Posts by cookieMonster

PC owners borg into the most powerful computer the world has ever known – all in the search for coronavirus cure

Re: Very worthy

Joined. Two machines, not the fastest, but better than nothing.

Microsoft, Google, Slack, Zoom et al struggling to deal with a spike in remote tools thanks to coronavirus

No, and yes

How's this for a remote support fix? Solar storm early-warning satellite repaired with million-mile software update

Re: The Deep Space Climate Observatory

Mark Watney totally agreed with you

Pope tells his followers to log off for Lent

kiss his ring

Snigger....

So you locked your backups away for years, huh? Allow me to introduce my colleagues, Brute, Force and Ignorance

not to a PC

But an AS/400, had to use a backup tape cartridge, as hammers were forbidden in the computer room. It worked, gave me the time needed to backup the disk, though had to use a new cartridge, as the improvised hammer was kinda 'chipped' after jumpstarting the disk.

It's cool for Brit snoops to break the law, says secretive spy court. Just hold on while we pull off some legal jujitsu to let MI5 off the hook...

Re: 007 ... license to kill

All of it...

In an homage to Harry Potter's every-flavour jelly beans, Microsoft unveils 'Lucky Dip' Windows 10 testing ring

Re: So yes, all a bit confusing.

'...hole ring...' I see what you did there...

Snigger.....

Admins sigh as Microsoft pushes Teams changes – let everyone play!

Re: When we were kings...

I have the exact same setup..

You looking for an AI project? You love Lego? Look no further than this Reg reader's machine-learning Lego sorter

Fair play Daniel

Nice job, it's a rare thing to be able to combine a hobby (illness??) with work.

Have a pint (or three, since it's the weekend).

We've found it... the last shred of human decency in an IT director – all for a poxy Unix engineer

And that ladies & gentlemen

is how you lead a team.

He's a bloody hero.

Have a pint !

Like a BAT outta hell, Brave browser hits 1.0 with crypto-coin rewards for your fave websites

Upvote for the beer handle

Have a pint

Cubans launching sonic attacks on US embassy? Not what we're hearing, say medical boffins

Re: Congratulations on England for coming second in the Rubgy World Cup

Football : 90 minutes of pretending you're hurt.

Rugby : 80 minutes of pretending you're not.

Happy fifth birthday, Windows Insiders! We'd bake a cake, but it might explode without warning

Re: Where did "ring" come from?

Bend Over???

Multitasking is a myth: It means doing lots of things equally badly

My mum

told me once that when anyone asked her what I did she could never remember, so she just replied "he works with computers, or something".

So we're going back to the Moon: NASA triggers countdown by firing up spacecraft production

Sir, I salute you. That was wicked.

Huawei to lob devs $1.5bn in apparent effort to Trump-proof cloud and mobile ecosystem

Deepin Linux

I've been running that on my Lenovo X220 for the past two months or so and it's the canine's nads.

Magnetic cockroaches, dirty money, wombat poo and posties' balls: It's the Ig Nobels 2019

Re: Engineering? Why?

but if that happens, its only 2 mins to make a new one, plus the nine months "baking" time ;-)

Right-click opens up terrifying vistas of reality and Windows 95 user's frightful position therein

Re: On the other hand ...

Running something called "macpac", ahh the memories...

Captain's coffee calamity causes transatlantic flight diversion

Re: Cup-holding it wrong

Congratulations on the 1000, just given you one more for the collection, and since it's Friday, have a pint as well.

Breaking, literally: Microsoft's fix for CPU-hogging Windows bug wrecks desktop search

Hmmmm...

Over the last three years one of our key indicators of product quality – customer service call and chat volumes – has steadily dropped even as the number of machines running Windows 10 increased

Maybe your "customers" have just given up??

#MeToo chatbot, built by AI academics, could lend a non-judgmental ear to sex harassment and assault victims

Re: @IlyaG.

@andys, can't give more votes, so have a beer instead.

I think that person may be AMFM's apprentice.

Can you download it to me – in an envelope with a stamp?

Re: Moved to France

Oui, merci

Moved to France

About 15 yrs ago, and yep, that's exactly what it's like here.

There's no use fighting it (believe me I've tried).

Still, I'd never move back.

Have a beer (no wine icon).

OK, let's try that again: Vulture rakes a talon on Samsung's fresh attempt at the Galaxy Fold 5G

Re: on one hand

WHAT, you mean Anonymous Coward is not one person???

Y'know how everyone hated it when tuition fees went up? Cutting them now could harm science, say UK Lords

Can't give you more than 1 upvote

So have a few of these.

Was in a similar position a couple of years ago. Quit IT, and went into brewing beer profissionally :-)

Now I've a life and a job I actually look forward to each morning.

New UK Home Sec invokes infosec nerd rage by calling for an end to end-to-end encryption

Re: What took her so long?

Mabey next week?

Official: Microsoft will take an axe to Skype for Business Online. Teams is your new normal

Re: Force-marched to Teams

Look on the bright side, when it's down (and it will be, often) it's not your fault.

Rise of the Machines hair-raiser: The day IBM's Dot Matrix turned

Re: Let's face it, who amongst us hasn't lost a tie to the...

Pretty drastic way to get rid of some ties to be honest, but cheers for the novel, if somewhat insane method of disposal. Have a pint.

I don't have to save my work, it's in The Cloud. But Microsoft really must fix this files issue

Hmmmmmm

When I was at school there was an Apple II C ( one of them). I wrote a scheduling app for it to organise class schedules, it was replaced in 2014 at a cost of over €5000. I wrote the app in 1985, for the fun of it.

Boffins ready to go live with system that will track creatures great and small from space

Based on experience of other people's cats..

It's probably shitting in one of your neighbor's gardens

BOFH: On a sunny day like this one, the concrete dries so much more quickly

Re: Informal poll on whether you've ever had to do something like this

Been there, done that. The AS/400 was a great machine, we ran one for over a decade, never had a problem with it. Most reliable piece of kit I ever worked with (28 years in IT).

Wondering where that upcoming meeting with 'Cheap Viagra' came from? Spammers beat Gmail filters by abusing Google Calendar, Forms, Photos, Analytics...

Re: Ah, so that's where it came from.

Fekkin' spammers need to die.

You might be on to something there...

Russian Jesus gives up food to meditate on how he can improve crypto messenger Telegram

Re: It just makes me think...

Up vote for 'Gobshite'.

Brilliant!!

Alexa Conversations: Amazon's AI assistant is about to get a whole lot more like Clippy

11

Freedom!!!!

Forget that rare-earth element crunch – we can now just extract them from industrial waste

So that's why my iPad is getting slower

"The bacteria dwells in environments rich in sugar and can be naturally found in apples and pears, where they cause the fruit to rot."

And not because I'm holding it wrong :-)

Santander hands over $700m to IBM in hopes of becoming incredible banking machine

Chaos....

Yep, sounds about right....

Hungover this morning? Thought 'beer before wine and you'll be fine'? Boffins prove old adage just isn't true

How beer is processed by the body

More or less explains everything....

https://youtu.be/L6dzUOYTQtQ

Hi, Jack'd: A little PSA for anyone using this dating-hook-up app... Anyone can slurp your private, public snaps

But

But the good professor (Professor Gus Uht, engineering professor-in-residence at the University of Rhode Island, USA) just said we're not to tell anyone, because... Security, or something....

It's 2019, the year Blade Runner takes place: I can has flying cars?

Re: I have written to my bank

Been there, done that. Closed 4 accounts day before yesterday because its almost impossible to talk to a human, when you go into a branch it's a wall of machines and one or two bods who's only training is directing you to a machine that dispenses cash or accepts deposits.

Keeping cash at home, fuck the banks, they offer nothing of value these days.

Astroboffins spy a rare exoplanet evaporating before their eyes

Re: Missed Opportunity

You spelt hole wrong

Peak tech! Bacon vending machine signals apex of human invention

Re: True innovation

Agree, we done one for my mum's 70 birthday, took about 9 hrs on an ember bed to cook a suckling pig, but OMG was it worth the wait :-)

I'd upvote this 20 times if I could. US bacon (from my 10+ visits there) is pants.

Musk's popstar girlfriend Grimes croons about next-gen AI, plus more machine-learning news

Re: AI representation

Airbags?

I was once one of you, F1 star Lewis Hamilton tells delighted IT bods

Re: What a knob

Totally agree, personally I lost most of my interest in F1 after the introduction of rules to knobble Ferrari (Schumacher).

Behold, the world's most popular programming language – and it is...wait, er, YAML?!?

Go, a scripting language??

Nope !!

It's a compiled language.

Super Micro chief bean counter: Bloomberg's 'unwarranted hardware hacking article' has slowed our server sales

Three little words....

National Security Letter(s) ???

Imagine Python fan fiction written in C, read with a Lisp: Code lingo Nim gets cash injection

Have a pint

For the Monty Python reference.

Google's socially awkward geeks craft socially awkward AI bot that calls people for you

I see you've been to pornhub

Time for a wank??

Honda pores over in-car navigation software with Alibaba – report

Re: I don't want my car to try to sell me things

Buy a Renault, anything electronic in it will stop working soon enough, so your privacy is more or less secure.

Irony's lost on old Pope Francis: Pontiff decrees fake news a 'serious sin'

amen

Have a pint!!