* Posts by Dangermouse

148 posts • joined 9 Apr 2008


Ryanair wins German court victory in screen-scraping injunction


And this is different to Phorm how?

That is all.

Government waves cutlass at IT budget


@John Lathem

"Try getting 30 companies to agree on a single desktop build, and once you've got that working try and apply the same to central government departments."

My point exactly.

If a large multi-national Bank can get a standard desktop build out into the wild with no problems, then Central Government with a single Technology department (how's the "Department of Technology (c) " for a name?) staffed with decent professionals should be able to as well. 30 companies on their own will not agree on a build, but given an Overload who has some teeth will drag them all together and force a build that works on them should work. Just imagine the billions that are going out to the likes of EDS, HP, Crapita, Fujitsu etc across the different departments to deliver crap. Think of all the money wasted on failed projects. Think of the money wasted on lost productivity and time. Think of the money wasted on "consultations" and tendering. Think of the deals and savings that could be made with single hardware and software suppliers, be it Microsoft or Open Source. Standardised Data Retention Policies. Standardised Data handling policies. Standardised procurement. Project Management to agreed procedures and policies. All money saving ideas. And then think of how much a difference in that money stayed inhouse, paying good British IT people good wages to create a coheirent reliable IT environment. And the effect that would have on the British economy.

Ah, Nirvarna.


Want to reduce costs?

Re-introduce the old Government IT department, bring out-sourced contracts back in-house, and bin the projects that are not required.

ID cards, for a start.

Land Warrior wearable war-smartphone survives Iraq baptism


Keyword search

iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone iPhone


Virgin Media ads throttled by peak time bandwidth squeeze



"fibreoptic cables running straight to your household?"

Not in my house, matey! But then, I only live in Central London so is to be expected.

UK most popular destination for 419 scams

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@Frank and AC

Even cheaper solution. It's called a delete key.

King Arthur was English 'propaganda', French claim


@all slating Michael's "speelong"...

I do believe the chap has mentioned in a previous post that he is, in fact, dyslexic. I feel compelled to highlight this because, I too, was guilty of bringing the poor man down a peg or two over his ability to murder the English language before I found out.

Unlike the septics, of course. They murder the English language at will. Rather like Iraq, in fact.

eBay Terror Ambulances of DEATH menace UK - top cops



This is just as bad as the crap the Yanks believed about exploding pens and model aircraft. Keep talking about possible threats, keep the people scared...

Spain dodges Zapatero kiss of death


Me happy....

...won 160 squids in the sweepstake.

ICO slaps TfL over Oyster data hoard



For fuck's sake, mate.

I was wondering how long it would take for someone to start screaming "Paedophile! Paedophile!" I think your perceived "danger" is tenuous at best. Why go thorugh all the hassle of turning up at school or the tube station (what the fuck?, by the way) when you can just grab the nearest ankle-biter who happens to be passing? The classic "I've got some puppies in the car", for example.

You're on the wrong web site, sir. This one is more suited for your ludicrous and outraged ramblings. It's HAVE YOUR SAY, by the way, if you cannot get past your red-misted, spittle-generating paranoid fantasies.


Bloke crams 13 into Volvo S70


Judging from some of these posts....

...that's nowt. Wen I were a lad we 'ad 135 people on't back of a hard-tyred push bike.

Up 'ill.

In 65 foot blizzards.

And no shoes. Just to go t' school. And then when we got there we got whipped because our rags 'ad threads hanging off. And thankful for it, mind.

And we 'ad to pay thrupence hap'ney fort privelege. And me ol' mum used to wash us by throwing wet stones from't stream at us. But at least the 'ouse was clean. Oh yes. Me ol' mum used to scrub the front step day in, day out with 'er knuckles cos we couldn't afford a brush. Even in the winter. In 85 foot blizzards. And she was thankful that she was so lucky.


Kids today. Don't know they're born.

Mutter, mutter, grumble, grumble.

San Franciscans prep monument to US prez

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If that does not go through....

...about the "George W. Bush chemical toilet disposal facility"?

Scareware package greets marks by name



Don't forget that when many OEM PC's are first turned on the operating system (especially with XP and Vista) is installed but not configured. The user goes through a series of questions, for example "enter all the users of this PC" and so that info will get written to the registry. And even though it is a shitty trick to play, I would still expect the majority of people to fall for it as the technical expertise would not be as high as the readership of this site.

SMS addiction awakens 'sleep-texting' phenomenon


I do recall...

...somebody telling me that you could not be legally held responsible for your actions for the first 30 seconds or so after you had been forciblty woken up because the brain hadn't caught up with the fact that you were awake.

Don't know if it's just another urban myth, though.

British Columbia stray foot tally hits six



Or even.....Davy Jones' foot locker!!

I thank you.

Phorm failed to mention 'illegal' trials at Home Office meeting in 2007


I can only...

...hold my head in my hands and weep copiously over this whole underhanded, disgusting, slimey, shitty, unjust debarcle.

Still, lets give K*nt the benefit of the doubt, eh? Secret trials on tens of thousands of BT users is an easy thing to forget about. Happens to me all the time.


Thief swipes cabinet minister's laptop from Salford office


You just cannot make this stuff up!!!

You really can't. My flabber is well and truly gasted.

NHS chief explains NPfIT delays


Complexity and customisation?

And in other news, bears likely to use woods for bowel movement, some observers say, and the Pope has been seen not to have wooley liberal agnostic tendancies.

Malware not man blamed in child abuse download case



From your post you seem to be part of the rabid-string-em-all-up-by-the-nuts-cos-they-MUST-be-guilty-won't-somebody-think-of-the-children crowd. Yes we are mostly computer literate here, and so can also see that this could of been entirely innocent. I agree with you that we haven't seen the evidence, however don't forget that both the prosecution *and* the defence brought in experts, possibly people who you might think would be computer literate, and possibly even Reg readers themselves. And don't forget both of the experts agreed that this was caused by a third party.

Tell me, do you disagree with every single criminal conviction because you haven't seen the evidence for yourself?

Also, what gives you the right to judge somebody else, *without* seeing the evidence for yourself?

I am not a malicious man, but seeing as I have a hangover this morning I shall allow myself to say that I hope something like this happens to you, that you lose your job and your friends, and that you don't have such a supportive partner. Perhaps then you might not be so judgemental of others.

'Humvee of the Skies' robot air-car design unveiled


Wind Tunnel Test...?

...Schmind Tunnel Test.

I can do "wind tunnel tests" on any old tat made from balsa wood, yogurt pots and sticky tape. And a nice powerpoint slide.

Can I have £50 million, please?

Cambridge woman in £90m 'leccy bill shocker


I wish this would happen to me...

I really do wish this sort of thing would happen to me, because I would love to just ignore the first letter, the second letter, the final demand, the final, final demand and then go to court just to see how far it would go before an actual intelligent human being actually looked at the unpaid amount and think to themselves "perhaps there might be a mistake here".

Or, in this day and age, that may be asking too much.

Aussies deploy bovine facial recognition


How amoooosing.

That is all.

Foldable sports plane gives Everyman a chance at crashing

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The dream gets ever closer...

Surely it's not beyond the realms of possibility for some boffins to fit some sort of self-propulsion and steering systems to be used when on the ground?

Voila - the flying car.

Top Tory resigns on principle over 42 days bill

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Good Lord!

Ethics? Principles? In a Tory politician? Have I fallen asleep and woken up in some strange pseudo-alternative version of the world?

At least one of them seems to have a pair, then. Get's my vote next time.

Angry? Try the Tw*t-O-Tron

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Never a truer word was spoken...

Added: Tuesday, 10 June, 2008, 12:6 GMT

Does anyone realise that enviro-marxist do-gooders are lining their pockets beacuse muslims are running the show. True patriots must bring back Hitler. We need less emotion and more backbone in this country!??

EU_bunglers_are_ruining_UK Nottingham

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It all seem so obvious to me now...

Blighty admits 'national shortage' of nuke engineers


And in other news...

"...Seventy university science departments have been closed down or restructured in the past seven years and the number of single honours courses offering science degrees has decreased by 10% in the last decade."

Source - Guardian Education...

Not that I am usually a cardigan-wearing, sandelled Granuiad reader, but the article sure does highlight the delights of joined-up Government and, perhaps, the idea that a country really ought to be led with the next few years in mind, not the next few fucking minutes.

...just my 2 d's worth.

Bonce-antenna education downloads foreseen in 30 years


MY predictions for 30 years time ...

...is that we will be back to banging the rocks together again.

PC World, Currys staff to be dumped in DSGi rescue plan?


@Re: Re: Sarah

But you are happy to bitchslap people for unfortuate musical tastes?

Remember the Amy WhineArse thread?

Boris Johnson bans boozing on London transport


My input as a Londoner...

First of all, read the article. It's not about banning Pims on trains out of London, its about drinking on the Tube and the Buses. Personally, I enjoy a drink or 8, but have _never_ drunk on a tube or a bus. I think it is anti-social, when the tube is anti-social at the best of times.

As for the minimum fair, 3 quid _is_ fair.

If you are going to winge about "3 quid to travel 600 yards" then my answer to you is "fucking walk".

I am hugely appreciative of the London transport system, and understand how much better it is compared to the rest of the country. And, honestly, I am not trying to rub anybody elses nose in the brown stuff - I wish this country could take it's head out of its own arse and make the rest of the country comparible.

Now, take the example of the group of Liverpool fans down for their "first trip out in the big city". Maybe if they knew that that they could not drink on the tube, getting pissed up, shouting abuse and making other people a little more scared than they really should be on a Saturday afternoon....then, perhaps, maybe, it might well make life just a little better for the rest of the world, just for a few minutes.

And isn't that, in the end, better for all of us?

Whitehall kick starts digital strategy


I suggest...

...that the Government gets it's own house in order with regard to IT projects before it tries to sort out "the disadvantaged".

UK government websites out of control


If only...

...there was some sort of commercial system that could be installed in the ISP's to monitor all HTTP traffic without letting the user know and so work out how many people were visiting Government websites.

Anybody know of such a system?

UK elections vulnerable to fraud - e-voting no solution


@AC regarding Sian in the starkers...

...alas, cannot get those.

However, she is here - http://www.green-engage.co.uk/about.html.

Might well be a greeny, but definitely someone I would like to meet in a dark alley...


Sian is hot!

That is all.

Natasha Henstridge braces for Impact


Dwarf Tossing

During my quick glance at the article, I first read it as "dwarf hitting the Moon" and thought Miss Henstridge had become a champion at the popular sport of throwing the vertically-challenged scamps around the bar.

Lib Dem mayor candidate jumps aboard muni Wi-Fi failboat



So do don't live in London, just work here - yes? Well, my Grandmother from Edinburgh has visited London a couple of times before and is coming up again next year so do you think she deserves a vote as well?

After all, she will also have no say as to the policies that will be undertaken in the city, which will directly affect her when she comes to visit. How about my mate Dean in Sydney? He's coming here to work for 6 months next year. Should he get a vote as well? I occasionally work in San Francisco. Should I be able to vote there?

Anti-paedophile police treble arrest figures


@Mark Broadhurst

Try 6 %, not 0.06 %.

Start, run, type "calc" etc.


BT's secret Phorm trials open door to corporate eavesdropping


Taking a lead...

I have just joined www.cableforum.co.uk under Dangermouse so if anyone is interested in my previous offer and meeting up in London, then email me through that site and we can get something arranged.


Judicial Review? Anyone to step forward?



Am based in London, and I suggest that some of us meet to discuss tactics and get a proper strategy organised. I am also willing to get the Judicial Review sorted out of my own pocket.

Anybody up for a meeting?

Canada.gov blocks sale of space company to US


Go, Team Canada!

That is all.

BT's 'illegal' 2007 Phorm trial profiled tens of thousands


@BT/PHORM 2007 Trial - AC

If you can prove that you were in the 2007 trial, then why for goodnesses sake have you not gone to the Police and complained that you were unlawfully intercepted by BT under RIPA? I know I would if I could.

If we cannot get at Webwise/Phorm through Ofcom, the ICO or our MP's, then the Police should be the next step.

No sense of humour? Avoid Bootnotes


Re: @Sarah Bee

"Yes. What's your point?"

Decorators in, are they?


Why classed as NSFW?


I can only find one direct reference to sex, and one swearword. If that now means that these sort of articles should be classed as NSFW, then The Register shall be removed from my etc etc etc, fought in 4 world wars, grumble, grumble, old tyres for shoes, 85 miles to school in winter, mutter...don't know they were born.


Col Reginald Mutterington-Oldfart (Rtd), 1st CannonFodder Rifles

Tunbridge Wells

Courts slam Blair's 'abject surrender' to Saudi prince



World domination - I'm your man.

Already got the cat. And the scar on the forehead.

Phone insurance firm reveals Sharia rules policy


Purple lights and whalesong...

Is it just me, or is this website getting a little more eccentric, and possibly slightly surreal, every day?

Information Commissioner: Phorm must be opt-in only


Virgin Media's stance....?

Just had a nice chat with a woman at Virgin Media to was decent enough to send me the following statement via email. It should be mentioned that she was not on the hell desk, but if you choose to talk to someone in the disconnections department, you might get Sarah (like me) who was knowledgeable, helpful and fully aware that there are lots of customers concerned about Phorm.

The email....

10th April 2008

We're still currently focused on understanding better the Webwise technology and the many complicated technical questions around how it could be integrated into our network architecture. We can therefore say at this stage that a) there are absolutely no foregone conclusions; and b) consumer concerns around privacy and data protection, not to mention any adverse impact on Virgin Media's reputation, are (and will remain) an important element in our deliberations.

In the event Virgin Media does roll out this solution, all customers will be notified and will not be forced to use the system. However, to reiterate, no solution has yet been implemented and will not be until we are confident that it is compliant to do so.

Best Regards,

Virgin Media

Interesting. Note that customers will "not be forced to use the system", suggesting that if they go ahead, it will be opt-in only.


To my MP, bless her...

Dear Tessa Jowell,

I note again that you have not responded to my last letter regarding Phorm and BT. The ICO has now concluded that the only way Phorms' illegal intrusion can be considered legal is by both parties consent; i.e. by the sender, me, and by the recipient, i.e. you, the receiver. If I had sent this message at the time under the trials, it would of been scanned by BT and Phorm.

Bearing in mind that in Phorm's world, this entire message would have been scanned and profiled by Phorm without your permission, and that you would not have given permission to allow this to be scanned, how can you justify not seeking a criminal investigation against BT with regard to RIPA?

BT conducted trial's in 2006 and 2007 and are doing exactly what I have highlighted and these trials are illegal.

Can you start an investigation on my behalf against BT and Phorm, because of the rules of the Director of Public Prosecutions I cannot do this as a private individual.

If I have interpreted these laws wrongly, please reply and correct me. If I haven't, why have you not raised this issue in the House as being illegal, under DPA and RIPA. Further to the issue, does not my correspondence to my MP come under the Wilson Doctorin? If I was suspected of nefarious intent by the Security Services, I would be expect to be and legally allowed to be subject to be monitored. Please explain to me the difference between the Security Services being allowed to monitor my activities by law under the Wilson Doctorin, and Phorm being allowed to monitor my activities for purely financial gain.

Yours sincerely,



@Alexander Hanff

Can we not get the name and the advice of the "QC" whom Phorm employed under a Freedom of Information Act request from the ICO. Surely they would know who it was....

I know that you cannot use the FIA against a private company, but the ICO must of seen this "advice" and made a judgement?


PhormPRTechPRTeam here...

Hi, PhormPRTechPRTeam here...

We still believe that we conform to the highest possible data protection standards because we have still got our heads so far up our own arses that we have no comprehension of the real world anymore. I mean, the normal versions of the DPA and RIPA are for other people, surely?

We wish that you would all stop being so mean to us - we had a really good idea to make shitloads of cash. OK, so it's illegal, unethical and underhanded but BT _really_ like the idea, presumably because they have the same ethics as us! And BT are a really caring, sharing company. No, honestly they are. You all know that.

Now, about those BT trials that we haven't talked about yet.

They were not illegal because at the time we didn't think anyone would mind that we were intercepting data transmissions without permission - and also, as we have stated many, many times, the versions of the DPA and RIPA that everyone else abides to do _not_ apply to either us or BT. (By the way, thanks for that, Patricia! Your new boat is on the way!)

Now, lets address the issues from the ICO and opt-in.

We will be working closely with BT's legal department to ensure that the changes to your Terms and Conditions will be clearly stated on page 935 of your updated Conditions and Terms. And, of course, there is the cookie.

So no problem there.

Any more questions, please feel free to email me at fuckwit.phormPRTechPRTeam@phorm.com




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