* Posts by Alexis Vallance

246 publicly visible posts • joined 17 Apr 2008


ISPs failing 13m Brits on broadband speed, claims consumer group

Alexis Vallance

I'm 5 minutes walk from Deansgate in Manc city centre. I can only get 2.5meg because the exchange is about 2 miles away.

Apple's GOLDEN BLING MOBE still the top selling US handset

Alexis Vallance

Re: I would if I could...

It's lighter because it's made of flimsy plastic

'Microsoft Word is a tyrant of the imagination'

Alexis Vallance

Word is appalling, complicated bloatware. By trying to give you the options to 'create' a document, it just ends up overwhelming everybody.

So called professional programs such as InDesign and Quark are actually a hell of a lot easier to use and much more user friendly.

New iPhones: C certainly DOESN'T stand for 'Cheap'

Alexis Vallance

We get this every 2 years. Odd years are the .5 releases, which are never that exciting. If you're on a 2 year contract between even years you get to take advantage of the main releases.

Looking forward to the iPhone 6 next September.

Apple: iOS7 dayglo Barbie makeover is UNFINISHED - report

Alexis Vallance

Computer manufacturer in beta release shocker

The UK's copyright landgrab: The FAQ

Alexis Vallance

Re: Live concerts

"a) no one can object to their registered work being licensed at a fee set by a central body - even if they disapprove of the advert/political use it will promote."

Copyright still belongs to the original owner though. This doesn't alter.

b) a bootlegger can claim copyright to an unauthorised recording/photograph - and publish it. A digital search will always show no official original as they will be unregistered by the performers. Even an official recording of the same event will have a different audio/digital signature when compared to contemporary bootleg ones. What rights have the performers to effect a "take down"?

By claiming copyright he would have to demonstrate due diligence in attempting to locate the original recording or photo.

If you make a copy, or near copy, of someone else's recording, you will still have breached copyright. The only exception would be if the original owner could not be located and you could demonstrate due diligence in your efforts. I suspect this would only apply to very old recordings, not a rip of a JLS performance you've made.

Plusnet's 'Everyone's a winner' claim is a plus-sized whopper

Alexis Vallance


ASA politely asks company not to run advert again in its current form 6 months after the event, despite the company having no intention of running it again anyway

As usual.

iPhone 5: skinny li'l fella with better display, camera, software

Alexis Vallance

Re: And?

Exactly. I'm out of a 24 month contract this month and considering I can unlock and sell my original 4 on ebay for £200, it would daft not to carry on with my £30 a month and get a 5.

HSBC brands EVERY Apple iPhone 'an insecure PC'

Alexis Vallance

I get this on Mac OS X too.

Second win for Apple as Galaxy Nexus sales banned in US

Alexis Vallance

Re: Ye gods.

Evidence is looked at in the injunction application. That's the whole point of an injunction - swift action, based on preliminary evidence and subject to a substantial fee for the Claimant.

UK websites: No one bothers with cookie law, why should we?

Alexis Vallance


Considering the lack of enforcement of websites that breach of the 2006 Companies Act by failing to disclose the registered name, number, registered address and VAT number, this mickey mouse ruling will similarly be ignored by the majority.

Tsunami Trojan: First Mac attack based on Linux crack

Alexis Vallance

Daily Mail

Why is the Reg regurgitating commercial press releases and calling them news?

BT gets 14 days to block Newzbin2

Alexis Vallance


Surely anyone savvy enough to use Newzbin would be savvy enough not to be with BT Broadband?

Linehan turns IT Crowd off but NOT on again

Alexis Vallance

24 episodes? That's like a WHOLE SERIES in America!

Jurassic Park Ultimate Trilogy Blu-ray disc set

Alexis Vallance

It still amazes me how the CGI dinosaurs from Jurassic Park (1993) look so much better than the crap ones on the BBC's dinosaur programmes.

Ten reasons why you shouldn't buy an iPhone 5

Alexis Vallance

1. No Swappable Battery

Personally I don't need to swap the battery and it would mean replacing the glass back with some crappy plasticky hatch.

2. No Memory Card Slot

Ditto, 16Gb is fine for me.

3. Buying iPhones Encourages The Walled-Garden Business Model

I really don't care what impact buying a product has on the industry as a whole.

4. Not Actually That Great As A Phone

This doesn't even make sense. As a 'phone' for making calls, or as a 'smartphone' ie. as a computer?

5. Scarcely Marks You Out As One Of The Cognoscenti

If everybody drove Ferrari's would you still not want one?

6. Stephen Fry Likes It

I assume you had this when you were scraping the barrel at 10, but moved it to 6 to try and hide it?

7. Very, Very Expensive For What It Is

£99 and £35 a month (on 3) isn't expensive. It's not 2007 when the 1G came out any more.

8. Antenna is Badly Designed

I honestly have never ever had any problem with the antenna. I'm not left handed, where it might be an issue, but it's not an issue.

9. You Don't Get Much Screen Considering How Big It Is

True, but the resolution is so high, it doesn't feel small.

10. If You Must Buy One, For Pity's Sake Not Now

Who cares though? If you really really want one, just get one. It's not a fridge-freezer purchase.

BT bitchslapped for misleading 'Join now' Infinity ad

Alexis Vallance

Waste of space

As usual, the ad that has been ruled on finished running weeks ago.

What IS the point of the ASA?

Sky wins TV riot battle

Alexis Vallance
Thumb Up


Yep, got all my info from Sky and Twitter last night. The BBC were useless.

Mac Trojan uses Windows backdoor code

Alexis Vallance

@ cap'n

"People with Macs are curiously proud of their stupidity in paying three times as much for a machine largely based on it being a bit shinier than the standard market fare. "Look how shiny and beautiful it is!"

The thing is though, it seems I am considerably richer than you.

As for Fortune 500 companies, nobody is going to sign off $100,000 of kit when you can get cheap PCs for nowt. You'd also need new staff who are trained in how to use OS X. Where are you going to find them?

By your logic, you'd have to say Rolls Royces were crap because DHL don't use them for deliveries.

Sony PlayStation Network vs MS Xbox Live

Alexis Vallance


XBox Live is the worse service I think I've ever come across.

Let's start from the beginning.

I use a PC for games. Therefore I use Games For Windows Live.

I buy new machine and put Windows 7 on it. I install F1 2010.

• I get a box asking for my WindowsLive ID.

• I put my details in and the game installation closes and a browser window appears showing XBox Live

• I put my email and password in the box

• I get given a new gamertag tied to my existing email address and password

• Result: F1 2010 says I can't use it because my CD key is ties in with an account I CAN NO LONGER GET INTO

• I try to get on the Games For Windows Live forum.

• I go through a multitude of pages - one minute it's Windows, the next minute it is Games for Windows.

• Cannot get on the forum because it says I have no gamertag (I'm logged in at the top)

• Following the instructions just takes me to XBox Live crap

• I fine other people on the internet have the same problem.


• A moderator on one of Microsoft's million other forums helpfully states that you should post on the VERY FORUM YOU CAN'T GET ONTO how to get on the forum

So I try calling them.

• I go on the Games for Windows page.

• I get a phone number and call it.

• It is the XBox number. The person on the phone is completely confused when I talk about Games for Windows Live. She goes to get a manager. She says she can't help. I ask who should I talk to? She says she has no idea.

I post my problem on the XBox forum and Windows Live ID forum

• I get told to call the number again

I call the number and pose as an Xbox user.


• They suggest resetting my password. Doesn't help, just creates a whole new gamertag.


Anyone know the best address in the UK to sue Microsoft? I want to file a MoneyClaim.gov online claim. There seem to be two main addresses in the UK - Manchester and Reading. Which one should I go for to try and reclaim the £29.99 I had to pay for a new copy?

BT shields gentle customers from Min of Sound pirate raids

Alexis Vallance


Send out letters demanding a make-believe figure and sit back as 30 or 40% of people fall for it and send off cheques.

It's no different from private parking company scams, except instead of the DVLA providing addresses, it's ISPs.

Considering it costs £30 to bring a small claims case, MoS would have to cough up £750,000 just to instigate action against these internet customers. And that doesn't include costs.

They would then have to prove demonstrable loss, which would be about £5 for a CD. Nowhere near their £350 figure, which is arbitrarily plucked out of the air.

Much easier to just send out threatening letters and make some cash in a little scam.

If you get one of these begging letters, simply ignore.

Second piracy threat lawyers withstand DDoS attack

Alexis Vallance


I wonder how many people caved in to these scumbags unenforceable demands?

I'm surprised nobody took THEM to court.

Of course, they never took anyone to county court in the end. They would have to prove actual losses incurred. About £8 for downloading a music CD - nowhere near £500!

Extreme porn law on the ropes

Alexis Vallance


How come the CPS and police are wasting time on stuff like this?

My mate's bike was stolen on Sunday and saw it advertised on Gumtree. The police couldn't have had an easier crime to solve, yet they did fuc* all apart from send a letter commiserating him for his emotional turmoil.

Terence Conran slams 'appalling' Olympic mascots

Alexis Vallance
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Fair enough they didn't want a furry animal, but they just look really unrefined.

The single eye doesn't work - even less so when the pupils are so small, as if they're having a light shone at them.

Don't mind the idea of a drop of steel from the stadium, but the resulting characters just seem a bit amateurish.

Normal Human Being™ reviews the iPad

Alexis Vallance


It's a tablet, not a laptop.

Silly woman.

O2 claims win in UK mobile broadband speed test

Alexis Vallance

City living does not equal speed

I'm on O2, live near centre of Manchester and only get 2.6meg.

Blackfriars serves the top end of Deansgate but everybody at the bottom has crap speeds because we're far from any exchange.

Google chief: Only miscreants worry about net privacy

Alexis Vallance


There's nothing wrong with leaving the house, buying some milk, taking out the rubbish and mowing the lawn.

Doesn't mean I want somebody watching and taking notes.

Idle wild: how Intel's mobile Core i7 speeds up to slow down

Alexis Vallance


Sounds more like they underclock under normal circumstances and return to normal speed when needed.

The turbo boost sounds more like a marketing gimmick to me - 'slows down to cool down' won't sell as many chips!

Ageing Google supersizes its search box

Alexis Vallance


Looks crap. Thought there was something wrong with my browser at first.

Xbox 360 'least reliable' console

Alexis Vallance
Gates Horns

No thanks

Which is why I would never buy a 360. I don't think there has ever been such an unreliable, badly made console.

Apple-apeing Microsoft spins out retail store prototype

Alexis Vallance

Birthday parties

I can only summise that anyone who wants a birthday party at a Microsoft store would either have no friends, or would lose them pretty quickly with the suggestion.

Microsoft apes Spotify with ad-stuffed tune streaming

Alexis Vallance
Gates Horns

Same old same old

Is there nothing they won't copy?

Think of something new lads. It's pathetic.

NHS Direct gets to be number one, one, one

Alexis Vallance


What's the point of NHS Direct? They only ever tell you to go and see a doctor.

Orange UK exiles Firefox from call centres

Alexis Vallance

Not a 'fine'

"I'm pretty sure companies are legally not allowed to "fine" their employees, or even to threaten them with fines!"

No private company has any power in law to issue fines. They can only recoup actual losses.

Whether they could prove fixing any problems would cost the me £250 would be a problem for them. They certainly would not be permitted to remove it from salary.

Not sure what damage installing Firefox could do anyway.

Microsoft distances self from IE 8 puke ads

Alexis Vallance


The horrendous 'I am a PC and I'm only 8' adverts make me puke on a regular basis.

Especially the one with the girl making a slideshow of her sister. Nauseating.

Speculation mounts over AVG plans for OS X client

Alexis Vallance


Yawn. Yawn. Yawn.

Market share blah more users blah been saying same thing for 8 years blah.

Getting boring guys. This thread is just full of the self rightous who like nothing more than to proclaim the end is nigh.

Europe won't pay more for Windows 7. Really!

Alexis Vallance

Any more than $29 is too expensive

OS X Leopard v2: $29

Windows Vista v2: $50 - $319

Pirate Bay sells out to Swedish software firm for $7.7m

Alexis Vallance

Fuss over nothing

Am I only person who thinks TPB wasn't actually that good??

THere are far more torrents on BTJunkie and Demonoid.

HSBC online banking goes off the wall

Alexis Vallance


No problems for me on there at 9pm last night.

Is your cameraphone an oxymoron?

Alexis Vallance
Thumb Down

The Palm is AWFUL

Never mind the colour balance issues, isn't the main problem with the Palm the fact the photos look like they've had the Photoshop watercolour filter applies to them?

They look terrible.

Brits can't tell their heart from their elbow

Alexis Vallance
Dead Vulture


"I can't think of any day to day reason why i'd *need* to know where my internal organs are. Although i have a fair idea from school. I don't need to tell a doctor i've got a pain in my kidneys, i tell the doctor where the pain is in relation to things i do know and they tell me what's causing it, thats what they're there for."

That's disturbing. It's a life skill knowing where at least some of the important organs are located.

Regarding kidneys, it's pretty obvious when they are tender, often because you're dehydrated. In your case, you'd be trudging off to the doctors, pointing out where it hurts and being told to go home and drink more fluids.

Windows 7 boss predicts 'modest' initial shipments

Alexis Vallance

Snow Leopard

Surely if Vista Attempt 2 is more than $29, it will be too expensive?

Apple takes Snow Leopard for walk

Alexis Vallance
Jobs Halo


"If MS tried charging $30 for these minor enhancements, they'd be laughed at (or sued!). Yet Apple seem able to charge for anything (like $10 or whatever for iPhone 3.0 OS for iPod Touch - yet free fro iPhone users)."

And what is Windows 7 if it isn't Vista SP3?

eBay wins French luxury counterfeit case

Alexis Vallance
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Ebay don't police their site properly

Ebay don't care anyway.

Most of the razor blades on there have been nicked from shops.

I've also seen poached plants on there - ebay don't do anything when you tell them.

Intel says new PCs will cost you nothing

Alexis Vallance


PC in 2009: £800

PC on ebay in 2012: £200

Mac in 2009: £1100

Mac on ebay in 2012: £600

Apple slices retail staff as sales slide

Alexis Vallance
Thumb Down

Price rises

Nothing to do with hiking prices by about £200 per Mac?

Oh no, of course not.

Darling points at silver lining, floats investment in broadband

Alexis Vallance
Thumb Up


Thumbs up for the scrappage scheme.

I have a ten year old car, so if I can get a loan for £5k I'll be looking at getting a £7k 1 year old car in Jan or Feb!

Businesses will postpone Windows 7 rollouts

Alexis Vallance


"This too offered nothing to corporate users because not only does the new interface require vast investments in new hardware but it requires that their users (users who have spent 5+ years using XP and have long forgotten how to adapt to new interfaces) will require retraining."

To be honest, I'd expect someone who works with Windows all day to pick up a new UI pretty darn quick. That was the problem with Vista ironically - it's actually so similar to XP, you're left feeling shortchanged. £200 for a reskinned XP isn't good value for money.

UK police bust lottery scam centre in Somerset

Alexis Vallance
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How is this different from private parking companies who dupe victims into paying with their unenforceable invoices?

Oh yes, silly me. The DVLA makes £6m a year selling addresses to anybody at £2.50 a pop.

iPhone's Wi-Fi problems cause heated speculation

Alexis Vallance


Odd that there's no mention of the iPod Touch.