Posts by Charles Smith

Rambus legal crusade blunted by paper shredder

Is this an echo?

SCO ...sco

Deception of 'up to' broadband speeds exposed

Is 10 meg too slow?

The speed difference between an 8MB contended ADSL and a 10MB Dedicated fibre delivered Internet link is absolutely amazing. It has to be seen to be believed. However I guess most people don't want pay the £10,000 installation and £500 a month fee for such a service.

Ofcom should introduce a proper metric that can be contractually used to measure the performance of any domestic ADSL/Broadband service.

EDS pays for tax failure

Tsk Tsk

They have been let off lightly. Let's hope their failure is remembered when they try to bid for other Gov't or Local Authority work.

101 uses for a former merchant banker

Swiss Banks

I just love the move that one of the large Swiss Investment Banks made in paying this year's bonus to their "Bankers". The bonus is paid in the worthless financial instruments that these kiddies were selling. If they can turn round the market they get their money.

Personally I've used Gordon Brown's advice to guide my investments. When he was selling our gold I was buying some ... et al.

Blighty's jumpjets under threat in MoD budget wrangle?

Eggs in a basket

Two well aimed Exocet Missiles (circa £250k each on the blackmarket) when these carriers are in service and this whole debate becomes academic.

Cellular repeaters: Can you hear me now?

Even more useful

An even more useful device, but equally illegal in this country are mobile 'phone jammers. They work well and would be ideal in theatres/restaurants.

Ah well off to Qinetiq for some of their passive mobile phone signal suppressing wallpaper.

Egypt offline for weekend after Med seabed cables cut

Har Har Har

Yes Mr Chairman we'll offshore our helpdesk. Our punters will never know they are speaking to another country. What can possibly go wrong?

ADSL - the VoIP killer

Clients notice

Too true. You only have to compare the difference sound quality you get with a dedicated link versus an ADSL to realise the truth of it.

Skype to PSTN compresses voice down to 8K and then transmits that over a slightly dubious ADSL link without flow control to Carriers who have bid the lowest price to deliver the call remotely.

The bad thing from a business perspective is that you may be able to hear your client's clearly, but they can barely hear you.

Microsoft preps IE 8 for the web-challenged

Come back BillG we love you

Once again Microsoft introduces software that imposes extra costs on the users and businesses. Fortunately there are other very good browsers available,

We don't have to use Microsoft products. Vista should have been a lesson to them.

What have we learned about managing outsourcing?

Shark Baited

My job was shipped overseas to an offshore outsource company. They promptly discovered that the role was not as easy as it seemed and conned my old company into using three people to perform what I'd previously handled. "You mean that we have to pay for your people to get up at 5 a.m. to catch a plane...?"

Well after being booted out (with a nice gold parachute thank you!) I've built my own company and live quite nicely.

I had an email from an offshore company offering all kinds of services at knock down rates, but even their best sales manual could not deal with my put down line. "I was made redundant and my job was offshored to your country! Now what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

Counter-terror police arrest Tory frontbencher

Nothing new

Over 20 years ago I used to work for the British Civil Service and was exposed to classified projects. Even then in my innocence I quickly learned that there was a difference between Politically Embarrassing Secret and Secret for a Good Reason documents. They both had the same markings on their outer file cover and both were locked away in safes, but the Politically Embarrassing Secret had a far more limited circulation and distribution.

It seems like things haven't changed. The Home Office really should be scrapped and it's head Shamans dispersed into early retirement before they cause any more damage to the British Constitution.

PlusNet customer invited to opt-in to BT's Phorm trial

The Error was that they got caught

BT & PlusNet are now on the list of Do Not Touch Even With A Long Wooden Object.

BT are so chaotic. I recently ran a project where BT hadn't noticed that someone had chopped hundreds of copper phone circuits to a building during refurbishment. They even took orders to supply services over their non-existing circuits.

UK.gov plans 'consensus' on PAYG phone registry

Pinocchio Government

Buying a second hand mobile on Ebay are you sir? Don't forget to fill in your V5 Phone registration disposal document Sir. It is your job to check the passport of the buyer Sir, and to retain a colour Photocopy for 15 years Sir.

As usual this UK Government is lying through its teeth. There is no real justification for demanding Id for the purchase of mobile phones, other than they want to control the innocent citizens. Next they will be demanding that the Crims register their machine-pistols.

DVLA: A licence to bill

This is nothing new!

I worked in IT in the DVLA (ex DVLC) in the 1970's helping to recover from the chaos of the consultant designed system.

Even then it was possible for people with due cause to request, for a small fee, details of vehicle keeper's. This feature was a carry over from the earlier days when Vehicle records were administered by 240 county offices scattered around the country. In those dark days it was not unusual for police officers to sneak "behind the counter" and riffle through the card folders containing the vehicle records.

Get a grip and stop whining.

Vehicle spy-cam data to be held for five years

This Service needs a suitable acronym

How about:

Simple Traffic Archive System Implementation

?

Virginia de-convicts AOL junk mailer Jeremy Jaynes

Gee Thanks Judge

So the American constitution is a licence for some antisocial USA citizens to send unwanted junk to the rest of the world?

BT's Mayfair exchange downed by burglary

Been there done that BTTS

Now if they had read my book on Data Centre Security this would have never happened. I suppose I must get round to writing that book one day!

That's the problem with these new fangled routers - they are light enough for a single person to lift. Bring back thermionic valves style electronics I say!

DNA database costs soar

The DNA Database is here to stay; unless

Like the National ID Card scheme, the DNA Database is here to stay until each sitting MP receives a couple of thousand letters from their own constituents. Those letters should say:

Unless you cancel the Nat Id Card Scheme and keep the un-convicted people off the police DNA Database you will be fired at the next general election.

Fujitsu wants NHS exit payment

The art of negotiation

The correct government response would be:

1. Here is the bill for the extra cost fixing what you did not deliver.

2. By the way, please do not bother to apply for future jobs from us.

Best wishes,

The Tax Payers

Dollar surge helps software vendors soak customers

Boycott them - noisily

I've for several years now avoided buying software from the likes of Adobe and Corel precisely because of their gouging on the USD/GBP pricing differential.

I make sure to tell them to get lost and why every time they send my company marketing information. If everyone in the UK did this type of thing they might suddenly get more sensible.

Vodafone jacks up UK prices

Thank Gordon B

Remember when Gordon Brown made Umpteen Billions of pounds in auctioning off the 3G Bandwidth? Who do you think would end up paying for those massive amounts? It is just another stealth taxation by this UK Government.

US customs: Yes, we can seize your laptop, iPod

Good luck to them

Well if the US authorities can get information out of my bad tempered laptop they are welcome to it. The beastly thing is forever locking up and losing documents just before I'm about to save the work.

With a bit of luck they will seize it and I will get a replacement with a CPU somewhat faster than a Z80.

ps - don't tell my laptop that I sent this message

Blank robbers swipe 3,000 'fraud-proof' UK passports

Money Laundering

The Banks use the passport to help check the identity of people opening accounts.

"Thank you Mr Daz your passport looks in order. Nice and new isn't it. Ah you want to deposit $15,000,000 in used notes no problem Sir."

Boeing chuffed with latest raygun-jumbo ground tests

Lighting the laser beam

No. I distinctly remember you say that you would be bringing a box of matches. My job is just to aim the damn thing.

Mars suitable for growing asparagus

Smelly Pee

I've always wondered why Martians had smelly pee. Now I know.

Airline passengers get (VoIP-free) broadband

What about the CAT6?

Won't all those CAT6 Cables trailing along the floor of the aisles back to the switch in the galley area make an awful untidy mess in the plane? It would probably make moving the Drinks trolleys difficult too.

ICO slaps TfL over Oyster data hoard

The Price of Liberty

The price of keeping your travel activity away from easy scrutiny is to pay cash for your ticket. For those people outside of London that is twice the price of the Oystercard fare.

If you wish to protect your children it costs even more.

This data should only be used for the purpose for which it is gathered, i.e. To let the kids have free travel on London Transport. Any official who releases that data for other purposes, unless personally authorised in writing by the Home Secretary, should be sent to prison for a couple of years.

Bloke crams 13 into Volvo S70

Volvo

Having more than zero people in a Volvo normally constitutes a hazard to other road users.

Icahn laughs at Yahoo!

Best interests at heart?

Is Icahn interested in Investing or just the asset value?

Boffins prove the existence of jet-setters

Private Enterprise

I'm thinking of offering a service where pretty assistants (girls), for a small fee, take your mobile phone when you arrive at the local commuter rail station and lend you an alternative phone.

Your phone will be loaded on a Thames barge that floats up and down the river all day and then your phone is returned to you at the end of the day. The men in black will be convinced that there are many more river commuters and that their green objectives have been achieved.

A magnificent side effect is when you employer calls you (rather than vice versa) they only disturb the peace of the interior of a barge.

A variation on this service is to be able to drop your phone off at a motorway service station, whereupon it will spend the day travelling in the opposite direction or round the M25.

A quarter of UK adults to go on child protection database

Time for the revolution

It is about time that all these strength sapping rule inventing idiots were themselves gathered into a large jail and the keys thrown away.

They criminalise the majority to deal with potential crimes of a tiny minority.

The Members of Parliament should start earning their keep and apply a massive dose of common sense. If not Joe Soap public should vote them out.

UK electricity crisis over - for now

Greed > Strategic Provision

This failure is an easily predicted outcome of Electricity Trading schemes. In essence power generation equipment capacity will be configured to make a profit, not to provide resilience in the event of failure of someone else's machinery.

An CTO who permits a Data Centre to be constructed or refurbished in the UK without a full capacity UPS and Generator system should be fired and sued for negligence.

UK.gov plans central database for all your communications

Simple Cure for this

Write to your local MP and indicate that you will vote against the Nu Labour Police State. A bit of employment insecurity will enhancy their grasp of reality.

Royal Navy warships could run on sunflower oil - if fresh

This is no big deal

The last figures I saw put the number of active UK Navy vessels down to 28 ships. In the overall scheme of things this is likely to have a tiny impact.

Though the vision of all of those Navy Admirals (more than the number of active ships) queuing up at their local Tesco's to buy bottles of Corn Oil is quite appealing.

Your personal data just got permanently cached at the US border

About time too...

It's about time that the Yanks tightened their Border Security. In the 1990's I purchased as fairly large antique clock through three of their airport security checkpoints on to planes. It was never inspected or X-rayed.

The following year I flew into San Francisco on a tourist visa and left the country 2 weeks later by Amtrak Rail into Canada, but could find no one to collect my green visa card. So far as their computers are concerned I'm still in the USA (in UK really).

The UK Customs have long had the authority to take mirror copies of the disks of technology held by people entering the country. This is nothing new.

It used to be, and probably still is, illegal to take encrypted files into France unless you had official permission. Similarly you need an export licence to take encryption software (on you laptop) from the UK to a range of countries.

Mag-lev flywheel UPS firm says shipments speeding up

Hole in the wall

Back in the 1970's I visited the Police National Computer site at Hendon. In those days the PNC database was stored on large vertically mounted disks. I remember the manager who showed me around mentioning that they had put extra strengthening in the computer room walls in case the drive bearings failed.

As to this "latest" flywheel stuff a 30 second endurance is kind of limiting. I'd looked at their products once before and decided against them. I always assume that the generator will fail to start at the critical time and you need some time to initate a controlled load shedding and shutdown of critical servers. So a 30 minutes comfort zone is much easier for a commercial environment, well it would be if if you can cool the data centre as well.

Local council uses snooping laws to spy on three-year-old

Poole Council ineffective

The problem with Poole Council's approach is that it is expensive and ineffective. All that these criminal parents need to do is to maintain the appearance of living at the address near the school for the duration of the surveillance period. It would be much more cost efficient if children from Poole schools were fitted with a GPS location monitoring ankle tag. In that way conformance with the school policy could be ensured long term.

Such as device would be cost effective in reducing the labour needed to take attendance roll calls at the school. The devices could be linked to the Children's database and the school canteen/library fingerprint readers to help prevent impostors.

US war robots in Iraq 'turned guns' on fleshy comrades

Unpaid overtime

"I'm sorry John but you must stay late and finish writing the Demo program for the new Robot. No you can't have paid overtime..."

HSBC pops thousands of customer details in the post

Data Protection negligence

There are no excuses for this negligence by HSBC management. The data on the disk should have been encrypted.

Sadly this corporate negligence will continue until Directors are sent to prison and given criminal records for allowing the loss of personal data.

Australia to restrict laser-pointers - Minister

I wonder?

Is this the reason why flashing is banned on the London Underground railway system?

Carphone Warehouse stares down BPI and UK.gov on three strikes

BPI idleness

Clearly the BPI are hoping for a surcharge on Internet Connections as with Tape Cassettes. This would be money for doing nothing and punishing the innocent.

The music/video industry should get their act together and issue a public standards based individual digital Id's to the music listening public on security dongles. In that way individual media recordings can be personally encrypted for sale. This avoids the debacle of centrally administered Digital Rights (DRM) where access to the music ceases when the supplying organisation decides to cease its service.

The second step is to have fair pricing of the music/video's.

The current Gov't and BPI approach is a bit like using a beam trawler to catch a few shrimps. Very destructive and not at all focussed.