Posts by Shady

Irish board hack prompts password reset

Password changed, just...

..to be sure.

Sorry

SFO abandons case management IT

Only 1.3 mil?

I thought government IT projects were only abandoned once they'd hit at least 8 zeroes?

In this resepect, although certainly not a success, it's could be considered a 'reasonable' failure.

Sorry, I can't refrain any longer - WHAT A FUCKING WASTE OF MONEY

<-- Because people in gov obviously don't know any

Freed Peter Moore will be 'paid in full' for time as Iraq hostage

My employer...

...would have fired me for the unauthorised absence.

China moves closer to a smut-free internet

I thought...

..we already did that? As long as said government was sitting on a bazillion barrels of oil...

UK judges reject Lucas' appeal in Star Wars helmet case

Isn't the UK already bankrupt?

TB and GB made sure of that

Google demos image rec 'quantum computer'

But can it...

...recognize privacy concerns? Or this emoticon? ..|..

Coldplay flog kit on eBay

Oh FFS...

...I can't *believe* that Chris Martin has done something for which I can't hold him in 100% contempt.

Morrisey has yet to redeem himself however, so I still have something to vent my spleen at.

And I know I used a double negative, and if you bring me up on it you'll be so not a complete non-tosser

Eggheads solve England penalty-shootout crapness riddle

England footballers so rubbish at penalty shootouts...

...because they are shit at football

Testimony spills messy details in eBay-Craigslist squabble

So...

..a company which hosts a lot of private sexual ads is suing a company with a load of disreputable auctioneers and trash listings.

Sounds like the definition of "tit for tat" to me.

<---- blow 'em all up and be done with 'em

Revolutionary triangular-key keypad out on Android

@Is there a demo?

Yeah, just has the 'E' key disabled... ;)

iTunes gifts Blighty 12 freebies of Christmas

To the melody of....

On the twelfth day of Christmas,

Steve Jobs gave to me.

Some shit MP3's

And they weren't even DRM free....

Gov confirms plans for Sky box in charge of your house

Gas cut off problem solved...

...two sequential valves - both cutting out when the supply is cut off, but after the supply is restored remotely (via the first valve) the second valve has to be reset by hand.

Having said that, the contract for performing this simple feat of engineering will go to the lowest bidder, who will then outsource the contract to a factory in China, building them for a couple of quid a piece.

The Chinese will not miss that trick and will embed a backdoor in the firmware, meaning they will just switch off every power supply to every military computer in the country seconds before launching the biggest fucking attack in history.

Or something like that.

In principle, this technology should offer amazing benefits to the consumer (on a price comparison site? click 'switch' and it's done - in real time, or an 'Economy7' like scenario - setup a schedule to switch suppliers if they have different tariffs for peak / off peak)

In practice, there will be abso-fucking-lutely no two way benefits - this will strictly benefit the supplier, and only the supplier. They are not seriously going to spend money in order to give US more control over our utilities.

Microsoft hit with lawsuit over Xbox memory card ban

@Who Microsoft?

Microsoft trying to own a market... that they created, advertised, paid for, copyrighted, patented and forced absolutely nobody to use..... besides which, it's a sub-market - they don't own the *console* market, not even close.

If you want to use third party hw with your console, buy a PS3. Now THAT'S ironic given Sony's history.

The xbox is NOT an open source system - if I'd created a console system designed to make me money using closed source / propietary systems, I'd be pissed if someone was selling 'unauthorised' peripherals and stealing profit from me having invested little or no R+D cash of their own. And so would anyone else who'd invested tens, possibly even hundreds of millions in their console, too.

Erotica 09: Bit limp, but crowds still up for it

"...Frayed around the edges..."

Surely, "Flayed around the edges?"

Thumbs up, but perhaps a good finger might be better

Vampires not good role models for Catholics, declares Vatican

Trade Descriptions Act

They aren't Vampires in Twilight, just incredibly strong emo's - and since an emo is just a lazy goth I suppose that doesn't work either....

Brazilian Playboy eyes miniskirted uni student

Mission Accomplished

Next non-IT totty related story please

Paris wouldn't be caught in *anything* longer than a Mini skirt

H Ross Perot Jr fails to grab rhino by the horns

@Perhaps

He should be let loose in Africa with no weapons of any kind.

After being daubed in antelope pheromones

In a reservation populated by half-starved Lions

Backdoor in top iPhone games stole user data, suit claims

Zombies Live...

...isn't that an oxymoron?

Gravestone, obviously....

Games developers demand tax breaks

I am a non-games c# developer

I want a tax break too, or I am emigrating.

A phone in every car gains hard-won GSMA support

It baffles me.....

....that the UK is holding out on cost / value / effectiveness grounds, but is pressing ahead with ID cards.

Would it be because UK MP's have no holdings in the firms required to produce the technology - so there's nothing for them to trouser?

Where's the "clammy hand grasping after a bundle of bank notes" icon?

Super-soldier exoskeletons ready for troop tests in 2010

I always wanted to join the army....

...but being a fat unhealthy lazy bastard always got in my way - but not any more!

The next generation of GI Joes are all going to look like Tron man!

Morrissey tells netdepressives to boycott his re-releases

Works both ways...

...boycott his records if he doesn't get royalties - and boycott them if he does. For being a pretentious whining cock.

He probably set this up years ago just so he could have SOMETHING, ANYTHING to whine about after the Tories were gone.

The miserable bastard.

<-- Wot, no commie icon?

Reg reader captures Perseid meteor

@Doomongering

Surely, with doods?

Cats mix baby 'cry' with purr to score dinner

Cats are Bastards

Well, mine always have been.

My 18 y/o moggy employs this trick. The other (recently deceased) bastard just drew blood until he got his way.

Baby Shakergate: Apple officially sorry

I think....

...the developers of this app did so not to make money but to expose the absurdity of the app store vetting and censoring process.

In that respect it has been a real success.

Ex-Star Wars boffins build mosquito-blasting raygun

Is the replacement metaphor....

...for "a sledgehammer to crack a nut" ?

UK IT should 'fire men first', says Kate Craig-Wood

That's because...

...women spend 23% of their time at work doing their nails, talking about last nights episode of "Celebutard Housewives", spreading malicious rumours about the boss etc, etc.

Three months on, you still can't get off the DNA database

Proof...

...that the UK governement does *not* blindly implement every little sodding law that comes out of Brussels.

I'm getting my coat, packing my bags and leaving this country for one with less of an Orwellian governent. Like Russia.

Coming soon: Pills to 'turn down' your ears at clubs

Don't teenagers...

...already have a more advanced ability genetically encoded into their DNA, they selectively activate it when parents / teachers / authority figures are talking to them?

Tesla takes Top Gear test to task

Brake Failure

I wouldn't worry about the brakes just not working after a blown fuse.

I'm pretty sure that the Tesla has a conventional mechanical / hydraulic braking circuit (It wouldn't be allowed on UK roads without one), but also has regenerative brakes that a) add extra power to the mechanical brakes, and b) recharge the batteries under braking.

With the fuse blown I'm pretty sure that the Tesla would still meet MOT standards for brakes, but they would not have the stopping power of a high-performance part, and that the regenerative charging would not have taken place, reducing the range considerably when being pushed hard.

Story withdrawn

Get rid of the Two Point Oh's

Why?

Because the fucktards that really push the Web 2.0 agenda are the same fucktards that really pushed Web 1.0, got it wrong, now they're saying, "Yes, but this is how it should *really* be done, coining a few bob without really contributing anything other than their own agenda.

iCunts, the lot of them

Would ROFLMAO if they all just disappeared up their own rectards and got PWNED.

iJobs, cuz there's no fucking thumbnail for O'ReillyTards.

PETA cooks up gory game in Cooking Mama protest

Almost as good as...

...Clarkson demonstrating the V8 powered blender and making a blood, beef fillet and brick smoothie with it.

PETA, People who Eat Tasty Animals, will never, ever stop shooting themselves in the foot, will they?

Mines the Penguin, ready to be skinned, cooked and devoured.

Gary Glitter expelled from GCSE paper

The only 20th century musician not struck from the syllabus....

....will be Cliff Richard.

Mines the one going through my sons coat pocket to ensure he's not carrying any secret Gary Glitter parephernalia.

Bee Gees belter may help cheat death

Do you also....

...write articles for the daily mash?

Bloke knocked up kebabs close to corpse couch

Could've been worse

The corpse didn't have any missing "appendages" did it?

Still, I suppose the neighbourhood cats were safe for the night.

Judah 'Visual Voicemail' Klausner sues Google, Verizon, Citrix...

@Peter

'What else did he invent? The internet? $$$'

Of course not - Al Gore beat him to it

Lies, damned lies and government statistics

@Morons

have you driven through parts of Derbyshire in the last few years?

They might as well put camo nets over the cameras for how visible they are.

Skull and crossbones, because this government steals and plunders as much in stealth taxes as any pirate of the high seas in yesteryear

Teen battles City of London cops over anti-Scientology placard

If this goes to court...

...we wouldn't WIN the right to call scientology a cult - we should LOSE the right to call it a religion.

Retailers risk libel nightmare over 'no-work' database

I can't wait for this to burn the employers who sign up for it

True story, not a "what if"

Many moons ago I was drummed out of a job as a checkout operator in a major supermarket chain, supposedly for "planning to come back at night and rob the place."

As a (really, really) nervous teenager, I just caved, walked out without putting up a fight, and thankfully got another job within a couple of days.

The manager who got rid of me was later convicted a year later for paying his shelf-stacker mistress two salaries and stealing thousands of pounds worth of cigarettes and spirits.

What would have happended to me in this case? Would my name have been removed from the register after his conviction?

Would I have had to prove that the manager acted with malice or was covering his tracks?

I only found out about it by accident - what if I hadn't?

Would my life be blighted now?

BBC iPlayer continues platform sluttiness with Virgin Media launch

Via the RED button?

I sincerely hope not, I have a V+ box and the infamous red button has never, *ever* failed to completely crash it.

Every single time.

On the occasions I want red button interactivity I have to flick over to freeview on the telly itself.

Billy Bragg: Why should songwriters starve so others get rich?

All our costs are belong to you

What a fantastic business model!

Imagine being in the car industry and being PAID to take raw materials of the suppliers hands!

I suppose the Web 2.0 vulture capitalists also expect their web-hosts to pay *them* for hosting, on the grounds that the web-hosts are offloading their surplus bandwidth.