Posts by Alexis Vallance

Intel chips get new logos, star treatment

Can't read em

Why is the 'i7' and '2' text so poorly visible?

It's hidden in the gloss reflection.

China bans YouTube again

PooTube

I know how they feel.

No music videos. Hasn't worked properly on my iPod Touch for 6 months.

It's turning into ebay - a bit pants.

Pot Noodle boils up instant doner kebab

D'oh

"And what are they doing bringing out a doner kebab flavour? How lazy do you have to be. If you want that authentic taste, go around to a kebab shop, where they cook it for you in the time it takes to boil a kettle."

The 'restaurant critic' doesn't seem to realise that none of this matters to a Pot Noodle customer!

Neither is the taste. It's just stomach bulk, which is fine!

Microsoft claims IE8 is 'a leap forward in web standards'

100% is possible though

"What most commenters don't realise (or just conveniently forget) is that many of the Acid3 tests are checking for compliance with *draft* specifications (CSS3, HTML5, etc) which will not be published 'standards' for a considerable time."

An alternative view would be that since one browser can get 100%, there really is no excuse for every browser (or its beta) to be able to do the same.

PC buyers fail to prove MS deceived in Vista 'Capable' suit

Stickers are naff

It always grates when I see people using laptops covered in stickers.

Ballmer hails Windows Mobile for Welfare™

Berk

He's a tool.

And he sounds like he needs a really big cough to clear his throat. His shrill voice does your head in.

Advertising watchdog okays 'gaming equals early grave' ad

Why?

What's the point anyway?

Everybody knows sitting around is bad and excercise is good.

No poster is going to create some sort of epiphany.

Mozilla hangs fire on Firefox 3.5 till June

lol

"Schtop! This browser is not ready"

made me laugh

iPod Touch torches tyke's trousers

£160,000k??

£160,000 is as greedy as f*ck.

£250 for a new iPod + £500 for his burn + costs is what he deserves.

'Talking' iPod Shuffle spills guts

Moan

As predicted, a moan after only the second post.

If you have your own, expensive headphones or are some of audiophile, why are you looking at a Shuffle anyway?

If you need anything more, get a Nano.

Apple Mac Mini (Early 2009)

Price

Great little machine, but £500 is simply too much.

Not many of these wil be leaving the Apple stores.

Microsoft claims Firefox- and Chrome-whopping IE8 speeds

More stats

I suspect MS just want to show that IE8 is faster than their big rival - Firefox. Chrome gets more 'greens', but look at the totals:

Chrome: 107.85secs

Firefox: 95.62 secs

IE: 88.3 secs

So, that gives an average of:

Chrome: 4.314

Firefox: 3.825

IE: 3.532

Apple 24in iMac (March 2009)

Prices

"The iMac is £949, take VAT away from that and it's £808.

£808 is the same as $1137, this is the UK price.

$1199 is the US price.

The new iMac is cheaper in the UK than it is in the US. Yes, cheaper."

Remember you're looking at the low end 20" iMac - the one that used to be £780 inc VAT. Now it's £949.

Good and bad

Fantastic machine, but the price rise is inexcusable. Generally a £200 price rise across the board - appalling. Better GPUs would welcome and why no high end 20"?

This is just a stop gap update before the i7 iMacs, which may come before the end of the year.

Glad I bought mine in 2007 when prices were respectable.

Dell launches well 'ard laptop

Fugly

Are you sure it's a special rugged laptop?

Looks like a run of the mill ThinkPad to me!

Drunk sorority girls quaff booze 'to impress boys'

USA

They have a different drinking culture over there anyway though.

3 bottles is a heavy session over there.

YouTube blocks music videos in UK

Does it make any difference?

People will just continue to upload them themselves. They'll probably make more of a concerted effort now actually.

Fanbois will abandon iPhone for Palm, says Wikisugardaddy

What an oddball

He seems to under the notion that people don't like the iPhone and will be only too happy to get rid of it once their contract is up.

Which is so far off the truth it's bizarre.

Nude Apple iMac pics leaked to web

No messing

I used to upgrade my PC every few years. Changing mobos, installing new processors etc etc.

Now I just sell my iMac every couple of years on ebay (they go for shi*tloads second hand) and just buy the latest iMac for a couple of hundred quid.

Nice and easy.

Wouldn't work with a depreciation disaster PC though. They're worth jackshi* after a few months.

Apple Mac-sprucing bores fanbois

They're not giving cars away for free

"Do I really need to dignify that with a response?

Have you visited any dis-used airfields recently - they are all full to bursting point with unsold cars. On that basis, ANY price rise is a shock."

Will they sell to you at a loss? I think not. If you want a shiny new 09 plate Fiesta you will be paying more today than for a 58 plate 6 weeks ago. All for the same economic and exchange rate reasons mentioned. The point being that they're pricier, not 30% higher, as are the Macs.

Who's the dumbass?

"Apple's price hikes are pretty much in line with everyone elses. If Dell and HP are having to increase the cost of their machines, why do you think Apple can somehow be immune to the same market forces? The recession is forcing the prices rises, dumbass."

Please explain how cars increased by 'only' about £250 - £500 last month.

Apple updates full desktop Mac line-up

Don't do it

The only way to get Apple to lower those prices is if nobody buys one.

Boycott Apple everyone!

(I love Apple, but they're taking the piss with these charges)

Price decrease????

What price decrease? I could get a 20" iMac for £750 before. Now it's £950.

Debt collection can be harassment, rules court

Is it any wonder?

Bill apparently unpaid. 'Debt' passed onto debt collector. Debt collector just writes letters to try and scare you into paying.

Debt collectors are just private companies with no special powers. They merely write letters.

They are just a way to avoid British Gas taking anyone to court.

Fair enough if you don't owe anything and can get some compensation. But practically, just ignore the junkmail.

Private parking companies use the same tactics, but the difference being that there is no debt in the first place.

MS warns testers to activate Windows 7 beta

Blah blah

Here we go.

I don't know why people bother with such a deplorably patronising company who churn out nothing but broken crap and happily criminalise their customers.

Enjoy your shiny 2009 versions of Windows 95 people. The world has moved on.

Pirate Bay prosecutors get jiggy with charge sheet - again

Tools

"All components are necessary for users of the service are able to share files with one another"

Er, apart from Bit Torrent software.

Eircom to block Pirate Bay

Oh dear

Eircom could be losing a few customers then.

Next-gen Mac mini 'photo' surfaces

All makes sense to me

Seems feasable to me (although I'd expect to be seeing black plastic, not white).

There's a recession therefore companies don't release products is a load of rubbish. Chances are Mini sales have been declining due to its age and need for a refresh. People seem to have no problem buying iPhones, iPods and MacBooks!! Are they going to leave the Mini as it is until 2010 / 2011? I think not.

2gig sounds reasonable. RAM costs peanuts and it is 2009.

The display ports sound genuine to me. A lot of people use the Mini as a media device, which is something Apple might not have expected at the start. Serving them with the extra port seems like a good idea to me.

Irish cops tripped up by Prawo Jazdy dragnet

Irish

Is the same detective who did so well at not finding Shergar involved I wonder?

If you saw Harry Hill the other week, you'll know what I'm on about!

Pirate Bay prosecutor tosses infringement charges overboard

@Bobby

You're missing the point. They're not exchanging pirate material, whatever you think (or they declare) their intentions to be. It's everybody else who's doing the exchanging.

I can't be charged with murder if I go outside, shout "I'm going to murder Mr Smith" but don't actually murder anyone. Maybe threatening behaviour, but not murder.

Devil

"The Pirate Bay hosts torrent files and trackers to facilitate P2P file exchange. They decide what torrents are available on their site and trackers. The Pirate Bay is not a technology; it is not the photocopier, the VCR or the BitTorrent protocol."

I believe the point is that they don't host the actual copyrighted material. The key word is 'facilitate'. A torrent file is just a signpost to copyrighted material. Whether they decide what 'signposts' they display is not relevant really. Whether they 'solicit' for cash isn't relevant, as isn't 'condoning' or 'turning a blind eye'.

Forget Google, it's YouTube that actually host and make available copyrighted material. But if YouTube just pointed to videos hosted elsewhere it would be a different matter.

Woman sues over Vista to XP 'downgrade' charge

Idiotic woman

Whether it's an up or downgrade is irrelevant. It's a new product.

I wouldn't expect to buy a BMW 3 series, downgrade to a 1 series and expect to get the 1 for nothing and keep both!!

Apple fights iPhone unlocking (again)

Irrelevant

It's all fairly irrelevent anyway. If you're one of the 5% of fools who prefers messing with the thing instead of using it, having it broken every time there's a new Apple update, and having your warranty void, you deserve whatever you get.

Hackintosh maker lands Apple punch

Psystar - no chance

How can a product which only works if you alter the code ever be legal?

OS X only works on Psystar's machines because various parts are hacked.

Worst case scenario is if Psystar wins, OS X will become even more locked out to non-Apple machinery. Component ID codes etc.

And then the only way for Psystar to install it would be with some serious hacking, which in turn would be even more of a copyright infringement. And the next round of court action would begin.

The only way Psystar will win is it is ruled that Apple must open up OS X to work on all machines. After all sorts of high court appeal, even then I doubt Apple will go out of its way to make OS X work on non-Apple hardware. Quite the opposite.

Parcelforce website cold-shoulders Linux lovers

No surprise

I'm surprised they have a website at all. They still run the company like it was 1988 and make no money anyway.

Windows 7 UAC vuln not a vuln, MS repeats

Genius!

"UAC in Vista is annoying enough to some users that they turn it off. Microsoft have introduced a slider so that you can progressively make it more/less annoying/secure. The default is a halfway house between annoying and secure.

If you're worried about security, you can turn the slider up. If you're not, you don't care. More options are good, no?"

So you can have annoying and moderately unsecure, insanely annoying and secure or completely unsecure, which would lead to insanely annoying when your machine is trashed.

Where can I buy this fantastic bit of software?

Recession prompts job cuts at PC World call centres

Zzzz

Ironically, I bet you now get through fairly quickly.

No doubt it'll be back to 15 mins in the queue when they ditch the jobs.

Windows 7 UAC flaw silently elevates malware access

Here we go again

So, another version of Windows which is about as secure as the last. Which is as secure as Windows 95.

Microsoft will never ever release an OS which is just secure out of the box.

Mac flirts with 10 per cent web share

Sigh

What do you guys take people for?

The scenario of a Windows user being tricked into downloading and installing Safari is slim enough.

But actually then using it to surf the web? Are you syaing there are people out there using it thinking they're running some new version of IE or something???

"Something tells me that's not market-share, it's just Windows is shit."

+1

Windows 7 UAC shutoff 'bug' leaves Microsoft unmoved

Get a job

"Apple PCs are bought by people with more money than sense, who actually think that they are being trendy and ‘making a statement’ by buying some overpriced white tat. "

If you pass your exams and get a good job Son, you too can afford some nice expensive kit. In the meantime, I'd ask your parents for more pocket money.

I'm a sceptic now, says ex-NASA climate boss

@Wonderkid

No offence, but unfortunately personal memories aren't always good indicator of short term climate. The 70's actually saw a run of very mild winters (apart from 78/79) - the 80's did see some cold seasons though. True, the 90's saw some extremely mild years and winters, but we've recently seen two below average summers on the trot and there has been a clear cooling trend since May 2007. This winter will likely see three below average months in a row, which is noteworthy after the last decade.

Time to axe Microsoft's Zune

@ Robert Long

The reasons why the Walkman died aren't really relevant to the iPod. The WM was a good brand in its day, but cassettes were on their way out. So they came up with the Mini Disc, but nobody was interested.

The only way the iPod will run into problems is if digital music becomes obsolete. I can't see that happening any time soon, and the iPod is in a far better position to evolve than Sony ever was.

I'm not sure about "the iPod is just a brand with no compelling reason to buy". Come on - the iPod Touch is THE best music player on the market. No question.

Don't turn your nose up at branding - branding is everything in this market, but when it's coupled with good products it's unstoppable. People may complain about the price and following the crowd, but the iPod lineup is made up of very very good products.

Microsoft's IE 8 beta adds 'special' list

MS at it again

This begs the question how can Firefox and Safari display sites that 'are' and 'aren't' compliant with very little problem and without you even being aware?

25 years of Mac - the good, the bad, and the cheese grater

Real computers

I just seem to remember Apple Macs being merely a rare oddity before the 1998 iMac arrived. In the late 80's, it was the Commodore 64 and Spectrum that were king, and the Amiga in the early 90's.

Whilst these 25 year nostalgic articles are nice, it's only Apple's success today which means they have any relevance. Don't get me wrong, I have a Mac and love it, but I'd rather read about the history of Commodore or Sega than irrelevant niche machines from back in the day.

New OS X research warns of stealthier Mac attacks

Yawn

"It's only a matter of time".

People have been saying that for 8 years now. Still nothing's happened.

Researcher warns of data-snooping bug in Apple's Safari

Rubbish

"For the time being, it's probably a good idea for Windows users with Safari installed to leave it closed and use a different browser."

What a load of a cobblers. Using IE instead is like jumping from the luke warm frying pan into the burning fires of hell.

Virus writer signs off in cordial Trojan message to MS

Aww

Aww, bless 'im and his little cotton socks.

Tosser.

LG KC870 cut-price 8Mp cameraphone

8mp

8 megapixels is redundant if it's not coupled with a decent lens.

Ballmer tries to breathe life into Yahoo! deal

Live Search

Nobody uses Live Search because it's a facsimile of Google.

It didn't used to be and nobody used it because of the clutter. So they tried to 'Google-ise' it, which is all well and good, but then why would you use it instead of Google?

Google got there first because it's simple - a box on a white page is all you need. They all try something different every now and again - look at Ask as an example. Except that they've had to go back to the Google style because nobody wants to spend their life messing about on a fancy search engine.

MS are terrible at innovating. Their only way of getting anywhere in the search engine 'market' is to buy up competitors and become hapy with playing second (instead of third or fourth) fiddle to the market leader. Like the Zune. Like the XBox.

ITV to write down Friends Reunited value, says report

Worth anything?

Is FU really worth anything at all??

Facebook serves the same purpose, but is better at it and completely free.

I'm surprised FU is still going.