* Posts by Pooka

128 publicly visible posts • joined 23 Apr 2008


Gourmet chemists sniff out ultimate cheese on toast


Re: This is how its done!

Mild cheddar is not cheese - it's rubber.

Any cheese that bounces cannot be considered edible.....

Now if you follow the same recipe with at least a mature, extra mature, vintage... or even the excellent 24month cheddar I had last week I'd agree with you...

Barnes & Noble bungs Raspberry Pi-priced Nook on shelves

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Re: Knowing little about these things

For some reason El Reg ate my earlier reply.....

They can be rooted and have the Amazon app installed (I saw instructions somewhere, but couldn't be bothered!) - I do it the other way and just use Calibre for managing my Nook.

There's a couple of us in this office that are very very tempted by this - I might grab one or two just to use as spares!

Peak Apple: First 'profit slip' in a decade - and, boy, it's gonna be BIG



cider be more appropriate since it's the best use for apples?

(Well apart from Apple crumble!)

Apple branded porno-peddling perverts by Chinese Pravda



There's a certain cynical side of me that had the following thought:

"So Apple settled in China once before, and now they've found something else that they can get more money out of them for.... I wonder if this is going to keep happening....

Interesting money spinner there.

(nb - I'm not an Apple fanboy and part of me finds the whole thought very amusing - like if a car dealer has just sold you a car, and now he's selling you the wheels to go on it, and next week it'll be the drivers seat inside....)

Samsung vs Apple: which smartphone do Reg readers prefer?


undecided too....

At the moment I'm using a One X, but I'm slowly getting disenchanted with HTC - I love the interface on it, but it definitely needs a better battery in it, and I don't like not having an SD card. I will be sticking with Android - but as to what flavour, it depends on what I find at the time. My decision will be influenced by the reviews that come out at the time, the capabilities of the phone and whether or not that Farcebook Home is dominant on the phone.

I don't want Facebook, I do want SD card support, I don't really care too much who makes it....

Scality proudly unveils its RING to the world


At least...

.... it wasn't Goatse

Congratulations, copyright infringers: You are the five per cent


Re: OK, case study....

Moiety - the government doesn't help on this one... you pay VAT on an ebook, but not on a deadtree special...

No.10 guru: UK tech scene is AN EXPLODING CHEESE


I think the answer is....

.... A tesco value processed cheese slice.

It's cheap, plasticky and I think the closest it ever gets to cheese is that it's sold in the same shops....

Public told to go to hell, name Pluto's two new moons


Re: Classical Underworld?

Heh - posted that Underworld joke on the other page....

But I guess as a followup we could go with "Everything" and "Everything"


I don't think I've got the right Underworld.....

Barnstyle and Sappy's Curry

Shudder and King of Snake

Rez and Cowgirl

Emerson and Hyde?

Illicit phone rings in Sri Lankan inmate's back crack


Re: I suppose

Or more.... entertaining.... if he was into that sort of thing...

(On my way already!)

El Reg contemplates the ultimate cuppa


Coffee. Preferably thick enough to stand the spoon up in, and strong enough to desolve the spoon in the process.

No milk, just a couple of sugars....

British games company says it owns the idea of space marines


Re: Another bit that isn't original

Tough call - it was certainly mentioned in Rogue Trader (first edition 40k), but I don't know about appearances in White Dwarf around that time.... Rogue Trader was '87....

Pubic louse falls victim to eager Brazilian strippers


Is it bad that....

.... I read one of the sister's name as "Jurrasic" and my first thought was "my god, she must be ancient!"

Beer, because it might fix my eyesight....

Now you can control ANY Win 8 kit with your EYEBALLS


Eyeball tracking?!?!?

.... But I'll have my eyes squeeze tightly shut so I don't have my brain melted by the bad UI!

Scottish Highlands get blanket 3G coverage


Re: Not sure I understand this...

That's pretty much it, yeah. Plug it into your broadband connection, all phonecalls on the mobile get a proper data signal.

I get no data signal in my house at all on my mobile now I don't have a SureSignal box (but I use the wifi, so no biggie...) but with a SureSignal I get a decent connection everywhere. Of course, when I speak to Vodafone about shoddy coverage they say it should be perfectly fine where I live, but I don't, and I'm not prepared to pay £100 for something of limited use to me when I can just use my wifi....

Cameron defends U-turn on web filth ban, leaves filtering to parents


Re: Is the Fail confused or am I?

P.S...... Glad to see the Daily Mail ensuring the cover images are suitable with a bikini clad and drinking young woman (not sure who - I think she's famous for something) on the cover.... maybe they're hoping that's the sort of thing that their blocking "win" will cover...


Is the Fail confused or am I?

I saw this in my local bacon and egg place whilst picking up my lunch (four slices of bacon, soft white roll, egg, no sauce), and wondered what on earth was going on since I'd seen nothing on either this site or the bbc (the only other site I visit at work).... I figured if the Fail's headline was true there would be something somewhere leading to massive shouting matches and the like....

So I guess this means that sooner or later if the ISP choses to do something then I might have to worry (two little 'uns in the house), but until then I can carry on doing what I like (within reason) on the internetwebtubes without worrying about Nanny Govt slapping me on the knuckles and telling me that it's for my own good....

I think I'll carry on being confused by it all, and head back to the shop for another bacon & egg roll....

Little spider makes big-spider-puppet CLONE of itself out of dirt


Are they going to side with us or the insects?

Human slaves.......

This is out of hand now: Apple attempts to trademark the LEAF


Does the Nissan Leaf have this as part of their logo?

Help-desk hell


Worst I ever had was a charming older gentleman who was horrified he kept getting gay porn every time he tried to check his email.... Not my fault he was spelling "Hotmail" wrong...

The worst bit was that I was the third line support agent at the time and it had already been through the "phone monkey" and "resident expert" before it came to me.... Took me all of 30 seconds to fix, and the other two had spent over an hour going through things to try and figure it out...

Staples to offer in-store full color 3D printing service


Re: I'm not sure...

Mmmm..... Boobies

One week left before US faces clamp down on piracy


Re: Legitimate usage

I can't help thinking this is a meaningless statistical comparrison....

You go to Shady Bob's CD and DVD stall at the local market, and his top 100 DVDs are all pirate copies. Sure, he's got the odd pile of DVDs which aren't pirate - but he's bought a big box or two on FleaBay so that when the police and fair tranders guys come around he can show 'em off, but everyone else knows you go to Shady Bob for the latest pirated DVD - same with pirate bay.

I could be mistaken, but I vaguely remember someone mentioning that things like World of Warcraft uses a torrenting system for distrubting patches? Surely the XX million sheep who want their latest kungfu panda fix far outweighs the number of people downloading crappyblockbusterthathollywoodsaysisawesome?

<<< Coat 'cus I need to head into work.

Automatic Facebook couple pages: Nauseating sign of desperation


This strikes me as more than a little desparate....


April and Bob are in a relationship, Facebook the ever friendly stalker creates a page for them. April splits up with Bob and starts doing the horizontal boogie with Charles. One thing leads to another - BLAMMO! - April is now seeing Charles....

Does April/Bob page get deleted?

Or are we left with hundreds of pages of April's conquests, successfully and fauthfully?

Beer, because they must've been on some good stuff when they came up with this one!

Mobile phone sales slump bites Nokia


Re: Or a table..

Only if it had curvey corners :p

Mobo monster Vodafone takes £6bn kick down south


Shall we start a book...

....on the amount of UK Tax they decide to pay?

When GiffGaff falls over, is it even news any more?


Just a thought....

This did actually get me thinking....

Given the number of stories you do post about various things tripping up, falling over, going down and generally blowing up with an earth shattering kaboom, why not just pull together a single unified page detailing current popular sites or services that are down and have it in a central place that everyone can get to? That way us little guys can see that Vodafone's billing page is being rebuilt, Amazon's datacentre has a cold and isn't coming out to play and Giff-Gaff are being, well.... Giff-Gaff again.

I dunno, maybe it's a daft idea....

LOHAN slips BRA over BOOBIES in ballocket backronym buffoonery


That's begging for a SueBall if ever I saw one....


Oooo... can I have a go please?



Navigation (and)





I'm on my way....

5 Tokyo devs cuffed over 'The Movie' Android app scam


I don't know if this says something...

.... about the gullibility of the punters, or the complete lack of imagination when it comes to new films.

Either way, I'm waiting for the direct to video release of the LionHead Classic - The Movies: The Movie.

Yeah. Hometime. Coat. Gone.

Volunteers sought to see if anyone actually can hear you scream in space


I may be missing something here....

... but are they planning on having the phone do the recording and the broadcasting? Surely there will be some stray vibrations picked up through the casing? I know I'm probably being thunderously stupid, but if the speaker and the mic are in the same box, connected to the same board and all that sort of stuff, won't the case/board also transmit the vibrations from a wobbling speaker? I guess it'll be minor, but even so....

Craig, Connery or ... Dalton? Vote now for the ultimate James Bond


I was torn between Brosnan and Craig. I know the Brosnan stories were a bit rubbish, but I did enjoy them a lot more than the Moore/Connery/Dalton ones - So far the Craig ones have been good and I've enjoyed them, but in the end I went for the Brosnan ones....

Of course, since my BluRay boxset arrived this morning I might have to sit down and rewatch the lot in order just so that I get the enjoyment of them all over again! (Damn this being in work thing - I could be most of the way through Dr. No by now!)

BOFH: Uninterruptible patsy supply


Wait.... Is it thursday or friday?

I'm baffled! But a cheap UPS should fix it....

Major Freeview EPG revamp to go ahead after appeals rejected


I have a sinking feeling.....

..... that if things carry on the way they are the entire TV system will move across to dewey decimal codes for channel numbers....

I think I need a pint.

Hackers leak 120,000 student records in raid on world's top unis


Re: splendid

Why would they need to? Surely the NHS are perfectly capable of leaving them on nearby trains, park bins or no longer used building (delete according to current fashion) on their own without anonymous getting their hands dirty.....

Vote now for the ultimate bacon sandwich


Re: precison engineer

If you don't end up with a bad case of fried egg bukkake the egg is over cooked :p

Tibetan STATUE found by 1930s NAZI expedition is of ALIEN ORIGIN


Re: photos?

I came for the Playmobile re-enactment......

Equally disappointed!

Google in new Maps patent row - but not with Apple


Re: I'm in shock

"This looks to me like another company desperate to get one of 3 results, a big payoff to go away, Google to buy their patents for big money again to get them to go away or for some other company to buy them for trolling purposes...."

I can almost hear Apple checking their balance now ;)

Apple demands $707m more from Samsung


Re: I'm confused (often)

And to add to that - I think they also mean they can't use any icons which look like any icons on an Apple product but in a different colour, hell, it's vague enough that they could even say "Your smiley looks like our smiley but you've done it in green and not yellow.... OMGBANHAMMERTIME!"

Why do I get this sinking feeling that this will successfully go through the wonders of the US Patent system, and you end up where Samsung can only sell a phone in america if it is a tartan circle with all the icons replaced with heiroglyphs otherwise Apple get it banned?


Re: I'm confused (often)

The way I read it was Apple want to sue Samsung for using black rectangles with rounded corners, white rectangles with rounded corners, blue rectangles with rounded corners, and just to be on the safe side, pale mauve rectangles with rounded corners....

NASA working on faster-than-light drive capable of WARP TEN


Re: Careful

I'll make sure I only take yellow or blue t-shirts... if i leave the red ones in the washing, I'll be fine, right?

E-books get Brits reading more


Dear gubbinment


I suspect that the sales would increase even further if you took the damnable VAT off the ebooks. At the moment I only purchase the books on special offer because I object to paying the 20% government fund increase when I don't have to pay for it on dead-tree specials.

Kind Regards,


Apple threatens to ruin peace worldwide with voice-controlled iMacs


I'm guessing things like....

Star Trek won't qualify as prior art in this case either...

Dear American Patents, just stop. Please?



Re: I do not like green (eggs and) ham.

Six ingredients - two slices of bread, four slabs of bacon.

Job done.



Global panic, riots on the street, and queues for the butchers that will make your average iShop owner on iPhone release day cry..... I can see it now.....

Gonna have to stock up, even if I have to freeze it. Frozen bacon is a set up from no bacon, but only a small one!

Ding dong, the Ping is dead! Apple brings in Facebook for iTunes


Re: Can anyone....

"Heard good things about Cowon - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cowon-120GB-Portable-Media-Player/dp/B0047Z5ZEU/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1346962588&sr=8-2"

The one important question for me - if I stop a track after 30 mins, turn off the player and then later turn it back on and hit play is it going to start where I stopped it? That's the main reason I love the ipod classic and none of the other players I've seen so far do that (or have the capacity I want!)


Re: Can anyone....

I want to replace my iPod, but I've yet to find another mp3 player that gets close to it....


Can anyone....

....suggest a replacement for iTunes to manage my iPod Classic please?

I only need it for synching my DJ sets collection from the local hard-drive - I don't spend any money on there, and to be perfectly honest, since I no longer use facebook I would prefer not to do an integration between the two....

....or is the easiest option going to be to ignore the "YOU MUST UPGRADE NOW OR THE WORLD WILL END" messages I've spent the last year or so ignoring?

Apple iPhone 5 hands-on review


Re: [Hangs coat up...]

Last time I suggested popcorn I got a downvote or three, so I've decided to stick with bacon sandwiches. More filling... and fulfilling whilst all the iphone fans try to convince us that this is the greatest thing since sliced bread (white, apparantly better for my bacon sandwiches - although I'd rather have a bread roll....)

Pint. Cider, one thereof, for future consuption whilst sniggering quietly.

HTC's 4G patent beef could get iPhone 5 BANNED in US

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To the kitchen! I need more popcorn!