Posts by Jamie Kephalas

BOFH: A spot of bother

Thanks!

NOW, it feels like friday!

Next on my agenda...

BOFH: Stick this

ok...

... it might have taken me a minute to get into it but I'm laughing now!

/me goes to buy some more fire extinguishers....

What?

Thanks Simon!

VMware unmasks next-gen hypervisor

Excuse me...

...how much?!

bye.

El Reg spymobile snapper nailed on Street View

I too saw the one located in the...

... Shell(?) garage in Ascot!

I almost feel famous...

Seriously, how long is this going to last?

French yoof offered Halo-esque electric buggy

For the safety of...

"Does this still work when the thing's going flat out on the freeway, we wonder? For the safety of other drivers, we hope not."

...other road users, we hope it's not allowed on the "freeway".

Screeching rails close London Tube station

Lube squad?

Need I say more?

Latest subject for peer review? You

Surely the...

...data protection act will come into play here somewhere.

PH, cause I'd love to see her ratings!

Grand Theft Auto IV add-in censors original game

No blood? No hot coffee?.....

.... it just wouldn't be GTA without them!

I'd love a "Hot Coffee" with PH.

Wanted: £160k-a-year Twittercrat

Should we...

... expect to see a sign of "0wn3d" being held up by back benchers?

US Navy orders new electric hyper-kill railgun

Jeebus!

So these slugs will be impacting around 1700 m/s!?

Brits find accommodation a little uncomfortable

That's not the correct attitude...

"However, when it comes to formal letters and even job applications, they need to get the correct spellings in place."

I fail to understand how, if a certain person cannot spell correctly in everyday life, that they should be allowed to produce one document (in this case a CV) to show literacy skills. I believe they need to use correct spelling and pronunciation in all forms of communication.

Maybe remove the 160 character limit for sms based messages to allow for full English to be used?

Maybe 5.5.6 (I might implement this on my server in fact) e-mails which contain more than x amount of spelling errors or abbreviated words like "yea" when "yes" would suffice with the same number of keystrokes.

Maybe a good old speech from a certain Microsoft exec before school everyday? "Spelling, spelling, spelling, spelling, spelling"... and so on and so forth.

In fact, I'm bored of this, where's my BOFH?

BOFH: A safe bet

Wahooooo!

Good story to start the year on.

As ever, thanks Simon!!

Pub anyone?

Seagate isolates 'potential' Barracuda flaw

@dave

lol. That is all.

"The only scenario I can concoct is if they vibrated at such a frequency as to resonate with the PC, causing it to fall off the desk and squash a particularly slow cat."

Seagate dishes up 1TB drive, looks ahead to 2TB

I'd really prefer

more work into making ssd's faster and more economically viable.

PH, she's also out of my price range.

Windows 7 beta washes up on Pirate Bay

But I like

windows vista x64...

I also like...

Atom challengers poised for 2009 debut

@Richard Lloyd

I know what you're saying, but why don't you also ask for a skoda with a ferrari engine in while you're at it?

Nintendo whacked with $5m Wii strap lawsuit

@Daniel

The 1st release Wii-motes did not come with the silicon surround.

But still, retard!

The 'White' Nintendo helis should make this woman dissapear.

Selfish worm targets month-old Windows flaw

@Ted...

Too right!

"Exploits of MS08-067 have been reported" - Sounds like something from a bad hollywood zombie movie...

MS: Xbox will not go Blu

@ James Sherwood

indeed.

Serial troll bitchslaps Reg hack

Wow...

Did anybody else notice the abuse of the word "about"...?

Sainsbury's punts 'Innocent kids juices' for £2.99

Tesco...

...made the exact same problem.

16-card GPU bangs-per-buck mega shoot out

What I really want to know is

Will it blend?

Mine's the one with an AGP card... PCIe? What's that!?

Dutch unlocked iPhone site takes €700,000 then goes offline

Ouch!

Hence the reason I buy direct! What kind of money back can those people get? Anyone know? Sounds like a big fat nothing.

Mine's the one without the iPhone.

iPhone apps selling like hot cakes

Refund? I wouldn't stop there!

I'd go as far as charging them for my time installing the magically-disappearing app and then charging them for my time spent scratching my head, wondering where my $1000 app went.

@Apple, you suck. This is all just a little too underhanded.

Ten of the Best... Bluetooth Headsets

What I want to see is...

A selection of bluetooth headsets that sit well in a full face bike helmet.

I own a small bluetooth headset (the name and model eludes me) no wider than 15mm, yet still doesn't sit well in my helmet.

Teens admit to Grand Theft Auto-inspired petrol bombfest

stop thinking outside the box

It's simple, the game has an 18 certification, blame the fat parents.

Flame, well, it's obvious isn't it?

Secret of invisibility unravelled by US researchers

uhm, quite a few flaws.

Granted, you MAY make the tank invisible, but that will only work when it's sat still. Have you ever seen a tank barreling across desert at 50mph? Are they planning on making the dust it kicks up invisible? There's so many things wrong with this, I give up.

'Carbon neutral' Dell's wind-blowing pays off

Really?

How many carbon credits are they buying from other truly green companys?

or is this a case of outsourcing, thus not including 90% of the company?

PH, She has her own energy policy don't you know?

Apple's secret iPhone app blacklist

Prophet David Ike?

Dialing home you say?

where's David Ike when you need him?!

Wünderbra! German policewomen take 'Action Brassiere'

(not all at once...)

I was trying to drink my cold tea, you now owe me a new keyboard.

Sumerians cracked world's oldest joke

nice

Why did it take me three days to read this story? I loved the comments more than the story!

Thailand bans GTA after video game style murder

Why is this bad?

When aliens arrive and we gamers have to go save the planet with a crow-bar and the local Barney you'll thank us...

US customs: Yes, we can seize your laptop, iPod

@Andy & @Patrick Boyd

read again. not if the envelope is in your possesion. It only counts whilst the mail is in transit with a mail carrier (not courier).

BOFH: Server room secret panels

this one's pretty self-explanatory

Good one! Question is, when's the PFY getting Simon back for the job reference?

IT career virgins need a cherry on top

High Five for me.

It's stories like this that make me very glad I didn't go to College or University and skipped straight into the workplace.

@ The secret to IT

By Patrick

You've hit the nail on the head. I, luckily, worked this out when I was 18 and have lived by it since.

Lateral thought saves sizzling server

@ Pooper Scooper

ditto.

HP packaging madness continues apace

Cisco

never ordered memory from across the pond for some cisco devices?

now that is ridiculous!

PH knows all the best things come in large packages.

BOFH: The admin gene

generator

It's hearing the generators kicking in outside to backup the ups' before the users see the plume of diesel...

It's seeing the lights dim one time and being called 'crazy' when you put on your tin foil hat.

PH, she also knows what to do when the lights dim. ;)

YouTube rant missus hauled into court

it's one thing to

Its one thing to shout abuse / slander at your spouse / friend / neighbour behind closed doors, but to broadcast it on such a massive medium is just not nice... maybe I'm just too polite.

I agree, free speech, but come on love, get back in the kitchen.

Devil dog laughs in the face of Taser

cest la vie

Life's a bitch, then they kill yours!

@ Ian Brown

L O L

CherryPal out sweetens Apple with 2W, ultra-cheap PC

Web Audio

I hate any site with audio you cannot turn off! C'mon! Sort it!

UK prisoners offered data cabling training

Can nobody smell history repeating?

So, you're in Jail, you get accepted for this networking course, you then get a job in AUS as it's on their preferred skills list.

:)

Mine's the one with the visa, first come first served.

Boffins: Roadrunner hypercomputer could drive a car

Cool? I don't think so.

<joke>Besides, what's so great about this? Even PH can drive a car!</joke>

Ofcom slaps MTV with £255k fine

Could you repeat that?

<SLAM>!

BOFH: Dealing with engineers

Engineer...

Please tell me he took the lift. :)

Wikipedia kills Greatest Show On Earth

@Elmer Phud

brilliant.

Daily Mail cites video game as proof of terrorist doomsday plot

Top class!

Epic Fail : Daily Mail.

Mines the power armour with the water purifier.

BOFH: The Batcave

Helipad?

Maybe a Helipad they could launch things off? :) we all want one of those.

Maybe even use it as a driving range with some less than legal golf balls (I can guarantee AC knows what I'm talking about!!).

First public Firefox 3 candidate shoots out the door

simply opt out?

Almost everyday you have to opt-out of something or other so what's one more?

PH, because her data's already been farmed...

BOFH: Shiny new computer room

nice one

This happened to me about 2 months ago, didn't get out of it so easily though.

PH because she knows all about "Could be 20 years, could be 20 minutes"...