Posts by Long John Brass

In Barcelona, no one can hear you scream ... HTC, Valve unleash Giger-inspired VR headgear

This is the one I want

http://technicalillusions.com/

Flash flushed: Google's AdWords to convert ads to HTML5 automatically

Won't fix

<rant>

*HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY*

The "bug" where the flash ad auto plays at max fucking volume --- Heyyyy you want Viagra!? --- How bout some cute Asian, Ukrainian, Russian women? If I wanted a wife/girfirend I'd rent one *BASTARDS*

Looking you too ElReg ... I understand that websites require advertising to bring in the pennies; But if you launch that shit in my face every time I land on a page, AdBlock gets installed on that machine pretty damned quick.

Every man & his dog monitoring every single thing I do down to breaking wind and you can't even deliver on the promise of all that monitoring? Accurately targeted advertising; Targeted my arse.

Yes I'm nearing 50, yes I'm currently single; No I don't want to see "older" friking ladies with their cleavage hanging over the edge to the ad window; Show me shiny laptops, cars, gadgets show me expensive holidays to tropical paradises...

Bad spam-vertiser... BAD

Now ... get the hell off my lawn

</rant>

Lightbulb moment for visible light networking: 200 Gbps without a fibre

Re: In Ceiling

What about a HomePlug <--> LedLighting style adapter

Visable light for the meatbags

IR for the iFondleThings

Mains power for the back-haul to the router

The downside would be no network connectivity when the lights are off, Which will make night time happy time difficult unless you make it a "smart" light bulb along the lines of the Philips Hue style units.

IrDA all over again

My ancient PalmPilot networked using the same technology :)

Over 50? Out of work? Watch out because IT is about to eat itself

Heard this before

Wasn't it 4GL & smart systems that was supposed to put us all out of a job in the 1980's ?

Now Samsung's spying smart TVs insert ADS in YOUR OWN movies

Re: WTF!

Setup another DHCP pool that allocates the IP address of the devices to a new subnet with a bogus default route; You can assign em based on the MAC address. If the device can't route out of your network, it can't talk back to the mothership

Watch it: It's watching you as you watch it (Your Samsung TV is)

Revenge of the Fappening

Wonder what happens when the great and the good get re-broadcast el-unnatural

Wonder what the prime-minister is up to this morning ... Slurping Earl Grey

Red-spattered Android figures sinkhole Sony's healthy financials

Check my math ...

If their revenue WRT the mobile division is ¥429bn then according to google that's $68bn (USD)

How the fuck can they only make $80m in profit? are their margins really THAT thin?

Or is this some creative accounting for tax purposes?

Or have I utterly misunderstood the article?

RIP Windows RT: Microsoft murders ARM Surface, Nokia tablets

Surface RT

Nice hardware, shame about the software

I don't suppose the M$ will allow us to unlock the bootloader so I can finally install Debian on it?

New claim: D-Link router exposes unprotected config controls to web – DNS hijackers, ahoy!

Colour me shocked

When will they learn; When will they stop rolling thier own shitty interfaces & builds

If they got alongside the WRT guys, we could have a secure & up to date build on these trice damned boxes.

But Noooo .... The drooling lickspittles have to nail down our ability to get a decent WRT distro on the boxes; while simultaneously allowing the window licking scipt kiddies in through the front door.

Bill Gates – I WISH I was like Zuck and spoke Chinese. Yep, I drink poo

Re: I've never understood @DropBear

Doesn't have to go to sleep for millions of years, Not unless it wants to go interstellar

Plenty of sunlight for electrons & material for spare parts right here in the solar system

I guess the assumption I'm questioning is that any given AI would want to rule over us like any other brain dead sociopath IE: Politician. It doesn't need to eat, fuck or climb the social ladder, so why assume it has our drives WRT to ruling the world?

I've never understood

The paranoia around strong AI

Why would such an entity want to hang around this dirt ball anyway. Lets face it Plenty of free energy & materials to build things in space. An AI won't give a fig about living in hard vacuum. Wanting to stick around just to subjugate us meatbags shows a distinct lack of imagination; Any AI doing so would be considered a distinct fail in the I bit of AI

Who's afraid of a virtual switch? Not big bad Brocade

Alas poor Vyatta

Get your fork on here http://vyos.net/wiki/Main_Page

VDI is heading for a minor DAAS-aster

> Pure-play DaaS is already handy for things like desktops for temps, the paper says, largely because it requires no capital expenditure.

Other than the screen, keyboard, mouse plus what ever connects those things to the local LAN

Or am I missing something?

MYSTERY RADIO SIGNAL picked up from BEYOND our GALAXY

[tight beam, M32, tra. @n4.28.885.1008]

xROU Killing Time

oGCV Grey Area

Hey ... wanna see the monkeys freak out?

Buggy? Angry? LET IT ALL OUT says Linus Torvalds

Re: I'm not nine

Agreed, utterly & completely

But as you say, the trick is to use that style of language at the right time for maximum effect.

Some of my workmates over the years have effed & Blinded every second word; sort of dulled the impact of the *censored* words in question.

I've always taken a twisted sense of pride in trying to get the same effect as swearing but with only "standard" descriptive language (it helps exercise the vocabulary). I was once oven able to make a co-worker blanch without a single foul syllable :)

MARS NEEDS BROADBAND, insists Elon Musk

Re: At last

Didn't one of the IP(v4) dads set out to design an "interplanetary" internet?

Personally I always thought that a bastardized version of Fido net(tm) would be a far better solution for such a high latency network. a 4 hour lag means hitting a website is impractical. Mail & file transfer is all you need in this case. Even Mars is what, a minimum delay of around 4 minutes and the maximum of around 24 minutes?

*sniff* ... Is it sad that I miss the sounds of zone mail hour? *WOOF*

Big Blue's biggest mainframe yet is the size of a fridge

Odd - redux

> "Never trust a computer that's too heavy to lift" - can't recall where I first saw that one, but it has served me well. ;)

I have the same policy with regards to girlfriends :)

Parliament face-sit-in to spark mass debate on UK's stiff smut stance

Re: Extreme Fisting

He was a Tory peer; Wasn't he?

Why blades need enterprise management software: Learn from Trev's hardcore lab tests

High hopes

Once upon a long time ago; when dinosaurs walked the earth

The was a project to opensource PC BIOSes, the original design was to do something similar to

SUNs OpenBoot (The FOSS one was OpenBIOS I think?).

The hope I had for this was... being able to talk to the BIOS firmware settings from the OS

Sadly, SUN, OpenBoot/BIOS all seem to be gone now

/me sad

400,000 Windows Server 2003 boxes face SUPPORT DOOM

Re: "...customers see the need to migrate"

> A server OS that requires a touchscreen? Are you sure you haven't been sold an iPad or something?

The brand name wasn't Etch-A-Sketch by any chance?

Brit smut slingers shafted by UK censors' stiff new stance

Re: Please oh Alien Overlords, save us from the madness!

> It's because of inanity like this and other things that just beggar belief

... things that just bugger belief

There fixed that for you

Thought tab sales were in the toilet this year? Hah! Wait for next

+1 for slablet

I hearby gnomeinate slablet as ElReg HR approved slango!

Feds dig up law from 1789 to demand Apple, Google decrypt smartphones, slabs

Old laws

I see a lot of scoffing at old laws (Burn the witch, burn the witch)

But; May I remind you that the law against murder is pretty old too

Yes, older that the USA even.

Perhaps the answer for apple/google/etc is to up-sticks & move to a country with freedom & proper laws and other silly little conveniences like that; I hear the the norks are looking for some tech help :)

ESA's spaceplane cleared for lift-off in February 2015

New machines

Many machines on Ix. New machines.

Greening the copper with NFV, lower power optics from GreenTouch

Hell no!

I'll keep the smarts to my home network where it belongs. Under MY thumb.

If you start letting the ISP/Carriers etc get more control over function & features, they will eventually fuck you with it.

Give me a big dumb internet that just whourks packets back & forth

Call of Duty, GTA V do not make youth more violent

> given how complex this area is and how hard to isolate

Easy ... in the last 20 years violence in society has been steadily dropping. In the last 20 years there has been a huge explosion in computer games; If video games make people violent then we would be seeing more violent crime not less

Re: Given my

I blame MechJeb

Pro-ISIS script kiddies deface West Yorkshire egg-chasers' site

I must be in the wrong place

I revere Beer & loose bacon :)

Schneier, Diffie, ex-MI5 bod, privacy advocates team up on Code Red

Re: Some Protips

I have a NSA free cloud service

it's called ownCloud

UNCHAINING DEMONS which might DESTROY HUMANITY: Musk on AI

Re: "Thou shalt not make a machine in the likeness of a human mind."

> you're all subjects of the Emperor now

The Emperor protects!

Caterham Seven 160 review: The Raspberry Pi of motoring

Ohio Superboard II

*SNIFF* My very first computer.

Shit I must be old .... when the fuck did THAT happen :)

Pay a tax on every gigabyte you download? Haha, that's too funny. But not to Hungarians

Re: So how long....

I like your idea! You could also surround Hungary with a forest of Wifi Antenna's & sell access to the poor impoverished Hungarians. That way you don't have to run in the fibre, which the H-Govt could "accidentally" dig up with their tanks^H^H^H^Hractors.

EU rules forbid anti-competitive behaviour no? Hungarian ISP's go belly up, H-Govt looses what little Corporation tax the ISP's deigned to pay

Win win really :)

Back to the ... drawing board: 'Hoverboard' will disappoint Marty McFly wannabes

The device emits a loud buzzing and crackling sound during operation.

How is that a downside?

Seems like a must have feature to me!

UNIX greybeards threaten Debian fork over systemd plan

Some good ideas in systemd ... but

I really don't like the one large monolithic monster app approach

I also miss being able to just tweak an init script to make it do what I want

I'd be willing to give that up if the flexibilty was provided some other way

Like many others I've only started looking at systemd

Like a new Doctor Who, I'm not sure if I'm going to like it or not, time will I guess tell

Space exploration is just so lame. New apps are mankind's future

Badges? .... We don't need no stinking badges!

Mainly cos I ain't got one :(

Ada Lovelace Day: Meet the 6 women who gave you the 'computer'

Utter rubbish

> Anyone these days can get access to a degree in software engineering

It was never ever about gender. It has always been about money

If you were a well off 18th century type, you got an education, otherwise not so much. If you were male you got to go to work (Yay weren't they lucky)

The systemic male oppression you speak of never really existed. It was rich vs poor and still is.

Martha Lane Fox: Yeuch! The Internet is made by men?!?

Re: Compulsory voting ...

I've always wondered what would happen if I started a "None of the above" political party

Greedy datagrabs, crap security will KILL the Internet of Thingies

The evil already walks among us.

Lot internet connection a week or two ago, and while the lnterwebs were down I tried to print from my phone(Android) to my Brother printer. Didn't think much of it as It's something I do from time to time, without much fuss

What I realised due to my net downtime, was the Brother app needs the internet to do it's thing!

Anything I print makes it's way out to Brother, gets rendered, then gets sent back to the printer

Cue much wailing and gnashing of teeth ... App deleted.

Something ate Google's 8.8.8.8 at about eight in Asia's evening

Re: I'm never buying Belkin network equipment ever

Hehe ... Initially read that as "Voodoo firmware tends to suck and Belkin is especially stupid."

Philip Morris seeks pay-per-puff patent to help you STOP smoking

Re: Once again the drug dealers attempt ...

@Elmer Phud

Mate ... Given the magnitude of your arsehole-ness; Don't go out when it too windy, you may well invert.

Want to see the back of fossil fuels? Calm down, hippies. CAPITALISM has an answer

Here is what I don't understand

We spend money on oil, that money goes to people who spend it on trying to kill us

If we placed say 5c tax/litre of fuel and spent it on getting industrial scale Thorium-MSR + Haber process

We would, cut the cash going to the people who fund the people who are trying to kill us

provide electricity, provide a locally made alternative to petrol, diesel & oil etc

Also means no retro-fit for our exiting vehicle fleet

Cheaper than another war; No?

Oracle: What's the X4-4? In-memory monster slams jaws down on 3TB, for starters

Re: Connect 100x86 servers

> BTW, there are no larger Linux servers than 8-sockets on the market

Linux will run on IBM Z series; No?

There is some really big tin being shipped these days

Got a couple of these at work http://www-03.ibm.com/systems/x/hardware/enterprise/x3850x5/specs.html

Apparently there is an interconnect that allows you to single image two chassis together (I assume NUMA)

So that is 4TB of ram & 160cpu threads

A moment of brilliance? UPnP for Internet of Stuff lightbulbs

Halloween Fun

Imagine being able to detect when the neighbour is facing the TV and slowly opening & closing the curtains, fridge door, cat flap etc .... Drive them mad/scare em shitless; fun for Halloween, not so much the rest of the year.

Security is going to be the issue when they finally get all this crap to talk amongst themselves.

I'd love to be able to get home & say "house lights on", but when the phone can't even get "ok google" right 50% of the time, I don't hold out much hope

Re: Making things simple....not

> My God! You see that as "progress"? If electronic equipment tracks me, hounds me, and nags me to do things, what will my wife find to do with her time?

The postman?

That glass of water you just drank? It was OLDER than the SUN

Well that explains

Budweiser

Bracelet could protect user herds from lurking PREDATORS

I wonder when

The bastards will give up all pretence and just chain their bloody workers to their desk like the boss wants