Posts by Dan

Met 'studies Chinese bugging tactics' for 2012 games

speechless

...and not because I'm a terrorist... just because.

Pioneer Kuro KRL-37V LCD TV

The real question...

The consensus, at least until recently, was that full-HD was useless on anything below 42 inches. Nevertheless, manufacturers across the board added it to various TVs because gullible people wouldn't touch buy unless it had a full complement of mystery acronyms.

The real question is whether this is worth the extra money over the Panasonic 37PX80 plasma. The Panasonic is considered a bargain at £600-700, not least because it manages to keep the price down by avoiding un-necessary spec add-ons.

Apple confirms $1bn data center

Not that bad

How many datacentres look ugly? The company I work for has several, and they just look like common office blocks, since to advertise otherwise would be unwise. Same for other companies I know of. As for local jobs, I'm guessing a $1bn DC is going to be, like, a tier 4 or something. That will require some fairly serious facilities for mains power, backup generators, comms links etc, so there will be some local jobs.

Wiltshire welcomes clutch of Great Bustards

Can I just say...

that I always welcome great-busted chicks.

Yes, the dirty mac. Cheers.

DARPA killer AI robots to 'participate in own construction'

Incorrect

"It might also be rather difficult to stop the process of building the SELF, once it had advanced beyond a certain point. Frankly the only way to be sure it can be stopped would seem to be to stop it now."

I say we take off, nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Oh, hang on, wrong film...

US firm says handheld puke ray is ready to go

2,400 metres?!

Who on earth needs to make me throw up from nearly 2.5 kms away?!

Anyway, isn't this a bit similar to, for example, watching Jason (of 'and the argonauts' fame - remember that?) fight medusa?! Or, the ace 'Blink' episode of Dr Who?

Audi working on electric R8?

Not with my money...

I'll have the V8 thanks.

Jobs sighted, reality distortion field primed for WWDC?

@Bradman Farknilly

Depends how much you like your cars. I'd rather you think I'm a prick for taking two spaces than ding my car door with yours because the spaces are a bit tight...

Vodafone does close-up magic on roaming charges

Only a good deal...

... in the same way that in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king

Stolen RAF files are blackmailer's dream

@Frank

I served in the RAF, and there were indeed standing orders (a standing order is not much different to a law in laymans terms) that commiting adultery with a colleague's partner (even if you yourself are single) is a no-no. Can't remember what the punishment was though.

It's all about morale, at the end of the day. I do recall that when I was in the Falklands (not for the conflict), someone on another squadron there was flown the 8.5k miles home sharpish because his missus was having it away with one of his colleagues. For morale reasons, it was all kept very hush-hush.

Chopper, obviously.

IR35 tax is a huge failure

Blimey...

The antipathy between permies and contractors is surprising. I used to be a contractor (and yes, I paid the tax hit), but by nature I can be a bit of a worrier about money, IR35, the next contract etc, as well as not being keen on working away from home any more (so reducing my versatility as a contractor), so it's better for me to be employed and get paid for holidays, sickness etc, particularly in the current economic climate. But jeez, guys, get over yourselves. You took your choice knowing the ins and outs of it, and even if you didn't you could always switch now if you're that jealous.

£9.2m over 5 years?!

So they collect enough annually to cover Michael Martin's pension?!

Bunch of jokers.

ISS re-wee tech triumph heralds golden showers in orbit

That machine...

...looks like something that Egon Spengler would store a class 4 fully-formed free-roaming ectoplasm in.

/nerd mode off

Toddler snaps up mechanical digger online

@jeffrey

Brilliant story!

Apple patents all-seeing display

Ugh

I like my new macbook, but I don't really like the sound of this.

<Tries to remember to add a bit of tape over the webcam to provide unauthorised activation - one thing going for Windows PCs was the fact that I never had a webcam>

'Better IT could have stopped 7/7 bombings'

Shock horror

Government report says that government could 'protect' us better with more invasive surveillance and the kind of pervasive systems that the spooks are after anyway.

In other news, the Pope was confirmed as a Catholic.

Hunt for MPs' expenses leaker hots up

Profit and altruism are not ALWAYS mutually exclusive

Just because the seller made a profit does not automatically mean they were motivated just by greed. I'd have looked for a hefty payment in his shoes, but I was also VERY keen on this data becoming public for the right reasons. If the MPs have their way, this person will be pursued to the ends of the earth for doing it, so some cash to enable the covering of tracks, a bit of travelling etc is perfectly reasonable.

If their identity is uncovered, s/he should be given a knighthood anyway.

Boffin builds better display from... a cuttlefish

Brilliant...

Not only does he come up with a new display technology for which the concept is so simple that everyone else overlooked it, but just to rub it in, he wants to enable kids to make them in Chemistry lessons!

Cover my car & house in this stuff for predator-like camoflage...

Hubble packing shiny new camera

Wow

Imagine having a day at the office like that.

IBM files patent for shorter meetings

Nice!

Only some einstein-haired brainiac at Big Blue could conceive of this AND think a patent would be a good idea. Genius.

Pi(Beard + Sandals) = tank top

2060: Humvee-sized, bulletproof meat-eating spiders attack

Roughnecks go!

Sounds like Starship Troopers, where's Denise Richards?! Sign me up.

This is only slightly more scientific than some of the Climate Change research I have seen. Well done.

Also, you want to be careful that this doesn't end up in national panic a la Daily Mail and swine flu.

US air traffic faces 'serious harm' from cyber attackers

Crazy

So they've got unpatched boxes connected to the web with easy admin passwords providing unfettered access to safety-critical kit, and they can still claim that Gary McKinnon is a cyberhacker-terrorist or whatever who's going down for 20 years? Sorry, but if they can't even take the time for basic due diligence or at least standard maintenance patching, then while a hacker is still breaking the law, these morons need to accept a large portion of the blame for unauthorised access incidents.

Aussie censors implement six degrees of separation policy

six degrees of separation...

...works for me, because they'll eventually end up blocking everything, which ought to make it blatantly obvious how unworkable the whole thing is.

Intel playing virtual silly buggers

Nice!

"It darn well should be and Intel should stop messing about."

I'm liking the impartial, 'facts-only' reporting style here!

Car-prang secretary bites off boss's todger

Sorry...

...but if the subject of the private dick in question, had indeed kept his dick a bit more private, this wouldn't have happened!

Seriously though, ouch!

I doubt it was a great day at work for the secretary either...

Apple brands UK tabloid 'obscene'

"New category in App Store..."

So does this mean the new parental controls will allow pr0n on the iphone?!

Kebabs pose 'no danger whatsoever', Russians claim

Yay for stu reeves

Hear hear, there's nothing better than a good steak burger from the butcher, with some Brie, cherry tomatoes and posh onion marmalade on a good quality bread bun. Stick your macdonalds where the sun don't shine!

Oompa-Loompa and Tinky Winky cuffed for drunken brawl

Re: Alze

Booooo

Playmobil fix needed!

Apple ponders quantitative easing for hard-up customers

Harumph

As much as I like my brand spanking new MacBook, I would have appreciated it being a little cheaper. Gits.

China launches DNA database to track trafficked kids

Hmmm

Anyone else notice how China's reasoning behind this (and the scope of the people whose DNA will be taken) appears to be way more rational than UK implementations? I mean, if you've got a child, and two sets of parents claiming to have borne the child, then a paternity test is realistic. If you are trying to match down those abducted kids to multiple parents over an extended period, then yeah, a database would appear to be appropriate. There's nothing to say that this would be any more secure than the nonsense they make of these things over here, or that they would delete records no longer required, but it still sounds more rational that wacqui jacqui's reasons.

Department of Homeland Security to destroy swine flu victims

Best. Typo. Ever.

Assuming it is a typo. Isn't it?

Hello?

Hello?

...

No-go woe for doughnut co after Vo-Vo blow

I only read this for the headline...

..absolute genius!

Swedish factory fined $3,000 for robot attack

playmobil, playmobil, playmobil!

Just do it already!

UK.gov to spend £2bn on ISP tracking

FOAD

That's all.

DARPA looking for mind-controlrepair brainplug tech

Speak English, boy!

Glad you included the el reg translations, because otherwise I wouldn't know what the hell they were on about. Could we control Wacki Jackboot Smith with it?

execute jackboot_cliffjump;

go

Microsoft records first ever revenue drop

@Edward Miles

Interesting comment you make. So, if someone comes up with a lightweight sandbox-type thingy, could you run 6 instances of it, each containing a different productivity application...? Then again, as already implied by others, the people with the inclination to run something like that would avoid starter edition in the first place...

Pirate Bay judge and pro-copyright lobbyist accused of bias

Jeez

I didn't follow this one too closely (I don't torrent my stuff), but this strikes me as such an obvious conflict of interest that the judge should be prosecuted for allowing all that time and private/public money to be spent on a trial which was fundamentally flawed. How could anyone possibly keep a straight face while denying a conflict of interest?

Big boost for Aussie firewall

Why?

Why would a particular ISP sign up for the pilot? ISPs are aware that this stands to cost an arm and a leg, potentially impact performance and place the onus of responsibility for policing the web (as perceived by Aussies) squarely onto them. So to make a company sign up, surely either a. political pressure is applied to the company or directors, b. gov subsidies to pay for it, or c. the offer of the equivalent of a knighthood or whatever to the head sheds. If any of these is true, it needs to be completely open and transparent. I always imagined that Oz would be a nice place to emigrate to, but not if Wacqui Jackboot's doppelganger has any influence over there, as appears to be the case.

Windows 7 Release Candidate coming 5 May

Too little too late

...as I am currently just making a final decision about my Macbook spec. I got some real time with one over the weekend, and finally see what all the fanboys have been raving about. Hell, my techno-phobe missus made her mind up in about 30 seconds when she realised how ridiculously easy everything was. Bye-bye Ballmer.

Lotus offers to end e-car silent running

Ooh yes

Cancel out:

Tyre rumble

Wind noise

That funny wind noise that cabbages your ears above about 50mph.

Leaving me with:

Normal engine noise

Nice whisper/whistle from the turbo

Normal exhaust note

That would sound awesome.

US Navy unveils superconductor 'cloaking device' destroyer

Damn...

Hoped I'd be the first to mention the Philadelphia Experiment!

Couldn't they get a similar effect by running a load of CRT monitors just inside the hull, and pressing all the degauss buttons at once?!

Tory terror police were 'fishing' for Liberty

Bad

'Disturbing' doesn't even cover it...

Wi-Fi Beeb viewing may break law

Oh please...

This is getting ridiculous. The idea that I could be fined for charging my mobile while round at a friend's home, just because they don't watch TV, is absurd.

Arizona teen's mobile shops him to cops

ROTM, of course!

Clearly, the newly self-aware Skynet detected the removal of part of it's distributed network (aka car radio), and used another part of it's network (the phone) to call the cops!

Where's the lizard army icon?

Data Centers get 'black box' flight data recorder

Hmm

When vendors talk about complete datacentre loss these days, the WTC towers are often referred to. In that instance, even assuming that this thing survived the blast, fire, drop x hundred feet, and crushing by debris, how long was it before it could have been located to retrieve the data, at least a couple of months wasn't it? Maybe I'm just thinking too extreme... impressive bit of kit though.

UKBA to exchange fingerprints with US

Oh FFS

So far I have managed to prevent the UK gov getting their grubby little mittens on my prints. However, I have been to the US, so they've got my prints from when I landed and wasn't a merkin. Does this now mean the UK gov will also have my prints?

If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear. That being the case, you can now post on the web a photograph of your 8-year-old, together with their name, school, time they walk home, route, and favourite sweets. No?

MEPs urge govs: Set up surveillance register

Lalalala we can't hear you

I wonder if the government will simply pretend to not have heard this one. You know, like they do when anyone, even a subject expert, says something they disagree with.

Microsoft plays coy over iPhone Office

Coming full circle

What's the chances that Office for the iphone will probably offer 95% of the functionality you need, and actually be a better package for a lower price than grown-up Office with all it's crazy add-ons and even more crazy price?

That said, I can't help thinking they're hinting at this early to hinder sales of Quickoffice while they get their act together....

Moderatrix quits El Reg: Latest

@If Bee doesn't return

"And further- why doesn't Bee get more actual news stories/analysis pieces to do? She was a great writer back at the Melody Maker- waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay above the Maker's usual standards (which were always better than the NME's), and I refuse to believe she couldn't contribute better than some of your other bods"

I had no idea she was already an experienced journo - what are el reg playing at then? Surely you can't expect her to stick at a job which only involves moderating crap comments? Give her some proper stuff to do.

Shame on you lot

Despite what would appear to be a genuine (and genuinely angry) rant from Sarah, there's still the moronic comments on this story about it being 'her time of the month'. Yeah, that's gonna make her job easy to come back to. Let's see who can push her out permanently. Way to go, guys.

It hadn't occurred to me how bad the nixed comments might actually get. I hope your rant was an April fool, Sarah.