lap up (some only to say they have the latest Apple gadget).

I hope he doesn't do the envelope thing again...

Full-body scanner blind to bomb parts

Haku
Coat

Secutrity Theater

I keep seeing those two words whenever somene talks about the increased measures to try and stop people blowing up planes, perhaps they should install stages in airports so everyone waiting gets to see the strip show of the people going through security ahead of them?

Steve Ballmer defaces fanboi MacBook

Haku

Turn tables

Will Steve Jobs now sign a Windows laptop in retaliation?

BTW, hating the new auto-headline changing thing on the front page of El Reg - why the flip did you do that?! can we turn the damn thing off?

Firefox 3.6 goes live and final

Haku

One feature I want is...

...when you have a few dozen tabs open in one or several windows, things like Adobe's Flashplayer being simply embedded in a webpage without anything actually playing in the case of YouTube/Vimeo etc. can cause high CPU usage, especially if several tabs have flash embedded in the page.

I use tabs extensively to keep track of many forums, news sites, eBay searches, general searches, general information etc., it's a much easier way to keep an eye on several things at once rather than using a slew of bookmarks with just a few tabs open and having to continually select bookmarked links to load the pages you want to view.

So the feature I want is that when a tab/window hasn't been viewed for a set amount of time (say two minutes) then the browser simply 'freezes' it and doesn't allow any .java/javascript/flash etc. on the page to consume any CPU time, until you go to the tab and start interacting with the page.

McKinnon: The longest ever game of pass the parcel

Haku
Coat

@Sir Runcible Spoon

Q: What's the difference between intelligence and stupidity?

A: There's a limit to intelligence.

Haku
Thumb Down

@Carsten Holmskov

You sir, are an ignorant, inconsiderate imbecile.

This is one of those times I am glad I am not a Neurotypical, I would be ashamed to be a Neurotypical after reading your post.

Peppa Pig told to belt up

Haku

Hong Kong Phooey

They've been promoting/doctoring buckling up in cartoons for years:

I got a couple of Hong Kong Phooey VHS tapes a few years back just to relive some nostalic tv I used to watch as a kid, however one of the tapes I began to notice that they always showed the exact same scene of HKP buckling up whenever he got in his car, but not the other tape... the 'buckling up' tape was a newer bumper edition tape whilst the other tape was an original 80s one.

Swedish Weight Watchers bring down the house

Haku

Did it happen like this?

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=bc1_1261015563

Pico projectors go large in 2010

Haku

DLP? meh

Why didn't you mention Microvision's (fricken) laser projector?

That's the kind of pocket projector I want, no faffing about with focusing because it's always in focus no matter how far the image is projected.

Masses marvel at 'Most Useless Machine'

Haku
Happy

Utterly pointless, completely fun

I first saw one of these on http://www.hackaday.com a while ago and had that "I've so got to make one of those" thoughts, a little digging round YouTube revealed these things have been around forever, originating in those cute mechanical coin banks where you place the coin on a pad and a hand or something reaches out of the box and pulls it in.

However this one is my favourite useless machine so far: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2F_BKe-XWo4

Haku

Red Dwarf

The useless machine also reminds me of my favouite episode of Red Dwarf, series four episode four, White Hole, when Rimmer turns on voice control of Holly's on/off switch (skip to 10:45):

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8547654130801167020

P.S. would anyone like any toast?

Magic Mice cast energy-sapping spell

Haku

Nah

they just haven't discovered Low Self Discharge NiMH batteries that work as good the next week/month as they would the next day.

Haku
Boffin

Rechargables

You can get 1.5v rechargable AAs, they're alkaline RAM types which require a special charger. But really most gadgets are only concerned about the overall amps the batteries can give out which is why 1.2v NiMH/NiCad batteries will happily work in most situations.

The only main downside of normal NiMH batteries that they lose their charge pretty fast even when not used, so not very good for remote controls, but now there are Low Self Discharge NiMH batteries on the market that can hold an estimated 60% of their original capacity a year after being charged and not used. I've bought a pile of them to replace my old NiMH's and they're great - doesn't matter if you use them that day or the next week they'll still hold their charge and give out full power.

It's also worth investing in a charger that can indiidually peak charge batteries instead of blindly giving them a charge for x hours which can over-charge them, like the BC-700.

Bono accuses ISPs of 'reverse Robin Hooding' over piracy

Haku

Don't worry Bono,

it's not like we're wasting our bandwidth downloading your 'music'.

My favourite line from one of Billy Connolly's stand-up shows was:

"And it Bono wants to save the world, shut the fuck up"

Asus Lamborghini VX5

Haku
Thumb Down

'notebook' ??

I would not call a 16 inch screen machine a notebook, at that size it's a fricken laptop!

Why do these netbook/notebook creators keep increasing the screensize of their products? 8.9" is perfectly fine for me and a lot of others, yet they all want to sell me 10" or bigger screens now. Don't cite the old "oh but the keyboard is too small" bollocks, the keyboard on this Eee is perfectly good enough for me to be able to touchtype on - it's 'fullsize' keyboards I have trouble with now because you have to move your fingers so far in all 3 axis to touchtype.

O2 and Be Broadband speeds dip

Haku

Speed 'dip' ?

I used to be with an Enta reseller, until Enta's service went completely down the toilet and speeds dropped to practically ISDN levels during peak hours (the hours that are metered and you're paying for the bandwidth) so I went to Be...

Breath of fresh air!!

Now I got 30% faster downstream AND upstream rates than I ever got on Enta (4.8mbit & 1.2mbit respectively), and they haven't throttled my speeds to death like Enta did.

UK etailer calls self 'the last place you want to go'

Haku

No Shit Sherlock

With their history of extended warranty ripoffs & prices usually above the average, you'd only want to buy from them if the item in question really is a bargain.

Apple seeks patent on reality

Haku
FAIL

Innovative?

Are Apple actually innovative anymore/ever?

From my (somewhat limited) point of view it appears Apple only have the knack of just re-wrapping existing ideas/technology in shiny silver/white packages and selling it to the sheeple of the world for magnitutes more than equivilant products just because it has an Apple logo stamped on it.

Chumby internet-connected alarm clock

Haku

Psst, d'ya wanna see my chumby?

I've had a US import Chumby here in the UK for several months now, initially I had some fun skimming through the various widgets like tapping the screen on the HAL 9000 one to make it say different phrases, and looking at a few YouTube vids, not forgetting the icanhascheezburger one (which unfortunately the low resolution screen makes it difficult to read many of the captions) but the interest quickly wore off when I couldn't find any specific purpose it could serve me with.

Unless you're into creating your own specific widgets or hacking the device to run your own linux code on then I feel it's more a gadget for the Facebook/Twitter type of internet user.

As there's no backup battery on the original version if your power goes out then it becomes a dead weight - no alarm clock for you! I like using my Eee as an alarm clock, set it to play an mp3 or playlist using the schedule command then put it into standby - it'll automatically come out of standby and start playing music at the desired time, even if you have a power cut because of it's own battery.

Google sues alleged work-at-home scammers

Haku
Coat

@Timothy Wright

Nothing good comes from Utah? but what about the Utah Saints?

CrunchPad gets JooJoo eyeballed

Haku
FAIL

$500? seriously?

So for the price of an Asus T91 you can buy something from a little known company which is probably going to get its ass sued off by someone well known who came up with the idea and had it 'stolen' from them?

A tablet running a proprietary OS or a full-blown netbook from a very well known company running XP with a swivel touchscreen that can fold into a tablet shape, Windows 7 version out next year with a multi-touch screen. Hmm, I wonder which I'd choose.

Now, where's the goodluckwiththat tag...

Apple wants life ban for clone maker

Haku

3rd party hardware

If Apple were smart enough they could significantly increase their userbase by allowing (by contract) 3rd party companies to produce complete units capable of running MacOS and (the most important part of the contract) be compatable with virtually all MacOS products.

This is partly why I and others think the Amiga fell by the wayside, I really enjoyed using Amigas but the fact they kept tight control over the chipsets was part of it's downfall, I reluctantly moved over to PCs because Amigas just couldn't keep up in terms of raw computing power, especially when the prices and performance of the hardware wasn't even in the PC's ballpark by the time I switched.

UK jails schizophrenic for refusal to decrypt files

Haku
FAIL

Witchhunting

The 1500's called, they want their regime back.

Mandelson to get Nominet reform powers

Haku
Stop

Where have all the Jedi's gone?

"Who made him a lord, the sith?" - Frankie Boyle

"He added that if the powers were used, officials would go into Nominet, reorganise it, and then return it to the private sector."

There's a name for that: "Seagull management" - when a boss swoops in, makes a lot of noise, shits all over your work and flies off again leaving an utter mess behind for you to deal with.

Will Ferrell is Hollywood's most over-rated overpaid star

Haku
WTF?

Is he funny?

Does anyone actually laugh to his sense of humour? I'm struggling to understand why people like the "look I just told a joke, you must laugh now" type of humour where they practically dictate the 'joke' to you.

Although I find his sense of humour somewhat grating, when he's not trying to be funny he can actually act very well as I did enjoy the film Stranger Than Fiction.

Archos 5 Internet Tablet Android-based PMP

Haku
Flame

Screw Archos

I have an AV500, really nice unit, never seen any other device (even PC software) that can ffwd/rew through video files as well+quick as this unit can, external recording is nice - but the kicker is the HD in my unit now has a few errors on it and Archos have implimented software locking so I can't replace the drive myself. Physically it's possible to swapt the drive out, which I tried but it just refuses to use the new drive. I tried contacting them through support email wanting to pay them to do the replacement - no answer.

Utter utter bastards.

Never gonna buy Archos stuff again, especially as it seems you have to buy codecs to play back standard video formats and if you want to record from cameras etc. you need to buy a plethora of docks for the damn things.

Sony to bring Risk to the big screen

Haku
Coat

Tic Tac Toe starring Matthew Broderick

Coming this Spring, Matthew Broderick is a man who spends his working hours planning theoretical scenarios involving global thermonuclear war outcomes, but his dream is to create the ultimate tic-tac-toe solving computer.

Or something.

Apple blueprints the iShoe

Haku
Boffin

@DeFex

A small capsule of acid in the heel will be triggered for release once Apple decide the shoe needs replacing, the acid will 'harmlessly' dissolve the sole of the shoe, rendering it useless and forcing you to buy a new pair. The only drawback is if you're wearing them at the time you'll need to seek immediate medical help, plus you'll need to store them in an acid-proof container when not in use so when the soles do dissolve they don't eat through your floor.

Hmm, I think I've been watching too much "Better Off Ted" recently... (great show)

Microsoft drops Family Guy like a hot deaf guy joke

Haku
FAIL

Hahahaha

I just tried searching for "best cartoon" on bing.com, the first result was a picture link for a video of Family Guy.

Lazy marketers strike again!

Fast USB 2.0 Flash Drives

Haku
Boffin

Very expensive!

I just skimmed through the pages, looking at the read/write speeds and the prices of the USB sticks you reviewed and have to say the prices of all of them are horribly high.

There's one 'brand' you should definitely have included in the reviews - Play.com's own 16GB branded stick (I've also seen them branded as Integral).

I have 3 of Play.com's 16GB sticks, the first two cost me £16 each and get ~30MB/s read and ~12MB/s write, however the 3rd was bought a few months after the first two for £17 and gets ~30MB/s read and ~20MB/s write.

At the current price of £17.49 it outshines all the ones you reviewed here in ferms of £ per GB, as well as very good read/write speeds.

Lloyds TSB's online banking system shows no love for Firefox

Haku
Thumb Down

TSB

Weren't they the bank that liked to say YES ?

Now they merged with Lloyds it seems they like to say "We really couldn't give a fuck", and that's from personal experience in dealing with those pillocks.

Michael Dell: Netbooks go sour after 36 hours

Haku

Other side othe coin

I once had a 'full size' laptop years ago but not for long because it was annoying to use as it was too heavy, difficult to carry around, viewing angle of the LCD screen was like 90% of the cheap end of the scale laptops - bloody atrocious because unless you get the screen dead square on, you're looking at a dark image where the contrast has gone skewif and the colours have gone psychadelic, and even when you're square on you get noticable shading where the top of the screen is darker than the bottom.

Sure the expensive 'full size' laptops have the nice viewing angle LCD screens but they cost a fortune so you wouldn't want to be lugging it around too much in case you break it, defeating the point of a portable computer.

But for me, netbooks (or legtops as they can appropriately be called) are what I've wanted for years because they're very lightweight meaning I can easily hold it in one hand and type on it with the other, carry it around without feeling like I'm in the lead transport business, very rugged because of the SSD (although some arsewit netbook manufacturers are dumping that for HDDs, idiots) so I don't need to treat the unit with any special care when lugging it around and carrying it in my bike panniers (a HDD would probably have died months and months ago) and best of all you can afford to buy a new one each year when the features increase but the size/weight doesn't because they're so damn cheap for what they offer!

WD adds e-ink screens to external HDDs

Haku

Ch-LCD

Ch-LCD was developed many years ago which only needs power when changing from dark to clear or clear to dark - we could have had such external HD cases which permanently display the capacity years ago if they'd used that, or perhaps they do, simply saying "e-ink" could mean anything.

Pirate Bay sinks again after Dutch ISP complies to cut off order

Haku
FAIL

Gordon's ALIVE!!!

Just tried it (12:20) and it's back online.

Methinks the movie industry is trying to stamp out a several thousand acre forest fire with their feet and small buckets of water... ain't gonna happen, if TPB goes down 'for good' people will just migrate like they did when Suprnova got the axe.

CCTV website recruits video vigilantes

Haku
Black Helicopters

Red Dwarf - Back To Reality

[reading posters on the wall of the car park]

Sebastian Doyle: "Vote Fascist for a Third Glorious Decade of Total Law Enforcement"?

Jake Bullet: "Be a Government Informer. Betray Your Family & Friends. Fabulous Prizes to be Won"?

Google strips Pirate Bay homepage from search results

Haku
FAIL

related search FAIL

I just tried searching for simply 'torrent' and whilst there's no pirate bay links showing on the first page of results, but at the bottom of the page (.. added to separate the link text):

Searches related to: torrent

fxm torrents .. maxspeed torrents .. transformers revenge of the fallen torrent .. torrent trackers

the pirate bay torrent .. p2p torrent .. bitcomet torrent .. azureus torrent