Posts by Pascal Monett

Yahoo! turns! Twitter! firehose! on! self!

Oh great

The sewer spewer has gotten an extension to its territory. Glee.

Or not.

In any case, that definitely signs the death of the Yahoo bookmark on my browser.

Vodafone Ireland admits pocketing dormant PAYG cash

Ah, sweet justified outrage

It's good to go out and rage at something now and then, eh, Chief Executive ? Taking the moral high ground is such a rush.

So Vodaphone is a thief and picking pockets of innocent people ? Consumers should "vote with their feet" on the matter ?

Well I guess that, if their account is unused for the past nine months, they already _have_ voted "with their feet".

And, by all accounts, a nine-month delay is quite a luxurious one, given what standards are in use in other countries.

Oh, and there is the ever-so-small issue of the accounts that are untraceable. What would the Chief Executive want Vodaphone to do with those accounts ? Send him the money, maybe ?

Yes, it is surely that.

All in the name of justice, of course.

ODF's doomed mission to break into Microsoft Office

Not surprised in the least

Given that Microsoft Office versions have proven not always compatible between themselves, it is only just that Microsoft owns up to the fact that saving them in ODF format will not make things better. Microsoft has never implemented anyone else's standard without tweaking it, changing it, and finally strangling it where possible.

And, from a technical point of view, one must not forget that a file format is nothing but a data and function descriptor destined to be read by the appropriate application. If Word/Excel 2010 have functions that are not describable in ODF, then you cannot honestly expect the format to be able to save that information in a way that can be read later. That said, I fail to see how that could be the case. Even functions that only exist in Office 2010 should be describable in ODF format, although they will not be useable in Open Office, obviously. But of course, I'm not technical enough to know if that is actually possible.

I think this is just a case where Microsoft is being honest. Of course, it won't help Microsoft in the least, but this conspiracy mentality is a bit over-the-top in this case.

Google unveils one ad server to rule them all

127.0.0.1 double*

Just put that in your hosts file and be done with it.

Twitter bomb threat joke man faces possible jail sentence

None

Because if they really think he's a real terrorist, they shoot him dead before asking if he's not perchance a plumber.

My mother-in-law wants this! (For her birthday, you understand)

Halelluja !

Amen to that.

As I am well on my way to being an old grouch myself, I'll be quite happy indeed the day they make a phone that bloody just phones.

With a nice, large address book, please, and full access to all kinds of networks so I'm not stuck in a foreign country when I have to phone somebody or a utility/emergency service.

If it does just that, then I would also expect it to be only slightly heavier than its battery - hey, maybe it could even run on solar power ! No - just kidding myself, it'll still need a battery for when the sun is down or I'm in a dark room.

Even so, its battery will certainly last longer than the one in the phone I've got now.

Also, for all you young'uns out there, remember one thing : if it can't connect to them that Intarwebs, and can't run Flash, Java or whatever it will be in five years time, then it can't be hacked either.

Now that's worth a thought, innit ?

Raygun 747 missile-zapping test video released

"[the Iranian missile threat] did not come as fast as we thought it’d come"

Somewhat like the WMD menace in Iraq then, eh ?

Good thing they didn't invade first, this time.

EMI puts Abbey Road under the silver hammer?

Not a mistake

It's called "rewriting history".

'Electronic fags' are useless - US prof's startling claim

Way ahead of you all

In this here brown envelope, I have a full report on the nefarious effects of not third-, not even fourth-, but seventh-, yes I said seventh-hand smoke.

The results are positively frightening and dangerous enough to guarantee that the US is going to invade Chili forthwith to put a stop to this intolerable and insidious campaign against the health of its citizens.

Mark my words : seventh-hand smoke will doom us all.

Intel finds cure for CPU old age

How curious

I've never had any capacitor issue on my motherboards, ASUS or otherwise. And I've bought plenty of motherboards in the past 15 years. 17, to be precise, and at least 5 were ASUS. Yeah, I was on the upgrade treadmill.

Most of my hardware problems were essentially due to bad power units - until I learned my lesson and started buying proper power units, quality and over -dimensioned for my needs. And a UPS to control the quality of the electrical current.

Since that time, about six years ago, I have never had any hardware problem of any kind.

Boffins spy liquid water on Saturn's moon

If I recall correctly

When our Sun is in its Red Giant phase, it will actually cool down because the energy will be emitted across a much larger cross-section (or something like that).

I'm not sure where that will put the Goldilocks zone, but I'm fairly sure that the outer planets and their moons will not get much more energy than they are getting now.

PayPal suspends India service

I don't get it

Don't you people have Visa or Master Card ?

You can pay plenty of things with one of those, and it works like a charm.

I once did get a second charge of €400 from a shady dealer, but I pointed it out to the bank and they refunded the money immediately without trouble.

Of course, my Visa is on a proper bank account, from a real bank where I can walk into an agency and yell my head off at some poor teller if there is a real problem.

I don't, never have and never will use PayPal, because I learned early on that PayPal is not a bank and certainly not a pal.

A real bank has the obligation to follow your instructions concerning your money (ie give you your money when you ask for it). A real bank cannot lock you away from your own account without an order from a judge, given during a proper legal procedure.

PayPal takes your money and then does as it pleases with your account. In my book, that is fraud and extortion, and PayPal should be dragged to the nearest wall and shot multiple times for having managed to implement their shoddy practices on a world-wide level.

Avatar whups Confucius's sorry ass

For your information

China is a communist state. The 72 virgins you refer to has to do with integrist Muslim teachings in terrorist circles.

The two are not alike, and should not be confused at all.

Aussie ISP beats Hollywood on 'copyright' rap

Well ROTFL

Another one bites the dust, as it were, and another judge proves that he actually has a brain and can use it for Justice, which is what he is actually paid to do.

And I just love the phrase "iiNet customers were also accused of creating physical DVD copies of Hollywood films - but the court found that the only people who definitely did this were AFCT investigators".

Priceless.

Google behavioral ad targeter is a Smart Ass

Let me see

All ad* and double* are redirected to Local Host in my hosts file.

I wonder where Google's wonderful tracking service goes from there ?

Transformers up for seven Razzies

Oh come on people

I liked Transformers. Only watched the first one though.

And I was drunk at the time.

Sky 3D soccer fails to score

Not really impressed

From what I read here, the 3D effect really stands out in rather close-up shots. Anything with a wide angle or with great depth-of-field appears to be too much to make a difference.

So, translated to the famous notion of "content", it would mean that Desperate Housewives, with all the close-in action, would gain immensely from this technology, whereas Lord of the Rings would falter in the wide-area scenes, which are the most beautiful.

Although I'd be as happy as any other bloke to witness fine Bulgarian Airbags (tm) in full 3D, it would be a somewhat small subset of all the stuff I watch on TV. Still, it remains as good a proof as any that the only thing 3D is really going to be good for is porn.

Which probably explains why Nvidia is pushing 3D-enabled video cards with all its might. It knows that, if it is to stay relevant in the PC world, it has to master this emerging technology as best it can.

Airport scanners go live today, kids included

V for Vendetta

It's amazing how prophetic that film is becoming.

Microsoft accuses Google of 'software plus services'

"Microsoft has accused Google of behaving like Microsoft"

Well, since Microsoft so famously declared the Internet "irrelevant", back when Gates was still considered as a visionary, its no surprise that Google, which is responsible in part for the way things are on the Internet today, would take advantage of its position and create its own environment.

The Internet is the one realm where Microsoft consistently fails. None of its many attempts to gain supremacy have managed to thoroughly extinguish its rivals. Now Google is coming along with its own tools. Combined with its reputation and market share, Google is certainly capable of making Microsoft quake in its boots.

And quake Microsoft will, because the Internet is a domain where the usual scare tactics don't work. Microsoft can pressure OEMs, distributors and whatever else, but ISPs are immune to its shenanigans. All that exists on the Internet are the users and Microsoft, unlike the RIAA and MPAA, is not dumb enough to try and scare the people who pay it.

Steve Jobs dubs Google's 'don't be evil' motto 'bulls**t'

Only one conclusion possible

Jobs is scared of the Googlephone.

Danes ditch Microsoft, take ODF road - at last

Spot on

I totally agree. 14 months until switchover - who's going to bet against Ballmer making a hop to Denmark before the summer ?

French mock British G-spot probe

the French will soon surrender

Reminds me of Calvin (from Calvin & Hobbes) when he said "if it's funny the first time, it's funny every time !".

Except, of course, that Calvin is just a kid.

Remote tribe discovered worshipping iPad

Congratulations

That has to be one the most tongue-in-cheek articles I have read in a long while.

More !

Silicone implants that generate 'leccy invented for US spooks

Wait a minute

Why should we have to have those things implemented under our skin ? Couldn't they work just as well in, say, pads between our feet and our shoes ? Seems to me there's enough squeezing there to do some good in leccy generation.

Add pads in pant seats and you'll have all the beancounters running their computers without need of a plug. And they'll be exercising as well ! Medical and economical issues gone in one stroke of genius !

Send my check to my lawyer.

Windows 8 possible July 2011 release?

9 years

and I see no problem in waiting a few more.

Actually, what with embedded DRM now apparently a permanant part of the Windows OS landscape, I see no reason to continue purchasing Windows at all.

As long as my games work on my hardware, I'll use XP. It's plenty good for what I do.

The day XP can no longer cope with the hardware, well I'll take a look at the landscape at that point.

After all, I don't change my car every three years either. And yes, my previous car lasted 12 years in case you're wondering.

Windows 7 upgrades Vista laptops to lower battery life

Oh really ?

And what of the FACT that there are many people complaining about battery life ? Or are you the kind of person who, if this article had not been posted, would complain about the Reg ignoring battery issues with MS Vista SP2, aka Windows 7 ?

Fault tolerant ? Windows ?

Excuse me while I get a new keyboard, this one just got sputtered on.

"in some cases, the new tool may be working properly"

Newsflash : Microsoft may have finally made a tool that actually works from time to time, in some specific cases.

Microsoft 'offered sex and drugs to distributors'

Didn't they have mobiles ?

On the boat (before getting out of range, or when coming back in range) someone should have called the cops and had them waiting at the pier.

It would be a lot less deniable if the cops had arrested everyone, found banned substances and a group of skimpily-clad nubile women.

But they didn't, and they probably didn't take any pics either, so Microsoft will have an easy job of pretending that it is above such practices.

Japanese biometric border check no match for, um, tape

So the tech is getting cheaper

Such a thing used to be reserved for high-level hitmen, international criminal masterminds and James Bond.

Now the nightclub hostesses and illegal immigrants can use them.

Looks like there has been a serious lowering in the tech barrier on that market.

Second US man admits DDoS attack on Scientology

Can't help but wonder

Just how much inside influence do the Thetanists have on that judge.

'You own the road!': Google gets spanking from media giant

Overly generous I think

We all know that the Internet belongs to no one. Most of us also know that creating a service like GoogleAds is an expensive and time-consuming endevour.

GoogleAds exists, and more than 6 advertisers out of 10 choose it in preference to other providers.

In that sense, Google has created a well-trodden path of least resistance, and it does indeed own it.

So, in fact, from the advertiser's point of view, there is precious little choice to be had. Either you accept Google's Ts & Cs, or you miss out on 60% of your potential audience.

That does not sound good to me, and I find normal that somebody steps up to the plate to say something about it.

Then again, it does make me think that perhaps Bing is not too late to the market after all. Or even that, maybe, Ballmer is the one stirring up the pot and playing it from the shadows for once.

I mean, I don't even know any other service apart from GoogleAds that does that job. There must be some, of course, but they are not well-known to the general public.

So Bing is probably poised to gain traction in the ad market by simple virtue of being known to the public as the Google competitor.

Egads ! Could Ballmer have actually had an insight ? My worldview has just taken an asteroid to the chin.

Chinese Avatards scale Hallelujah Mountain

They're sending a message all right !

"By changing the name from South Pillar of the Heaven to Hallelujah Mountain, we are sending a message: " Zhangjiejie accepts MasterCard, Visa and American Express.

Who said that China was communist already ? This is about as capitalistic as it gets !

Adultery website boosted by Christian publicity campaign

Slacktivism ?

Adopted !

Only nukes can stop planetsmash asteroids, say US boffins

Vatican-sized ? Cathedral-sized limited nuclear bombardment ?

Methinks you're going to get quite a roasting from the more religious types.

Maybe you're looking for alternative heat sources to keep your offices warm ?

Microsoft gets in hosted services' face, causes headache

"competitive threats beyond Microsoft"

That sounds a bit like "other reasons to die beyond the 10km-wide asteroid".

Sure there are other reasons, but that doesn't make the 10km-wide asteroid any less deadly.

3D TV gets cold shower from Avatar man

How comforting

I am quite reassured that the majority of comments here follow the same thoughts I have on the subject, namely :

- that 3D will be a mess of standards

- that we are still in Blu-Ray adoption (or avoidance) phase, so starting over again now is ridiculous

- that wearing those stupid glasses at home is out of the question

So now I will just sit back and watch the speed at which this whole mess will implode.

Trojan pr0n dialers make comeback on mobile phones

Man oh man

If you're happy viewing porn on a 2" screen, I guarantee you'll be overjoyed when you view your porn on a 22" one.

You might want to try it one day, but beware, after you do, you'll never go back.

French culture minister flames Google over book scan plan

No kidding

"Avenir de la langue française", eh ? They'd be better off looking at how our teenagers are "writing" (I use the term in the purely technical sense) these days.

Methinks that, in the next twenty years, Avenir de la langue française will be populated by the kids that grew up writing CMMNT CA VA ? instead of Comment ça va ? and, at that point, it will be a damn good thing that English is the international language of choice, because French is drowning in its own ignorance.

And there is no Mitterand that is going to change that.

Browsers could host a (simple) database

Going full circle, are we ?

The merry-go-round continues.

We've gone from local databases to networked databases, to remotely-hosted databases, to databases hosted on the Internet, and now somebody wants to find a way to locally store the remotely-hosted Internet databases. And update them.

I'm sure there's a way to find all this funny, only I can't see it.

Spider-Man 4 washed down plughole

"Columbia stands to save a few bucks"

So do I - since I certainly won't see it.

Star Trek to boldly go (again)

No to seeing other TOS or even TNG characters

For Pete's sake, the reboot has taken the franchise into brand-new territory.

I accept Spock coming back because it holds together in the current story. Fine. But there is no possibility for anyone else to come back. None. Nil. And please don't try to find one for the sake of pleasing Shatner. That's not an excuse.

If this new series starts down that path, it is doomed. Period.

I say the second film should see the death of Old Spock, and get rid of all ties with the previous timeline.

Let's boldly go where Star Trek hasn't been in quite a while : to brand-new, unexplored scripts that are actually coherent and thought through !

US Matrix-style cyberwar firing range goes to Phase II

So OpCenter is going active ?

We're now living in a Tom Clancy novel, apparently. Do they also have a simulated hostage situation with cyber-SWAT teams moving in on the criminals/terrorists ?

And, of course, can it run Crysis ?

Zuckerberg: 'I am a prophet'

That is one easy prophecy

Let me see how this works :

1) create (or steal the code to) a website that allows people to share their personal life

2) make it really popular by recruiting coders to enhance its appeal (add apps) for free

3) weed out the independent thinkers by imposing arbitrary and annoying restrictions

4) make sure that most of the users that stay are sheeple that accept everything you do

5) conclude that, since your own users bend over for you on your command, the entire world will do so as well

That, obviously, is where MZ is going to fall on his teeth. When 90% of your users accept what you do it just means that you have managed to recruit people who submit to your will. Congrats on that point, obviously, but I'd rather be hanged than participate willingly in a so-called "social website".

So you won't have MY details to sell, bitch !

Google book scanners apologize to Chinese scribes

"This is an unusual step for Google"

Ain't it so ? Usually they make loads of money BEFORE being caught on some technicality.

DARPA to build 'needle-in-haystack' detector goggles

I thnk it would be brilliant

This would be a must-have gadget for scouts. Crawl to the top of the hill, whip out the electronoculars and do a slow left-right. Anything moving in the distance gets tagged on the internal screen. One press of a button and the "enocs" zoom in to allow for maximum ident ability. Press button again and normal scanning resumes. Once the sweep is finished, scout crawls back down, and signals that nothing is moving in the next sector.

The squad resumes silent progression through the undergrowth . . .

Such an equipment will obviously require optics that are beyond current abilities. And high-def CCDs coupled to movement-detecting software, along with the requisite 5 pound battery. But hey, I'd really like a working version myself !

Trouser-bomb clown attacks - how much should we laugh?

The attack WAS a failure

It is only the government using the attack as fodder to increase surveillance that makes it a success. It is only the media's morbid interest in anything remotely scary that can be printed or broadcast that makes it important.

Which clearly means that our governments are the true terrorists. Bin Laden & Co are giggling with glee in their Hilton suite - uh, cave. They spend, oh, $2000 telling fibs to an idiot and let him fool around with moderately dangerous, inexpensive components, and our enlightened leaders budget $20,000,000 to "improve" our security.

The true terrorism is economic, and we're doing the job on ourselves.

Winston Churchill would round up the lot of them and have them shot in the backyard for treason, no trial required.

Spain seeks fast track for pirate site shutdowns

lost $1.6 billion in revenue

Yeah, we know how THAT is calculated :

- accuse thousands of filesharing

- do not check that IP address and physical location concorde

- accuse said victims of activity far in excess of what actual bandwidth allows

- tag an exorbitantly enormous price to each alledged infrigement, effectively creating an accusation for which the penalty is more severe than for murder

- serve up collated cases as cold, hard cash lost, not mentioning that nothing has actually been won in court yet

RSA crypto defiled again, with factoring of 768-bit keys

ooh, disaster looms !

Really, I'm terrified. A bunch of scientists implemented the necessary infrastructure to harness the calculating power of hundreds of CPUs, probably via a readily-available communication medium, and tailored that effort to break the 768-bit level of RSA encryption.

As opposed to the russian mafia, who might have those scientists, and might even be able to implement the project, but who would probably be more likely to just send Ivan over to punch you into giving them the password. With a knife on the throat of your firstborn child if necessary.

And if its the NSA or some other spooky governmental agency, well if they're looking at you that intently they already have your password.

Are there really all that many industrial espionage cases based on cracking encryption ? What is encryption really for after all ? Maintaining an acceptable level of privacy. The basic thug cannot crack any RSA key. An international crime outfit doesn't care about personal emails unless you're already on their target list. And the government has hundreds of other ways to get that information if they really want it.

If it takes 1500 years for someone to be able to read the cookie recipie that I sent my brother-in-law last week, well I think that's good enough. Call me when it's down to six months.

Blu-ray capacity to increase by a third

What a load of bull

3D is a fad that was old twenty years ago. Worse, it is a technology that implies that the film be made around it, instead of serving the idea of the filmmaker.

We are far from holodecks, we don't even have holographic television available. It has been years since this film-with-blue-and-red-glasses technology came out, and the idea has not progressed beyond that in any way.

On top of that, I am simply not interested by 3D, and certainly not enough to change my perfectly good TV against one that will require me to wear those stupid colored glasses.

This will never take off, period.