* Posts by Alan Denman

1078 publicly visible posts • joined 22 Apr 2008

'$199' Surface tablets: So crazy it might work, or just crazy?

Alan Denman

Obviously it needs rid of Android in order to stay crippled

'Never the twain' is the motto for both Apple and Microsoft.

Android is unencumbered protecting other assets so it is the spanner in the works.

The weird thing is that this actually makes Android the most unique of the three.

Apple, Microsoft reveal their Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact

Alan Denman

By not competing you can choose any price

Obviously the benefits of removing Android are quite apparent.

Copying is certainly code for 'we want non competition'.

Oooh-la-la! 'iPhone 5' bares all, strokes tiny nano-SIM in pics

Alan Denman

Nobody quite gives a stuff so leak it!

The boring stuff is all coming out.

It helps us to forget the competition.

Snap suggests Apple out to 'screw' hardware hackers

Alan Denman

Screw the screw, its glue for you know who!

Obviously they simply went for the double whammy of glueing everything solid so even the battery explodes when prized off.

You always have to 'send it back to daddy' with a nice fat cheque to help the impoverished shareholders.

If Ultrabooks lasted longer, would YOU open your wallet?

Alan Denman

Ultrabooks are prt of the junk trend.

As the PC market contracts it means these things are becoming disposable merchandise in order to force you to buy new rather than upgrade or repair anything inside.

These expensive items are not the quality of old!

Beak explodes at Samsung's evidence leak in Apple patent spat

Alan Denman

It is all a bit whacko.

Indeed, outside of the US this is one heck of a whacko trial.

So so surreal to be hardly believable.

Apple's new Safari snubs older Macs, drops Windows version

Alan Denman

Only Apple can get blood out of stone.

Apple's accelerated process means your purchase soon becomes obsolete unless you pay up.

And even then you need to throw away and start again sooner than you expect.

Judge: Apple must run ads saying Samsung DIDN'T copy the iPad

Alan Denman

How big is your fine judge?

The great dictator Apple will no doubt say 'that's fine by me' and just ignore this.

I mean, how big can the fine be?

Dell readies Linux Ultrabook for autumn release

Alan Denman

Or save ...

... or save $50 by buying the Windows version.

Well that's how the Dell offers normally work, so is this yet another pretence?

iPhone 5 to be skinniest Apple yet SHOCK

Alan Denman

The svelte battery is irreplaceable.

Or did I mean non replaceable?

Apple rejoins EPEAT green tech cert program

Alan Denman

Something smells.

"On the contrary, he writes, Apple would like to see the existing EPEAT standards strengthened to include more of the environmental protection practices Cupertino uses in its manufacturing today"

Our products are designed to enhance profitability but hey that means we can recycle more.

Apple are looking more and more the bull in the china shop when it comes to marketing.

Retina MacBook Pro nukes Apple's green credentials

Alan Denman

Compaq mark 2

Remember Compaq's systems which were similarly blessed with non serviceable parts

There were no fashion suckers in the good old days of computing so their non serviceable gear quickly ceased to sell.

Alan Denman

This machine will self destruct in 2 years!

Bunch of clever b******s aren't they.

Solder the memory so if it fails $300 or so Apple profit.

Solder the SSD so if it fails $600 or so Apple profit.

Glue the whole battery so it is too dangerous to handle when it fails so $200 profit to Apple.

This item is worse than a $10 tranny which goes straight into the garbage truck when it goes wrong.

Apple boss Cook may have stumped up $60m IPAD pay-out

Alan Denman

tame tame press.

Apple never bought the rights.

The cleverly created company called IP Application Development did!

Apple simply commissioned them into existance.

Study: Climate was hotter in Roman, medieval times than now

Alan Denman

So what does it mean?

So it once warmed naturally whilst today' we have CO2 to keep the heat in and probably create a runaway train.

Not bothered because belief is where it is all at?

Screen idols: higher resolution means better laptops

Alan Denman

Size matters!

The is a consistent rule here and that is 'size of the screen matters'.

At 15" 1440X900 works but 1080p is too fine so you have to switch the resolution down to a degraded non native. At 17" 1080p is fine though on non laptop monitors it is still too high where 1080p is best for 19"+.

IPS + High resolution is heat generating high wattage.

Impress your friends but it only really matters to the fanboys who like to pay dear.

Kodak's using bankruptcy to rob us of our rights – Apple

Alan Denman

Kodak has accused Apple of "frivolous" claims to its patents

From gossip Apple only seem to have frivolous patents so I can see the attraction here.

'Google released a dairy product'. What, it's cheesy?

Alan Denman

Fruit liberation time?

Cheese is real food.

Seems to me that the guinea pigs are to be given autumn falls that may go rotten.

iPhone denies existence of Gibraltar, other bits of British empire

Alan Denman

Found Apple yet?

It's the Apple shaped country on the map.

Things will improve but does it's clients really care?

Their 'turkeys voting for xmas' vocal crowd help see to that.

Tim Cook reveals 'great' update for Mac Pro

Alan Denman

It will grate user's that Tim thinks it great that barring users from upgrading.

Obviously everything will be glued or soldered down sold for one heck of a disposable system.

Ssssh. Apple quietly mashes monster MacBook Pro

Alan Denman

Mentally challenged users welcome.

You have to admire the audacity of Apple abandoning the desktop replacement laptop for that emotional Retina connection.

Retina was 300dpi, became 264dpi and now becomes 220dpi. But the sticky label still says Retina so who cares?

Those professionals are all baristas anyway/

Apple-Moto patent gripe almost thrown out the door

Alan Denman

Foghorn Leghorn's gun!..

That $100+ billion means there will be thousands more coming from Foghorn Leghorn's splatter gun.

Focus groups are for mugs

Alan Denman

Leak dissing is the fashionable new marketing tool for mugs.

Apple keep leaking their anti Google map plans so that their pale offering will have far less outrage.

Focus goups are just a side line when pre-emptively training one's followers just works.

Advertisers slam Microsoft over 'Do not track' decision

Alan Denman

continued.......

...............and obviously some web site make lots of money but for most the profits are tiny and need any help they can get.

You don't get ought for nowt.

Alan Denman

Intentional to undermine the web yet again!

Looks to me like there is a concerted effort to get us all onto apps?

I can't help but think that the open web is a hindrance to profit/advert control.

Adobe Flash was the first target, this is looks just an extension of that.

Sharp to show OLED 'retina' display for laptops

Alan Denman

Adjust your eyesight. New Retina is 264 dpi!

Obviously these were intended for that 'cook an egg on it' new iPad which supposedly had a last minute switch.

Lucky Apple have the trademark so do they now say that anything over 263.999 DPI is now Retina?

Google's 7in Jelly Bean Android tablet spied in benchmark

Alan Denman

Low end and high end merge!

Tegra 3, 1280 X 768 ain't no low end!

New smart meter tells Brits exactly what they already know

Alan Denman

Calling it smart meter is massive exaggeration

There are 4 digits on the dial that tell us what has been used.

Replacing all of the current meters is financial madness considering account monitoring via the internet is here already,

Fruitcake politicians are wanting to spend our billions yet again.

Apple's trial experts are 'slavish fanbois who believe in magic'

Alan Denman

Re: Can't fault their stance

And Apple just throw the pebble in the water.

Alan Denman

Re: Samsung Fanbois

Obviously if it was an Alple banded version of the Samsung monitor you would have needed to buy Applecare or stump up a thousand bucks + for repair.

Long warranties work because they seldom break down. Short warranties are where failure is high though luck also comes into it.

Hands on with the Samsung Galaxy S III

Alan Denman

A victim of fanboy mantra 'you pillock'.

"I also take back previous assertions that 4.3in is as large as I'd want my handset's display to be"

You sound like you have been listening to those idiots who keep telling us that the Retina screen is 100% perfect until the very day Apple changes the specs.

Say Baaa to the sheep.

UK retail wiz makes $61m by turning up at Apple

Alan Denman

No bonus scheme?

Seems to me that even Apple think they are in a bubble.

I'd insist on rights too if I singed up.

If it don't work out I might just consider removing a zero on my demands thugh am happy with the same to keep up standards.

Apple sued for every touchscreen device by Flatworld prof

Alan Denman

Prior art here.

How can he lose?

One would think that if Apple's 'nutty as a fruitcake' slide to unlock IP is valid then obviously this one is even more so.

Can't have it both ways can you?

Getting rich off iPhone apps is b*llocks, say UK devs

Alan Denman

Android for any new devloper?

Obviously the sensible thing to do is always to develop and test market any app on Android before throwing your money away on Apple developer fees.

Small developers will get squeezed even more in future so don;t take this as gospel.

Minister blows away plans for more turbines

Alan Denman

Oily stuff available now!

" Basically, that means reducing costs quicker"

Obviously it costs the government nothing to help push oil above $500 a barrel.

Planning, well that's for socialist government!

Apple fights off ebook suit with anti-Amazon defence

Alan Denman

The Great Dictator

Well said indeed.

Sky joins BBC for Olympics coverage

Alan Denman

Dodgy dodgy dodgy

This bodes bad for the future.

Apple relents, doubles EU warranty (sort of)

Alan Denman

UK Expanded protection - of the foaming kind!

Smart phone buyers get one from Samsung, HTC or Sony.

It should come with a 2 year UK warranty.

Apple's 1 year only protection is enough to make you foam at the mouth.

If everyone just boycotts UK Apple just for solitary week that 2 year waranty is no doubt yours!

Apple slapped with second Siri senility lawsuit

Alan Denman

Who else has got it?

The whole point in having an Apple is having something others do not have. Obviously the excludes the millions of other individualists/

So whilst Sire might be useless and Retina could makes for squinting hey no one else is going to copy it. Well for our sake, let's hope not.

Plastic that SELF-REPAIRS using light unleashed by prof

Alan Denman

Glass ceiling needed.

If Reggie Perrin's boss was head guy at Apple he would say "I didn't get where I am today by making stuff like this"

Computacenter rips up £43m council contract over razor-thin margin

Alan Denman

Margins, margins, margins

Most IT contracts are unquantifiable.

One quality IT person can do the work of 100, though only if he does not have to undo damage caused by that 100.

So to me , it is likely that this contract has been sacrificed in order to improve margin prospects elsewhere.

Moneybags Apple loses $1.2m Italian warranty fine scrap

Alan Denman

Remember that song 'We want no warranties' by Pink Floyd?

.........we don't need no edjucation .

440m2 screen has fewer pixels than iPad

Alan Denman

Ir is a Retina

If you do the maths, the 100m or so viewing distance will mean its yet another Retina display.

iPad bludgeons to death two UK Apple reseller shops

Alan Denman

A job in Tesco's

Every little helps.

SF iPad launch subdued as Apple fans wise up

Alan Denman

then compare your expression with the smug look on the face of the person with the new one!

But wont they be wearing the free teeshirt just to make sure?

Viewsonic Viewpad 10e tablet

Alan Denman

A small world for the author.

There are plenty of 4/3 Android tablets around if you car to look.

iPad 3 'first tablet' with Bluetooth 4.0

Alan Denman

How about old school HDMI?

OH yeh, the ecosystem cash cow means you have to buy Apple TV etc.