Posts by Pascal Monett

Tinfoil Condition Red! LHC 7 TeV mega-blasts today

Oh dear !

The armchair prophets are in a turmoil ! The end is nigh !

Excuse me while I consider the vast implications of the proclamations made by wise entities who haven't got a clue.

Hmm, seems to me there are no implications. Sounds rather like Paco Rabanne prophetizing the dreadful land-impact of Mir, and in the end such pie-in-the-sky foretellers will be proven to be just as wrong as he was.

I mean really, if it was so easy to divine the end of the world, given the number of times I've had Jehovah's Witnesses falling over themselves to warn me I think we'd already be done with the whole thing and playing our harps in the rosy clouds.

No, the world is not going to end. Not before the Sun goes nova anyway. Suck it up, doomsayers, and go rant about porcine fever or something.

Apple uncloaks deep details of its 11 iPad apps

Speaking of batteries . .

Can you replace them on this Pad thingy, or does Apple once again expect you to buy another one when the battery dies ?

Facebook prepares for another privacy row with its users

"we look forward to providing ... new privacy controls"

And we look forward to watching just how badly those fail.

Are you a 'supertasker'? Probably not

One question

Are those supertaskers also superjerks ?

What are the odds ?

Free anti-virus scanner hits the cloud

free scans

I know I only use freebie scanners nowadays. No local impact when I don't want it, and up-to-date scan engine are the advantages for me.

Getting drunk the night before has no effect on exam results

Sorry, could you repeat that ?

Excessive drinking is not a problem, but a higher dose of alcohol might be ?

When you're drinking to excess already, how can the dose get any higher ?

Sorry, Uni was a long time ago.

Russia to crack down on abuse of .ru addresses

Sounds good to me

Anything that puts roadblocks in place to keep spam from getting to me is good in my book.

Unfortunately, I'm not going to believe that this is going to solve the problem - spammers and other Internet lowlifes will just sign up with another country to do their business.

The question is : which country will take over as spammer haven ?

Register.com argues it can't be sued for negligence

Ordinary negligence

So, failing to ensure that the customer you think you are dealing with is actually the right one is just "ordinary" negligence ?

I've got to find Bill Gates' bank teller and have him wire me a billion off of "my" account.

Let's see what kind of negligence THAT would be !

Home Office planning to brick version 1 ID cards in 2012?

A replacement whip ?

Why, nothing to worry about good sir ! We have a storage shed full of those. And we have about £100 million budgeted for their replacement.

In your friendly government institutions, the one thing we shall not brook is missing whips. It is what makes the day bearable, you see. So, when one is broken, you just call up the Stationary department and ask for a new one, which is dropped off in a priority procedure within the next ten minutes.

So you see, you needn't worry about our whips, dear Sir, we are taking very good care of those.

Very good care, indeed.

PayPal enables cash-by-slap

Sounds like another failure in the making

Let me sum up the indicators :

- the exact time

- the rough location

- the force of the bump as measured by the accelerometer

- various other clues

Time is maybe the indicator with the most probability of exactitude, except that there is no guarantee that the two phones have the exact same time. So it'll be the exact same time within a given number of many milliseconds.

The location is charted probably following triangulation. Without other reference, you could be giving your cash to anybody in a 10-yard radius.

The force of the bump. Okay, one question : how accurate are those accelerometers ? Two random phones have what probability of containing similarly-accurate accelerometers ? Is this really needed ?

Frankly, I'd be more inspired by a solution that said "place the two phones together within 3 inches of each other and then authorize the transaction manually - the phones will sense their closest neighbor and, when authorized, complete the transfer".

In that kind of solution, there is no timestamp, no hazardous evaluation of location, no worry about someone else butting in. It's just the phone that is closest to yours, detected by BlueTooth or something similar. That would be just about as reliable and fool-proof as you can get.

Hidden Windows 7 costs worry upgraders

"sweet as a nut"

Personally, I don't find nuts sweet, but rather bland. Either that or totally annoying.

But I'm sure that's just me.

Half of the bloat ?

Don't worry, that old XP bloat has been removed and replaced with some brand new, shiny Vista bloat that we're going to get to keep for the next 50 years.

There you go, all happy now, right ?

IE9 - the big questions and Microsoft's half answers

"no reason why they can't code IE9 to run in a sandbox"

Oh yes there is : it's because IE is "tied into the OS at the system level"

or somesuch rubbish like that if I recall correctly the minutes of the DOJ trial.

And, given that the DOJ lost its balls somewhere between dragging MS to court and actually wanting justice done, nothing has been done about it since.

Madoff geeks charged for writing book-cooking code

"they'd have been out on their backsides"

Yes, you are wrong and need to re-read the article.

Not only did they not contact any authorities whatsoever, but they did the job knowing the fraud consequences, profited from the results and added what sounds like a bit of blackmail on the side to increase their share of the spoils.

That is not honest work by any stretch of the word.

So hang 'em high ! Next to Maddof preferably.

Cybercrime's bulletproof hosting exposed

think before you post

Agreed, but trolls don't think.

At least, not the way we do.

Google Apps punts kill-Microsoft-Exchange-now tool

Wonderful news, except for one thing

I'm all for obliterating Exchange and Outlook from the face of the Earth, and anything furthering that end is welcome to me.

Except that replacing a bug-infested, malware-friendly platform with one that is unproven (because beta, eh?), insecure and managed by an ad broker is not exactly the smartest of moves.

And whoever does it, I'm sure of one thing : marketing and accounting are NOT going to put sensitive data on a 3rd-party server hosted somewhere in a cloud that can't reach and much less manage.

Don't agree ? Then think of this : do you really think that management wants to risk putting records of its bonuses on a server they can't be sure is secure ?

Game developer's lost electric buggy FOUND ON MOON

Return to your cave, troll

Or to your delusions, whichever applies.

Google China uncensors verboten tank man

Nice substitution argument

You sir, are a troll.

Pirate Bay blocking row silenced in Norway

Hats off to Telenor

The only ISP in the world where management actually has balls.

China warns Google over uncensored search threat

They don't need to

They make it up as they go. You don't agree, you wind up in a camp. With luck, you might survive.

Former model sues Universal over 'x-rated prop' outrage

"the snap languished in stock photo agencies"

Sorry honey, but if a pic of you is in a "stock photo" database, it means you've already waived all rights to it.

And you know it.

So this is just a publicity stunt.

Of course, you may not realize that the publicity is not for you. Your picture was a prop in a film, now your name is a prop in a headline-grabbing gesture that has no legal chance to go anywhere, but might just get a lawyer a name.

Meanwhile, the only thing you will have managed is that, by calling attention to your name and pics, there will suddenly be a lot more guys cracking one off to you.

I hope you like soggy spotlights.

'We're on a virtual walk out of Africa', futurologist tells Intel partners

OK, I wasn't there

but still, how can 3D, massively parallel processors and terabytes of storage equal human intelligence ?

That's a bit like saying I've got a cow, a field of wheat and another of tomatoes, great I can make a hamburger. Ultimately, I could, but there are, erm, a few intermediate steps.

Right now, as far as artificial consciousness or intelligence is concerned, we are at the cow stage. We know where we want to go, but nobody has any idea of how to get to the hamburger yet.

And until we understand exactly how the human brain functions, you can throw as many miniaturized transistors on whatever technology you want, we won't know how to put it all together to make it work.

And that is just the hardware side of things....

SCO's Linux litigation architect angles for SCO's mobile biz

Amen

to that

Is it ta-ta for Flash?

Should have known

Yeah, it's cool.

So ?

What a waste of bandwidth.

Large Hadron Collider briefly back on over weekend

Know what ?

There's a reason it's called "research" - it's because it's never been done before.

Not on such a scale, not with such complexity, not at such temperatures.

When you can buy an LHC off Ebay, then you can complain about it not working 100% on the first go.

And at that point, Ebay will probably tell you to re-read the 2.5 trillion page manual before logging the complaint in the first place.

Fnarr, fnarr.

DarkMarket founder jailed for five years

A former pizza man ?

I find it harder and harder to believe in the "safety" and "security" of the whole credit card scheme if a mere pizza delivery boy, heck, even a pizzaiolo, can set up a scheme like this and pull it off for so long.

Microsoft warns over rogue Security Essentials

Nothing to fear

I already don't trust Microsoft for its "security" essentials, so I certainly won't be downloading any kind of copy from an unknown source. Or even from a known source.

I have my computer security essentials since years ago :

- a hardware firewall, admin password changed and properly configured

- IE relegated to the status of secondary browser for specific needs. Most browsing done with Firefox configured with NoScript and AdBlock

- MSN banned from the house

- regular scans made with online scanning tools from official sites

Guess what ? I have no issues with my PC.

And Microsoft is certainly not going to change that, with or without its Essentials.

Apple uncovers child workers in its plants

Agreed

It would seem that the risk of child labor is somewhat of a "normal" business risk in some countries. Good on Apple for dealing with it professionally.

It is a shame that the kids only got discovered when they were finally of legal age, but I don't think you can fault Apple for not trying.

Facebook patents user news feed

It is no longer the US Patent "Office"

It is now the US Patent Lottery.

US Navy SEALs' new airlock minisub - made in Blighty

You must be new here

El Reg does not support 'the military-industrial-entertainment". El Reg does support any good point for Britain's industry and know-how, as well as giving brownie points for anything that supports its troops efficiently.

As for your slur on the honorable men that take risks beyond your imagination and put their lives on the line at the whim of paper pushers way higher up on the food chain, I prefer not to respond.

Microsoft slams nails in Windows Vista, XP SP2, 2000

One question

When is MS going to issue a Windows Activation Patch for XP then ?

To remove the need for activation, obviously.

Because, if it soooo obsolete, and not even sold anymore, then they don't need to control its use, right ?

So ?

Woman sues 50 Cent over sex vid leak

She got her 15 minutes of fame

And has obviously decided it was not enough.

Come on girl, you're fooling no one. When you're in an honest relationship with someone, you don't film the sex you have and you most certainly don't have someone else film it.

You get filmed while getting bonked means you know the film is going to hit the intertubes and you probably got paid to do it anyway.

In any case, having sex with a camera rolling means that you risk more than just STDs.

German jugs pulled from iPhone

"explain the rules"

I thought it was already self-evident. The rules are whataver His Jobsness decides they are when he gets up in the morning.

A serious, professional business sets guidelines that are clear and then enforces them mercilessly. Apple, in not having set clear guidelines and enforcing rules that are known after the fact, is seriously putting itself forth as not being a professional business environment.

That, of course, irks the other professional businesses to no end. And they will rock the Apple boat until the situation clears up : either Apple stops inventing new rules without telling anyone until the cat is already out of the bag, or these important corporations will probably stop playing with Apple.

And that, in the long run, is going to hurt Apple more than help it.

Talking about the bottom line, of course.

Because you can go on and on about how the "little" developers will always be coming to the Apple "platform", once enough of them have had their app yanked without explanation, there WILL be backlash.

And everyone knows how hard it is to recover from burning your developers.

Well, everyone except Apple, apparently.

Yahoo! turns! Twitter! firehose! on! self!

Oh great

The sewer spewer has gotten an extension to its territory. Glee.

Or not.

In any case, that definitely signs the death of the Yahoo bookmark on my browser.

Vodafone Ireland admits pocketing dormant PAYG cash

Ah, sweet justified outrage

It's good to go out and rage at something now and then, eh, Chief Executive ? Taking the moral high ground is such a rush.

So Vodaphone is a thief and picking pockets of innocent people ? Consumers should "vote with their feet" on the matter ?

Well I guess that, if their account is unused for the past nine months, they already _have_ voted "with their feet".

And, by all accounts, a nine-month delay is quite a luxurious one, given what standards are in use in other countries.

Oh, and there is the ever-so-small issue of the accounts that are untraceable. What would the Chief Executive want Vodaphone to do with those accounts ? Send him the money, maybe ?

Yes, it is surely that.

All in the name of justice, of course.

ODF's doomed mission to break into Microsoft Office

Not surprised in the least

Given that Microsoft Office versions have proven not always compatible between themselves, it is only just that Microsoft owns up to the fact that saving them in ODF format will not make things better. Microsoft has never implemented anyone else's standard without tweaking it, changing it, and finally strangling it where possible.

And, from a technical point of view, one must not forget that a file format is nothing but a data and function descriptor destined to be read by the appropriate application. If Word/Excel 2010 have functions that are not describable in ODF, then you cannot honestly expect the format to be able to save that information in a way that can be read later. That said, I fail to see how that could be the case. Even functions that only exist in Office 2010 should be describable in ODF format, although they will not be useable in Open Office, obviously. But of course, I'm not technical enough to know if that is actually possible.

I think this is just a case where Microsoft is being honest. Of course, it won't help Microsoft in the least, but this conspiracy mentality is a bit over-the-top in this case.

Google unveils one ad server to rule them all

127.0.0.1 double*

Just put that in your hosts file and be done with it.

Twitter bomb threat joke man faces possible jail sentence

None

Because if they really think he's a real terrorist, they shoot him dead before asking if he's not perchance a plumber.

My mother-in-law wants this! (For her birthday, you understand)

Halelluja !

Amen to that.

As I am well on my way to being an old grouch myself, I'll be quite happy indeed the day they make a phone that bloody just phones.

With a nice, large address book, please, and full access to all kinds of networks so I'm not stuck in a foreign country when I have to phone somebody or a utility/emergency service.

If it does just that, then I would also expect it to be only slightly heavier than its battery - hey, maybe it could even run on solar power ! No - just kidding myself, it'll still need a battery for when the sun is down or I'm in a dark room.

Even so, its battery will certainly last longer than the one in the phone I've got now.

Also, for all you young'uns out there, remember one thing : if it can't connect to them that Intarwebs, and can't run Flash, Java or whatever it will be in five years time, then it can't be hacked either.

Now that's worth a thought, innit ?

Raygun 747 missile-zapping test video released

"[the Iranian missile threat] did not come as fast as we thought it’d come"

Somewhat like the WMD menace in Iraq then, eh ?

Good thing they didn't invade first, this time.

EMI puts Abbey Road under the silver hammer?

Not a mistake

It's called "rewriting history".

'Electronic fags' are useless - US prof's startling claim

Way ahead of you all

In this here brown envelope, I have a full report on the nefarious effects of not third-, not even fourth-, but seventh-, yes I said seventh-hand smoke.

The results are positively frightening and dangerous enough to guarantee that the US is going to invade Chili forthwith to put a stop to this intolerable and insidious campaign against the health of its citizens.

Mark my words : seventh-hand smoke will doom us all.

Intel finds cure for CPU old age

How curious

I've never had any capacitor issue on my motherboards, ASUS or otherwise. And I've bought plenty of motherboards in the past 15 years. 17, to be precise, and at least 5 were ASUS. Yeah, I was on the upgrade treadmill.

Most of my hardware problems were essentially due to bad power units - until I learned my lesson and started buying proper power units, quality and over -dimensioned for my needs. And a UPS to control the quality of the electrical current.

Since that time, about six years ago, I have never had any hardware problem of any kind.

Boffins spy liquid water on Saturn's moon

If I recall correctly

When our Sun is in its Red Giant phase, it will actually cool down because the energy will be emitted across a much larger cross-section (or something like that).

I'm not sure where that will put the Goldilocks zone, but I'm fairly sure that the outer planets and their moons will not get much more energy than they are getting now.

PayPal suspends India service

I don't get it

Don't you people have Visa or Master Card ?

You can pay plenty of things with one of those, and it works like a charm.

I once did get a second charge of €400 from a shady dealer, but I pointed it out to the bank and they refunded the money immediately without trouble.

Of course, my Visa is on a proper bank account, from a real bank where I can walk into an agency and yell my head off at some poor teller if there is a real problem.

I don't, never have and never will use PayPal, because I learned early on that PayPal is not a bank and certainly not a pal.

A real bank has the obligation to follow your instructions concerning your money (ie give you your money when you ask for it). A real bank cannot lock you away from your own account without an order from a judge, given during a proper legal procedure.

PayPal takes your money and then does as it pleases with your account. In my book, that is fraud and extortion, and PayPal should be dragged to the nearest wall and shot multiple times for having managed to implement their shoddy practices on a world-wide level.

Avatar whups Confucius's sorry ass

For your information

China is a communist state. The 72 virgins you refer to has to do with integrist Muslim teachings in terrorist circles.

The two are not alike, and should not be confused at all.

Aussie ISP beats Hollywood on 'copyright' rap

Well ROTFL

Another one bites the dust, as it were, and another judge proves that he actually has a brain and can use it for Justice, which is what he is actually paid to do.

And I just love the phrase "iiNet customers were also accused of creating physical DVD copies of Hollywood films - but the court found that the only people who definitely did this were AFCT investigators".

Priceless.

Google behavioral ad targeter is a Smart Ass

Let me see

All ad* and double* are redirected to Local Host in my hosts file.

I wonder where Google's wonderful tracking service goes from there ?

Transformers up for seven Razzies

Oh come on people

I liked Transformers. Only watched the first one though.

And I was drunk at the time.

Sky 3D soccer fails to score

Not really impressed

From what I read here, the 3D effect really stands out in rather close-up shots. Anything with a wide angle or with great depth-of-field appears to be too much to make a difference.

So, translated to the famous notion of "content", it would mean that Desperate Housewives, with all the close-in action, would gain immensely from this technology, whereas Lord of the Rings would falter in the wide-area scenes, which are the most beautiful.

Although I'd be as happy as any other bloke to witness fine Bulgarian Airbags (tm) in full 3D, it would be a somewhat small subset of all the stuff I watch on TV. Still, it remains as good a proof as any that the only thing 3D is really going to be good for is porn.

Which probably explains why Nvidia is pushing 3D-enabled video cards with all its might. It knows that, if it is to stay relevant in the PC world, it has to master this emerging technology as best it can.