Posts by Pascal Monett

Sex game bloke traps modesty in padlock

Let me see

He clicks on a link that clearly states "SEX" in the title, and he's ranting about not seeing an IT angle ? What was he expecting, a bluetooth-enabled vibrator ?

Really, some people urgently need a sense of humor.

Byrne explains the UK's wondrous, biometric, ID card future

But people . .

Instant lock-down on stolen MP3 players ! Isn't that worth giving up your freedom, sanity and next hundred years of income tax ?

Come on ! How about a bit of patriotism here ? Get with the program already ! Won't it be a wonderful world when you can swipe your ID in your MP3 player, knowing that it is entirely secure from theft and that you've just been credited £1.24 for the BPI to help a needy pigopolist snort his next line of white ?

Really, all these counter-arguments do not hold water. Bunch of communists !

Texas cops taser diabetic seizure man

Assaulted ?

A group of armed, healthy cops felt threatened by a diabetic lying on a bed ?

Thank God they had tasers. I shudder to think of the mess if they had only had guns.

And the anonymous guy that precedes me is right. The rest of the world has this kind of incident like once every 600 days. In the US, it's more like once a week (and those are the stories we hear of). How can you possibly expect people to not infer that the whole country is full of trigger-happy fraidy-cat cops ?

I acknowledge the existence of PHD-holding officers of the law, but really there aren't enough of those. Besides, complaining that people generalize police dumbness, then stating that you know one guy with a badge and a PHD is not really a counterargument. You're just generalizing the other way around.

Consumers happy to pay 'green premium'

Nonsense !

There's plenty of people that have spent loads of dosh on pricey, silvery, branded underpowered stuff. How many Apple users are there already ? And Apple is even become environment friendly !

Okay, let me just get my flame-retardant asbestos coat . . .

Need hard facts? Try Conservapedia

Here we go again

Another nutcase web site for a bunch a fruitcake ideas. As if we needed right-wing Bible-thumpers to be pitched against left-wing Bible-thumpers. In end, neither of the kind admit any criticism from anywhere.

I hate opedias. From now on, I'm only reading Universalis. At least there, the angst and arguments get handled BEFORE I read the article.

Say goodbye to Office 2003, Microsoft tells PC builders

Office what ?

2007 ? Sheesh. I'm still using Office 2000. I've got friends using Office 95. Any other version just adds stuff you never use.

Opera tries to out-do the iPhone

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a . . . .

I use a 21" screen to surf the Web, with a proper keyboard and mouse and an 8Mbps connection.

The day has not come when a phone will be able to give me that experience.

Meanwhile, I just couldn't care less what browser runs on what phone. I use my phone for phoning.

Ubuntu chief mua muas Microsoft

Bashing Chamberlain ?

Nonsense. You need to update your references. That activity may have been popular in the last century, but since the start of the current one, Americans have been busy bashing the French. Besides, most Americans probably don't even know who this Chamberlain chap is.

It would also be time for Microsoft to update its references. SCO has tried and failed to dent Free Software's reputation and integrity - with help from Microsoft. It's no use for Ballmer to go it alone now, he won't do any better for all the reasons already invoked above.

No, it would be better for MS to port DirectX to Linux - without opening the librairies if it wants to. Now THAT would be a bold move !

Apple toughens iPhone screen, boosts battery life

One question

Is the glass bullet-proof ? That would be innovative !

And to the first poster : an amply-buttocked female will have the necessary circumference to allow the iPhone to be protected. It's the anorexic ones in skin-tight jeans that will break them just by walking.

Google launches self-protection blog

Alert !

There is now officially a "Googley way". So, for anyone that had a doubt, doubt no more. Google is an international monopoly, It has joined the Dark Side and is now traveling down the blue-red-green-yellow brick road to perdition.

Do no evil ? That is now a marketing scheme.

HP's Hurd can't dance, but he can preach BT

30% on maintenance ?

Employee alert ! Be ready for a new and vastly improved layoff program ! Hurd wants to cut 50% of the workforce ! Better get your CVs updated, people ! The Way is just about to pass you by.

AT&T sued by poor man's Formula 1

Wait a minute

NASCAR tracks are still ovals, right ? So the drivers basically always turn in the same direction. Sounds pretty poor to me.

Cops smash paedophile ring

Brilliant !

I'm quite happy that 700 paedophiles have been nabbed. As has been said above, I'd like to be sure that they're ALL paedophiles though. I can't think of anything worse than to be falsely accused of being a child abuser. I can very well understand those that have taken their lives during the ill-fated Operation Ore. It is well and good that this instance of despicable activity has been dismantled, but let us ensure that everyone that has been arrested is indeed guilty before letting the dogs at them.

Dutch police arrest 111 West Africans in 419 clampdown

Gullibility

has always been, is and always will be a source of amusement for those smart enough not to have been taken. It has nothing to do with the times we live in, and everything to do with the social need to recognize one's place in the ladder and be recognized for it. This is a basic law of human behavior that is probably studied in the first year of psychology.

Sony apologies over virtual cathedral firefight

Sony sees no connection

<<it said did not believe "there is any connection between contemporary issues in 21st Century Manchester and the work of science fiction in which a fictitious 1950s Britain is under attack by aliens".>>

But the Church of England does. Does that mean that the CoE knows something we don't ? Does the Archbishop of Canterbury have a Batcave from where he directs special Angel hit-squads defending London from alien invasion ?

I think we should be told.

Sony ponders PS3 price cut

Break-Out ?

Oh, you mean like Arkanoid that I just downloaded for nothing on an Abandonware site ? Or maybe you mean Lode Runner, that I got for just as much in the same place ?

Sony would make me laugh if it didn't disgust me so much. I'm a PC gamer, and frankly, I see nothing in PS3 or 360 that could even remotely incite me to change.

On my platform, I can play extraordinarily good games, the latest out, the ones from five years ago, and even games from consoles via emulators.

Frankly, Sony gives me no incentive whatsoever to buy its product: It's expensive, has only a handful of games, can only play a handful more, and it doesn't look all that good either (no better than my 8800 GTS anyway).

PC gaming is far from dead, from my point of view.

Britney's new album title - can you help?

Well I'll say

There certainly doesn't seem to be a lot of B's fans on El Reg, which is normal, since they can't read.

And given that fact, what's the use of a title anyway ? Just slap a pic of the thong she doesn't wear on the cover. I'm sure her "fans" will instantly recognize the source !

Pfizer worker data leaked via P2P

Another laptop leak

My, what a surprise ! It's incredible ! Can you imagine that ? Someone has a laptop, and access to personal information, and all of a sudden we find the personal info on the laptop, and the laptop compromised. How extraordinary ! I mean, it's only the 100th time this has happened, right ? How could anyone ever imagine in their wildest dreams that it would happen, like, again ?

You know what the solution will be ? I don't, but I know one thing : nothing is going to change until the Vice-President of the USA gets HIS details leaked and somehow finds himself with a bad credit rating and tens of millions of debt. THEN, all of a sudden, some laws will be passed and the government will clamp down on the IT security like there's no tomorrow. Meanwhile, there's gonna be a million more incidents like this, likely meaning that whole population of the USA will have had their private details leaked at least once.

Man am I glad I don't live in that country !

George Bush's watch clocked on eBay

Just a reminder

Anti-Bush bashing will not be lame before the day the idiot gets thrown out of the Oval Office. Until that day comes, he is quite capable of dragging his country into yet another pointless conflict, causing tens of thousands of additional useless deaths (but not his !) and creating immeasurable chaos that will take decades to overcome.

For that reason, it is perfectly justified to bash Bush, since nobody has the cojones to impeach him. Unless some White House girl gets enough courage to give him a blowjob ? Apparently having patently lied to drag his country into a war is not enough.

Pascal.

FBI logs its millionth zombie address

I say detect and delete

Victims of malware should be detected and their ISP informed. Once that is done, the ISP should email the victim with an explanation and a warning that, if nothing is done within 30 days, their access will be cut off.

Repeat the message every seven days until something is done or the cutoff date arrives. If nothing is done, cut them off.

When the user calls to complain, have someone ready at the call center to help the user purge the PC or reinstall it (yes, this is going to be the most costly part). When the PC is clean, service may resume.

For the inevitable cranky user, a reminder that Federal law can consider that he is an e-terrorist and can thus be deported to Guantanamo without trial should cut off quite an amount of steam.

Microsoft clarifies Windows Server virtual licensing

Unwittingly ?

Frankly, that is rubbish. Windows is the desktop OS on more than 90% of all PCs. With that kind of market share, it is not possible to implement complicated license rules concerning CPUs - MS would waste a whole department of lawyers to try and keep track of all the possible variations.

No, per CPU licensing seems the only choice, and too bad if Open-Source movements have already adopted that same choice. As far as managing the situation, there simply is no other solution that is as easy to implement and control.

Apple's Safari lacks bold vision

Safari better on XP than Vista ?

Well there's no problem then. Nobody sane uses Vista, so the issues are moot.

(on track to change the Windows vs Mac war to a Vista vs XP war ;-).

Anyway, I really like this kind of thread for the snide remarks - "none of them (read us) really give a monkey's whatsits about what browser you use on your virus, I mean, on windows".

Spot on ! Five stars there.

Privacy chief warns EU on terror laws

Well, Mr. Campbell

What am I up to ? Nothing worse than you, only I don't think it's any of your business to know. And I have a right to keep that information from you, until the day information nazis like you take over the government. That day, you'll probably be right - because I'll be preparing a revolt.

Even the paranoid are right sometimes, but the paranoid who trample over everybody else's life and privacy are usually right more often than the armchair dictators.

EFF lawyer is smokin' on Google Street View

Utterly insane, yet . .

What is Google supposed to do to ensure that the complainant has a right to complain ? If Google doesn't have a modicum of ID to verify, well then any Tom, Dick & Harry can have any pic removed for the simple reason that they don't like it. I'm not too hot on the idea that I can be snapped in a slightly embarrassing pose, but I'm a lot less hot on the idea that anyone can arbitrarily have a pic removed without any check or balance.

Newegg turns to tech publishing

In principle, I like user reviews

Contrary to blogs, user reviews generally concern people who have bought the thing and are giving an informed opinion on how well it holds up to their expectations. Thus, on the usefulness scale it normally doesn't score too badly - trolls are more or less uninterested and the illiterate make minimal efforts to get their point across.

Of course, as soon as you get a Wiki environment, you get people who think "ruse" is written "roose", then you get the guy who corrects that, then you get the original author correcting it back, then you get someone posting a goatse link, and then it all gets shot to hell as far as usefulness is concerned.

Wiki is the triumph of the uninformed, much like democracy today. Oh wait, that makes it okay, doesn't it ?

Users attacked by mysterious AIM buddies

Half our buddies are bots then ?

Looks like our lizard overlords are already teaching us to interact with their underlings. Makes for better population control, I think.

Physics GCSE: 'insultingly easy, non scientific, and vague'

What's this ?

"Teachers, meanwhile, are expected to help further the government's social goals, rather than impart knowledge to their students."

So teachers have become social workers now ? Who is going to do the teaching, then ? You know, bashing students over the head with why Kelvin temperatures can never be negative ?

If the scholarship curriculum devotes itself to the warm and fuzzy domain of "getting a feel of things", who is going to teach people the Law of Energy Conservation, and prevent snake-oil salesmen from selling the latest perpetual motion machine ?

Feels like we're all going to end up a bunch of mouth-breathing couch potatoes in a decade or four. On the other hand, it probably means the great return of the caveman method for getting laid : big bash on the head with club, and drag by hair to soft spot in grass. Oh well, at least what's left of Humanity will still have _some_ fun in the future.

Google adds PowerPoint viewer to Gmail

Dreams are nice

Pie-in-the-sky thoughts about Google taking over Microsoft with hosted apps are certainly warm and fuzzy, but do not seem very realistic.

First of all, using hosted apps is well and fine, as long as your DSL line remains functional. From what I've read lately, that is something of an issue in the UK, and it's not guaranteed elsewhere either. Once your DSL line is down, what do you do ? Play Minesweeper ?

Second, nobody is better placed for putting Microsoft down than Microsoft itself. Windows Me was a disaster, but MS carried on without a hitch. Vista is becoming a PR nightmare, but I don't think that will affect Ballmer's share price. Windows remains the professional desktop of choice, and when the DSL line doesn't work, the OS still can - as long as the current is flowing. And electricity is a tad more reliable than DSL, I'd say.

Boffins put encrypted bio-copyright watermarks in beer DNA

How wonderful

Now Monsanto has yet another tool to protect its IP. I am so grateful to these Vaterland boffins, they really have accomplished something grand.

Actually, I do hope this system is generalized on all GM crop, and when a farmer finds GM stuff in his non-GM field, he should get the watermark and sue the pants off the owner of said watermark.

Because a watermark can work both ways - if it is unique, then it follows that a farmer can also use it in his defense.

Not all ideas benefit only the pigopolists.

Pascal.

US lawyer ranking site raises attorney's hackles

The usual double standards

Seems to me that any customer satisfaction rating is acceptable if it is honest, so I fail to see why lawyers would be exempt. The only difference, obviously, is that for anyone else, they have to call a lawyer if they don't agree. Here we have lawyers acting in their own interest.

And we all know how well lawyers defend their own interest, don't we ?

Google opens up AdWords for scrutiny

My ads are already well-targeted

I use AdBlocker, and it targets ads very well, thank you.

Apple's Safari 3: a crashing experience for non-US users

Seems like a few development iterations are in order

Not to worry. In around five years Safari just might be worthy of the attention it seeks to garner. In the meantime, it seems it has more clunk than bling. Not a problem anyroad, people can use Firefox until Safari is fit for use.

Better privacy policies can make money, finds P3P study

Great

So now the privacy I have a constitutional right to is something I am going to have to pay for to actually have in effect - that is, until some government decides it wants my details anyway, at which point a low-level cop will just wave his badge and expect all my details to be handed over.

Something about the world, a destination and a handbasket comes to mind.

One billion PCs in use in 2008

A billion more in 2015 ?

If that new billion is from China and India, I think we can expect a tenfold increase in spam. Oh my God.

Puddles on Mars, aerospace boffin claims

Wait a minute

The martian atmosphere seems to be quite a magical place. In the same article I am told that, on the one hand, it is a virtual "hard vacuum" (whatever that means I retain vacuum as the principle adjective), and on the other, there are winds that disturb water sublimation.

Okay, so which way is it ? If there's wind, then there cannot be a vacuum. If there's a vacuum, then there's no air to make a wind with.

There has got to be a mistake somewhere.

Jobs: one more thing... a browser war

Safari ?

If it's any good, it'll get its chance. I'm always ready to try a new browser, I don't care what the name is or where it's from. But, it has to be secure, it has to allow extensions, it has to block pop-ups and, ideally, it should allow me to also block unwanted images and iframes.

Having never used Safari, I don't have an opinion on it, but I must admit that Jobs touting - what was that again ? speed in tab swapping ? Who does that ?

Not me. So I guess that is to be filed in the bling glass cabinet.

Okay, Steve, so we've got bling. Got anything actually useful to talk about ?

FCC's ban on 'fleeting expletives' ruled unconstitutional

But why . .

Why don't they just ban children looking at TV ? Or why don't they make a law stating that it is illegal to let children watch TV after a given hour ?

These music awards, they didn't get broadcast at 4 P.M., right ? What is a child (meaning under 13 years) doing in front of the TV after 8 P.M. anyway ?

Oh, I forgot. This is America - the Land of the Free From Responsibility. Anything goes, as long as the Reverend approves.

And the Reverend approves of killing, we all know that. But swearing ? God no.

Large-scale DOS attack menace continues to grow

Check the facts

I have already read that Chinese PCs come with a hacked Windows 98 or XP, and the owners do next to nothing to secure them.

If such lore is true, then it is hardly surprising that China be home to the greatest concentration of malware - it's almost a hacker paradise !

In European countries and in America, there is a large and growing pool of experienced PC users, people that can educate other users about the threats and the solutions. In China they are learning everything at once, and not many are capable of helping - yet.

So I believe that every condition is realised for making China the biggest malware home of the planet.

Pascal.

C of E blasts 'sacrilegious' Sony shoot-'em-up

Visualized without permission ?

Hmm, a rather interesting argument they've got there. I understand the reaction since Sony is selling a game, thus making a profit, and we all know that, historically, all Churches (be it Roman Catholic or CoE version) have roundly and repeatedly condemned any profit not made by themselves.

That, plus the fact that there is no copyright on cathedrals, makes me think that this particular spat has no legs to stand on. I have no love for Sony, far be it, but hey, cathedrals do tend to look a lot alike when you don't have a masters in History or Architecture.

And I do believe there is prior art, here ? Lacking that, there's at least a dozen other versions ?

No, what is clear is that the CoE wants a contribution from Sony in return for turning a benignly blind eye to the blasphemous market. It seems equally clear that Sony can argue that, once upon a time, churches were basically marketplaces, with a booth at the rear for the faithful to pray while trussed chickens were exchanged for hard currency just a few feet away.

This issue is going to be fun to follow, in any case, but it will be solved in a back room and away from the spotlight.

And Sony will contribute. With the feeble amount of goodwill it can benefit from at this time, it cannot afford to raise a ruckus against a religious emissary. Not now in any case.

Pascal.

Priapic litigant sues health drink outfit

Oh come on

A certain Mr. Woods, with a case of priapic engorgement ? This has to be a fabrication. I thought April was long passed though.

Microsoft puts in Stirling work for unified security Nirvana

Yay ! Way to go Microsoft !

Brilliant idea there. Putting everything in the same basket - it really does simplify the life for all those hackers out there that are just begging for a new chance to ridicule you.

And given the stellar performance you have up to now when it comes to securely programming vast amounts of code for complex projects, I fail to see how this can be interpreted in any other manner than "giving your enemy the stick to beat you with".

Oh well, I suppose you have to do SOMETHING to occupy all those millions of admins in the world. And you have top grades in that area, no doubt about it.

Boffin debunks Bush's climate claims

Impossible to believe

Personally I cannot believe a word that that maniac says. Dubya has lied about everything in his life, from his time in the Air Force - studiously staying out of Vietnam and even out of the cockpit he was supposed to be in, to WMDs and so-called ties between Iraq and Al Qeida.

This man is delusional and belongs in an institute under the care of proper medical personnel, not in the position of the leader of the most powerful military force in the world.

Dutch boffins tout green petri-dish synthetic meat

It's all part of the plan . .

. . to prepare for the arrival of our noodly overlords from another planet. Actually, these so-called scientists are hardly of scientific origin, nor are they Dutch. They are bio-reformers from mu Ara b, currently posing as humans via Internet chat rooms - but nobody has ever seen them.

This report heralds the coming of the Fryers, who will throw this artificial product into great vats of boiling oil in order to serve as starters when the Rulers arrive.

Hey, it's as good a reason as any to throw a party, right ?

;-)

Bill Gates nicks Larry Ellison's health center

"The last thing this planet needs is more people"

Well it seems to me that we're already doing a bang-up job in keeping the numbers down - by simply ignoring Darfur, for example (one of many, actually).

Microsoft still just re-Surfacing Windows

Sorry ? Whassat you say ?

"the ability to merge home, office, and vehicle will greatly improve their quality of life"

What workaholic on crack decided it was a Good Thing to "merge" work and home in their vehicle ? That might be a good idea for those who cannot live without their job and work 18 hours a day, but for the rest of us, work is something to be kept as far away from home as possible.

And a car is for driving. You guys with chauffeurs have a different set of problems than we do, but you're the minority.

Leave my home and personal life alone !

Belgian army faces hairy caterpillar horde

Goodness me, flamethrowers in the Ardennes !

They're going to burn the blighters off the trees ? Doesn't that mean that the trees will catch fire ? Or are they in pairs because one has the flamethrower and the other has the water reservoir ? Or are they doing this Vietnam-style, calling in the jets to blanket the area in napalm ? Should we retreat to our basements until the all-clear sounds ?

I think we should be told.

Personal numbers must carry cost warning, says regulator

Gotta love the excuse

"Ofcom would have helped if . . " he had paid the India-based call center instead of sending a memo, and including a board member on top of that. What cheek !

"Officer, help me !"

"Sorry ma'am, you have to dial 911 first".

Yeah, that sounds like a great excuse. Keep up the good work, Ofcom, you're being more appreciated every day.

Spam King arrested in Seattle

Hang him !

No need to waste more time with him then with his spam. I delete the results of his activities in a few seconds, I suggest we should delete him with the same speed.

Brocade and Mercury rain cash on SEC to settle charges

Without admitting guilt ?

Nice try guys, but since you are paying, you're guilty. Because if you were innocent, you would go to court.

And I'll even say you might be innocent of what you are accused of, but by covering up and throwing the blanket over the proceedings, you're just signaling that you are guilty of something, anything, and you know it.

So you prefer to pay before the truth hits the media and we find out just exactly what kind of scumbags you really are.

You're not fooling me.

Google ducks angry authors

I beg your pardon ?

"the wisdom of crowds"

Say what ? Crowds, wisdom, Wikipedia ? Somebody had better tell the kid that Wiki has bombed. Even some of the former founders have declared that Wikipedia will never be totally reliable - unless you're interested in learning Klingon, of course.

As for me, I'll take a library over a snob-edited website any day. In a library, I know that books are organized by someone who spent years learning just what organization is and how it's done, not like that travesty of an encyclopedia where true experts are trounced by losers whose only merit is to have more time to comment on the site.

There is a long way to go before crowds have wisdom, and given the state of American education at this time, I won't be holding my breath waiting for it.