* Posts by Danny

101 publicly visible posts • joined 11 Apr 2007


Dutch cat skinner publishes critics' personal details


@Andy O'Rourke

How do you feel about dogs - did you notice the 'artist' is photographed carrying a rather depressed looking dog / satchel ?

I am perfectly happy to give your wife and her cat a loving home, just put them in their cages and I will pick them up.

Thumb Down

Death Imitating Art

The key quote is "She became so depressed that I decided to kill her and made her into a purse". the cat was dying, it merely starved of attention and kept in inappropriate conditions by someone unfit to own any animal.

In the photo, the artist looks pretty depressed to me. My ex is an Amsterdam artist who'll know where to find her, maybe I should go cure her depression, accessorise and exhibit?

Oh yeah, feel free to pass her my email address.

BNP DDoS 'mega-assault' not actually mega in the least


@Ian - Little England

Impressive history until you used the phrase 'little Englander'. That was a slur used by imperialists against people who opposed slaughtering Johnny Foriegners.

Anyone who doubts the BNP are nazis should have a look at the emails on their membership list, including Totenkopf88. In my town they get most of their funding from drug-dealing and violent extortion.

Stolen RAF files are blackmailer's dream


Uniformed stocking and suspenders

I've worked with the RAF before. They have no idea about computers, your average call centre staff are better trained on IT. They are arrogant little men surrounded by submissive women who are uniformed in stockings and suspenders. Nothing in this story surprises me. For the sake of their own safety their IT should be outsourced.

NZ couple do bunk with £3.9m bank error


Carpe Pecuniam

I know a doley who found a sack load of cash, £10k, after someones bank raid. He handed it in, was thanked, and is now a totally broken man. If that ever happens to me at the very least I'll open it up, throw it in the air and roll about in it for a while.

Taxpayer coughs for AOL Connie's flat



I read this on Ceefax earlier and honestly thought it was Phil Willis who played Connie. What a relief.

I see Gordon Brown is still not reading his petitions-

Five most popular open petitions

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to…

* resign. (61139 signatures)


Israeli boffin invents "OkayToKiss™" pocket bad-breath test


Does my breathe stink?

This reply prompted me to propose marriage:

"You smoke, you drink beer and coffee, of course your breathe stinks. Lucky for you so do I"

The anon cow who asked for cameras for eyes, google Rob Spence.

US Forces 'black' budget = 2nd biggest military on Earth


@Gary - Military-industrial complex

That speech led the CIA to assasinate the President, but like all their black projects it came in a couple of years behind schedule.

Missile data, medical records found on discarded hard disks



I built a little smelter to destroy/reform my old hard drives as I'm a terrorist/activist. I briefly thought about offering this as a paid service before I considered what sort of customers I'd attract.

Conservative US shock-jock to sue Wacky Jacqui


too right

So millions of right wing americans are going to boycott the UK? Two wrongs can make things right.

Swedish couple demand right to name baby 'Q'


Trekkers not trekkies

I upgraded a PC in a German office that had a Star Trek wallpaper, and the girl who it belonged to had the hair, clothes and mannerisms of a vulcan. Working in IT I bit my lip but I burst out laughing when I was introduced to her boss, who was a total ringer for Picard and was doubtless boldly going... Anyway, if the Swedes are Trekkers then they will try to name all their children Q.

IPCC U-turn on Tomlinson CCTV


Hardwick must resign

He made a ridiculous claim that no body had verified and yet was easily verifiable. That claim may display bias if not indicate an initial, perhaps ongoing, coverup. That is certainly indicated by his initial choice to subcontract the investigation to the City of London police, despite their officers being involved.

We need an independent public inquiry into police culpability in the death of Mr Tomlinson and a second such inquiry into police tactics at protests.

Sonar causes (temporary) deafness in dolphins


Highly ethical

'A deaf whale is a dead whale'

I feel marine biologists distressing this one dolphin is ethical because active sonar is so ubiquitious now, dolphins and whales are dying from this. The data from a dolphin in a swimming pool played repeated pings doesn't easily fit into newspaper science columns though as it doesn't readily translate to damage in the real world. For instance, hearing rifle fire or a siren approaching from a distance is a lot less damaging than someone sneaking up behind you and emitting the same noise blast.

I believe some beachings are caused by loud noise from natural sources, and from other man-made noise such as underwater explosions, but that naval sonar is a large and increasing contributory factor. Mass strandings can be caused by active sonar even if it isn't deafening, in a similar way to bison being stampeded off a cliff. I refuse to believe in this day and age that the only way to 'see' underwater is to blast the entire environment with noise.

Report: Legalising drugs would save UK plc huge packet


Great article

The street price of drugs is almost entirely due to the fact they are illegal. If you were allowed to grow the herb cannabis in your garden the price would effectively be zero. Legalisation would slash alcohol consumption in the UK instantly. There is still time to watch the excellent Horizon programme on cannabis that points out ordinary cannabis contains an anti-psychotic element.

China rubbishes cyber-espionage claims


UK state sponsored terrorism

You do know that Bin Laden trained in Scotland, not in Pakistan?


German Mickey Mouse radio snoops on cops


Chinese espionage

Wait until the Daily Mail hear the Chinese are smuggling spy equipment into the EU to support their evil botnets.

I could still listen in to the police here after Channel 5 started broadcasting in 1997, as they were on the same frequency. The police were slightly more interesting than Channel Five.

UFO fleet menaces east London


Privacy concern

Street View is rubbish. Everytime I look at a house where I know a pretty girl lives, either the curtains are closed or the angle is too great to see in. Google should do it all again this time using Millimetre Wave cameras that can see through the walls. At the very least have higher cameras on the car too so that I can see in the top floor windows.

Jobless Brits face influx of foreign IT workers


Cheaper by the half dozen

I was replaced in my last contract by six degree educated Indian MCSEs. Their combined wage was less than mine, meaning their individual wage was less than the national minimum wage. So how to compete against someone better qualified who earns less than the minimum I can work for?

I think we should outsource parliament. Indian MPs earn £1300 pa, we should get 600 odd of them across here and see how the local politicos like competing for their jobs.

Brit pair convicted for high-tech bank heist gone bad


Bank of Where

When I worked at SWIFT I was told the tale of the mafia gang who had invented a fictious island nation, complete with lots of supporting national websites and mentions on forums. Their 'national bank' applied for SWIFT membership and the scam was only caught because someone eventually looked at an atlas.

Pro-Heathrow demo challenges Carbon Cult killjoys


Cut the fat

The trouble with eating the rich is there are so few of them to go around we'd soon run out and be relying on veganism. You'd need to keep some rich people as breeding stock, and that is expensive. Unless you intend just eating people who are richer than you which would certainly lower wage demands.

There is a Californian plastic surgeon who runs two cars using the body fat of his patients as fuel. The UK is not short of it's own obese resources. We could forcably suck the fat out of fatties and use that for fuel. That would cut CO2 as lighter people would be travelling, it would slash the health budget plus it would just be easy on the eyes.

Rail workers get shirty with see-through blouses

Paris Hilton

Can I stuff my fare down their bra?

Okay, I did click on the photo link but just out of nostalgia, most of the girls at my school wore these blouses which is partly why I am so under-educated.

It is a very serious issue though for two reasons. No body show be exposed to sexual exploitation at work unless they choose to be. Secondly, and much less PC, there is nothing worse for a passenger than seeing through a garment that you really would prefer to be opaque - train conductors ? Eugh.

I am a sexist-feminist. I have a drop-dead gorgeous postwoman who I really wouldn't mind seeing in such a blouse, but I can't talk to her. I was trying to work up the courage to ask her out or even just talk to her when she rang my doorbell and said 'You've got a big package'.

Paris, because that was the last journey my train went into a tunnel.

Info chief slaps Met on CCTV in pubs



Austrian activists took control of a CCTV to test how best to blind them, recommended laser pens and balloons.


The Revolution Starts at Closing Time

This is maybe linked to the Times story saying that drinkers will have their benefits cut unless they 'fess up to their evil ways.

"New powers will allow for individuals who apply for jobseeker’s allowance to be forced to take compulsory alcohol tests if officials do not believe what they say about their drinking habits. Those who refuse to cooperate could be deprived of the benefit for six months. Officials will also be able to check the truth of applicants’ answers through other agencies, such as the police."


Sub-prang panic: Calm down, it happens all the time


Don't Panic, Don't Panic!!!

I take it the French sub was less badly damaged since it got back to port first citing a collision with a container, which seems an impolite description of HMS Vanguard - are there many semi-submerged containers ? Some news-gonk just suggested fitting the submarines with windows, but I don't think this can be blamed on Microsoft yet.

I was more concerned when HMS Trafalgar crashed into the isle of Skye since I lived there at the time. Presumably Skye was operating in stealth mode and so undetectable by passive sonar. The RN then really pissed everyone in Broadford by issuing Iodine tablets and holding public meetings saying things like 'Our ships are perfectly safe in your X Berth but accidents will happen'. They even showed a map of the expected fallout and described evacuation plans to the nearest hospital, failing to realise the hospital itself was within the 'red zone'. It was like the Royal Navy were doing CNDs job for them.

I loathe active sonar after seeing the whale and dolphin beechings around the Qinetic base in Kyle, I think that is a global risk to ceteceans more serious than the odd nuclear leak or even bang.

Scotland to battle grey squirrel invaders


Canutes 'On the origin of the species'

£1.3 million for a cull that is only delaying the extinction of the reds. That is probably money better spent trying to develop an inocculation if the virus is the reds problem, or relocation of the reds if it is an innate inability to compete.

Man arrested in Indymedia animal extremism probe

Black Helicopters


Are you saying all websites should have the comments moderated in advance or just Indymedia? Most websites don't, most forums don't and most blogs don't. The reason these sites don't is because they have the staff that professional - paid - media outlets do, so a law that insists they did would only benefit corporate press.

Indymedia don't log IP's, are you saying message boards should legally require surveillance ? Cos then you'd need decicated cameras trained on every messageboard in every community centre and shop.

This is the equivalent of being prosecuted for graffiti sprayed on the wall of your building that you'd already painted over.

A wider point, I bet the person didn't know the judges details, I bet he looked it up somewhere like the internet or a telepone book, or one of the 'Uk Info' disks that are perfectly legal and which businesses and judiaciary use to identify ordinary people. This is the absurd scenario where 'Gathering Information Useful to a Terrorist' means possessing a telephone book or a Who's Who.



The Indymedia folk removed the identifying comments thus protecting the judges privacy.

They don't log IP addresses to protect the activists who post there who are at the bleeding edge of the police state.

To see irony in that principled stand is to misunderstand the concept as badly as Alanis did.

"It's like rain on your wedding day" is not ironic, that's just weather.


Jumping to conclusions

The arrest may not be based upon evidence gained from the server, and it might not even be the person or people who posted the comments, it may be an IMCista being held on some intimidatory charge of obstruction or RIPA. Given that possibility then we can't draw any conclusions yet. and I'm going to bite my tongue until IMC release a statement.

Extreme pron vigilantes are after you



>This week, the new law on extreme porn went live throughout the UK (except Scotland). ..."to get away Scot-free"

Well, it is home-coming year. Like charity, coming starts at home. I wonder what Gary Glitter wears under his kilt?

Forget Google rationing: Only lighting farts can save the planet


Most human farts methane free

"According to Dr. James L. A. Roth, the author of Gastrointestinal Gas (Ch. 17 in Gastroenterology, v. 4, 1976) most people (2/3 of adults) pass farts that contain no methane. If both parents are methane producers, their children have a 95% chance of being producers as well. The reason for this is apparently unknown."

The obvious solution is to stop methane producers breeding together. Your children will only contribute to global warming if both you and your partner see a blue tinge to your fart flame, and this ctest ould be incorporated into civil and religious weddings.

Pro-Palestine vandals deface Army, NATO sites


@David Barr

Everyones memory is selective sometimes, there haven't been 3 years of constant Hamas rockets for example. You forget the recent truce which lasted for 4 months before being broken by the IDF.

Gaza truce broken as Israeli raid kills six Hamas gunmen


That truce could have been extended if it had been observed along with the end of the blockade as agreed but with an upcoming election against even more hardline opposition the Israeli cabinet did this to boost their own political agenda.

SexSearch not responsible for underage hookup (again)


Date Stamp them

Tattoo the date of birth of every child then have it removed by laser when they reach the legal age of consent. Not that I'm every likely to screw anyone that young again even by accident but I am crap at telling ages and could serve them alcohol or let them vote or something.


Spinning the war on the UK's sex trade


Why an IT angle?

I only read the Register for the sex and violence, is there an IT section here too?

It's Sadville: The Movie!


Lights! Camel! Action!

I spend a lot of time posting here, and in reality I am not the hunk I pretend to be. Any offers for the movie-rights to my life?

(The only flying penises I have ever seen were wearing RyanAir uniforms).

Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah set for top two spots in Christmas Day charts


"Just a kid with a crazy dream"

Most of the other songs on that Cohen album are better. The John Cale version is by far the best. Buckleys duet with Liz Fraser 'All Flowers in time bend towards the sun' is a far better song than his cover of Hallelujah.

Shouldn't JLS have sang Cohens 'Alexandra leaving' instead ?

Censored scenes from the Congress WMD report


Already has been a biological attack

The United States never nuked Maryland when it launched an anthrax attack.

Don't delay: Delete your DNA today


The Rapture

I've never been happy about the police having my DNA since I read the Neocons plans for it,

"advanced forms of biological warfare that can target specific genotypes may transform biological warfare from the realm of terror to a politically useful tool" - Rebuilding Americas Defences, PNAC

Man trademarks ;-) emoticon


Ads aren't interesting enuff

Just yesterday someone alerted ElReg to the fact that you had reprinted a viral while passing it off as a story. Now you are doing it again. What does a lawsuit cost for - insert name of company - compared to the free press you have just delivered for a barely funny story ? Yet some other interesting ElReg story has just disappeared.

Please, some other El Regian please slapdown this 'author' for brining you all into disrepute.

Atari promises it won't suck this time


In memory

I remember when an Atari console was almost as desirable as a record player. Back when even the tuff guys thought football was more important than sex.

The last thing I bought from Atari was a Star Trek game, programmed in 8000 characters burned onto a rom cartidge. It was too complex to explain to most of my friends, who had to have the narrative of 'Defender' explained to them real-time, but it engrossed me for months.

Who writes engrossing games in 8k now ? Of course the earlier programmers were smarter. They knew less and they did more.

The continued exploitation of a deceased brand by companies seeking to cash in on nostalgia is pitiiful and unlilkely to be endorsed by many people who appreciated Atari at the time.

Pair arrested over leaked BNP list


Different Trains by Steve Reich

"At least the fascists made the trains run on time" is a phrase that is part of our culture, but isn't actually true. Even if it had been true, if my train is heading to a death camp then punctuality isn't my main concern. Air, water, and escape seem more important.

IBM helped the slaughter be even more efficient, but wouldn't it have been more efficient just to not slaughter people in the first place? Hitler loved Henry Fords efficiency in producing panzer trucks for the German army but that doesn't mean Ford wasn't just as efficient in supplying tanks to the US army.

A daft young teenager I like walked up to me recently and said innocently "I don't agree with what Hitler did to the Jews but you have to admit he was a great world leader". To save me from more four hour rants, can you decent tax-payers not start investing in a basic education for everyone in the UK that includes recent history ?


I wonder what I did to Markie

Richard Cartledge > "The people involved are long-time Labour and union-funded Searchlight moles"

Both Searchlight and the BNP deny this so your extraordinary statement would require some proof.

TeeCee > "Even slime have a right to free speech and privacy...The lack of knowledge here is most adequately expressed by those who think that they have some sort of god-given right to publicly pillory those they hate."

I personally wouldn't have released the list as it stood, but I would have passed it around without all the obvious ex-members, kids etc. I think anyone who is an activist in any legal party should be prepared to publically state it. I have mentioned on ElReg before that I was personally kidnapped and threatened with death by local BNP members, and the publication of the list is something of a liberation for me - I now know where most of the kidnappers live, as they know where I live, so I am able to avoid them more easily. I respect the freedom of speech and privacy of anyone who respects my freedom of speech and privacy.

Markie Dussard > "How can you teach WWII without explaining WWI and its consequences? And what were the causes of WWI? Who says your understanding and interpretation of WWII is the only one worth teaching?"

There was a story today that young kids history lessons are to be dropped to make room for computer training. Obviously the roots of WWII should be taught as part of the subject, and obviously it isn't the only period of history worth teaching. I still say it is the most important lesson that could be taught. And in any subject the kids should be taught to investigate for themselves and draw their own conclusions. I just don't think many of the BNP who adopt Nazi names have much idea about the true nature of the Nazis. Saying that, they also don't know much about geography. Trying to bond with one of the BNP who had a knife to my throat I asked if he would have sex with a beautiful asian girl and he said he had indeed screwed a Cuban once. For them, Pakis begin at Calais.

Dave > "Or do you think that maybe we should try to understand the detailed advantages and failings of each system?"

Yes ! Very much so.


Nazis acceptable on the BNP list

The leadership of the BNP is obviously still far-right -effectively Nazi - even if you choose to argue that many or most of it's members are not.

Lot's of the contact addresses have 88 in their title, a reference to 'Heil Hitler'. One of them even is listed asTotenkopf88, and another as Lord-HawHaw.

The Totenkopf SS started off by machine-gunning 99 unarmed British prisoners of war from the Royals Norfolks, and then went on to run the death camps. For any British political party, especially a pseudo-patriotic party, to happily list Nazi nomenclature, codes and references in their membership list means they are unarguably a far-right party. In many ways it is more understandable to have joined such a party in the 1930's when the inevitable consequences of fascism were not informed by historical hindsight.

I think the list highlights a lack of education among the British public about World War Two. I think WWII should be the sole required reading on every school history course for at least the next fifty years, this would help strip the BNP etc of any pretence of patriotism.

UK e-tailers scurry to scrap dodgy Heavy Metal covers


The best kiddie-porn I ever saw...

.. was the Polish movie 'The Crows' which has several scenes of childhood nudity. I saw it earlier this year at the '81/2' film festival Nairn that Tilda Swinton organised and which every highbrow newspaper website covered, surrounded by an audience of enrapt kids and pensioners. It is about a nine year old girl who kidnaps a three year old girl to be her mother because there is no love in her life. I'm sure anyone who wasn't left in angst about the passage of life by the end was fumbling in their pants at the back. Maybe more to Max Mosleys tastes would be the movie 'Shoah', the longer version clearly shows underage girls stripping just before they enter the gas-chambers.

What could be hotter than the footage of third world peasant girls covered in napalm?

I think this story is a symptom of a deeper malaise, British and US hangups about nudity and sexuality that have been lampooned for a long time in saner societies but it is no joke now. We could fly to the land of the sauna, where everyone happily sweats nude in mixed groups including mixed age-groups, and we'd learn learn something too since Finland has a lower level of child-abuse than we do.

A380 too quiet, moan Emirates pilots


Not so smart

"Or to be slightly more direct, to journalists seeking to fill in an otherwise dreary December morning's news?"

"It is funny because it is true!", to quote Family Guy,

"The last thing I want is for the pilot landing the plane to be sleep-deprived!"

Most pilots are sleep-deprived even in older aircraft, simply because they stay up screwing, snorting and drinking all night long. The last thing they do each day before going to bed is to take off. All the warnings beep like an alarm clock. They also know ground-crew can't smell cocaine on their breathe and those dark avaiator glasses hide a variety of sins. We have mandatory drugs tests for prisoners who are already locked up, for soldiers recovering from battle, but we don't test pilots for anything unless they turn up at an airport reeking of alcohol.

"I thought these guys were supposed to be smart?"

Commercial pilot cadets are selected through psychological tests to be smart enough to cope with an emergency, but not so smart that they get easily bored with routine. I find them dullards, and my stereotype of them would be a macho 40 year old man trying to live a teenage lifestyle. The average lorry drivers day is more mentally taxing and stimulating than the average airline pilots. BA is where the RAF second-raters retire.

Why the IWF was right to ban a Wikipedia page


legal question

Isn't this going to blow most 'downloaded kiddie porn' convictions out of the water ?

The IWF banning this picture indicates they are able to ban any illegal webpage. They have assumed responsiblity for what images I can and cannot see on the internet. Therefore any image I can still see on the internet is IWF approved, and the IWF, and perhaps the website owner, should be prosecuted instead of me.

If I walk into a newsagent and buy a pornographic magazine and then am prosecuted for that magazine carrying an illegal image, surely the newsagent, publisher and regulator are to blame more than I am ?

Exam board to hear appeal over format cockup


plainly daft

The examiners computers can't read a .txt file ? What sort sort of a computer can't read plain text ?

When an incompetent teacher missubmits or misinstructs a class, why was the first reaction to call the class failures ?

Brit ISPs censor Wikipedia over 'child porn' album cover


European sensibilities

Which famous photographer took it ?

I watched a 20 minute EuroNews TV report on David Hamilton which featured many his his young nude portraits. Ironically that was broadcast by Virgin.

Teen-bothering sonic device now does grownups too


2 edged blade

If it is legal then the simple way to discourage use of the first version is to stand outside the premises carrying the second version that affects everyone. Or perhaps outside the homes of the owners and the shareholders.

Jamming convicts' mobiles works


Won't cut crime

In the UK staff patrol with handheld scanners. The prison service probably gain quite a lot of intelligence from prisoners 'secret' phonecalls so it is not apparent that jamming would cut crime. Jamming would inevitably lead to complaints from prisoners and staff who are, or claim to be, electrosensitive.

Any gangster who wants to get information in and out of prison is not reliant on mobile phones, they can just tell a visitor or even by letter 'in so many words'.

One simple way to cut mobile phones in prison is to normalise the payphone rates in the prisons.

The normal prison telephone rates are prohibitively high for many prisoners, which isolates them from their family and makes organising an appeal nearly impossible. This is because large parts of the prison service are privatised, including the virtually unpaid work the prisoners do, the caterering contracts and the telephone contract. By lowering the cost to prisoners of controlled payphones the value of smuggled mobile phones drops.

Off topic, but I do not believe it is just to profit from someones imprisonment, if a judge wanted to financially punish a prisoner then it should be part of their sentence. I think any state that sentences people has a duty to imprison them itself, not subcontract it to the highest bidder.

Social workers sacked over Gary Glitter email


FTP (Lanarkshire definition)

I suspect this is more due to the council losing £7.5 million to an Icelandic bank. I'd also bet the sacked staff all are the same religion. South Lanarkshire council is a hotbed of local-politics and office-politics that are mainly sectarian in nature. The councillors indicate their religion with say a red pencil, a white ruler and a blue pen in their jacket pockets or similar visual cues. I once heard their Finance Director joke "What is green and stationary ? A catholic on the housing list". The same guy insisted on storing paper copies of everything on mag tape so that there was a 'permanent copy', despite the fact that the huge roomful of printouts had mostly faded away completely.