Posts by Haku

French woman gets €800 a month for electromagnetic-field 'disability'

There's a special place for people like that...

It's called a Faraday Cage.

Or she could move to the United States National Radio Quiet Zone.

YouTube bloggers told to slap 'advert' stickers on their vid posts

Nerd³ did a great parody of plugging products on his channel:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKMngoBf7Wg

'I don't recognise Amazon as a bullying workplace' says Bezos

BBC Panaroma - Amazon: The Truth Behind the Click

Full programme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXWJ4GfQ22E

Apple tries to patent facial recognition

You've just given me a business idea, re-package those joke glasses with a new label:

"ANTI SURVEILLANCE TECH"

Watch out, Tokyo! Samsung readies a 15 terabyte SSD

I keep my 128GB USB3 sticks in metal airtight capsules to make sure they're not damaged during transit/storage, for a 2.5" 15TB drive I think I'd want of those large reinforced flight cases which has its own wheels to feel the drive is safe.

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

Actually, exactly how many kidneys will I have to sell to get just one of them?

Surprise! Evil-eyed cats MORE LIKELY to be SNEAKY PREDATORS – boffins

Ok, but what about toads?

It's happened, folks: An actual exhibition about cats and the internet

And the first ever cat animation created on a computer?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O4mm3hXNgA

From Russia in 1968, printed ASCII images photographed in stop motion to create an animation.

Sadly the original Catscan site is gone, but: http://thecatscan.tumblr.com/

Also, http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/

Moronic Time cover sets back virtual reality another 12 months

Yes, exactly, I don't understand why Time decided to show everyone what the Oculus looks like when you're observing someone using it, instead of an illustration of what the experience of using the Oculus is like.

For those too young to have seen this BBC broadcast

Check this ancient show on virtual reality from 1991 and see where it all started:

Horizon - Colonising Cyberspace (YouTube)

And on that bombshell: Top Gear's Clarkson to reappear on Amazon

Now they're on Amazon, perhaps Clarkson should change his tradmarked "POWERRR!" cry to "BANDWIDTH!"

BT broadband in broad-based brownout and TITSUP incidents

Re: Unlucky if you live in one of these areas

Must be really bad if they mention Glasgow, Bristol and Manchester twice for maintenance work on the 28th.

We put Windows 10 on a small fondleslab: STILL not ready, 3 days to go

Re: All around the world and I, I, I, cant find my . . .

Windows search was 'adequate' on XP, I hate the Win7 version and haven't tried 8, but very very glad I discovered the free Windows search tool Everything which indexes NTFS attached drives very quickly and displays realtime search results as you type, with regular expression capability for even more refined results.

Driverless cars banished to fake Michigan 'town' until they learn to read

It's all very nice giving them their own little road network to play on but what happens when the cars learn of the huge road network outside of the gates?

More Apple Car mutterings: Cupertino slurps more autobiz brains

Re: Name

Going by the whole fruit association thing, does this mean the people inside will be referred to as 'Worms'?

"I overtook this Apple Car the other day on the freeway, it sure wiped the smug look off the face of the worm inside!"

How will you know if someone has an Apple Car?

They'll beep at you.

Neil Armstrong's MOON spacesuit: One small donation from you - one giant leap for Mankind

Re: $500,000?

FFS it was a JOKE, no need to be such a pedantic dick about it.

$500,000?

That's quite a lot of money for a basic green screen setup...

The US taxman thinks Microsoft owes billions. Prove it, says Microsoft

Billions? Were they using Windows 3.1 calculator for the sums?

http://www.eggheaven.com/eggs/curios/213-windows

Bill Hicks: 25 years on from the cult comedian's big break

He was also on BBC1's Paramount City in 1991

I captured this in from my one of my old Betamax tapes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-zYm7TYUBA

Ant-Man: Big ideas, small payoff

Re: That's what I'm doing today

Has anyone got a poppadom the size of lake Michigan? This stuff's really good.

/typed from memory despite not seeing that episode for years :)

You Musk be joking: Tesla's zero to 60MPH in 2.8 SECONDS is literally 'ludicrous'

"Sir hadn't you better buckle up?" "Ah, buckle this! LUDICROUS SPEED! *GO!*"

My 9 year old godson is a Star Wars fan courtesy of his dad, he'd never seen Spaceballs before so we all sat down to watch it one night, until he piped up about 1/3 the way through that he coouldn't handle it anymore because he found it just too weird!

TalkTalk deactivates hundreds of email accounts after legacy spam scare

I still have a working email address from an ISP I was kicked off over 8 years ago!

Won't say which one in case they hear of this and close it down :)

(they kicked me off for over-usage of a package with 'unlimited' in the title...)

Commodore PET lurches out of its 1970s grave – as a phablet

You don't need an 8-core 3GB ram mobile to play Amiga games

My 'old' and 'slow' Samsung Galaxy S2 happily runs that Uae3All2 which was demonstrated in the video, and it didn't cost me anything near $300.

Microsoft starts switching on paid Wi-Fi service with latest Windows 10 preview

"As long as you're in the country where you bought Microsoft Wi-Fi"

"You can't save time for later."

"You also can't transfer your Microsoft Wi-Fi time to another device; you can only use it on the device you bought it from."

Ditch crappy landlines and start reading Twitter, 999 call centres told

Obligatory IT Crowd reference: (with appropriate post icon)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EBfxjSFAxQ

We tried using Windows 10 for real work and ... oh, the horror

That desktop wallpaper looks...ominous

Like part of a poster design for a supernatural horror film.

THIS MEANS WAR between USA and Japan! GIANT ROBOT WAR

Re: Robot Jox

better different

:)

Robot Jox

An article about giant fighting robots with humans inside piloting them yet no mention of Robot Jox? Just how young are you all at El Reg?

Rise of the Machines: ROBOT KILLS MAN at Volkswagen plant

"Did I miss any?"

Canada.

Humongous headsets and virtual insanity

Humongous? No, THIS is HUMONGOUS:

Toshiba 360 Gaming Helmet - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo1BRhoBHAs

It makes almost anyone look like Marvin the paranoid android from the 2005 HHGTTG film.

British banks consider emoji as password replacement

Bank password?

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1wjul2_n-word-password-last-comic-standing_fun

Cortana threatens to blow away ESC key

Also try Alt-Esc and Alt-Shift-Esc combos :)

Cops turn Download Festival into an ORWELLIAN SPY PARADISE

Re: Supplies for Download festival !!!!

A 'vegan'? Is that someone who's from Vegas?

Stop already.

Technological advances are generally a positive thing, until something like this comes along and you have to stand up and say stop already, technology shouldn't be so pervasive.

Brit plods' post-TETRA radio omnishambles comes home to roost

Jamming.

Isn't 4G particularly vulnerable to jamming?

Criminals could have a field day with a bunch of cheap Chinese import jammers bought over the internet with practically no traceability, knowing the police would be commincationless even if they tried to use their normal mobile phones.

FBI: Apple and Google are helping ISIS by offering strong crypto

Re: Not only them!

Will a lifesize cardboard tank do?

KFC takes legal axe to eight-legged mutant chicken claims

KFC in China ?

If the internet rumours are true that Chinese eay anything, how can we be absolutely sure it's even chicken, mutant or not, they're serving over there?

Secure web? That'll cost you, thanks to Mozilla's HTTPS plan

I'm terribly sorry but I think I missed the bit where they explain that I shouldn't be visiting sites like http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/ and http://thecatscan.tumblr.com/ because they're not https enabled.

Welp, PEAK GIF is upon us! Facebook now supports animated images

For those lucky not to know the reference, it was a website that just played this on a continual loop: hamsterdance (YouTube)

And if you didn't know and you watched the video, welcome to the hell of early internet meme's! It only got worse...

Why voice and apps sometimes don't beat an old-fashioned knob

Futuristic Home Owner's Diary from about 20 years ago, doesn't seem too far from today's futuristic home predictions just without wifi, and replace the Usenet reference with Facebook & Bittorrent.

Also, beware of plugging your computer into all your appliances for fear of it becomming sentient. Cases in point: Electric Dreams (1984) & Demon Seed (1977)

Your CAR is the 'ultimate mobile device', reckons Apple COO

Huh?

The only makes of car I can think of which you can fit in your pocket aren't involved in the mobile industry, you know the ones, Matchbox, Hot Wheels, Corgi, Dinky...

Boffins create tiny holographic battery that fits INSIDE a chip

Apple will love this!

It'll give them the ability to legitimately state they can't replace the battery so you'll have to buy a new one.

Android ransomware poses as FBI smut warning

Re: The future isn't looking bright

Ransomware may not be the first thing you worry about with your new smart home...

This is a tongue-in-cheek prediction from about 20 years ago: Futuristic Home Owner's Diary

UK surveillance commish asks CCTV operators to please be good

Re: Quick point

"If you have nothing bad to hide, who cares if they see it?"

That's so true, innocent people never get locked up, everyone knows that.

'iPhone 6S' to push fanbois around with 'Force Touch display'

An article about a rumour of an Apple product feature. Hmm, slow news day?

As for "push back",isn't that just a fancy vibrate motion like when you type on a smartphone and the internal vibrator motor makes the device shake a little?

I do wish more tablet makers put the little vibrator motor in theirs, it almost makes typing on a touchscreen keyboard bearable. I also wish said tablet makers put a big fat white LED next to the camera too.

Wi-Fi was MEANT to be this way: Antennas and standards, 802.11 style

Thanks for the Talking Heads earworm, Danny!

Well, two can play at that game...

Hacker uses Starbucks INFINITE MONEY for free CHICKEN SANDWICH

Re: Unlicensed Disclosures

I'm sure there have been plenty of people who've discovered flaws/bugs in systems over the decades but never used them to their advantage or disclosed them to anyone for fear of serious negative consequences, starting with the company asking "So why were you poking around in ---- when you know you're not allowed?".