The sleeping tiger yawns and reveals its teeth. I told you it was not a rug.
300 posts • joined 7 Apr 2008
After withdrawing the F35s from their convenient European ground base, we'll see our "friends" asking us to share two large aircraft carriers to provide a platform for their planes.
I think the fear that BT street cabinets will sip the secrets of their lanyards might be a tad far fetched.
Phone your Microsoft account manager and point out that if they can't smell the coffee it could be one of two things:
1. They are about to come down with a Covid-19 infection, as the lack of taste or loss of sense of smell are early signs;
2. They really can't smell the coffee! Micro$oft should not be taking advantage of the Pandemic, but rather saying that for the duration there will be no licence constraints.
The good old steel fist in a soft glove discussion, will often work wonders. If it doesn't there are alternatives to Micro$oft products. After the storm there'll be a lot of competition for a reduced customer base. By the way use Google Meet to talk to this person.
Please, please don't leave us. We need your skills to support the legacy system. What do you mean, when you say that on top of wages, we have to pay extra for National Insurance, private medical, training, liability insurance, accountant fees, asset depreciation, VAT, and you want 5 weeks paid holiday, sick pay and overtime pay if working over the contracted 35 hours/week? Sorry, yes we did forget car allowance, business class travel/hotels and on-call allowance.
I'm afraid we can't do that... hey where are you going.... don't you want your free coffee?
Ah Mr Client you wish to engage my skills on your big new project? Okay, you do realise I’ll be working from my home office. I’ll be working on other client projects at the same time, so if you need optional expedited services, that will be an additional fee.
When necessary I’ll schedule meetings with your representatives to discuss their requirements, of course any change in timescale or requirements will generate a variation docket and will need to be signed off prior to variations work commencing.
When it comes to testing, if you prefer on-site testing, you will need to make test facilities available to our engineers, but our fees already include rental of services to test on our own site.
When the Government discovers it can no longer engage freelance IT staff, it will complain that the costs of consultancy companies are too high. A bit like the Treasury fiasco on Hospital Consultants and GP's.
The lesson here is that HMRC is no longer controlled by the Government and MPs.
So, the development teams had done good work and software testing was on schedule. However to run the new system, we'd need a new fault tolerant "mainframe", so my boss and I hegotiated a good deal on price and delivery date. Shortly after the deal was signed, the Finance Director walks into my office and "sadly" announces that the IT Director (my boss) has left the company with immediate effect, but not too worry because they had a shortlist of propective candidate. A mysterious hand materialised behind his head and started to write on my office whiteboard. "... it won't be you..."
Being a professional I warned my deputy that my life expectancy in my role was limited and started to tidy my paperwork so he wouldn't be left in the lurch. Part of the tidying was to pass the mainframe contract negotiation paperwork to the FD's deputy at his request. About four weeks later the new IT Director had arrived and I was gone two weeks later. The new boy made it very plain I was not wanted and handed over a departure package.
Four months later I had a grovelling call from the IT Director; "Did I know where the contract documentation for the mainframe had gone?" This discount was worth about four times my departure package. My reply: "I gave you the keys to the files cabinet at my departure interview, but you could talk to Finance." I understand, in the absence of documentary proof, the eventual terms from the manufacturer were far less generous.
When you had halon in a room you were supposed to have a venting/extraction system to clear it after a release. I saw a novel approach to this on a seventh floor equipment room, the room had never been pressure/leak tested. We suggested to the client it was needed. On testing we discovered the halon would have vented down the adjoining lift (elevator) shaft if there'd been a release.
I used to build trading floors, including the provision of networks. If the client specified a fibre network and I had a hybrid fibre/copper network installed, I could guess the reaction. My clients would have sued my company.
Having copper for the "final half-mile" is not a fibre circuit. The ASA has had professionals telling them they are wrong for the past decade or so. Like all bureaucracies, they get stubborn when they know they are in the wrong.
To own a .co.uk or .uk domain you should of course be a person domiciled in the UK or a business registered in the UK. In future this will help us distinguish EU companies masquerading as a UK company. To be honest once we've left the EU, why would anyone in the UK want a .eu domain other than for nostalgia. It's a bit like wanting a .zw domain.
He should have gone to court to argue his case. The judge could have then turned around and said, if you'd come here five years ago I would have said what I'm about to say now. "Bail is cancelled. You are free to go. By the way your Visa has expired, so leave the country."
Capita help government bodies "save" on pension commitments to Civil Servants. Capita then try to run the service using staff who've been motivated by abandonment, with leadership from process driven management. Along the line Capita extracts a profit for their shareholders on a service priced lower than the original service.
You end up with the lowest cost workforce with no loyalty to the "customer" whose motivation is meeting short term internal Capita targets. To plaster over the cracks in service Capita wheel out Relationship Managers whose task is to reduce client complaint to an acceptable level.
Small wonder that the GP private partnerships are discovering a few service gaps.
I was turfed out of permanent employment in the Financial Sector IT world in London as a consequence of grey hair disability at the grand old age of 52. The message from the recruitment agencies was "don't bother trying for a new job. You are too old.". So I set up my own company and within six months was charging the financial businesses twice as much per hour as they used to pay me in permanent employment, plus there were no on-call responsibilities. "You need me to work extra hours to meet a dumb deadline date? No problem. Sign here..."
Ofcom should issue "guidance" to the Advertising Standards Agency and the telcoms companies. To the effect, in any advertising:
Up to 30 mbps should be described as "Basic Broadband"
Above 100 mbps should be described as "Premium Broadband"
Above 1 gbps should be described as "Fast Broadband"
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