* Posts by mike panero

118 publicly visible posts • joined 4 Apr 2008


Judge green lights Microsoft vs Uncle Sam gag order case

mike panero

Trump and Deja Vu

I am sure I asked a hundred people if they had experienced deja vu and Donald Trump

They all had beards and mac based laptops

I awoke hot confused and with an erection

Thank God, wood seperates dreams from reality!

Samsung's Chromebook Pro: Overpriced vanilla PC with a stylus. 'Wow'

mike panero

My use case

I blow things up on my desktop

Email etc the phones (3 last count)

Got a 10inch tab for some games, viewing imdb whilst I watch the telly and recording my gas and electric on a spreadsheet (started life as an xhell orifice 2000 back in '06...)

But a tablet/laptop combo for nadda coin?

With HDMI?

That tablet never leaves the house so GPS is meh.

And it runs Android Bookmarks?

Castrate some Kodi loading crim in public just as you give $$$ free movie for x months*

* With a rusty knife, on a rainy day...

If the droid thing is sorted by my birthday... else crimbo

£200+ ish budget

How Apple exploded Europe's crony capitalism

mike panero

More about the ipod

It was all about the ipodness of it (the ipod touch came out in september that year, a few years ahead of the ipad)

You may recall some people carrying wifi GSM doongles so they could use their ipod touch in the field

And early iphones are for those blessed with young eyes, this old windbag needs at least 5" to use the web

Case-sensitive passwords are a joy on an iphone keyboard

Remember when music was the food of love?

What happens if you play on?

It grows bigger and you can't stop playing with it?

Or you have children and have to be an adult

UK Home Office slurps 1,500 schoolkids' records per month

mike panero

Fancy that

Going to work (for fuck all with no rights) and (trying) to educate your kids

About as much in the Tory dreamland as you can get!

Pains us to run an Apple article without the words 'fined', 'guilty' or 'on fire' in it, but here we are

mike panero

Re: Apple's history of bravery

Almost valid...BUT

Given their recent history they are never concerned about standards, even their own. And having paid for a brandname in headphones why let anyone else into the party?

No this is all about wearing $300 headphones to listen to your $1000 phone and knowing those looking at you know this

Sumptuary, pure and simple, 21st century ermine, let them eat Android

iPhone: Apple's Mac battle with Windows rebooted

mike panero

Where is the wow? iPhone7

Where are we lets see...

6 inch screen you can read, voice req that works most of the time, fingerprint NFC yep all nice when it works to make it work and work quick.(diary, comms bread and butter)

So the iphone 7...?

no headphone jack?

My thoughts

Two cameras with all the 3d stuff you could then do seems an obvious step; AR/VR Estate agents...

Front camera? Why not a reverse screen? A screen on the back, eink style for some nebulous messaging advantage that is used mainly for mega-selfies ; the top model sports a small IPS full HD 2" screen WHY

Built-in hinged cover with razor sharp edge that doubles as a knife; chop your veg help out with a mugging keep your screen scratch free

Super waterproof No buttons or ports, all capacitive buttons and wireless charging...

Safari OS; cross-platform integration via the all-new run anywhere safari browser OS, not iOS on a browser but the otherway round and thanks to open standards it works with m$ and google accounts ...

Windows 10 upgrade ADWARE forces its way on to Windows 7 and 8.1

mike panero

Re: A question

Or better yet a USB image...

I am about to upgrade my win 7 box (I mean buy new bits and make a new one)

Can I d/l the upgrade and use it on a new m/c? I suspect not

Is it worth messing with an old m/c Im going to upgrade? No of course not

If I put a pirate version on the new box can I upgrade for free? Ha nice thanks M$

Will it be faster? I have every reason to think yes it will be as long as you go for a 64 bit option

Rimini Street promises 'business as usual' after Oracle IP judgment

mike panero


Is it me or does this article need some editing?

Friday liquid lunch me thinks

Thanks for suggesting eBay should flog PayPal. It's not happening, CEO tells Carl Icahn

mike panero

Mr iCan and the Luftwaffe

Reading the Book Of Knowledge bit on Mr Icahn and he seems to have distroyed far more businesses than the RAF and Luftwaffe combined.

Does anyone know if he has left any for Odin?

FreeBSD 10.0 lands, targets VMs and laptops

mike panero

Nothing about OSX/iOS link?

Green and black serial terminals emulating oh what was it some DEC 100 thing VT that's it VT100

Jumpers for goalposts

When it got stuck you had to thump the keyboard!

Internet? Nah you had to text search a book with your eyeballs

Yeah knowing that by time you read the manual it was out of date

Nah no such thing as XP back then

Change is so much faster/slower today/then

Think XP is old? Try UNIX... no hang on is it really 1st Jan 1970?

Come to think of it NT is even older

Yeah UNIX is cutting edge, why it even works on MIPS!

Oh and my phone, and yours

Microsoft's Nokia plan: WHACK APPLE AND GOOGLE

mike panero


Oh look at all the water running out to sea, guess it will be dry from now on

Oh fuck look at that wave!


Microsoft cans three 'pinnacle' certifications, sparking user fury

mike panero

The long term

As their email says all the current cert holders can stay connected ... until 1 by 1 they die

Meantime any enterprise or government dept. that needs people with these skills have to decide what certification now counts or (and here comes the long play) just pay Microsoft to have its own people come in and "add value"

And if they can sell a largely cloud based solution most of those people will be in a Mumbai office

They will look as exciting as a fuzz covered worthers original in the bottom of your mum's handbag

US Republican enviro-vets: 'Climate change is real. Deal with it'

mike panero


theregister is now backing climate change

Next thing the Conservatives will want to reduce the age of consent

Shout over the stench of those corpses

Single? Thrill-seeking? Love selling? I've got a top job just for YOU

mike panero


What do we mean by grammar?

"grammatical error"

a) You know there was an error

b) So why did you not correct it?


I am a nurse, Mr Dr comes along and says "Give Mr Y 1000mg of morphine"

I have worked with Mr Dr for many years an know he really meant 10.00mg, cus he well he may be a sort of fake Dr, but Im just a nurse so well say your a Dr and well you know

Anyway because I did NOT correct an error which I knew to be an error I was given 7 years

Now there is you. You with let us guess a paid-for education maybe not Eat'um but by God your mum & dad put you thru a school that spoke Greek & Latin

So grammer well your top of the pops

Hold the front page for ETERNITY: Murdoch kills The Daily

mike panero

I can nither read nor write

Yeah I know

World's largest miner spooked by climate change

mike panero


World's largest miner?

So not some stupid kid with an opinion and no data

A huge corporation with the ability to hire the best

And we can assume from all that has been said before to use facts rather than fiction

Hence the use of "CLIMATE CHANGE" rather than "GLOBAL WARMING"

I mean you know a giant hurricane the size of Europe crashes into NY NY, in a season starting a month early, I mean where are these so called signs of climate change eh? WHERE ARE THEY?

Mall lurk man: Apple smashes Microsoft in Black Friday fondle wars

mike panero

Re: Truth.

I thought they wanted to be Google a couple of years back?

Sinofsky OFFSKI: Is Windows 9 now codenamed 'Defenestrate'?

mike panero

2012 will be the year of the desktop Windows

Now that Umbungo have fscked with their metro interface I can see Windows taking off on the desktop just as fondleslab's and alcoholic indifference take hold...

AMD lowers revenue expectations in run up to Q3 report

mike panero


Intels "Pick a Whore any Whore" bribe campaign worked to push llano down to a sheet of cardboard outside lidil's despite the fact that sandyitch can't do OpenCL, and that Adobe lives off the bribes it does not honour (why should it?)

Assuming Area 51 won't release Alien Batteries And the rise in "economic uncertainty" ultra low battery powered ARM like tablets that integrate with a cloud service or two seem to be the future.

A cloud with two ends; one low powered content consuming tablets, the other vast storage on fast links

A double digit watt x86 is so 1995 (P reg Astra?)

Buying ATI was so smart

Get NVIDIA and block Intel off?

No do that and we suddenly learn AMD is Arab owned and likely as not funds the tallyband

Employ or kill their top engineer's ?....France 2012....???

An offer you can't refuse....!!!!

UK ice boffin: 'Arctic melt equivalent to 20 years of CO2'

mike panero

Hitler for breakfast

The gas phase


An ideology


Breakfast is warm water

blah blah earth goddess

iPhone 5 wait drives record Samsung smartphone sales

mike panero

Re: Just proves Apple's legal case

Most iPhone users I know stole them in a blood drenched argument

Orange San Diego Intel-based Android phone

mike panero

Re: Curious...

Intel only buy the best

mike panero

Re: ..never buy on a promise

My gingerbread can't play flash, so no iPlayer for me

iPlayer on ICS only streams anyway, so the app is a giant bookmark

(I got an ICS tablet and a ginger phone, and next time I will buy a Blackberry 'cus I use my phone to talk to people as well as fuck around)

So, that vast IT disaster you may have caused? Come in, sit down

mike panero

Re: The author

Yeah it did read like one finger up his arse lipstick on his wrist

Google ditches the bits in the bottom of the box

mike panero

Symbian’s shame

Some Nokia yeah maybe phone

Tiny screen

fucking shit CPU

BUT you could yell at google and maybe see what you wanted to

And when you wanted to use the phone bit it had a "pick up the phone button" and a "put down the phone button" geez some UI design, years ahead of its time

Maps street view navigate

go on kill pigs with a bird?

Fuck no I could not twat away time like that!

That is so cool!

iPad swipes more of tablet market

mike panero

Why would you buy an android?

I know your a cheapskate who thinks he can beat the bookies!

Face it the iPad is a no brainer {if you can afford to spend any money on these things}

Spend £500 on a toy

£40 a month on a contract

£0 a month on stupid apps you never use 'cus all you do is read the news or tv guide on the bloody thing

Is this it reading Steven Fry's supper and trying to piss pig heads off?

A GPS device that only works outside but cannot be read in sunlight?

Made in China by slaves

Hacked by Latvian crime lords

Oh but it is so shiny!

Fuck Im stuck with last years model, look at her, finger marks all over her face, stains on her bezel, fucking slut God you smell like piss I WISH I NEVER MET YOU

It is important that I do nothing important

Botnet army flicks 'off' switch at UK crime agency website

mike panero

I am a big cheese at soca

I know just before the BIG EVENT I will send some shit down the line and see how those fuck wits cope

"Jensen, my office monday morning "

"but sir its a bank holiday!"

Apple shouldn't bother with TV...

mike panero

Aspect ratio

On my Samsung LCD the freeview stuff knows what aspect ratio to use AND on the Sky+HD when viewing an HD channel also knows what aspect ratio to use (via an HDMI interface)

If only we had known what a series 6 Samsung TV could do we would not have got a series 5 sure a USB stick with a film on it looks cool but a wireless dongle so I could watch the iplayer without having to plug a laptop in is even better!

Bluetooth remotes would be nice if you could replicate them on your smartphone

mike panero


How do you know what you want to watch?

200+ channels crowd source your social...


Gartner: Acer's glory days may be over

mike panero

Moral of their story...

Remember Gateway, compaq & all the rest

Has anyone made money REAL money out of these things?

Oh yes, Intel & Microsoft...

The moral is be indispensable

Nikon reheats Coolpix range

mike panero

What you want

The more that can break off the better - makes you want a new one

Stupid battery - means you want at least two and after 5 years they are both dead, and unavailable

To make it fail:-

A RAW no one can use

Some stupid XD card that never sells

A USB adapter in the shape of a baby's head

An f3.5+ lens that fails indoors

A non wide angle lens

crap battery life

huge shutter lag

fucking loud beep

huge red light shine before candid shot

Russia: 'We'll dump the ISS into the sea after 2020'

mike panero

One swift kick and the whole lot will crumble

Once more the free market can cock a snoot at Johnny Marxist as glorious NASA is replaced by my X

What is it my grandfather used to say "Those who believe in a free market must become its slaves"

Nokia posts massive loss, blames 'ambiguity'

mike panero

You should buy one

They are cheap, so it is not as if it will hurt you

And its obvious that Nokia will be dead in 2 years

No more Nokia phones

So any left become collectors items

The more so those still untouched in the original box

Complexity killed the IT quality of service ...

mike panero


You get things like the user swore (the fucknig system is shit slow)

Most 3rd parties can hang up the call there and then (abuse)

In fact if they DO NOT HANG UP when you swear they will lose their job!

So the entire exercise is to see who has the least humanity


Say your the support staff and you say something like "Sounds like a shit storm, I will send an engineer pronto" you might as well go home after that call, 'cus you just lost your job; you said the word SHIT in case you missed what I was typing

No, the New World Order is we are all French; We must wear and speak what we are told.

Only the "Real" French may tell what these are.

You are Brandy

We are Cognac

Apple annihilates Wall Street performance estimates

mike panero

Cognac v Brandy

Both will get you pissed

But it is easier to burn a cheap Spanish Brandy atop your pudding than...

Oh I don't know give a Mac Air to a tramp

(One Mac Air per A Tramp OMApAT?)

Or is it more super strength Cider versus Champagne ?

No no no, the cider will always get you laid...

The iPhone is your new right hand?

Is that what they meant by right-hand man in history lessons ?

Women are all right, but you can't beat the real thing?

News of the World TO CLOSE

mike panero


The Sunday Sport folded some years ago, now the Screws is no more!

Yet this woman still does not have the balls to stand up and be counted!

Most of us will never know the adulation nor the money of the famous, nor will we have anywhere near as much sex as the powerful

But every Sunday we could tut tut them with a misguided sense of moral superiority as the Screws lay bare their feet of clay

Do you think I will buy a Mail on Sunday from my £1million house?

Perhaps the Observer will idle away the time as I take the Eurostar to Tuscany?

No no no the Dirty Digger MUST MUST MUST revive the mix of moral outrage and soft porn that was NoW

Either that or he will see his empire collapse all for the lust of a red head's !!!!

The freakonomics of smut: Does it actually cause rape?

mike panero

I thought wanking was rape

Did I not hear one of the matriarch utter this? Was it in Alaska ?

I understand Islam considers it a sex crime.

A professor, an Australian professor , female, on a documentary about prostitutes stated several times that sex outside of marriage is rape.

And you think you will change their minds with facts!

Now who is the wanker!

CEOP announces 'record results' in child protection battle

mike panero

Just a thought

The bit about "continuing to address the self-generated risk that children place themselves in"

i.e. kids snaping a shot naked in front of a mirror and texting it to whom ever

I know if I try and photocopy a banknote I get nothing but a black blob, could sometime in the future

all digital cameras including those on phones detect when a child is being photographed and replace them with a black blob?

Why not, try going to a sports day with a camera see how far you get

Android app sales skimpy, sluggish, slack, scanty...

mike panero


You do not own a Nokia or have had reason to use Ovi

If I froze my piss and gave you the gold coloured rod that resulted you may smile, cus it looks like gold but as it melts the smell of piss will fill your nostrils

That sir is what a modern Nokia phone and Ovi are like

Adobe, Apple, Google hit by wage-fixing case

mike panero

Reminds me of the 70's

In the 70's everyone agreed wage inflation was killing the economy and the main reason was Unions (spit, curse)

Once the Unions were killed no one ever said anything about wage inflation except to say massive top brass "renumeration packages" reflected their market value

Perhaps they can make apply for a job when you have one the same as kiddie fiddling / drink driving, you will feel the guilt instead of them, that's how I would do it, seeing as you twats all vote that way

Mozilla refuses US request to ban Firefox add-on

mike panero

Man with the biggest stick


Did PlayStation Network hackers plan supercomputer botnet?

mike panero

Ok I don't know...

Let us assume your superduper computer figures are correct, going forward the PS4 etc will have at least 4x times the power of the PS3 & the internet will be an IP6 based gigabit to the home vonder land

Further all encryption must decrypt as that is the point (send it thru unknown pipes in a safe fashion) but given enough CPU all encryption must fail, even quantum, because at some point you need to decrypt the bloody thing

At the moment I can only see a usage model as supplying the nes. security; Just as with limiting emails from one mailbox by what one human could reasonably send, we now need "electronic money" that weighs too much for you to carry that much around and spend

But if the market needs to be regulated like that then QED Capitalism must fail, for it can only exist in a market with no regulations e.g. cocaine

If every transaction must ultimately backtrack to some central point to verify the plausibility that someone somewhere might want to d/l a game in Poland and buy a tank of petrol in Peru (at the same time , keep up) that would mean a level of surveillance which would exclude any and all newcomers thus creating a closed market almost as it were "too big to start "

I ask you is there any evidence, any at all, that the world would stand back whilst a few rich and powerful people would control all trade like this? is there?

Oracle and life after Larry Ellison

mike panero

I thought he was dead

I thought he was dead already

Facebook Comments kill web freedom

mike panero

hello krisna


DARPA: Send limbless troops back to war with robo-arms

mike panero

way better

than the same old willy jokes coughing their way up my esophagus

Did I type esophagus?

Well I must have been using a spell checker, honest

mike panero

so genetic engineering

is that what you want? GM Humans? Is it?


4G über-auction coming next year

mike panero

I was going to say

I don't know about no 3G (UMTS? thingy) but the "speed" seems to be the same as GPRS

LTE == Long Time, Eventually ?

Converting between backup formats is possible after all

mike panero

me too

I was wondering about the IP angle on this story, release the attack lawyers!

Patent attack on Google open codec faces 'antitrust probe'

mike panero

Well really

Any future codec discussion is mute, I will use Moors law to encode it on the fly after asking for the clients ID, or even cache it now, on huge hard drives say over 1TB each ( yeah in the 21st century they will be common...)

Apart from my dominant market position I can also leverage the 1st amendment to invalidate your onerous h264 licence, plus your a cartel, plus you are using a time-limited resource; patents

On top of all this the <video> tag is about the same as <embed>/<Object> bollocks, spawn another thread and start a shared library, no hang on I got HW support, just point the files handle at this GPU... Now who needs to pay who? ATI/AMD/NVIDA M$, umbungo or Apple?

The Node Ahead: JavaScript leaps from browser into future

mike panero

I do

Sometimes need >24bits on a picture like if it needs loads of correcting (say someone spilt coffee on the negative etc)

And for that you need tiff, as far as I can make out (is there a 32bit PNG?)